Chapter 33 Thirty-three

"Let us pray for her. For both men and women are like flowers in the valley that bloom today and may wither tomorrow. Human life is like a season that comes and goes. Let us Pray." Ellie, who was wearing a navy blue dress she bought just for the occasion, ducked her head so fast that Louis, sitting next to her, could hear the bones in her neck rattle.Ellie seldom went to church, and of course this was the first time she attended a funeral. The funeral in the church gave her a feeling of awe, and she was a little silent and uneasy. For Louis, he rarely had the opportunity to observe his daughter calmly and objectively alone, largely because he ignored her daughter because of his love for his son.But today he thought he saw the first stages of development in a child's reaction to dying, almost just curiosity.Ellie sat in her chair without saying a word, even when Chad came in in his black suit and leather shoes and bent over her and kissed her and said, "I'm so glad you're here, baby. I bet Norma is too", Ellie still stared at him blankly with wide-eyed eyes, without making a sound.

After the pastor finished his prayers and asked God to help them and let the dead rest in peace, he said, "Will the coffin bearers come forward?" Louis was about to stand up when Ellie grabbed him, tugging desperately at his arm, looking terrified. "Dad! Where are you going?" Allie asked in a low voice, trying to be heard. Louis sat down next to his daughter again, put his arm around her and said, "Honey, I'm one of the coffin bearers, which means I'm going to help get Norma out. It's going to take four people to carry it, and it's me, Chad two nephews and Norma's brother."

"Then where can I find you?" Louis glanced to the front of the church, where the other three pallbearers had gathered, as well as Chad.The others went out one by one, crying. "Just go out and stand on the steps, and I'll find you, okay, Ellie." "Okay, just don't forget me, don't leave me alone!" "Will not." Louis stood up, and his daughter took his hand again and said, "Daddy?" "what happened, Babe?" Ellie whispered, "Don't drop her on the floor." Louis came to the front, and Chad introduced him to his nephews, who were actually descendants of Chad's uncle.They were both great lads in their 20s who looked alike.Luis also saw Norma's younger brother, probably in his 50s, who seemed strong despite the pain of losing his family.

"It's been an honor to meet all of you," Louis said, feeling a little embarrassed that he was the only one outside of Chad's family. They nodded to him. "Is Ellie okay?" Chad asked Louis, nodding to Ellie.Ellie was lingering in the church foyer, looking in. Of course...she was trying to make sure I wouldn't be a puff of smoke and go up to the sky.Louis thought, almost laughing, and the thought aroused another consciousness: Worth the Horror, and the smile faded away. Louis said, "Yeah, I think it's okay." After he finished speaking, he raised his hand and waved to Allie.Ellie also raised her hand and waved to him, and then walked out like a gust of wind.For a moment Louis was a little surprised and disturbed, wondering why his daughter was so grown-up.It was just a certain impression, no matter how fleeting it was, it made people hesitate.

"Is everyone ready?" one of Chad's nephews asked. Louis nodded, and Norma's brother nodded too. "Slow down," Chad said, his voice cracking.Then he turned and walked slowly down the aisle with his head down. Louis walked to the left rear side of the gray steel coffin that Chad had carefully selected for his wife, grabbed the lifting pole, and the four of them walked slowly outside.It was sunny but cold in February, and someone... probably the church superintendent had put a layer of cinders on the slippery road.A Cadillac hearse on the side of the road belches white mist.The funeral director and his tall, strong son stood by, watching them, ready to take over if someone (Norma's brother, perhaps) slipped or got tired.

Chad stood next to the host and watched them put the coffin into the car, then lit a cigarette and said, "Goodbye, Norma, I'll see you in a minute, my old girl." Louis put an arm around Chad's shoulders, Norma's brother stood on the other side of Chad, close together, and the funeral director and his son walked behind.Chad's two brawny nephews had finished carrying the coffins themselves and were happy to leave.They didn't know Chad and his wife well, and they just had to visit Chad and Norma once in a while, and sit in the foyer of their house and eat some cookies.Drink some beer or something, they are actually very distant.

For these people, the Chad family lived in the past, which is often remembered and quickly forgotten.If the human body is nothing but an envelope containing the human soul, then this coffin is just an envelope containing the human body.And for these strong young men, the past is but a letter to be thrown away. God preserves the past, Louis thought, shuddering suddenly at the thought of what his grandchildren would think of him in the future, which must also be unfamiliar.People have fewer family members, people's focus has shifted, and younger faces flash in old photos. Only God preserves the past.Louis thought of this sentence again, and hugged the old man's shoulders tightly.The funeral master placed the flowers in the back of the hearse.The electric windows went up and fell back down with a whimper.Louis walked back to where Ellie was standing, and the two of them headed for their own station wagon.Louis held Allie's arm tightly to keep her from slipping.The car's engine started, and Ellie asked in bewilderment, "Dad, why do they have the lights on? Why are they still on at noon."

"They did it," Louis said, listening to his gruff voice, "in honor of the dead." He turned the knob that turned on the headlights and said to Allie, "Let's go." Finally the service in the cemetery was over, actually in the chapel in the Hope Hill cemetery.It was too cold to dig Norma's grave and coffin until after spring.They were finally going home when Allie burst into tears. Louis looked at her a little surprised, but didn't feel flustered and said, "Ellie, what's wrong?" Allie sobbed, "No more cookies from her. She made the best oatmeal cookies I've ever had. But she can't make them anymore because she's dead. Dad, Why do people have to die?"

"I don't really know," Louis said. "I think it's to make room for new people. For kids like you and your brother." "I'm never going to get married or have sex or have kids!" Ellie exclaimed, crying harder than ever.She went on: "Maybe I'll never die then! Death is terrible! It's evil!" Louis said calmly: "But death is also a painful ending. As a doctor I've seen all kinds of pain, and one of the reasons I work here at the university is because I'm tired of looking at it all day long. Young people usually have pain...even excruciating pain...but that's not the same as pain." He paused and added, "Believe it or not, baby, when you get old, death isn't what you imagined it to be." That's horrible and bad. You have many, many years before you get old."

Ellie cried loudly, then she sobbed for a while, then stopped crying.When they were almost home, she asked if she could turn on the radio.Louis said yes, and Ellie found a radio station, which was playing the song "This Old House" sung by Stephens, and Ellie sang along with it after a while.When she got home, she found her mother and told Rachel about the funeral, and Rachel listened quietly and sympathetically, encouraging Allie to continue... But Louis thought his wife looked pale and seemed to be thinking a lot . Ellie later asked Rachel if she knew how to make oatmeal cookies, and Rachel put down the sweater she was knitting, stood up immediately, as if she had been waiting for Ellie to ask about this or something, and said, "Yes. , do you want to make a furnace?"

Ellie yelled, "Hey! Mom, can we really make this?" "If your dad can watch over Gage for an hour, we can make it." Louis said, "I'd love to take care of it." Louis read the Medical Digest magazine in the evening, came across a long article, and took some notes.He was going to find a book to look up the material on the article's point of view, and then write a letter refuting the point of view in the article, when Rachel walked down the stairs and said, "Louis, can you come up?" Louis looked up at his wife and said, "Wait a minute. What's the matter?" "The children are fast asleep, both of them." Louis looked at Rachel carefully and said, "Yeah, they're all asleep, and you haven't?" "I'm fine, I was reading just now." "Are you okay? Really?" Rachel smiled and said, "Yes, I'm fine, I love you, Louise." "I love you too, baby." Louis glanced at the bookshelf and found the book he was looking for. When he reached for the book, he heard Rachel say, "While you and Ellie were going out, Church Caught a mouse and got it in the house." Rachel tried to laugh and said, "Geez, you don't know how bad it is." "God, Rachel, I'm sorry," he said, hoping he didn't bring out the guilt he felt at the time. "Is it really that bad?" In her pink flannel pajamas, her makeup washed off, her forehead glistening, her hair tied into a short ponytail with a rubber band, she sat on the stairs like a child.Rachel replied, "I did. But you know, I had to use the vacuum stick to get this big stupid cat out of the house, and he wanted to eat that dead mouse. And when I got him , he barks at me. Church has never barked at me before, and he seems to be different lately. Louis, do you think he has distemper or something?" "No," Louis said slowly, "but I'll take him to the vet if you want." "I think the kitten will be all right," she said, looking at Louis hotly. "But can you go upstairs? I just... I know you're working, but..." "Of course." Louis said, standing up, as if he hadn't done anything important.And, indeed, it didn't matter.It's just that he knows that letter will never be written again, because the current train of thought will be interrupted by new things tomorrow.But he would have to sacrifice the letter to comfort his wife that the rat must be bloody, gutted, and probably headless.Yes, he had to comfort his wife.All this happened because he brought the damn cat back from the dead. He turned off the light and said, "Let's go to bed." He put his arms around Rachel, caressing her, and they went upstairs together.But as they made out on the bed, Louis was still listening to the howling wind outside the window, wondering where Churchy, the cat that used to be his daughter's, was now, and where he was stalking and preying. Woolen cloth?Men are hardier, Louis thought, and Norma, who had knitted a pair of hats for her daughter and son, was lying in her coffin, and the cotton that the undertaker put in her mouth to support her shriveled cheeks might It's all black.