Chapter 19 Chapter Seventeen

And so began the day.After such a rather unsettling start, Arthur's mind began to regroup from the chaotic fragments that had left him the day before.He discovers an automatic nutrition machine, which leads him to a drink that doesn't quite look like tea, but isn't exactly tea.How this machine works is very interesting.When the button is pressed, it performs a quick but detailed examination of the person's taste buds, analyzes his metabolism with the help of a spectroscope, and then sends a weak test signal to the nerve center connected to the taste center of his brain to test what kind of The taste is more suitable.However, no one knows why it does this series of things, because it always ends up serving a drink that is not quite like tea, but not quite like it.This automatic nutrition machine is also designed and manufactured by the Sirius Control System Company, and its complaint department currently only accepts business from the main continents on the three planets in the Tao star system of the Sirius galaxy.

Arthur drank the drink and found it rather refreshing.Glancing at the screen, he saw the ship cross hundreds of miles of gray and barren land.It occurred to him to ask a question that had been bothering him. "Is this place safe?" he asked. "Magrath has been dead for five million years," Zaphod explained, "surely safe. By now even the ghosts should be settling down and having families." At this time, a strange inexplicable sound suddenly sounded in the control bridge—like a distant horn, hollow, sharp, and illusory.Next, an equally hollow, sharp, and illusory voice said: "Welcome..."

Someone on this dead planet was speaking to them. "Computer!" shouted Zaphod. "Dude, hello!" "What's that sound?" "Oh, just some 5-million-year-old tapes being broadcast to us." "What? Tapes?". "Hush!" said Ford, "it's still talking." The voice was old, courteous, and quite charming, but conveyed an unmistakable malevolence. "I'm afraid we're all dead at this point," it said, "so this is a pre-recorded statement. The Magrath Business Council welcomes its distinguished guests..."

("Voice of old Magrath!" cried Zaphod. "Yes, yes," said Ford.) "...But unfortunately," the voice continued, "the entire planet is temporarily closed to all business. Thank you. If you would like to leave your name and address where you can be contacted, please leave a message when you hear the signal. " A beep followed, followed by silence. "They don't want to talk to us." Trillian said nervously, "What should we do now?" "It's just a recording," Zaphod said. "Let's move on. Do you hear me, computer?"

"Understood." The computer said and accelerated the speed of the spaceship. They wait. Only about a second later, the horn sounded again, and then the sound came. "We assure you that once our business reopens, the relevant statement will be published in all fashion magazines and color supplements, at which time our clients will once again be able to order the best contemporary geographies." Then , the threat in the voice became more obvious, "Thank you for your interest in us, but now, we must ask you to leave. Immediately." Arthur looked around at the tense faces of his companions.

"Well, I think we'd better go now, what do you think?" he suggested. "Shh!" said Zaphod, "it's nothing to worry about." "Then why does everyone seem so nervous?" "Just interested!" shouted Zaphod. "Computer, lower the landing gear and get ready to land." This time the horn sounded perfunctory, while the human voice became unusually stern. "Great," it said, "your enthusiasm for our planet has not diminished in the slightest, so we can only assure you that the defense missiles are now targeting your ships, which we have prepared exclusively for all of our most enthusiastic customers." Yes, these missiles are equipped with nuclear warheads, of course, these are just trivial matters. We look forward to your order in the next life... Thank you."

The sound stopped abruptly. "Oh." Trillian said. "Well..." said Arthur. "What?" said Ford. "Look," said Zaphod, "are you serious about it? It's just a voicemail. It's been around for millions of years. It's not for us, understand?" "What?" Trillian asked back, "Do you mean those missiles?" "Missile? Stop kidding." Ford patted Zaphod on the shoulder and pointed to the screen behind him.Above, two silver javelins could be clearly seen piercing the atmosphere towards the tail of the spacecraft.The screen was zoomed in in time to see more clearly—two real rockets were moving across the sky.Its suddenness is truly shocking.

"I think they're really ready to give us a treat," Ford said. Zaphod watched it all in amazement. "Hey, that's unbelievable!" he said, "someone down here is trying to kill us!" "Incredible," said Arthur. "Don't you understand what that means?" "Of course. We're dying." "Yes, but other than that..." "besides?" "That means we have to get on to something else!" "How long will it take us to leave the ship?" Second by second, the missiles on the screen became bigger and bigger.They have adjusted their flight attitude and are facing the spacecraft, so all they can see are the fully loaded nuclear warheads.

"Interesting situation," Trillian said. "What can we do now?" "Just keep calm," said Zaphod. "That's all?" cried Arthur. "No, we can still... um... take evasive action!" said Zaphod, feeling a sudden panic. "Computer, what evasive action can we take?" "Well, I'm afraid I didn't, buddy," said the computer. "Or do something else," Zaphod went on, "...like..." He couldn't think of anything. "Something seems to be jamming my navigation system," the computer explained. "45 seconds until impact. Please call me Eddie, it may help everyone relax."

Zaphod tried to consider several solutions simultaneously. "By the way!" he said, "well... we can manually control the ship." "Can you drive?" Ford asked happily. "No, what about you?" "Won't." "Trilith, what about you?" "Won't." "Fine," Zaphod seemed relieved, "we can do it together." "I wouldn't either," said Arthur, thinking that now was the time for him to come out. "I guess so," said Zaphod. "Okay, computer, now I need full manual control."

"Please," said the computer. Several huge panels slid open, and a row of consoles popped up in front of them, still wrapped in polystyrene bags and cellophane: the control system had never been used. Zaphod stared at the things almost frantically. "Okay, Ford," he said, "full brake rocket, ten degrees to starboard. Or something..." "Good luck, guys," the computer chirped, "30 seconds until impact..." Ford flung himself at the console—there were only a few joysticks he could vaguely guess what they were for, and he yanked them.The ship began to shake and scream, as if guidance rockets were trying to push it in every direction at the same time.He let go of the joystick halfway, and the ship turned and headed straight for the roaring missile. The people on board fell to the wall, and the air cushion immediately popped out of the wall for emergency protection.For several seconds, the pressure of inertia made them breathless and unable to move.Zaphod struggled frantically and desperately, finally kicking a small lever in the navigation system. The lever snapped off.The spaceship shook violently, and then began to climb upwards.The people on board fell heavily in the cabin.Ford's (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) flew out and smashed part of the console, and it itself started explaining how to smuggle Antares parakeet glands out of Antares (Antares parakeet glands glued together on a thin stick, a disgusting but precious cocktail-making tool. Some rich fools are usually willing to pay a lot of money for it to show off to other rich fools.) The spaceship suddenly looked like a It fell straight down from the sky like a pebble. Naturally, around this time, one of the ship's crew got a bruise on his forearm.This must be emphasized because, as previously stated, they escaped safely with no other casualties other than this bruise.The nuclear missile did not hit the spacecraft, and the safety of the crew is now absolutely guaranteed. "20 seconds until impact, guys..." the computer was still reporting. "Put the damn engine back on!" Zaphod yelled. "Sniff, of course, man," said the computer.With a low growl, the engine resumed operation, and the spaceship smoothly pulled up from the dive state to level flight, and flew towards the missile again. The computer starts singing. "As you walk through the storm..." it hummed nasally, "hold your head high..." Zaphod screamed to be shut up, but his voice was drowned out by the screams of the others as they faced death again. "Don't... be afraid of... the dark!" Eddie continued howling. The ship was turned upside down during the pull-up, so they were now lying upside down on the ceiling, with the edges of the nav system out of reach. "At the end of the storm..." Eddie sings. Two missiles roared and gradually approached the spacecraft. "It's a clear sky..." Fortunately, the missile did not accurately correct its course according to the irregular swing of the spacecraft, so it finally brushed past the bottom of the spacecraft. "...15 seconds to impact, guys... blowing in the wind..." The missile drew an arc sharply in front, turned around, and re-aligned with the target. "That's it," said Arthur, staring at them. "We're dead this time, aren't we?" "I hope you don't say that now," Ford shouted at him. "But that's the truth, isn't it?" "yes." "Through the raindrops..." Eddie was still singing. Suddenly, a thought hit Arthur.He jumped up. "Why hasn't anyone turned on the improbability drive?" he said. "We should be able to get to that." "What are you trying to do, are you crazy?" Zaphod said. "Anything can happen if you don't follow the correct procedures." "By this time, do these still matter?" Arthur roared. "Through your dreams..." Eddie sings. Arthur crawled to the arc where the wall meets the ceiling. "Go, go, with hope in your heart..." "Does anyone know why Arthur can't turn on the improbability drive?" Trillian asked loudly. "You're never alone... 5 seconds to impact God bless guys...you're never... never...alone!" "I'm asking," cried Trillian, "does anyone know..." What happened next was an explosion with noise and flashes that seemed to tear people's heads apart.