Chapter 23 Chapter Twenty-Three

The battle for Xexis still rages on.Hundreds of Xersla ships armed with dreadful weapons have now been smashed to atoms by the destroying beams emitted by Xerxis ships. A piece of the moon was gone, blasted off the first part as the gunfire that tore through the fabric of space burned through it. The surviving Xersla ships, armed with fearsome weaponry, were now hopelessly pinned down by the ever-increasing firepower of the Xexis ships, and began fleeing for cover beneath the crumbling moon.At this time, the Zexis spacecraft that was chasing them suddenly announced that it was on vacation, and then left the battlefield.

Everything felt doubled in fear and horror for an instant, but the spaceship had already left. Thus the ship wields immense power, skimming across irrational expanses, swiftly, effortlessly, and above all, silently. Deep in his greasy, smelly bunk converted from a maintenance opening, Ford Prefect fell asleep in the middle of his pile of towels, dreaming of places he used to frequent.For a moment he dreamed of New York. In the dream, one night, he was walking along the river in the East Side of New York. The river was so polluted that some new life forms naturally appeared, and they had begun to demand welfare and voting rights.

One of these new life forms floats past, still waving.Ford waved back. The thing writhed to the bank and struggled to climb ashore. "Hey!" it said, "I have just been created. I don't know anything about the universe. Is there anything you can tell me?" "Well," said Ford, a little bewildered, "I can tell you where a few bars are, I think." "What about love and happiness? I feel a great need for such things," it said, waving its tentacles. "Is there any way to get there?" "You can get all you want," Ford said, "on Seventh Avenue."

"I instinctively feel," said the thing eagerly, "that I have to be pretty. Don't I?" "Are you speaking too directly?" "Stop talking nonsense. Do you?" "Me?" said Ford. "No. But look," he added after a pause, "most people will understand, you know. Anyone else like you down there?" "Look at me, man," said the thing, "as I said, I'm new here. Life is totally foreign to me. What's life like?" It's a question Ford thinks he can address with authority. "Life," he said, "is like a grapefruit."

"Uh, why?" "Well, it's kind of orange and pitted on the outside, and it's soggy and soft inside. There are some small seeds in it too. Oh, and some people use half of it for breakfast." "Is there anyone else out there who I can talk to?" "I hope so," said Ford. "You ask the police." Sinking deep in his bunk, Ford Prefect rolled over.It wasn't his favorite kind of dream, without the three-breasted whore on Lust Six, which he had in many of his dreams.But at least it's a dream.At least he's asleep now.