Chapter 42 Chapter 41

Apparently Black and White intentionally flew to Thailand, which he had never been before in his life, waiting there for the moment of reincarnation, because he in the next life—that is, me, when he "woke up suddenly" in Chiang Mai, the hell with me Having sex with a strange woman. After "I" ejaculated in a daze, I put on my pants and wanted to leave. The strange woman chased after her and spoke a language he didn't understand, but her body movements were obviously asking for money, so I gave it without saying a word. So my first recognition of my identity was that of a prostitute.

I was unfamiliar with the place, could not speak Thai, and did not have any documents on me. I was very flustered at first. Fortunately, I had a lot of Thai baht in my pocket, which was enough for me to eat and live for a while. When I saw myself in the mirror for the first time, I felt a complete strangeness. It was a horrible feeling. I didn't even have any impression of the beetle tattoo on my chest.Beetle will be my first name for now. I was spending money looking for answers to who I am and of course there was nothing the hell.After running out of money, I stayed in Chiang Mai and worked as a waiter in a ladyboy nightclub invested by Chinese. The salary of the waiter was very low, but my main income came from my hands that could not control myself.

I find it surprising that in crowded nightclubs, I always involuntarily fumble for money in the wallets of dancing guests, and never miss it. I guess I must have been a habitual thief in the past?My attitude of not being ashamed further confirms this conjecture. I stopped being a thief, not out of shame, but because I found more promising employment. In Chiang Mai, there was an old policeman who liked to collect antique watches. He was used to taking bribes. After retiring, he changed his name and set up a new gang. He specialized in football betting in Chiang Mai, and his business was booming.I was also recruited by this new gang at a young age. I am very capable, I can do everything, and I am ruthless. Anyway, I don’t know anyone and I don’t have any family or friends. I am not afraid of what happens if I offend anyone.

In this way, the new gang has no seniors, and I quickly became the deputy. I am a good big brother in the eyes of dozens of younger brothers.During this period, I "learned" to use a gun, and I was good at it. Soon I began to teach a group of boys around me how to shoot more efficiently, but no one has ever learned the same dual-gun technique as me. With the money, I went back and bought the ladyboy club and tried to turn it into a rock bar, but it never worked because I kept turning down rock singers who came to me.To be honest, I think those singers are too un-rock.After much deliberation, why not go up and sing by myself?After all, I am really very talented in rock and roll, but I lack a little opportunity and courage, and I am missing a musician who plays guitar and drums for me.It's okay, I can wait, anyway, I'm the boss!

The old policeman likes me as a deputy very much, but he doesn't like me getting too close to his daughter. He wholeheartedly wants to marry his only daughter to a good family with a clean family background. I agree with this intellectually, but everyone agrees. It can be seen that I have a hot fight with his daughter, and it seems that I will become his son-in-law sooner or later.This is not in my career plan. I just happened to fall in love with the boss's daughter, and it has nothing to do with the desire for prosperity.I'd rather she be a whore. The exasperated old policeman had no choice but to set up a trap to let me bear the notoriety of killing my companions in a trap of pretending to be gangsters, so that he had a reason to devote all his efforts to kill me.I have won the game, even if I know it well, I have only one way to escape.I only took the most important luggage, my woman, the daughter of the old policeman, and two guns, and boarded the train away from Chiang Mai.

Along the way, my woman told me, why don't we leave Thailand, she can accept the life of never seeing her father.I refuse, one day I will go back, I will go to a bigger city, such as Bangkok, find opportunities to form my own gang, prove that I can stand on my own, and when I can be on an equal footing with the old policeman, he will know that his daughter did not follow Wrong person. She kept crying and it got on my nerves and we didn't speak for days. My daughter ran away with others, and the old policeman was furious, and of course he wanted my life even more.More than 20 gangsters came out to hunt them down, but they still had friendship and loyalty towards me, the former deputy gang leader, so everyone fired a few shots at will to give an explanation to the old policeman.

But the bullet has no eyes, and accidentally let the old policeman's daughter die under the rebounding stray bullet. Hell, of course I was very broken. I knew that my beloved woman died and I couldn't blame these brothers. My body was still imprisoned by blind hatred. One shot at a time killed those brothers who adored me. I figured it out, anyway, I'm a villain, so I just went to the end, so I went back to my hometown in Chiang Mai and used up all the bullets I could buy, so that the bastard old policeman also died under my gun . I used to hire professional killers for gangs, but now I have become a professional killer myself.Of course I am a good hand. In a special case where I was hired to cover a bank robber, I killed more than 20 policemen on the street who were going to intercept the robber on the street like ghosts and gods. Those who did not die even hid in the police car. Dare to come down.

That case made the name "The Beetle" famous, and of course some people said I was crazy. There is no doubt that I am of course crazy, crazy, I bet my life with people every time I go out on a mission, and at the end of the bet, I doubt whether I want to die or want to prove that I can't die.God damn it I hate feeling like this. I hate myself for killing the woman who left everything and nothing but wanting to be with me forever that night, and I hate even more for killing all those good brothers who wanted to let me go.I'm an inhuman bastard.But they didn't turn into ghosts knocking on my door in the middle of the night to seek my life, and they didn't even appear in my dreams to frighten me, which made me feel guilty... They didn't even care about being ghosts.I don't deserve to kill them.

The reason why I recorded this sound here is because I am back here again. After a long detour, I actually came to Taiwan by accident for an extremely stupid reason, and came to his clinic.He was shocked when he saw me, and he was speechless for a long time when he heard what happened to me. At that time, I only felt that he was frightened by the gun in my hand, but when I realized how I was I was even more shocked when I couldn't kill him.Since then, I have come to this clinic every day to try to kill him, which has almost become my only interest.Eventually I got tired of playing it, and when I put the gun over my head to pull the trigger, I realized that I couldn't even kill myself in front of him.

I was frustrated, but I also discovered the further usage of the hypnotic magic he cast on me. I begged him to reset all the memories in my head to zero, and let me start a blank life somewhere. The results of it? In the end, he showed me the "me in the previous life", that is, the stack of ghost paper left by "black and white". Hahaha I laughed until I burst into tears on the spot. It turns out that "I in the previous life" was also a sinful villain!We're equal in our ability to drag other people's lives down, and we're equal in our ability to ruin our own.

The doctor told me that I was his best friend for life, and of course he could help me again, but he asked me to think clearly—from this experience, he thought I would go back to the origin of memory again. There is cause and effect in the dark, and this cause and effect cannot be relieved through hypnosis. He suggested to me that only when karma is undone can life truly begin. God damn it I don't understand, I can't carry this shitty life on my back for even a second after I know there's a quick way to destroy my old life.I knelt on the ground and begged this doctor who claimed to be my best friend, forcing him to do it immediately and plant the special effect bomb in my head. He agreed, the only requirement was that I record the memories of my life. If this is the only condition, I have to accept it, anyway, I can't hear it myself. As for the last words... I have nothing to say, I'm just a guy who has nothing to say. I'm not qualified to comment on this kind of useless life, I just hope that the bomb in my head will completely blow everything in me to ashes.In terms of expectation, um, let me have a little more luck in becoming a rock singer when I reincarnate. Goodbye, beetle, go to hell. No one will miss you.