Chapter 154 Let's look forward to the future again

1 When I go to Beijing these years, I always like to be imprisoned in "Contemporary", which is the back building of People's Literature Publishing House.In many famous courtyards, the back building is where leading cadres are located.But in the famous courtyard of No. 166 Chaonei Street, it is "Contemporary".So despite going back and forth, it is more lively and open than the front building.For me, this is a place where I have something to talk about, a book to read, a magazine to pick up, and a place to eat.This last point is especially important. At noon, the people of "Contemporary" always bring boxed lunches from the restaurant where they ordered meals, and sit around the coffee table in a crowded room full of books, newspapers, and magazines between the sofas, eating, talking.They know that I am a vegetarian, so there is no trace of meat in the box lunch they give me, and it feels refreshing and clean.Of course, there is also a banquet, but I often ignore that it is for me to catch up with the wind. I only realize it after the show is over.

In addition to eating, there is also dressing.When I went to Beijing to attend a grand gathering, people asked me to wear a formal dress, but I went to Beijing as a T-shirt, and it was collarless.Everyone is in suits and leather shoes, how can you stand out from the crowd? Yang Xinlan of "Contemporary" brought her husband's suit, a new one, and claimed that "you two are about the same size".Once worn, the trousers are wide enough to hold my half stomach and three legs.That has to be worn too.But Xiao Yang took the suit, but forgot the tie.She ran around asking for one to put on, but suddenly she became stupid again: no one knows how to wear a tie, not even Shi Yifeng, a new-generation editor who graduated from Peking University, and even Xu Zitong, a fashionable girl.Said it was Shiba Hui, and after finally waiting for it, he said with a chuckle, "No, no." His expression was unruly, with a hint of sarcasm about the suit and tie hidden, it seemed that he would not be proud.It just so happened that Shiba's lover also came, and made a few gestures on my neck, hoping that she could tie it well, but it turned out that she was not wearing a tie but a silk scarf.Not to mention Changyi, he happily concluded: "This is "Contemporary"." He explained unwillingly, "This group of people used to know how to fight." We wore it, and later everyone wore suits, so we stopped peeing on it.But now is not the time to sum up history, now is the time to tie the tie right now.To avoid embarrassment, I said: "It's strange. The red scarf I wore when I was young will never be forgotten in my life, but the tie is also the result of the reform and opening up. I forget it in a blink of an eye." Hurry up, a young man finally came from the distribution department, raised his fingers and made it work.In this way, they took no trouble, turned me into a cadre, and appeared on the streets of Beijing with my tail up.

"Contemporary" is created and managed by a group of contemporary literati who don't know how to wear ties. The literati's habit of being out of shape, and his calm attitude in dealing with the world make him appear open and relaxed.You can see that he is dressed in a formal attire, but his neck is unrestricted, and he can yell whatever he wants.So there is a place for a rough, straightforward, and independent author like me.He also talked about ties. Literature in a suit and tie is too formal, like reciting on occasions; literature without a suit and tie is too casual, like a pig’s snout with onions, which is called an elephant by honest people; Literature seems to be just right—if you want avant-garde, it’s a pioneer of nostalgia; if you want fashion, it’s the accumulated fashion; if you want history, it’s the history that is needed at present; if you want culture, it’s the culture that can be published. This is probably the appearance of "Contemporary".Don't fall into the "permanent side" and don't fall into the "broken side". The middle way is the way of Buddha.

I like to be imprisoned in "Contemporary", and there is another meaning, that is, I am ashamed to see others.I can’t remember how many appointments and manuscripts I have avoided in these years. Every time I escaped successfully, I felt guilty.Think about those friends that I avoid, most of them also run magazines and publish. I am too inexperienced and write too slowly, so I can’t keep making wishes and not fulfilling them.If you want to be a trustworthy person, you have to not go to the banquet or make a wish. Honestly, if you have it, you have it, if you don’t, you don’t have it. If you make the first one, you will marry to the end.My friends, I have offended you. In this bleak and touching sincerity, your forgiveness and understanding are my sunshine.

On a certain day when I was imprisoned in "Contemporary", Changyi asked me about my future plans. I talked about Tsangyang Gyatso and about "termas", but at that time I was not sure that this must be my "next part". ".Changyi was very excited when he heard this, much more excited than I was. He talked about this topic all morning, and he was still talking about it when he took me to the airport after eating his boxed lunch.I wanted to write down our conversation, but didn't have the time, and when I got on the plane, I found that many details had disappeared with the excitement.But I know that I can no longer hesitate, that is the God King with invincible fragrance, the deceased singer - the sixth Dalai Lama, Tsangyang Gyatso, is already the master of my life, and the only thing I have to do is to focus on nothing else , concentrate on.

2 Tsangyang Gyatso and his love songs tempt me all the time, but this is not the whole reason for my writing, the more important reason is the increasingly serious spiritual conflict in the current life. Mental conflicts occur every day in the most violent ways, without us being aware of them.Interpersonal relationships drag us down with great power, forcing us to use the brightest eyes to detect the turbidest situations.Boring haunts, vulgar haunts, boring haunts.We die, the spirit dies long before the conflict.How many walking corpses and soulless bodies there are in this world, I dare not count, I will count myself in as soon as I count.Perhaps it was just so that I would not be counted when others were counting the walking dead, so I thought of Tsangyang Gyatso, and thought of "termas".

It is a book about man and soul.The soul is faith. I am a Buddhist and a theist, and this book is also a work expressing Buddhism.But I have no intention of advising everyone to convert to Buddhism, because I don't think that belief is equal to religion, and I don't think that converting to religion is equal to having faith.Converting to religion is looking for a group, and converting to faith is the real spiritual way out.The Buddha said that there are neither sentient beings nor Buddhas, as long as you accumulate virtue and do good deeds, you are a Buddha.As a human spiritual phenomenon including religion, faith first focuses on the purity and nobility of the human spirit. It is pious self-dedication rather than shameful self-interest at the expense of others. It is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness , Poverty, Temperance, Altruism, Salvation, Harmony, etc. and not the other way around.But in my eyes, faith is slipping downhill at an alarming speed, confusion and ignorance are becoming accomplices in killing life, the choking heat of explosives is consuming all the coolness, and people’s hearts have not turned back after walking into the night without hesitation. Welcome to Chao Tun and Yun Guang.

Without moral restraint, without conscience discovery, without God, without soul, without redemption, without domination, there will naturally be no honesty, tolerance, and kindness. It is even more difficult to be beautiful and be kind to others.When the worldwide spiritual crisis comes quickly, when countless people cannot use their faith to guarantee that they have souls, when the "bottom line" that has already sunk into the bottom of the abyss is still being trampled to pieces by us, I have found Practical reasons for writing. In the middle, I try to express such a belief-in fact, it is also a fact that it is never necessary for us to use hatred to eliminate hatred.The power of the world, the power that can shake us must be kindness and nobility, the thought of love.The least adulterated expression of faith is love.In the field of literature, those spiritual pursuits cultivated by suffering and transcending suffering must lead to the same goal as faith. Together, they form the most beautiful scenery of human beings, just like flowing rivers and verdant forests.Hugo told us: A perfect life is not a life without sins, but a life in which sins are repented and atonements are made.Dostoevsky used the proposition of "crime and punishment" to torture the soul of human beings wandering between good and evil, and then came to the conclusion: there is everything if there is love.But Tolstoy made us wake up: When the crisis of survival, unfair treatment, and the disparity between the rich and the poor have become a reality, the only thing that can save mankind is the love of everything, including the love of enemies.Death for love is rebirth, rebirth for hate is death.Love is emotional, spiritual, economical, political, the highest expression of politics: Gandhi's non-resistance was love, and he thus won an independent India.Martin Luther King's non-resistance is also love, so he realized a racial dream: equality.Mandela's non-resistance is more love. He let us see the breadth that politics can achieve and see a peaceful South Africa.

And Mother Teresa. 3 Mother Teresa is an Albanian. She came to India at the age of 18. What she does every day is to push a cart to pick up the dying patients and leftovers from garbage dumps, ditches, church doors, and steps of public buildings. , and dying old people, and then run around looking for food and medicine for them.Many people regarded her as a beggar and a lunatic, scolded her, beat her and drove her away.But when they saw her pick up a beggar whose leg was eaten by maggots from the gutter, when they saw her press her forehead to the face of a dying patient, when they saw her snatch it from a dog's mouth and still cry They were finally touched when they saw her hold the AIDS patient tightly in her arms.Most of the people she rescued were Hindus who had different beliefs from hers. She respected them and handled their funerals according to their beliefs.

The Sisters of Charity Missionary Society she founded has assets of more than 400 million US dollars, and the richest companies in the world are rushing to donate to her.But she stuck to poverty all her life.Her dwelling has only two electrical appliances: lights and a telephone.All her possessions are a statue of Jesus, three suits, and a pair of sandals.She tried to make herself poor, and her monks and sisters made themselves poor too.Because only in this way can the poor people they serve have a modicum of dignity.She believes that giving love and dignity is more important than giving food and clothes.

She has more than 600 branches in 127 countries around the world.She developed institutions with the fastest speed and the highest efficiency. In 1960 alone, 26 asylum centers and children's homes were built in India.But her headquarters consisted of only two nuns and an old-fashioned typewriter.Her office consisted of only a desk and a chair, and she always received visitors from all over the world at her workplace—slums, orphanages, hospice wards, leprosy hospitals, AIDS shelters, etc.Those who come to her service include bankers, big entrepreneurs, politicians, university presidents, college students, actors, models, rich ladies and so on.They traveled thousands of miles to come to Mother Teresa and did things they had never done before: wash dishes, dress the sick, feed water and food, wash clothes and deliver medicine, and carry corpses.Only later did I realize: "We have been avoiding the real poverty and misfortune of human beings. In fact, we have never really loved." The influence of Mother Teresa can make the two sides at war in the Balkan battlefield cease fire immediately. When she comes, love comes. , she wants to take women and children away from the hail of bullets.The sharp war suddenly had a soft lyric, and the guns waited until she and those rescued left. When Mother Teresa won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979, she walked up to the podium in a $1 Indian sari because she had nothing else to wear.She turned a blind eye to the jewels and prominent people in the audience, and said: "I personally don't deserve this honor. I accept the award on behalf of all the poor, sick and lonely people in the world. Because I believe that you are willing to use the award Give it to me and admit that the poor have dignity." When she knew that the banquet at the awards ceremony would cost seven thousand dollars, she begged the chairman to cancel the banquet.She said that you only entertained one hundred and thirty-five people with so much money, and this money is enough to feed fifteen thousand poor people for a day.The banquet was canceled and Mother Teresa got the money.At the same time, she also received a donation of 400,000 Swiss coins after being moved by her words.She lived in the name of the poor all her life, and never wore clothes beyond the meaning of covering the body to keep out the cold, because there are still many people in the world who cannot afford clothes.As soon as she got the Nobel Peace Prize medal, she asked where she could sell it, because what the poor need is not medals but food and clothing. After Mother Teresa died, Indians said, "Our mother died." Everyone knelt down, including the Prime Minister of India.When the body passed through the street, the people upstairs on both sides ran down because no one dared to stand taller than her, no matter the dignitaries or the common people.The Prime Minister of India said: "She is a rare angel of mercy, a symbol of light and hope. She wiped away the tears of suffering of thousands of people, and she brought honor to the world." Inherent sins of human beings: greed, hypocrisy , pleasure, pride, vanity, etc., there is no trace of Mother Teresa, there is only a famous saying that she pursued all her life: "Love one another." I told the story of Mother Teresa to a lama, and the lama said: "You don't know, the nun you are talking about is the reincarnation of Avalokiteshvara." The seven gates are the gates of practice. I hope that there will be more "Bodhisattvas reincarnated" who will walk out of the palace and benefit the common people. 4 Human nature is the embodiment of human morality and sociality. Letting Buddhism shine with the light of human nature is the only way for modern Buddhism to promote itself.Therefore, I have been searching, hoping that there is a spiritual pillar to transform the world instead of joining the world, to wash away the sins instead of recreating them, and to stand up soberly and vigorously from the muddy and blind faith.Although it was not found, there was Xiguang after all.That is Cangyang Gyatso, it is Cangyang Gyatso's boundless love of death rather than death of the body, his natural Buddha nature of sacrificing himself to eliminate new and old hatred, and his warm love to the cold world with pure love and fraternity Embracing is the effort provided by "Terma" to us to move towards the infinite possibility of the sublime and to recreate the soul.It became "The Gate of Seven Tara" in my novel. "Fu Zang" is to bury beliefs or scriptures, so that believers after thousands of years can discover them and become contemporary spiritual resources. "Earth terma" is the terma buried in rocks, lakes, and temples, and "mind terma" is the terma buried in the soul, heart and consciousness of future generations.After bidding farewell to the "Tibetan Mastiff Trilogy" at the end of 2007, I devoted myself to it intermittently for more than two years.I thought it was a kind of excavation. Zhou Changyi, the editor-in-charge, discovered the treasures of ancestors or sages in the depths of my heart with the persistence and enthusiasm of a treasurer. The eight-thousand-word advice, the three-hour phone calls from home at night, and the emails he "woke up in the middle of the night" and "suddenly enlightened" were like enlightenment, arousing my stupidity, but also seeming to be strong The scriptures and mantras always make my spirit strong all the time.When I finished it, I found that it was the longest novel I have written so far.It takes a long time because it is difficult to write. The most difficult thing is that I have to think about the codes of religious culture with the characters in the work, and experience the dangers and horrors and all the unknowns together. I don’t know how to take the next step at almost every step. It wasn't until I wrote the ending that I suddenly realized: It turned out to be like this. As I write this, I think of the tie again.When it was published, I still couldn't play it.This shows that my life is the same as before, I don't like entertainment, I don't like meetings, I don't like social activities, I don't like lively occasions.No occasional articles, no public figures - it is very unfortunate to be recognized by people walking on the street, and suddenly alienate myself on a distant light hill without weeds, and I always thought it was ordinary, plain, and peaceful , Calm is the best state. ——I am grass, a flowerless grass swaying in the wind, and a weed at that.Lonely clouds and wild cranes, Lao Tzu whirling, independent and clean in the loneliness, beauty and clumsiness, lingering with the world that only belongs to them, singing and crying.I can only apologize to my friends for their past and future invitations, and for my past and future refusals, and I sincerely bow, and only hope that they will be more satisfied because of my absence. Finally, I would like to solemnly thank the teachers who gave me knowledge resources and ideological resources: Yu Daoquan, Zeng Yan, Ya Hanzhang, Ge Sangla, Li Xueqin, Liu Jiaju, Liu Xiwu, Wang Yinnuan, Suolang Gyatso, Zhou Liangpei, Huang Hao, Wu Biyun, Pan Zhichang, He Xuntian, Chen Qingying, Jiang Daren, Duan Baolin, Mao Jizu, Yu Naichang, Wang Zhenhua, Hu Bingzhi, Yang Enhong, etc., are the inspiration for my writing.Among them, the 124 love songs of Tsangyang Gyatso collected and translated by Teacher Zhuang Jing have become the main blueprint for my appreciation, study, reference, and citation because they exceed others in number.What is especially important is that Mr. Norbu Wangden, a famous Tibetologist who has benefited me a lot from his work, "studied carefully and carefully" the book for a long time in addition to his busy scientific research and teaching, and finally Gave me encouragement and made comments in a "prudent manner", and these pertinent comments became the final revision.It can be said that without the "prophecy" of the above teachers, there would be no mine.Thanks again.In addition, at the end of the novel, I quoted "That Day, I Listened to Fanbai All Night", which is being copied by many people. This is a modern version of the love song of Tsangyang Gyatso. The heartfelt prayers that I have passed on - I wish my friends all the best, and I wish everyone good luck. Yang Zhijun February 28, 2010 at Qingdao Changchunzhai