Chapter 26 Chapter 26 Ending
A year later, in a mental hospital, the weather is fine.
Mai Yuxiang and Wen Miao followed the mustache doctor all the way into the office. While walking, the mustache doctor introduced Xia Xiaoyu's condition to the two people behind him.
He said: "Xia Xiaoyu may be the strangest patient in our hospital. She is very quiet and has no special symptoms except that she doesn't want to see people. But every night, she starts talking to herself in two different voices. It's like a pair of sisters having a conversation. Come and see—"
The mustache doctor went to a bookshelf in the office, took down a folder, went to the desk and opened it. There were some laboratory documents and X-rays in it. He continued: "This is her latest test report a few days ago. , we can clearly see from this light film that a brain tumor was born on her brain, and the area oppressed by the brain tumor is the sensory nerve center of the brain, controlling hearing, vision, taste, and even vocalization The centers are all here, which means that Xiaoyu's sensory system will inevitably be affected."
The doctor turned his head and looked at Mai Yuxiang, and said: "The recording you sent last week, after analysis by the hospital, it was basically determined to be Xia Xiaoyu. The sound, this sound is very strange, the strange thing is that even those who hear it can easily be induced by it to hallucinate, and may even lose control of self-consciousness, I agree with your statement that the sound hypnotizes you."
Wen Miao asked, "Did she mention Xia Xue again?"
The mustache doctor thought for a while and said, "No."
Mai Yuxiang and Wen Miao followed the doctor to Xia Xiaoyu's ward. She was sitting quietly on the bed in a hospital gown, wondering what she was thinking...
On the suburban road, the silver car was already on its way back.
In the car, Mai Yuxiang was driving, and Wen Miao was sitting beside him.
Wen Miao said, "I still don't understand a lot."
Mai Yuxiang smiled and asked, "Really? What is it?"
Wen Miao asked: "Why can't I dream of that woman in white now?"
Mai Yuxiang smiled and said, "Do you still miss her very much?"
Wen Miao blushed and said, "Of course not, it's just, why did she disappear? If Xia Xiaoyu and I were connected because of her heart, then the two of us are still there now?"
Mai Yuxiang thought for a while and said: "In the past, it might be because you always met Xia Xiaoyu when you went to the hospital for review every month. Are their sisters connected with each other, now? I'm not sure if you will see each other at night after you meet again today. Another nightmare. But there is another possibility, that maybe the resentful heart of the 'White Woman' has finally calmed down, so you will never dream of her again."
Wen Miao couldn't help but put her hands on her chest, and said with a smile, "I hope so."
Both sides of the road are green and the scenery is beautiful.
The silver car drove further and further away.
(Finish)
Extra: "Legends I Heard"
"Just love someone. When you are in love, you think about him, and you will care about everything about him, but after this period of time, all the hearts and things you have done have become a thing of the past. What can I do? What can I do? It’s not the same life, I’m actually different from you, I’m a girl, Li Yu, although you also have a feminine name.”
This is what Wu Xinyao said after a long narration on a rainy night. She fell out of love that night, and Mai Yuxiang finally abandoned her. This seems to me to be playing with all the boys. The legendary girl made me feel particularly tender that day.Although I didn't quite understand the specific meaning that she was different from me because she was a girl, but I didn't ask any more questions. After all, what Wu Xinyao needed was a listener that night, and I was that listener tonight .
But I never imagined that it would be the last time we met, and she passed away just one year later. In the frightening hospital in the legend, she became one of the protagonists of that horror story. one.But in my heart, she is actually different. I liked her, so I decided to write something to commemorate her.She has always been a legend in my heart.
The reason why Wu Xinyao is a legend is because it is said that she already had the charm to lure two little kids to fight for her in kindergarten. Of course, the legends on campus cannot be believed. For example, a classmate of mine was once raped by social The gangsters were beaten and injured in a group and were hospitalized with bloody head. After a period of time, it was rumored that it turned out to be——"Iron-blooded boy fighting a pack of wolves."The campus is rich in talents who are good at gossip, and these people have the ability to turn decay into magic.
And my dear classmate Wu Xinyao already had her own paparazzi when she was in high school, and regularly spread her pornographic news to the school, for example, she and Mai Yuxiang kissed once in a certain place on a certain day of a certain year.What was said was evocative and exciting, which was unbearable to the ear. Of course, this kind of thing was really enviable to me at the time.
Mai Yuxiang was the man of the hour in our key high school at that time, that is to say, if his grades were good to a certain extent, that is, if he walked in the front, there would be many girls who sucked their fingers and muttered quietly behind him.Mai Yuxiang is such a character, what is especially rare is that Mai Yuxiang was born with a pretty face, I said this out of jealousy, but there is really nothing to do about appearance, especially in the group of seventeen or eighteen-year-old children On campus, appearance is a very important thing. If you have strong academic performance, if you are the chairman of the student union, and if you are the editor-in-chief of the school magazine, then there is nothing you can do about it. No matter what he said, the paparazzi are still happy to associate Wu Xinyao with him.For a while, I worked very hard to replace it or even share it. However, after becoming the editor of the school magazine and the deputy monitor of our class, there was no progress. .
In fact, at that time, it was said that Wu Xinyao had many boyfriends, such as Mai Yuxiang, a basketball player, a gangster, and a "social youth". For a while, it was even rumored that it was me.After a long time, when someone asked about this matter, I always pretended to smile mysteriously without answering, neither admitting nor denying it.
Knowing Wu Xinyao was really by chance, of course, any chance has some inevitability, just like Wu Xinyao and I.As I said, I was the deputy monitor of the class at that time, and I was also in charge of the discipline of the class, and of course I helped the students to get letters from the mailbox.According to the practice of our school, the school class health inspection work of each study week is in charge of a class cadre transferred from a class, and I am the class cadre transferred from our class. Of course, I have the right to find a few classmates during the inspection. As a subordinate, for example Xu Chenchen, who is a disciplinary committee member, naturally became my subordinate. She is a nice girl, but we don’t know each other very well, probably because I am rather dull, and it is not easy for people to feel get along.That was the first job I got after I won many votes and was elected as the deputy monitor after an impassioned speech shortly after the beginning of school, so although I usually behave rather dullly, I can still speak when needed. Of course, everyone is willing to vote for me The more likely reason for the vote is that I wear glasses with a square frame and large lenses, which makes people feel more honest and trustworthy.But no matter what, I decided to finish my first job well, because this was the first time I saw Wu Xinyao, of course I didn’t know it at that time, in fact, I had already communicated with Wu Xinyao before, and Wu Xinyao had already Knowing me, now that I think about it, it is a memorable thing after all.
I said that I am a dull person, so although I prefer to add "on the surface" when talking about the word "stubborn", at least I was more introverted then than I am now, and most of the things about Wu Xinyao were overheard , I never inquired about anything on purpose, I didn't know which class she was in, and I didn't sneak a look at this legendary school girl like many boys did at that time. I just occasionally imagined how amazing she would be out of curiosity. Beautiful, so many brothers covet, so many sisters gnash their teeth.So when I saw Wu Xinyao for the first time that day, I didn't realize that it was the first time I saw this legendary woman. It was also because I was busy checking the duty status of the class. It means that when I am doing something seriously, I don’t call on even the most beautiful things. I find that I am really guilty of talking so much.
That day I found that the class was obviously not cleaned seriously, and I even asked me to check large garbage such as ice cream wrappers at the back of the classroom. I made up my mind to deduct points for this class. Stop: "Hey, buddy, call that person out for me." As we all know, the door of the class is a place where an outsider who wants to find someone in the class often asks a classmate to help call out the person he is looking for. "Which one?" ?” Since I was full of ambition that day, I didn’t refuse. "That's right, the one on the right in the middle of the third row who is reading English." I followed his fingers and looked back, and sure enough, I saw a beautiful woman with soft hair just covering her neck, because she was reading a book with her head down, her hair slightly Hanging down, only her beautiful chin and the tip of her nose can be seen from a distance.
"Hey, someone is looking for it." Out of shyness, I didn't look at her directly, but looked at her desk. There was an English textbook on it. The left page of the book was pressed by a long white and slender hand that was obviously soft and warm. , next to it is a copy of "Angel Sanctuary", "Oh, hey! You are not from our class, are you? Are you looking for me?" She had obviously stood up, and I smelled a scent, and I was very nervous for a while: "No , outside", I pointed and hurried out, that's how I am, because I don't talk to girls very much, and I would be nervous to speak up occasionally, especially when I met a beautiful woman today.Out of curiosity, I glanced at the boy standing at the door. He was one block taller than me, and he was not ugly, but he was standing with his legs apart, with a wicked smile, and he looked very DIAO, and he was also full of doubts. looked at me.I think it's probably her boyfriend. Girls nowadays have a problem with their aesthetics. Beautiful girls are spoiled by this kind of bad guys who are misunderstood as cool boys.This directly caused a good boy like me, Mai Yuxiang, to never have a girlfriend!Of course, I often comfort myself: it’s not because you are bad, and you are here to take the university entrance examination, so there is no need to worry about these things, what belongs to you will always belong to you, there is no need to force anything.
Time passed quickly, two weeks passed, my life went on insipidly, coping with homework, as one of the editors of the school magazine, I edited a column called "Campus Stories", and one of my great pleasures was to have the opportunity to At the weekly regular meeting of the school literature club, some contributions from young literary youths in the school who are unwilling to be lonely are brought back and screened. If it is good, it will be handed over to the teacher of the language group at the next regular meeting. If it is not good, it will write a comment and return it to the The mailbox of the classmate's class.In fact, I am also one of the literary youths in the school who are unwilling to be lonely, and I am obviously a literary youth who is lonely to a certain extent, because I seem to write more than anyone else, which is why our Chinese teacher chose me to join the school’s literary club. While reading the articles that are occasionally circulated among classmates are actually moaning without illness.I also occasionally listen to the latest reports about Wu Xinyao, such as what she did to empathize with her other lovers and cheat on her.
It is said that Wu Xinyao had a hot fight with a well-known gangster named Du Shengsheng. Du Shengsheng was very poor and very bad. It is said that Du Shengsheng's brother was sentenced to prison for stealing things from the supermarket. Labor reform, and this turned out to be Du Shengsheng's rampant capital in the school. To be honest, I really look down on this kind of person. At least one of his happiness is based on the pain of his brother. I really can't understand how Wu Xinyao would Seeing such a person, maybe she wants to change her taste. A woman's heart is really unpredictable. This is really a great pain for me as a man.But sometimes this also becomes the material for my writing, and I can expand my imagination as much as possible. After I went to college, in retrospect, it was a good preparation and practice for me to write scripts in the future.
In my novels, I always used to portray Wu Xinyao as an extremely femme fatale.She is either a famous courtesan who was popular on both sides of the Qinhuai River in the Ming Dynasty, or a spoiled young lady from a wealthy family in the Republic of China. Of course, the image that most often appears in my novels is a key high school girl, pure and beautiful, but because of family reasons or childhood. The shadow of pain has become a bad girl who is so romantic that she wants to break the hearts of men all over the world.In fact, because I am relatively dull and introverted, I don’t get in touch with many girls. Most of this comes from my assumptions about girls after reading countless books. In addition, the education I received since I was a child made me regard love before college as a relationship with academic performance. Raising is the complete opposite of things, so girls are pretty scary to me.In fact, you can also think that this was a way for me to vent my loneliness at that time. After all, I, Li Yu, was also an adolescent boy, and my normal needs were obviously suppressed.
"Li Yu, someone is looking for you. At the door, Wu Xinyao is looking for you." At that time, I was sleeping on the table, which was my way of resting between classes.Because there are very few people looking for me at ordinary times, suddenly someone looking for me made my heart convulse abnormally, what?It was still Wu Xinyao, I subconsciously thought that I had fallen into my own novel before I woke up from the dream.
"Why is she looking for me? Chenchen"
"Bah bah, Xu Chenchen, treat me like a little girl, ask yourself, I don't know." Xu Chenchen walked out writhing.
"That's it!" I walked outside and noticed that there were whispers in the four or five rows centered on the door, and there was a lot of commotion when I arrived, the crowd was really ugly.At this time, I saw two girls waiting at the door, one of them was Xu Chenchen, who we like to punctuate sentences, and the other needless to say——
"Angel Sanctuary", it turned out to be her, which shows that my memory is good. This time I have the opportunity to take a closer look at this beautiful girl. Wu Xinyao's clothes are very simple, because it is almost early autumn, and she is wearing a dark one. The jeans made her slender legs more beautiful, and she wore a loose school uniform on her upper body to hide her exquisite figure, but the pull cord of the school uniform was pulled down, revealing the lavender long-sleeved T-shirt inside. T-shirt, uneven... His hands were casually inserted in his pockets, and he was talking to Xu Chenchen next to him. The fact is that, most girls in their youth like to have two or three close friends in their boudoirs, who are inseparable, but it is very difficult for boys. It is easy to be divided into priorities, it is clear at a glance who is the lady and who is the maid, and the same sentence: There is really no way to do it, although Xu Chenchen is also very good-looking, but standing with Wu Xinyao is a lot eclipsed.Wu Xinyao didn't seem to mind that I observed her unreasonably, I think it was probably because she had seen too much.She casually tossed her hair lightly, turned her head and glanced at me in slow motion, and blinked her charming big eyes full of electricity, fresh and natural as hell, and my face was in stark contrast But like the Tang poem "Frost leaves are red in February flowers", after all, beauty needs to be set off. If the close friend Xu Chenchen in the boudoir loses a lot of color next to Wu Xinyao, then I will be completely depressed, I subconsciously I stretched out my hand to stroke the hair that was pushed up when I was sleeping just now, and turned my face away. After all, I am a man, and men take face very seriously.What is she looking for me for?Settle accounts with me?Impossible, I didn't use her name in the novel!There should be no flaws... At this time, I have already walked in front of her and smelled the faint fragrance.
"Are you the disciplinary committee member of your class?"
"Oh, yes, no, she is" I pointed to Xu Chenchen.
"Someone poured water downstairs from the window, and it splashed our classmates, so don't you care?" Wu Xinyao continued to look at me and said.
"Really? No way, no, actually...I was sleeping just now." The sudden appearance of this legendary figure and the queen heroine in my fantasy obviously made me very at a loss, and made me I'm a little guilty, and it's not a good feeling.
"Why not, you go and ask, oh, go quickly"
I have to say, Wu Xinyao even looks so pretty when she is angry.But I feel that my self-esteem has been hurt, it's still the same sentence: Men need face very much.But can you say no to such a beautiful woman?If you say yes, I will give a thumbs up and say: You are strong.I obediently went to the back and asked who was pouring the water, but everyone was more interested in the relationship between that beautiful girl and me, and obviously many people recognized Wu Xinyao, and besides showing me the well-known general expression "So you guys "…I don't really bring it up", except for the kind of smile that meant it, I don't know anything about other things.My head was a little swollen, and I was vaguely happy. After all, this kind of misunderstanding is very useful, but I still have self-knowledge, which is more painful.I went back to Wu Xinyao, looked at her beautiful face hard, and felt that she was taller than me. In fact, after we got close, I realized that I was taller than Wu Xinyao. I don’t know why I always feel that I am taller than Wu Xinyao. Like to wear high-soled shoes Wu Xinyao is always taller than me.
"No question," I said firmly.
"What's your name? Hey, Xu Chenchen, what's his name?"
"Li Yu, what's your name? Tell me quickly"
"I am Li Yu", this is how I answer or introduce myself, I am Li Yu, not my name is Li Yu.I thought to myself, Xu Chenchen, you are really a maid.
"Li Yu, ask again, come to study next night, my class will look for me, otherwise I will deduct points from your class, let's go, Xu Chenchen, bye"
Sure enough, I thought, for the remaining two classes, I was thinking about how to meet Wu Xinyao, at least not to be too timid, I am a man, and men need to save face.But being summoned by this legendary beauty is something to be happy about. After all, she is also an inter-school beauty, and I am at most a class grass.My imagination was stimulated, and my talent was helpless. I thought, Wu Xinyao came to see me this time, it was definitely not by accident, otherwise why did she take the initiative to ask me to find her after school?Maybe she has been paying attention to me for a long time. Could it be that she has fallen in love with me since the encounter, and she didn't think of this opportunity to know me until it was their turn to be on duty today. I tried to recall how handsome I was that day. Handsome, I thought maybe she is just like the legend about her, liking the new and loathing the old, romantic, because I heard that I am outstanding in learning, so she intends to seduce me?Or maybe... I don't know what she will say to me after school...
But it turns out that I'm really not a person who is good at guessing my heart, especially a girl's heart.
After school, I was standing at the door of Wu Xinyao's class downstairs. At this time, a large number of students poured out, and I felt like a complete idiot.At this time, our beautiful classmate Wu Xinyao came here, obviously she had seen me a long time ago.
"You're here, did you ask?"
"No, I'm sorry"
"It's okay." Wu Xinyao patted me on the shoulder, as if I was her younger brother, "It won't be allowed in the future, I won't deduct points from your class, don't worry, let's go"
"Oh"
I was dismissed so easily.I thought it was just a simple incident, but seeing Wu Xinyao this time was just an accidental event in my life, the reason why I care so much, do I care so much?Maybe, it's just because she is Wu Xinyao, and she has heard too many legends about her, so she naturally feels special, and in the future, she will continue her legend, and I will continue to write my novels, we are like two straight lines , although they met by chance, but there will never be a focus in the future, don't think about anything, it's impossible, it will only happen in novels, and a little loss spreads in my heart.
I could not have been more wrong.
I am used to doing self-study in the class at noon. There are very few people in the class at this time. I like the situation that there are few people in the class. I feel very free. I can read books or do questions or do nothing. It’s just so quiet. Staying quietly, thinking about my own future, conceiving my novel.When the class is full of people, it always makes me feel too noisy. More importantly, I am not very good at interacting with others. I feel very lonely amidst the lively conversation and fights between classes.At noon, there is another person who is often there, that is, Xu Chenchen. She is obviously not because she likes to be alone. In my opinion, she is really a child who loves to learn, and the ability to chat and laugh with classmates easily makes me happy. Also very envious.But although we have so much time alone together, we don't talk much, I think it's probably because I'm too rigid.At noon on the second day when I met Wu Xinyao, I returned to the classroom after eating in the cafeteria as usual, but unexpectedly found that there was one more person, you guessed it right, it was Wu Xinyao.I was thinking about it for a while, I am always good at associating, or the same sentence: Talent is something you can’t help, otherwise you wouldn’t be a prolific novelist. Of course, it’s a bit exaggerated to say that. I'm rather boring, I usually talk less and write more, so Wu Xinyao is really interested in me, isn't it?Then why did she show up again today? Yesterday's matter has been resolved, so people can't come to find their classmates?It was obvious that she and Xu Chenchen were very good friends, but why didn't she just stay there?My intuition told me that something was going to happen. Later, recalling this past, Wu Xinyao told me: Intuition is something that is easy to make mistakes...but nothing happened one day, and I was a little disappointed. The next day, I saw Wu Xinyao again. , sitting on the seat next to Xu Chenchen like yesterday, reading a book or sleeping for a while, and it was still the same on the third day. Occasionally, I couldn't help but look curiously at her sitting in front. I really wanted to do something, go over and say something, after all We know each other. After all, she is a girl, maybe she is shy and takes the initiative to speak up. Why can't I take the initiative?But I really can't think of what I can do, what I can say to others, and can we be considered acquaintances?And based on my short contact with her, my intuition tells me that Wu Xinyao is definitely not that kind of shy girl, and if people ignore me, it would be embarrassing. After all, I am a man, and men love face... Thinking If I want to go, I can only stay by myself. This is obviously the safest way I thought at the time. If she Wu Xinyao really... It's better for her to speak first, and then, oops, I'm still... Then What should I do if it affects learning?A week passed like this, and I still couldn't understand why she came every day, and I continued to think wildly.Occasionally lying on the table to sleep for a while, I always dreamed that Wu Xinyao would suddenly sit in front of me, smiling nicely, and pointing at me with her beautiful fingers: Are you Li Yu from your class?Go ask me, is there someone who likes me?When she woke up, Wu Xinyao was clearly still sitting in front with Xu Chenchen.
Everything was still the same on this day, I went to this toilet halfway, and when I returned to the class, Xu Chenchen and Wu Xinyao seemed to be talking about something interesting, whispering and laughing, out of curiosity I paid attention to what they were talking about The thing is a thick hardcover book, very familiar - it turned out to be my weekly diary book, in fact, I said that my writing is often borrowed, and Xu Chenchen is one of my loyal readers, but I saw it arrived. Wu Xinyao's hands were still very shy, and her face was also red, as if she had confirmed the reason why Wu Xinyao came here every day, could it be because of this?It also seems to make sense that there is indeed a sentimental girl in the novel who falls in love with its author because of a touching essay, even though the author may not be very good.But it is a novel after all, although I like to read those things and am willing to make them up, but I don’t believe in those so-called romances, because I always think that those romantic things are just the hunger of the authors because they can’t get them in reality. My thirst was satisfied, and I lost my mind again. It is really impossible to be good at associating.
"Hey, novelist, come here? I study here with you every day. I don't care. The lover of my dream has been here for several days. You still sit in meditation every day like a Tang monk, and come to say hello. Are you going to die?" Xu Chenchen said to me, I was overwhelmed with complicated emotions, could it be that Wu Xinyao finally couldn't bear it anymore?I saw Wu Xinyao staring at me with her beautiful eyes, but I couldn't understand the meaning, so I nodded my head embarrassedly.
"You wrote this? Li Yu," Wu Xinyao said.
"Yes indeed?"
"Are we familiar with each other?" Wu Xinyao still looked at me maliciously, and I was suddenly in a fog, not knowing what she meant.
"Not too familiar." I said hesitantly.
"Hehe" Wu Xinyao actually smiled, what does this smile mean?A woman's heart is really unpredictable, this is really my pain as a man, Wu Xinyao continued: "Then why did you write my name in two places in your novel?" I think I must have blushed at that time It must be purple, otherwise why do I feel that my face is burning and my head is so dizzy?
"No way" I quibbled, thinking to myself, Li Yu, why are you so careless?
"Are you still making excuses?" Wu Xinyao immediately exposed me.
"Isn't it, on purpose, just tell me if you have a crush on someone? Novelist." Xu Chenchen added insult to injury.
I was nervous and speechless again, reached for the notebook, held back for a long time and said: "I'm sorry, I'll change it, I'll change it", and then I immediately heard the presumptuous but pleasant laughter of the two girls, I really wanted to immediately Legislate against girls across the country laughing like that in front of me, because it makes me dizzy even more.
"No need, the writing is actually pretty good, no wonder it's so classic to write a review for others, you deserve to be our great editor!", Wu Xinyao said sincerely.Then she stood up with a lively jump, and said in a half-joking tone:
"I should go, Xu Chenchen, bye, Li Yu, novelist, you have to continue writing, I want to read, I will take this book with me first, and I will return it to you in the afternoon." After she finished speaking, she smiled at me, which made me I was immersed in silly happiness for the rest of the afternoon.However, Wu Xinyao did not come as scheduled in the afternoon, but I met another legendary figure—Du Shengsheng.When someone told me that Du Shengsheng was looking for me outside, I couldn't make up my mind at all, because I didn't know him at all, and I believed that nothing would cause me to withdraw from this kind of person.
Du Shengsheng is tall and burly, like all villains, standing there with his legs spread apart, looking very diao, followed by two cronies, seeing me coming out, he smiled evilly: "You are Li Yu That’s right, we’ve met before, and that day I felt that you’re kind, come on, brother, let’s discuss something.” After speaking, they dragged me to the toilet. As we all know, the school’s toilets are always used by certain people to solve problems But I never thought that I was lucky enough to experience it that day. I really want to shout: What do you want to do?But to be honest, looking at their situation, I was a little afraid of them, so I went obediently, but I really didn't remember where I saw this little bastard that day. What else can I call a kid?I clearly remember that it was a cloudy day, and Du Shengsheng lit a cigarette in the toilet, puffs of smoke rose, and he smiled evilly in the smoke, and said, "I'm sorry, buddy, are you very diao?", I really didn't understand the meaning of their words, maybe their expressions were a bit silly, Du Shengsheng turned around and exchanged smiles with his two brothers, which made me feel creepy.Du Shengsheng tapped my chest with his right hand, and said, "Your mother, don't pretend to be a good student with me, you've touched my asshole, what the hell are you pretending to be? Wu Xinyao said you were molesting—" I was punched hard in the chest—"she"—Du Shengsheng said the last word.The two accomplices behind him laughed cooperatively, and Du Shengsheng thought he was handsome and waved his hand to signal them to be quiet.Apparently today's punks have learned a lot from bad Hong Kong films.The bastard Du Shengsheng spoke again: "Recently, my buddy is short of money, so I borrowed thirty from you, and that's all—" the bastard said while patting his dirty hand on my face— - "Forget it" - I was slapped heavily on the left side of the face, and with a burst of burning pain, my tongue tasted a little salty, and my glasses were tilted to the side. I think my face must be It's swollen, I understand everything now, and I'm completely stunned by this villain, all I can think of is to give him the money and watch them walk away.It was really a grief and indignation in my heart.
When the evening self-study was about to start class, I was dazed in the corridor outside. It was almost dark and there were no stars.Thinking about what happened today, I can't calm down. The rumors are true, I'm unlucky, Wu Xinyao is a confidante... Just thinking about it, I didn't expect that classmate Wu Xinyao, a confidante, began to hit me on the head.
"I'm thinking about it again? Or wait for me? Return your notebook. We can discuss it when we have a chance." Our Wu Xinyao is still so beautiful. She changed into a light-colored shirt and tied a simple ponytail. , with a sweet smile, is definitely a boy killer, but at the moment, as the boy who was hunted down, I was full of grief and anger, looking at her coldly, Wu Xinyao's smile seemed to fade away, but recovered immediately .
"I'm sorry I'm a bit late, but, who told you to write so much?" Wu Xinyao said humorously, then flashed her eyes full of electricity and looked forward to me. Maybe she thought it was predictable or shy or Silly laughter, very cute expression, I have to admit, but the cuter she is, the more disgusting I find her face, because I feel strongly that I have finally seen her true face.
"You-can-really-enough-sexy" I squeezed these words through my teeth.
Then, I immediately saw the lethality of my words on Wu Xinyao's face, and her smile disappeared instantly:
"Li Yu, what did you say? How did you offend me?"
"Okay," I took my weekly diary: "You and Du Shengsheng are a good match, isn't 30 a little less, not enough to get a room at night? Please forgive me." I said abnormally calmly At this time, Wu Xinyao's face had turned pale.
I felt a strong pleasure after revenge. Although I was still faintly worried that I would be retaliated by Du Shengsheng, but the words had already been spoken, and I was not afraid of anything. If the little bastard came again, I would definitely beat him up. Fight back.I raised my hand to deliberately push Wu Xinyao, and then go back to class, but before I could touch her, the girl was crying, and I covered my mouth tenderly and ran downstairs.I suddenly felt disgusted, no matter what, Wu Xinyao is a girl after all, a cute girl made of water, what is it if I follow such a girl to carry out verbal violence?Or maybe it's none of her business. After returning to the class, I was full of emptiness like all the avengers who took revenge. There was a huge boredom in my heart, and I felt a little guilty!I'm really a gentle person, not like a man, but I immediately comforted myself: This shows that you are kind on the other hand.But the question is, why in this world, kind people are always bullied?
That night during the break between self-study classes, I went for a run on the playground to vent my emotions. I didn’t expect to see Wu Xinyao and Du Shengsheng together. It also disappeared without a trace in an instant.I couldn't sleep at night. I thought about two things: Du Shengsheng is really an asshole; Wu Xinyao is really a prostitute.After I fell asleep, I had a dream. In the dream, a man with the appearance of a scholar was teased by a seductive brothel woman, and then they rolled together, but just as they were fighting, the door was suddenly knocked open Now, a vicious man appeared in front of this pair of "dogs and men and women", yelling at him to catch the adulterer on the bed, take the adulterer, take the double, what do you adulterers and prostitutes have to say... The next day, I was not in the mood to eat, I just stayed there In the classroom, after all, my parents are not rich or rich. When I think of the 30 yuan, I feel very sad. They work hard, fight for so much money, and set aside part of it to support their son. How difficult is it?Of course, it’s a bit sensational for me to say this, but it’s not easy for me to think about it. In addition to living on campus to cope with three meals a day on weekdays, I also need to use the poor money saved to maintain some personal hobbies. For example, if I love literature, I will I often go to the bookstall to look around, buy a magazine or something, and send a registered letter to a certain publishing house after writing something, hoping to publish it, become famous or something.而现在那三十块钱却变成了杜生生那混蛋的红塔山或者青岛啤酒，而这一切都因为认识了吴欣瑶这个妖精一样的女人。而这天中午妖精女人吴欣瑶没有来，我想大约是心虚了吧，想完又觉得自己很好笑，反正他们已经勒索完毕了，她还来干什么呢？我无精打采的翻开自己的周记本子，觉得可以很好地再创作一篇以吴欣瑶为原型的小说，我恶狠狠的想：吴欣瑶，你个妖精，虽然我惹不起你，可是在我的小说里，我保证，你死定了，可是我翻了一下我的本子，并没有看到那里写着吴欣瑶的名字！那她为什么那么说呢？
“李雨”
徐晨晨那丫鬟不知道什么时候坐在了我前面的座位上，恨屋及乌，徐晨晨在我看来也没从前可爱了，毕竟她是那妖精的朋友，而且从某种意义上说，是她让我们认识的，然后害我损失了三十块钱。
“干啥？”我没好气。
“李雨，跟你说个事儿。”徐晨晨很理解似的说。
而我这个人是最最没什么脾气的了，尤其又不关人家的事，“说，心情不好？”
“这是你的三十块钱，吴欣瑶今天不过来了，她让我给你说对不起。”
事实再次证明我的确有点木讷，竟然又不知道该说什么好，这代表什么？conspiracy?良心发现？为什么要还给我，然而另一个念头让我登时脸就红了，“你怎么知道的？不是，为什么还给我？”毕竟这实在不是什么光彩的事，毕竟男人是很爱面子的。
“吴欣瑶告诉我的，这都不明白，猪脑子！”徐晨晨好像有点生气但脸上又还带着笑，这含义就丰富了，尤其她最后还用了“猪脑子”这个词，众所周知，这个词是跟诸如“傻样儿”这样的词汇有异曲同工之妙的，难道吴欣瑶真地对我有意思？杜生生来打劫我真的不干她的事，只是杜生生向她炫耀的时候她才知道得？于是因为喜欢我所以给我打抱不平？虽然这么想，但是出于维护尊严的考虑，我没有拿那张钱，其实我得承认我很想拿回来。
“徐晨晨，你把我弄糊涂了，她啥意思？人也打了，钱也敲了，又来装好人么？？她算什么好人，跟杜生生那样的人做朋友，还有那么多传言，啊？我就不说了，你是好学生，最好也少跟她在一块，钱我不要了，你拿给她吧，说不定她还可以跟她的杜生生来个烛光晚餐什么的”，原来我也可以讲出这么刻薄的话。
“不要拉倒，我以为一是个聪明人呢”徐晨晨明显真的生气了，“李雨，你也是大俗人一个，我和吴欣瑶都看错你了，还以为你与众不同，其实你跟他们那些人一样，道听途说，你看见过么？你有证据么？好心好意，你就这样？你有钱啊，不要拉倒”
我本来心情就很糟，听见又有人教训我，我也烦了，“你走吧甭理我，我要学习了，”我动用了全部的自制力才把那个“你给我滚”换成“你走吧”。
“哎？李雨，你跟我牛什么呀？昨天被叫到厕所挨揍的时候你怎么不牛？我走？我为什么听你的？大班长，现在是中午，不是在上课啊，哼！你就一个人闷着吧，你这人也真够闷的，成天就这么坐着，你能知道什么呀？吴欣瑶和杜生生根本不是那个，她也绝不是你想的那样”“哪，我……跟我……”其实我想说“那跟我有什么关系”可是我一着急给结巴了，而徐晨晨语速太快也容不得我插嘴“你知道吗，是杜生生老缠着她，吴欣瑶根本就不愿理他，杜生生这个王八蛋就到处散布吴欣瑶的谣言，他朋友多，结果越传越恶心，其实，你知道，吴欣瑶是个多好的女孩么！”
“她是什么样的女孩跟我有什么关系？”我终于插上一句，这说明我是很自私的，我只关心跟我有关系的事，人的本质是自私的，这也是没办法的事情。
“那是杜生生在吴欣瑶班上的朋友跟他说的，吴欣瑶什么都没说。”
“我怎么知道她没说，昨天晚上我还看到他们在一起”，我说。
“你死脑筋啊，在一起就是男女朋友啊？现在我和你和还在一起呢，我是你女朋友么？不过，说真的，吴欣瑶说她不想看见杜生生的，你怎么看到他们的？”
“就在操场上，我当时很烦，去跑步”我回忆说。
徐晨晨陷入了沉思中，我静静看着这丫头沉思，忽然发现徐晨晨有一种特别的美，与吴欣瑶不同。
“明白了，吴欣瑶肯定是去给你要钱了”，徐晨晨忽然说，然后她笑眯眯的看着我，让我觉得很不知所措，“真想不到，吴欣瑶竟然为了你宁愿去见她最不愿见的人，李雨，小看你了，钱还不收起来啊？浪费人家感情了可就”我觉得我那不争气的脸登时又红了。
其实我说过，我是善于联想的，再说：“我怎么知道她没说，昨天晚上我还看到他们在一起”时我已经想到吴欣瑶去帮我要回钱的可能，可是不知道为什么，我还是希望从别人口里得到证实。
“不用脸红了，我已经说清楚了，走了，你好自为之”
我拿过那三十的钞票，心里却在想着另一件事，看看徐晨晨，又觉得不好意思问，可我还是问了。
“别，先别走，徐晨晨，你是说，宋，雨悦她喜欢我？”
“可能吧”徐晨晨站在那很认真地说。
“那为什么？我是说，我觉得不可能，我和吴欣瑶才认识这么短的时间，而且我……我只知道她还比较喜欢我的文章，可，可是那也不太现实吧……”我费了很大勇气说了这些话，真希望我的脸不要那么红，为了掩饰一下，我自以为幽默的说了一句：
“她不会是因为我有才吧？”说完为了玩笑开得更像一点还自嘲似的傻笑了一声。
谁知道听完这句话，可爱的徐晨晨同学一脸无可奈何的表情，伸手从兜里掏出她的小镜子往我面前一伸，说：“那，你看看，你有多有才！”
我忍不住偷偷看了一眼，发现镜子里面的我样子特别怪异，显得不真实，我真怀疑徐晨晨给我看得是不是哈哈镜，但起码一点看清楚了——我的脸不可能比现在更红了。这时候徐晨晨坐下来，回忆说：
“你还记得你看过的稿件里有一个署名是牛尽男的吗？然后你给人家退了回去，而且还在评语里一番挖苦，并且称呼人家是兄弟，就是因为这件事吴欣瑶开始跟我打听你，还跟我借你的周记看。因为那个牛尽男就是吴欣瑶，吴欣瑶就是牛尽男。我们班执勤那次，你去检查她们班？她还以为你是去找她呢，结果却只是为杜生生传话，她说她没想到你那么害羞，跟你写的文字很不一样呢。可是你竟然还给人家班级扣了分，你知道吴欣瑶也是纪律委员哎，所以她就来找你了，也许是想交你这个朋友吧，明白了吧，这就是我掌握的情况，别的也帮不了你了，不过，我提醒你，也别太痴心妄想，宋愉悦对他未来男朋友期望是很高的，你明白吧？”
听着徐晨晨的叙述，我的心情起起落落，对于牛尽男我是有印象的，因为他写的那个小说的创意分明是抄袭的，所以我写了一段劝这位兄弟改邪归正的话，其实你想想看谁会想到竟然有女生给自己取一个牛尽男的笔名？然后徐晨晨最后的话好像别有深意，所以我问道：“那，她为什么总来我们班自习？我是说，在别处她一样可以自习吧，难道只是为来看我的周记？”说完又后悔，因为在别处一样可以看的。
徐晨晨这丫头竟然又看着我笑了，好像说：李雨，我算是看透了你了。她显然故意停顿了一会儿，留给我足够着急的时间，然后说：“李雨，我听你们宿舍的人说你可是一心一意学习的啊，怎么这么关心人家是不是喜欢你啊。别老孔雀开屏，自作多情啦，那是因为最近杜生生中午总是去烦她，所以她就躲到这来了，你以为是来找你啊？想的美，我们初中时候就是同学啦。也许她也想跟你认识吧，我不知道，因为她很喜欢文学的，可是呢你老是在那装酷。没想到杜生生那家伙竟然来找我们副班长啦，呵呵，你真是挺老实的。”徐晨晨的语气里有一丝怜惜，可是她好像忽然想起一件事，瞪着我问：“李雨，你跟我说实话，昨天你跟吴欣瑶说什么啦，她昨天可伤心啦，快说，快说”
我的心忽然很疼，如果今天徐晨晨告诉我的都是真的，不管吴欣瑶是不是喜欢我，这无关紧要了，要紧的是我昨天那么深的伤害了一个无辜的女孩。我没有勇气把昨天的话重复给面前的这个女孩听，只好搪塞道：“可能是昨天情绪不太好吧”
“情绪不太好？你可是老实人，不能撒谎，也对，吴欣瑶就是没有我看得开，心气太高了，又没受过什么委屈，你好样的，敢给我们梦中情人气受，学习吧，我走了”
“哎！”徐晨晨又回过身“记得给她道歉，要不她不会再理你了”
I nodded.
你必须承认，这对于我来说不是一件容易的事。
我首先就在是当面给吴欣瑶说对不起还是写一封道歉信给吴欣瑶道歉这个问题上陷入了困境。如果当面道歉，我想我没有勇气再见她，我担心自己会说不出话，写一封信的话，我是比较有信心的，可是又觉得那样做很傻。要命的是，还有一个半月就要期中考试了，我可不想我高二以来的努力化为泡影，这个时候我尤其害怕分心，如果当面见她，那万一再节外生枝爱上她怎么办？可是如果写信，我就要等她的回复，一定会弄得心神不宁。怎么样似乎都会影响学习。
事实上，我已经心神不宁了，每天想着这件事情根本学不进任何东西。就这样一星期就过去了，我终于决定速战速决一劳永逸拿出点男子气盖。
要见吴欣瑶，最好的办法是请徐晨晨这热心的女孩帮忙，可是我很怕再次被这丫头看扁。于是这天我一反常态的一下课就往外跑，下得楼来，开始在走廊里来回溜达，可走进吴欣瑶班的门口似乎是一件根本不可能做到事，那里好像有一股强大的磁场，而且与我同性相斥，心情怪怪的，我想快点看到吴欣瑶，最好她能自己出来，以便我快点结束这该死的煎熬，可是我又十分害怕被吴欣瑶看到我现在这紧张的窘态。最终吴欣瑶没有出来，上课铃响的那一刹那我长出了一口气，像是逃过一劫，起码又可以多犹豫一节课了，我沮丧的想。
第二节课的课间全校的学生都要到操场上作广播体操，我必须找到机会故意遇到吴欣瑶。下课了，数千的学生一起下楼涌向操场，颇为壮观，我在人群中寻找着吴欣瑶。但没有看到她，做操的时候我接着各种转体和转头的动作望向吴欣瑶他们班的队列，终于看见了那个在我脑海里反复闪现的美丽身影，像所有人一样心不在焉的作着操，我则考虑着怎么开始我的告白，不知道什么时候在我的潜意识里道歉好像已经变成了告白，我很庆幸吴欣瑶并没有注意到我，收操之后，我停下来紧张的等待着吴欣瑶慢慢地向这边走来，可是我却不敢回头看，像一块礁石背着人流的方向仿佛对花坛里的花草产生了浓厚的兴趣，也许她能看到我吧，事实证明她没有看到我，或者她看到了只是懒得理我，我又一想我这么想其实很傻，即使她看到我，那她也不能确定我是在等她呀。看着吴欣瑶渐渐走远我硬着头皮追上去，可是没想到的是这个时候我们的反面人物杜生生同学斜刺里突然出现在吴欣瑶身边，我暗暗咒骂了一声，很无奈的继续跟着。吴欣瑶竟然开始和那个混蛋说笑，虽然听不到他们在说什么，可是吴欣瑶分明在笑，而杜生生显然是刚刚说了什么得意的话，一脸得意地表情。我的心情骤然冷却了，升腾起一股夹杂着愤怒和嫉妒的复杂感情。
之后一个月，我没有再试图去找吴欣瑶。那时候我没有手机，而且我压根不想给她打电话。时间依然流逝，而且我是个深入浅出的人，如徐晨晨所言我总是一个人呆着，可见也并不怎么活动，所以除了偶尔做操的时候看到吴欣瑶之外，基本没什么机会看到她，而她也再没有来过我们班，而我因为吴欣瑶被打的事已经不可避免地传开，成为吴欣瑶传奇的一部分，所以我周围的同学们因为知道我虽然少言寡语却是个爱面子的人，就尽量不在我面前提到这个名字，而我呢尽量不去想这件事情，毕竟马上要期中考试了，也容不得我多想，可是在我心里并没有完全放下。
这天下午放学以后，我并没有马上离开教室，而是拿出历史参考书看了一会儿，我可不想去到那毫无秩序难民一样的饥饿的学子们中间冒着被挤死的危险抢饭吃，徐晨晨仿佛与我较劲一般也没有马上去吃饭。二十分钟以后，我觉得食堂可能不挤了，放了书，故意从徐晨晨身边走过。下楼向食堂走去，没想到那么倒霉，远远看到杜生生一伙儿正有说有笑勾肩搭背的进入食堂，由此看出这学校的生活真是一场苦难，我竟然连去吃一碗剩饭的机会都没有！只好去小卖部买包泡面了。然而我就这么遇见吴欣瑶了，在离小卖部二十米的时候，我看到吴欣瑶从里面出来，现在已是深秋了，她手里拿了一支雪糕，还没有拆开包装纸，众所周知，女生的第六感是很灵敏的，吴欣瑶几乎也同时看到了我，可是她还是义无反顾走了过来，这么说其实又很傻，因为不管怎么说，她总要回教室或者宿舍的，而这里是必经之路。她美丽的身影就这么飘到了我的面前，我的心跳频率急速上升到让我恐惧的高度，到底要不要道歉？我的大脑似乎也转动到可怕的状态，可就那么一瞬间，吴欣瑶从我的身边走过，就像我是周围毫无意义的空气一般。
“吴欣——瑶”我对着她的背影叫了一声。
吴欣瑶几乎立刻回过身来，面无表情地看着我。
“我……”一时间，那句对不起好像很难出口，似乎忽然觉得这个人根本不值得我道歉。可是我究竟是伤害了她啊。
这时候吴欣瑶瞪大了她那清澈动人的眼睛看着我使我的处境更加艰难。
“我看错你了。”
这句话从我嘴里毫无征兆的蹦出来，弄得吴欣瑶和我都一愣。
吴欣瑶瞪着我走过来，“什么叫你看错我了？你等了一个多月就是为了对我说这个？李雨，我知道你文章好，可是也别总是用这么深刻的句子跟别人说话吧”，脸对着脸，她就那么注视着我，我从没有跟女生挨得这么近过，她身上散发着淡淡的香气，就像《圣斗士星矢》里的女神雅典娜的小宇宙般包围并震撼着我，她的眼中闪着倔强的光，她的双唇紧紧抿着，那一刻我意乱神迷，我很想很想凑过去，轻轻吻在她的唇上，可是，我不敢，我真的不敢。
我下意识的退了两步，不知所措的看着她，而吴欣瑶则看起来像是完全谢了气，缓缓的说道：“李雨，你真是个懦夫！”
“吴欣瑶，你说的没错。”
我一愣，寻找着这句话的主人，看到了杜生生同学和他的那两个跟班的兄弟显然已经饱餐了一顿正往这边走来准备拿我活动一下筋骨下下饭食，一时间我的愤怒大过了恐惧，虽然我理智的不认为我能对付得了他们之中的任何一个人，但人可以被打败但是不能被侮辱，尤其在她面前，可就在这时候——
“杜生生，你想干什么？”吴欣瑶挡在了我面前，我的心头涌起一种莫名的温暖。这时候我注意到她手里的雪糕已经开始化了，有些牛奶一样的液体从包装里渗出来。
“你让开，妈的，你不是说对这小子没感觉吗？我说了，谁靠近你，我就揍谁。”杜生生凶恶的说。这时候周围已经围了越来越多的人，可是没有一个人见义勇为，这就是我们所处的教育环境。我哀叹道，甚至没有一个人去找老师。
“杜生生，算了，算了，这么多人你好意思动手么？再说，人家不喜欢你，你又有什么办法？”就像所有小说所有电影里一样一个英俊少年出现了，这时候所有的目光由恶人杜生生转向这位少年，并且嘀咕声四起，这少年比我稍稍高一些，一米八的样子，整齐的四六分的头发，穿一件橙色的外套，脸色很白，显然经常用大宝。但与所有小说所有电影不同的是他淡淡说完开场白之后被没有走出人群，而是继续冷眼旁观。有那么一刻我和他目光相接，我看到一个意味颇为复杂的眼神。
“我找李雨，没你的事，少管。”
“我是不想管啊。”这位少年很无所谓地说道：“可是，我知道，你再记一次过，就会被学校开除了，大哥！”
杜生生骂了句什么推歪两三个撤得慢的好事者离开了。麦宇翔漫不经心的走过来，笑着看看吴欣瑶，又看看我。
“吴欣瑶你真是个事儿精？你是李雨吧？”其实我认得他是麦宇翔，因为他是我们校刊的学生主编，交稿的时候是见过的。一种酸溜溜的自惭形秽在我的心里蔓延开来。尤其在今天这种情况下，毕竟人家两句话就使我免于再次挨揍的厄运。
“谢谢啊！”我说。
“不用理他。”吴欣瑶转过身来，说“李雨，你还没告诉我，你怎么又看错我啦？”我顿时又脸红了，我那不争气的脸。我看看麦宇翔，毕竟听说过他是她男朋友的传言，我似乎急于从他的表情中看到蛛丝马迹，但麦宇翔好像故意让我看不出什么。
“你们聊，我走了”麦宇翔转身就这么走了。
“我们也走吧”吴欣瑶建议说，我点点头。
我就这样成为了吴欣瑶的朋友之一，我不知道吴欣瑶的真实想法，反正我的理解是这样的。那天我们一起回教室，除了让我感觉不太真实之外，就是我发现其实我和吴欣瑶之间没什么共同语言，这也就是为什么直到现在我还是感觉我并不是很了解她。这么说也许并不对，因为回想起来在高中上学那会子，我好像跟谁都没有说太多的话。但不管怎么说，我和吴欣瑶终于可以正常交往了。而且，发生了这么多事，我们似乎都认为我们之间的友谊有点特别。我们的事也被演绎为众多版本在学校里流传。但其实，我们的交往也不过是朋友级的，虽然我在某些特定的时间默认她是我的女朋友，但吴欣瑶似乎还是保持她一贯的特立独行的风格，而之后的期中考试的一塌糊涂，也使我对我所谓的恋情保持了一贯的理智甚至是痴呆的态度，即，现在的情感即使再美好，如果我没有一个好的学习成绩，一年以后考不上一所好的大学的话，那么它也不过是一场美丽的幻觉。半年多的时间里，我们没有约会过，如果不算上一周一次的交换周记看的话，其实平时我们也不怎么见面，于是文字的交流成了我们主要的交流方式，吴欣瑶的确是不适合写小说的，因为不管她怎么努力，在她笔下的人物也总是她自己，可是她的心情随笔却是很美好的，有着一种温柔别致。我似乎也满足于这样，因为，我怕影响我的学习，也许这样做是比较自私的，可是我又能做什么？而且在吴欣瑶那里我找不到安全感，或者套用畿米在漫画里说的一句话：我无法相信单纯的幸福。她太美好，而我太平凡，我害怕会陷的越深，最后伤的越深，在我看来，吴欣瑶实在不适合作我的初恋，可是我又如此深的迷恋着她。
随后的高三，杜生生终于被学校的纪律大整顿整顿掉，大块了人心，一时传为笑谈。吴欣瑶却突然被传说想去那城市读卫校，大概都是为了麦宇翔吧，众所周知，麦宇翔一直想成为一个心理医生。
吴欣瑶终于没有忘记跟我告别。
我问：“你去了那，我们怎么联系呢？写信还是打电话？”
吴欣瑶说：“还是打电话吧，写信怕没时间，我们都要加油！”
于是我问了她的手机号码，好笑的是我竟然现在才问。而且不知道吴欣瑶到那城市以后肯定是要换号码的。
在高三的大部分时间里，我有时候想想吴欣瑶，大部分时间不想，我只给她写过一次信，但没有收到回信，我心想吴欣瑶真是说到做到。我的学习成绩没有提高到我想要的水平，事实上它比从前更糟了，而我们的麦宇翔同学则继续着他的神话，每次月考结束之后的全体高三生的升旗仪式上，教导主任或者副校长校长宣布的前多少名的名单上麦宇翔是从不缺席的，而我只是站在芸芸众生的队列里面做一个被表彰者的看客。徐晨晨的成绩比我好，但也没有好到足够的水平，于是同病相怜的我们日益走到一起，事实上那也是因为，几次月考后班里按照成绩排座位，我们因为成绩相近而成了前后座，那是因为在我们班，男生和女生是不能同位的，但这也没能阻止我们传出绯闻，这只能说明高三的生活太过无聊，才催生了这么多青涩的花骨朵，而成不了花骨朵的人就只能以人家花骨朵们作为谈论话题，而事实上我和徐晨晨确实清白的朋友关系，我们之间谈论的话题出了学习还是学习，学习比我好徐晨晨同学还给了我很多帮助，偶尔我们会说到吴欣瑶，徐晨晨总是会带来些关于吴欣瑶的消息，比如她在那城市的学校又考了多少分啊，计划报什么学校之类，而且偶尔跟我半开玩笑似的说吴欣瑶在那边跟某某帅哥云云，然后很调皮的看着我的反应，我总是一脸默然地说我才不在乎，而事实上我很在乎，我一天比一天向往北京，不仅仅是为了吴欣瑶，也是为了证明我自己。课间的时候我改掉了睡觉的习惯，热爱上了打羽毛球，徐晨晨则是我的最佳对手，或者说是我唯一的朋友，我们打得越来越有默契，简直默契的无话可说。我们打羽毛球之外的娱乐活动是遛弯儿，在学校里四处走走，谈谈考试谈谈我们各自未知的前途。而吴欣瑶竟然真的没有联系过我。这让我在想起她的时候总是很失落，那不是个好感觉，有时候我会想现在的吴欣瑶在干什么呢？可是我不愿意主动联系她，因为我不想证明，我比她更在乎我们之间的感情。虽然她吴欣瑶不在乎我，可是我李雨还是如此想念她。毕竟我是男人，男人是很爱面子的。
就这样我的高中生活进入尾声，班里开始每天传着几本同学录，其中也有我的一本，大多数同学留给我的话里都有这么一句：虽然我们没说几句话……可是……这就是我留给大家的形象吧，我想。高考那天，不知道为什么表现如此神勇，出成绩那天简直把我吓了一跳，616分！我挂了高考成绩的查询热线然后第一时间打电话给徐晨晨，徐晨晨大笑着说真是祝贺你了，我这次考砸了，不能再追随你左右了。我突然很想哭，可是徐晨晨并没有哭，所以我就也没有哭。那一刻我其实是想到了另一个人，就是吴欣瑶。
想到这里的时候，不知道为什么，心里忽然很难受。
一直没有吴欣瑶的消息，虽然我有点埋怨她，可是从心而论，我还是很想和她能上一所大学，徐晨晨已经是做出决定填报那城市的医护专业了，她一直想去找吴欣瑶，我一直犹豫不决，如果找一个最喜爱的专业，我当然报文学系，可是我是个现实的人，于是在理想与现实之间，我陷入矛盾。爸爸妈妈对我的高考成绩非常满意，但是似乎不愿意替我做决定。
之后的日子，在家研究《高考填报志愿指南》，其实圈来圈去不过是北京的学校，爸爸妈妈则一如既往的支持我，因为这次我考得实在是太好了。
填报志愿那天，吴欣瑶终于出现了。
21号那天徐晨晨打电话来，说晚上在学校礼堂有关于填报志愿的专家讲座，问我去不去。我说：好啊。
没想到下午就下起雨来，我有点不想去了，因为离学校很远，可是还是想去听听，毕竟填报志愿很重要的，而且既然已经答应人家了。于是就骑着自行车去了。天已经完全黑下来，虽然穿了雨衣，可是全身几乎没什么干的地方了，礼堂里面灯火明亮，外面停了很多车子，什么车子都有，而在礼堂外面的屋檐下有很多大人，显然里面不许家长进入。我一路小跑上了二层的大厅，没想到看到吴欣瑶。她站在礼堂的窗外，好像在犹豫是不是要进去，她头发比以前长了，被雨微微打湿，穿了一件嫩绿色的小T恤，白色裤子，红色的小