Chapter 61 Chapter One

"Luo Haoran?" "Yes. The outside world still exists?" "yes." "Is there no end of the world?" "No." Five days later, I have turned into a ghost, hiding behind your back, looking at you. You lie where I was buried, weighed down, in total darkness, convinced that the world is doomsday, only death awaits.I know everything in your heart, and I know that you are weaving a set of murderous fantasies to make up for your hesitation and cowardice when facing me.You thought I had never seen you, you thought I still hoped that you would save me, but you didn't expect that I would beg you to kill me.

You are wrong, I know you. But you will never remember me. Time, go back to five days ago... At that time, I was still alive and still breathing the stale air underground.With the exception of my hands and head, I was buried under the rubble.The same is true of my beloved Churchill, who screamed helplessly, hoping to attract people to save us. Suddenly, an electric light shot into the dark room. You came to the half-collapsed film projection room, and you shone the flashlight on my face and Churchill's, stabbing me so hard that I couldn't open my eyes. you recognized me. And I also recognized you——Ye Xiao, an excellent police officer, you have been tracking me down and want to bring me to justice.

But you will not know my past, you will not know the real cause of Chu Ruolan's death, that is a secret that no one can approach, hidden deep in an extremely strong core shell. Even if you find that suicide note, you will still be deceived by my fabricated memories. For example, my age, according to the household registration file, I am 40 years old, but in fact I am only 36 years old, and this year is my birth year. Yes, all of my identity information, including family origin and education, was all fabricated ten years ago.The reason I look like forty is because I've spent my teenage years in Les Miserables, so I'm overgrown, my face carved with suffering.

I don't know where I was born, nor what month and date my birthday is.As soon as I can remember, I was wandering all over the country.I have a pair of adoptive parents who have no names but nicknames - my adoptive father is called "Mantou" and my adoptive mother is called "Danhua". This is their favorite luxury.And I am called "Big Fork" because I love to draw big forks on the sand with my fingers.The adoptive parents were a pair of homeless people. They spoke a standard Beijing rural accent, which made me speak fluent Mandarin later. In the deep mountains at the foot of the Shaolin Temple, we went from Zhengzhou to Luoyang. Of course, we couldn't afford the train tickets, so we took a shortcut and took the mountain path.In the snow-covered pine forest, we ate corn bread given by the monks of Shaolin Temple.The adoptive parents told me that they picked me up in Tangshan. At the foot of a barren hill in the suburbs, in a completely collapsed military factory, there was a burst of baby crying.At that time, there was a wild wolf wandering in the moonlight, following the cry and trying to come and take away the baby.Out of sympathy, the adoptive parents drove away the ferocious wolf with a stick, and rescued the dying baby boy from the ruins—the adoptive mother just gave birth to a son that year, and died within a few days. She looked at the swaddling baby Crying in my heart, I unbuttoned my clothes with tears streaming down my face.I instinctively bit my nipple and survived tenaciously.I am not eligible to be an earthquake orphan, because some people suspect that I was born as a homeless person, and I was given to the government because I couldn't support myself.In the end, my adoptive mother was really reluctant to leave me, so she took me as her own child and took me on a wandering journey with her.

I have been to almost every place in China, and followed my adoptive parents to pick up garbage for a living, collecting all kinds of waste cardboard boxes and bottles, and going to the recycling station to exchange some money for food.Usually it takes more than ten days to eat a piece of steamed bun and a bowl of egg drop soup.My adoptive mother often took me to sit in front of the waste glass and look in the mirror. She said that I was born a beautiful boy, and that when I grow up, many girls will like me—she would shed tears as she talked, maybe because she thought of her dead son, I still think that I will not be able to find a wife in the future.I was very smart when I was a child, and my adoptive father taught me to recognize a few words, but he himself only read to the third grade of elementary school.One year we passed through the countryside of Zhejiang, recycling industrial waste for township factories. I always lay under the window of the rural primary school and eavesdropped on their classes.For this reason, I was often beaten, and sometimes my head was broken, and my adoptive parents did not dare to ask anyone for an explanation.Later, I met a support teacher from the city. He let me sit in the classroom and gave me a set of old textbooks.In that year, I learned more than a thousand Chinese characters, and got the highest score in the school in the examination paper of the sixth grade of elementary school-but I was not qualified to continue studying. When my classmates were promoted to junior high school, I was I went to the South with my adoptive parents.

When we were thirteen years old, we were picking up rubbish on a construction site in Shenzhen, and my adoptive mother was killed by a collapsed crane.My adoptive father held me and cried for several days and nights, until I was forcibly locked up in a shelter, packed into a truck and sent out of Guangdong. Five years later, in that cold winter, my adoptive father and I could no longer find any waste products to pick up. We starved for several days and were reduced to begging on the street.We had the misfortune to meet the city management.I was kicked by the urban management, and my adoptive father went up to argue angrily. As a result, I was kicked by a group of urban management, and died on the spot in the white snow.I hugged his dead body, looked at the bright red blood on the white snow, and couldn't shed a single tear. More than ten years later, I sent people to that city to find out the urban management who took the lead in beating people, and then created a In a traffic accident, the beast was run over by a truck and killed.

After the death of my adoptive father, I was alone, got on a coal train, and came to this big city on the east coast. That year, I met her. "You killed Chu Ruolan? Answer! Yes? Or no?" "yes." "You're still a man." "Do you want to kill me?" "I..." In the half-collapsed movie projection room, Ye Xiao put on gloves and picked up a piece of broken glass from the ground. The sharp break gave off a cold light, and the Labrador dog barked loudly in his ears, "For this day , I have been waiting for almost a year." That year, I was eighteen years old.

I was wearing a washed-out jacket, blue sweatpants with white stripes, and a pair of old sneakers I found in a trash can.Through the window of the barber shop on the street, I can clearly see my face, with a pair of big silent eyes, the original fair skin is slightly tanned, and the black hair is not messy or loose because it is often washed with cold water stink.I was taller than many city kids, and although I hadn't eaten any nutritious food since I was a child, I hadn't even tasted much of milk.My adoptive parents, who are short and thin, have always guessed that my biological parents must be tall and handsome, and they may be "art workers".

It was a late autumn afternoon, and the sun passed through the leaves of the sycamore tree and sprinkled on the glass door of the barbershop.When I looked at myself in the "mirror" obsessively, and put on the expression of Wu Qilong in the street advertisement, the door suddenly opened, and a girl walked out.She had just had her hair cut, which appeared to have been trimmed only slightly, and was tied in a long ponytail.She was wearing a big white sweater and looked into my eyes coldly.It took a few seconds before I realized I was blocking her way.I bowed my head shyly, stepped aside and said softly, "I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter." She seemed polite and well-bred, and hurried past me.When I looked up at her, I didn't expect her to look back at me. Their eyes collided, and I could see the doubt in her heart—why does this person dress like a country bumpkin, but he looks like an urbanite? people?Why stand in front of the barber shop and look in the mirror?Is it perverted?However, he is quite handsome... She didn't go far, but came to a book rental store on the street, and touched her pockets for a long time, only to find that all the money had been used up at the barber shop.The boss said it was the last one and it would be borrowed by others soon.When she was about to leave in disappointment, I rushed to her, took out the last coin from my pocket, and stammered, "I...I... lent you..."

She took a half step back alertly: "Who are you?" "I am not a bad guy……" My standard Mandarin is quite rare in this city, so it is normal for such a beautiful girl to be afraid of it.She stared at me for a moment, probably seeing some kind of unusual innocence in my eyes, and she accepted: "Thank you. I will return it to you tomorrow." So, she borrowed the "Dragon Ball". That night, I couldn't even afford half a piece of flatbread, so I spent the night under the bridge hole hungry. The next day, at the same time, I came to the door of the book rental store again, specially arranged my hair, cleaned up my clothes, and stood there pretending to be facing the wind. She is coming. Still so pretty, her hair no longer tied into a ponytail, but draped over her shoulders.But she is not alone. She was accompanied by two boys who looked like her classmates. They were tall and thin, and girls liked them.One of the boys took out a dollar, stuffed it into my hand and said, "Thank you." Then another boy stared at me strangely, half out of doubt, half out of sympathy. He said softly to the boy: "Ye Xiao, do you think this person is strange?" "Well, it's the people who live under the bridge." And the girl held their hands and said, "Zhou Xuan, Ye Xiao, can you accompany me to the game room?" The three of them walked side by side, and I will always remember these two names. In that year, there were still many old houses in this bustling metropolis, pigeons flying under the open sky, and high school students leaving school under the eaves in the alleys.There is no garbage dump nearby, and sanitation workers come to collect garbage every day.And if I want to collect waste products, I need at least a dozen yuan in capital, but I can't even collect waste paper boxes.I was going to leave and live in a scrap yard in the suburbs, but I decided to stay no matter what—in order to see that girl every day, to see her go to school with her schoolbag at dawn, and to see her with those two boys After school, watch her go home and turn on the lights to review her homework, and watch her figure behind the curtains before turning off the lights in the middle of the night. I soon learned her name - Ruolan. However, I still didn’t earn a penny, and I went to bed hungry every night, and it became more and more difficult to go to the back door of the restaurant to pick up the leftovers.Until one day, I was so hungry that I couldn't bear it, and I sneaked into a house that forgot to close the door.The entrance of this house is along the alley, and there is a concrete pier outside the wall, lying under the eaves can protect it from wind and rain. I often hide here, looking at the sky obsessively.I found that the house of this family was small, but there was a huge refrigerator. I opened the door and took out a pile of cooked food, squatting by the wall and gobbling it up.However, the master ran out when he heard the movement, picked me up and beat me violently. He is a laid-off worker in his forties. He has nothing to do and stays at home all day, so he opens the door in broad daylight.However, under my repeated begging, he quickly lowered his fist and poured me a glass of water to prevent me from choking on too much.I tried not to shed tears and knelt down in front of him to apologize.He was moved with compassion, believed everything I said, and simply let me sleep under the eaves of his house, and occasionally left me the leftovers that I couldn't finish.And I promise that I will never break into his house again, and I will not stain the outer wall of his house, and I will definitely go to the public toilet to solve it.He also lent me twenty dollars to help me make ends meet. So, I started to collect waste paper for a living in the neighborhood, walking from house to house, holding a pile of waste newspapers, and a steelyard scale, which people can understand at a glance.My price is more reasonable than others, anyway, I am not a greedy person, as long as I earn enough money to eat pancakes and steamed buns.I quickly paid off the twenty yuan, put on cheap new clothes, went to the bathroom to wash myself clean, and boldly appeared at the door of Ruolan's house. I still dare not say a word to her, even if there are no two teenagers around her.Sometimes she would see me, and she would smile slightly when her eyes met. She didn't seem to be wary of me, because I was tidied up pretty well. Once, I walked almost side by side with her, and when I couldn't help but want to talk to her, she said first: "Why have you been following me?" I shyly shook my head. "No, it's just a coincidence." "You followed me and hid downstairs in my house at night." "Sorry!" I'm not one to lie. And she dumped the ponytail and said, "Fortunately, I didn't tell me the two male classmates, otherwise they would definitely come to you." "Oh, thanks." "My name is Ruolan, but I don't know your name yet." "I—" I have no name since I was a child, only a nickname "Dacha", even my adoptive parents call me that, "I don't have a name." "no name?" "Yes, I didn't lie to you." Although, I believe that my expression is sincere, but Ruolan's eyes clearly read - you are lying to me. "Let me think about it." Just passing by an audio-visual product store, she pointed to Luo Jialiang's poster on the window and said, "Your surname is Luo. Name, I was memorizing Li Bai's "To Meng Haoran" in my Chinese textbook last night. Your name is Luo Haoran." "Luo Haoran?" "That's a good name, it sounds like a big shot." "Me? A big shot?" Thinking of this, I burst out laughing myself. When the two of us laughed together, the window of a house above us opened, and a housewife stuck her head out and shouted, "Hey! Scrap collector! Come to my house to collect old newspapers!" My face suddenly changed, ashamed to let her know my occupation.And she took two steps back slowly, and said softly, "You go." I rolled my eyes at the woman upstairs, and when I turned around, Ruolan had disappeared. "Even the police are going to kill me?" "Luo Haoran, if you kill someone, you should pay with your life." "yes." "But even if I catch you, they may not sentence you to death, they may release you soon!" "Maybe. But I never thought of killing Ruolan." "Don't deny it!" "Every one of you wants to kill me!"