Chapter 66 Chapter Twenty

"What if there was a tomorrow? How would you like to dress your face? If there was no tomorrow? How would you say goodbye?" She often has a feeling - this song is the last piece of music that flashed in her mind at ten o'clock in the middle of the night on June 19, 1995, when Teacher Shen Ming was killed and turned into a ghost. December 21, 2012. The end of the world in the Mayan calendar. In the middle of the night, on the top floor of the 30th floor, you can overlook a small half of the city, and outside the window is the air that is close to freezing point."If there is still tomorrow" resounds from the boy's knockoff phone, but it is no longer the original song in 1990, but the remixed version of Xin and Xue Yue.Xiaozhi sat cross-legged on the window sill, and the hot air from her mouth kept blowing on the glass, turning into groups of fuzzy white shadows.He poked his finger on the white shadow, first drew the shape of a squinting cat, and then put a pair of glasses on the cat.

"Student Siwang, don't be naughty!" She breathed another cloud of white gas on the glass, and devoured the kitten in an instant. "I am Shen Ming." "Tonight, I asked you to come here, which has nothing to do with Shen Ming." This is the apartment that Ouyang Xiaozhi rents alone. It is a small house with one bedroom and one living room. It is clean and simple. They didn't speak for days, and even in class, they couldn't make eye contact.In the early morning, she received a text message from Si Wang: "Xiaozhi, I want to see you, if there is tomorrow?"

It happened to be Friday, and Xiaozhi sent him the address until the evening, when it was as dark as midnight.In addition to being the end of the world, tonight is also the winter solstice day for Chinese people, and it is also the day with the longest night and the shortest day in the northern hemisphere.In previous years, people would go to the grave to pay homage to relatives and ancestors.Legend has it that this is the most cloudy day, and ghosts often appear after nightfall, and everyone must go home as soon as possible. Si Wang didn't go home after receiving the text message. He got out of the subway halfway, turned off the phone function of his mobile phone, and came to this apartment on the top of the 30th floor.

"In the morning, your head teacher, Mr. Zhang, talked to me and asked me not to have any private contact with you, even in the teacher's office." "Zhang Mingsong?" Si Wang used his fingertips to draw a dog on the white air on the window glass, "Why should he?" "In the afternoon, the principal also talked to me and said the same thing. This is a decision discussed by the school party committee." "Is that what everyone says?" "Including all teachers and students, and soon your mother will know." "But what's the point? If there is no tomorrow?"

She leaned over and blew a cloud of white mist on the window: "If, tonight is the end of the world, that would be great—I'm sorry, this is not what a high school teacher should say." "Xiaozhi, why haven't you gotten married after so many years? There must be many men who have chased you?" "What do you want me to answer? You want to say that I have never forgotten Teacher Shenming? Feeling guilty about his death? You are wrong. It is nothing to eighteen or nineteen-year-old boys and girls!" "You are lying." Ouyang Xiaozhi pinched his nose, as if he was still a primary school student: "You will understand when you grow up to my age."

"Don't forget I'm seven years older than you." "Shut up—" Before he finished speaking, Si Wang had already kissed her tightly on the mouth. Short-lived After struggling and resisting, Xiaozhi gradually softened, and he gasped and said, "I'm sorry." "I warned you—any man who gets too close to me will die!" Her lip was just bitten by Si Wang, and she was bleeding, she really looked like a female vampire when she said those words. "Can you tell me why?" "Actually, the name Xiaozhi is my own." "It doesn't matter what the name is. For example, I am both Si Wang and Shen Ming."

"I——was originally an abandoned baby. I was picked up in a trash can by the Suzhou River. I don't know who my biological parents are? I don't know when I was born? I don't know when I was born. I wandered around with a group of homeless people, hungry and full every day, until I was almost eleven years old, and came to the shantytown opposite Nanming High School. I helped everyone pick up garbage for a living, and lived in a world that was looked down upon by everyone I stole a piece of chicken leg because of hunger, and I was imprisoned in the Witch Quarter by your classmates. If I hadn’t been rescued by you, I’m afraid I would have become a skinny corpse in the ground.”

"I still remember your face at that time." Twig leaned her head against the window pane, as if floating in the air: "I didn't even have a name at that time! Although, during the few days I was locked underground, I had a strong desire to survive, and I am very grateful to you for saving my life." However, when I returned to the homeless people, continued to pick up dirty garbage every day, swallowed cold and hard steamed buns, and was beaten from time to time, I resented why you saved me? Let me silently Wouldn't it be better to die underground? Then all the pain would be wiped out."

"You want to die—so?" "I'm sorry! I caused the fire! I used a match to ignite a pile of garbage in the house. I just wanted to lock myself up and burn to death. I didn't expect that other people would suffer. I Only eleven years old, so naive and too stupid, I didn't expect the fire to spread, and it would be out of control in the blink of an eye, setting the entire shanty town on fire..." She closed her eyes, tears rolled down her cheeks, and she seemed to be burning hot again. "It was June 1988. All our classmates came out at night, and the fire truck hadn't arrived yet. I heard cries for help from the flames, so I rushed in desperately—in fact, I didn't come to rescue you. But I just want to rush in, pretending to save people, even if it burns myself."

"Aren't you afraid of being burned to death?" "I'm not afraid! Because the college entrance examination is going to be in a few weeks. You know how difficult it was to get into college? What's more, I applied for the Chinese Department of Peking University. There are tens of thousands of talented students all over the country vying for a place! Facing the moment of fire, I think that if I can be brave enough to save even one person, I might be able to get a chance to be recommended. In fact, I am the most selfish person! During the days of my third year in high school, I fantasized about this fire every day, or a sudden one The flood put all the teachers and students in the school in danger, so I can save people regardless of my own life and get commended by the city... The one who should say sorry is me."

"No, you saved me, and I set fire to so many people, including the homeless people who brought me up. I was a murderer, or at least an arsonist. But I never told the secret. " He looked at the doomsday people under the window and smiled wryly: "I have known your secret for a long time - when I rescued you from the fire, you had a half-used box of matches on you, and I quietly hid it in Your own pocket. And what you said to me at that time, and the fear revealed in your eyes, all told me the truth." "Why didn't you say it?" "I don't want to see your life ruined! There is also a selfish reason. If you are not a victim, but an arsonist, then it is meaningless for me to save you-who would take the honor of being brave, How about a guy who saved a murderer?" Xiaozhi stroked his chin pitifully: "Mr. Shen, I remember that you told me seventeen years ago in the wilderness on Nanming Road—we are all the same kind of people." "It's like two meteors flying from distant outer space at the same time, heading towards the same blue planet, but hitting the atmosphere at the same time, burning into ashes and debris." "Shen Ming, I still have to thank you for saving me. This matter has attracted public attention. Some people reported on the high school students who saved people in the fire, and some people cared about the lonely little girl. An officer came to adopt me because he My wife is infertile. I became the daughter of a soldier. At least I have no worries about food and clothing. I wear new clothes for the first time. I can eat white rice every night. I no longer encounter disgusting and disgusting eyes. The next day, my adoptive father was urgently called to the Vietnam battlefield, and when I saw him again, he was already a portrait of a martyr.” "Twig, I don't need to know this." She seemed to be talking to the air: "From then on, my adoptive mother began to alienate me, thinking that I, a wild child who escaped from the fire, brought bad luck to her husband. But she is a soldier after all. His wife received a lot of pensions, and I also became a child of a martyr, enjoying various preferential treatments. I regained the opportunity to receive education, and Bayi Primary School recruited me exceptionally. And I studied very hard, and I jumped repeatedly in just a few years. After a few grades, I quickly caught up with the education of my peers until I was admitted to a key school in the urban area. Later, because some gangsters followed me and ran to the school gate to harass me, I was forced to transfer to Nanming High School." "And then we met again." "I didn't expect you to recognize me." "How can I forget? In 1988, the first time was in the underground of the Witch's District at night, and the second time was the little girl in the flames of Nanming Road. Although, six years later, you have grown into a beautiful girl and completely changed into another People—except for the eyes." He gently touched the corners of Xiaozhi's eyes, hiding two wrinkles, "I know you are an arsonist, and you have set fire to death so many people, although it was not intentional." "If this secret is known to others, maybe I will be imprisoned, at least not today's fate." "Liuman knows." Ouyang Xiaozhi shook his head and sighed: "I should have guessed it earlier." "On June 5, 1995, the night before she was killed, she stopped me alone in the self-study classroom, saying that she had discovered my secret with you - she said she was your best friend, but it was an illusion , In fact, she has always been deeply jealous of you, because of your arrival, she is no longer being noticed by everyone, and every boy pays attention to you quietly, maybe including the person she likes." "The purpose of Liuman approaching me, pretending to be my best friend, is to discover my secret?" "I think she spread the rumors about you on purpose at school. Liu Man said that just a few days ago, she found out your real identity—it turned out that you were adopted in 1988, that is, The only survivor of that fire, and the one who rescued you from the fire, was me." "The rest is her imagination." "Yes, Liuman said her conjecture - the teacher must like Xiaozhi, between you and me, as a class teacher and a student, there has been a relationship between a man and a woman, of course I deny it!" "Actually, I've never had sex with you. I haven't even stepped into your dormitory, Mr. Shen Ming." The look on her face when she said this, I don't know if it was gratification or regret? "Early the next morning, I found Liuman dead, and I—" Si Wang wanted to say something more, but his mouth was sealed by Xiao Zhi's hand: "Don't say anything." After a long time, he finally broke free: "In thirteen days, I will die too." "What kind of time was it for me in 1995? After the death of Teacher Shen Ming, I was admitted to a normal university. After graduation, I went to teach in the impoverished mountainous areas of the west, because like those children, I had a childhood of hunger and being out of school." "I don't need to know about your past. Now there is only one question left - no matter what, it's hard for me to tell. I'm afraid that once I tell this secret, you will disappear from my eyes forever." Ouyang Xiaozhi covered her face: "I know what you're thinking? On June 19, 1995, why did I ask you to meet in the Witch District at ten o'clock in the evening? Why did you get killed and I didn't show up? ? Is it just a big thunderstorm? After you died, why didn’t I tell the school and the police? Instead, I lied to everyone?” "You still have something to hide from me?" She stopped answering Si Wang's question, and turned her head to look out the window on the 30th floor. On such a cold night, the endless city was full of lights, but it was nothing more than a gold-selling cave. The counterfeit mobile phone is still ringing "If there is really a tomorrow, can everything be done, will everything disappear, if there is no tomorrow..." Midnight, twelve o'clock. When he woke up from the dream of killing people one after another, it was already the early morning of December 22.The steel forest outside the window has not changed, but snowflakes are floating all over the sky. Sure enough, there is still tomorrow. Ouyang Xiaozhi stood in front of the window, put on a cotton nightgown, her hair was messed up on her face, staring at the city in the snow in a daze. And he was exposed behind her at a glance, and he no longer dared to touch her shoulders, but just buried his head in smelling the fragrance in her hair. Suddenly, she looked back into the boy's eyes, her lips were close to each other, but she shook her head: "Si Wang, please go, your mother is waiting for you to come home." She is chasing him away. And he didn't say the phrase "I am Shenming" again, put on his clothes without saying a word, walked to the door and grabbed the handle, and took a last look at her back, like a cloud of hazy smoke, which would disappear at any time. how to say goodbye Si Wang was already walking on the icy snow, and paper-like snowflakes were flying in front of him. For the first time, the city after the doomsday made people feel friendly, and even his footsteps on the snow became light. When he came to the Suzhou River, he was still on the Wuning Road Bridge. He held the railing covered with snow and looked at the surging River of Life and Death under the bridge. Countless snowflakes fell and melted in a blink of an eye... When the sun rose, he returned to his home in the slums, waking up his mother who was sitting at the door—He Qingying stayed up all night, her eyes were flushed, as if she had aged several years. "where did you go?" Facing his mother's almost fierce gaze, Si Wang took off his coat and poured a glass of water, opened the refrigerator and took bread to satisfy his hunger. "Wang'er, I waited for you all night, but I still didn't dare to call your homeroom teacher. I was afraid that if he found out that you didn't come back at night, he would punish you. I went to the Public Security Bureau to find Officer Ye Xiao, and he was also looking for you all over the city. In the second half of the night, I went to Nanming Middle School." He Qingying frantically grabbed his collar, almost tearing the sweater she knit for her son into pieces: "If you don't tell me, I'll show you!" "I'm with a woman." Finally, he replied lightly, sat down and continued to eat bread. My mother was dumbfounded, trembling for a long time, and made a phone call: "Hello, is this Teacher Zhang? I'm sorry to disturb you early in the morning on the rest day. I am Si Wang's mother, and I want to tell you something. My son stayed up all night last night. Did not return, he said he was with a woman." Zhang Mingsong's sharp voice came from the other end of the phone. He Qingying put the receiver close to her ear, hung up the phone in silence after a few minutes, walked slowly to her son, and slapped him across the face.