Chapter 5 Chapter 5 Am I Alive?

Many people will definitely wonder why Yue Xiaojing went to the children's park, but it is not surprising at all.There are only two parks in the small Jixi City, and the gates are facing each other.One is the riverside company, which was later changed into a zoo; the other is a children's park.I don't need to say it this time, just from the smell alone, everyone should know which one to choose. The park in winter is deserted, except for dead branches and old trees, there are only motionless amusement facilities, which seem lifeless.Those who sell tickets don't know where they went.After finally finding someone to buy tickets, I went straight to the big flower bed in the middle of the park.Xiao Jing was already standing there, wearing a brown leather jacket with a fur collar, a pair of jeans underneath, and a pair of high-heeled leather shoes.Not to mention, this kind of dress not only does not make her short, but also better brings out her exquisite figure. In addition, her already charming facial features really make my eyes shine.

There is a photo booth next to the flower bed. The owner is a middle-aged woman. I don't know why she still insists on doing business here in such a sluggish season. "Handsome guy and pretty girl, what a beautiful weather, let's take a photo together." After finally meeting two living people, she worked hard to make us her customers. I shook my head with a smile, indicating to her that we will not take pictures. The middle-aged woman refused to give up and followed us all the time, and she kept showing us the album in her hand. "Look at the handsome guy, how good our photos are here. There is no business in this cold weather, take care of my sister."

Her words moved me.I stopped and asked Xiao Jing beside me, "Shall we take a photo here?" Xiao Jing only hesitated for a moment, then readily accepted my proposal: "Okay, then take a photo." At this moment, I suddenly remembered that someone told me that ghosts cannot take pictures.If you want to know if Xiaojing is a ghost, taking pictures is also a good way to identify it. "Come closer, come closer...smile..." With a click, the smiles of Xiaojing and I were frozen at that moment. The eldest sister was very grateful to us for taking care of her business, and she was very enthusiastic. She collected the money and said, "Handsome, please leave a contact address, and I will definitely receive the photos within three days."

We thanked, and walked into the park along the artificial lake embankment that had been frozen, and walked through a forest that had already withered branches and leaves in front of the playground. "Why didn't you find me during this time?" I started chatting with her while walking.I want to find a suitable topic to start, and I want to get all the answers to my questions. "I don't want to mention it, please don't ask me, okay? Didn't I come here for you?" The first question was rejected. "Then why don't you work in the hotel? I went there to find you." I asked a new question.

"Well, I don't want to do it if I find it boring. Besides, my parents don't know that I'm going to work in a restaurant. If they knew, they would definitely not agree to me doing this job." Xiao Jing's voice was not loud, but she heard every sentence. So believable. "So you tell the sisters to say you never showed up?" "Well, smart." Xiao Jing's big eyes can also speak, and they are especially charming when they are narrowed. "Then your home..." I dropped this bombshell. "I'm lying to you. I don't live in that village at all. I don't want others to know where my home is. When I was working in a restaurant, we lived in a nearby dormitory."

"Oh." All the mysteries were solved, I took a deep breath, and said to myself: It doesn't matter if you lied to me, this time scared me half to death.It seems that Xiao Jing is not as simple as I imagined at the beginning, she is a very scheming girl.Think about it too.Last year, I worked part-time as a waiter in a dance hall, and the girls there didn't like to tell others where their homes were, and many of them used aliases.After all, safety is the most important thing for girls.Why didn't I think of this level, and I scared myself for almost two months.It's just that she doesn't know where she went during this time, and her whereabouts are a bit mysterious.

The forest is very quiet, only a few crows who are enduring the cold are circling in the sky, and there are no human traces to be seen here.On the frozen artificial lake next to it, there was also a thin layer of snow.We saw a row of benches along the road. We cleared the remaining snow from the benches and sat side by side.Xiaojing suddenly threw herself into my arms.I was really unprepared and didn't know what to do for a moment. I had never had such close contact with a girl.At the age of nineteen, I had just begun to fall in love, and there was no reason why I could not sit still. Holding her petite body in my arms, I could only feel the blood boiling all over my body.

A thought flashed in my mind: "She, this cute girl, isn't she a ghost!" But as soon as the thought flashed, it disappeared forever.How could she be a ghost?Such a lovely girl is snuggling in my arms right now! She poked her head out, looked at me with both eyes, and said something that shocked me: "Let me... be your woman." Before I could answer, her lips were on mine. A warm current hit my whole body in an instant, making me no longer able to resist.I just felt a hand, a hand as delicate as a magician's, directly touching my body.That hand was so warm, it made me feel a kind of happiness that I had never felt before.In my dizziness, I saw her other hand, undoing her belt.

"No!" I exclaimed, and quickly left her lips, removed her hands from me, and straightened my clothes.All these actions were completed in an instant, which made her feel very sudden. "You, what's wrong with you? Do you not like me?" Xiao Jing was about to cry, her expression was heartbreaking. "No, it's not. It's just that I haven't thought about it yet." I blushed and gasped. "You are a big man, and you don't suffer any disadvantages. What is there to consider?" Xiao Jing was a little angry. "Yes, I'm a big man, but I always have to think about it. A man should be responsible for his own actions, as well as for women." This is what I said in my heart.

"Then, who is the person you like in your heart? Can you tell me?" Xiao Jing's tears rolled down her cheeks while talking. "I..." I was at a loss for words, Yu Jingjing's playful and cute appearance appeared in my mind, but she was someone else's girlfriend, "Not yet..." Xiaojing looked at me affectionately, her expression couldn't tell whether it was sadness, joy, nostalgia, or sadness... "Taozi, you are a good person. One day you will understand me." She said without turning her head ran away. I was stunned and stayed in place for a long time without chasing her, letting the warmth of my body disappear in the cold air.A few minutes ago, there was still a passionate passion like a pair of lovers, but a few minutes later, things were different.Is life really like this?So real and so indifferent.

Zhang Da successfully sold the two steles stolen out of the warehouse to two families for a small profit.I was still in the dark, Brother Meng dared not speak out.Although he didn't really believe what the old Wangtou said, but the nervous expression on the old Wangtou didn't seem to be faked.Thinking of Zhang Da's usual words and deeds, he was really a bit ghostly.Anyway, just don't offend him. Sure enough, Xiaojing no longer cares about me.I haven't heard from her since the last time she ran away.When I was free, Brother Meng and Jingjing would often invite me out to play, playing billiards, watching videos, playing video games, roller skating, karaoke... I was both happy and uncomfortable being with them.I am happy that I can often see Jingjing's breathtakingly beautiful face; needless to say, I am uncomfortable, and I feel like a big 200-watt light bulb dangling around people every day.Fortunately, Jingjing doesn't think so, she will ask me to come with her for anything, regardless of whether Meng Gele is happy or not.Master Jingjing took one peach at a time, and he and I have become good friends. On the first day of the third month of the lunar calendar, although the beginning of spring has already passed, the snow has not melted, and the sky is not so cold.The weather in Northeast China is like this. If it is said to be cold, it will be cold in the first half of the year. It will not really get warmer until after the Labor Day. Brother Meng and I have work today, so we got busy early in the morning.The watchman's shift happened to be scheduled for Mr. Guan today.Teacher Guan and I have often exchanged secrets about the strange things we encountered recently, but we still haven't figured it out.Accountant Xu hasn't done anything special recently.It was eerily quiet here in the cemetery. My job today is rather tricky. It is the thing I don't like to do-describing monuments.Some old monuments in the cemetery have been around for a long time, and the handwriting on them will inevitably be mottled due to wind and rain. The filial sons and grandchildren feel that this is unsightly, so they will pay some money to ask for repainting.However, whether it is writing or drawing a stele, it needs to be turned down to be comfortable, but those old steles have been sealed with cement, so it is impossible to draw down, so I need to bring a brush and paint Go to the cemetery and paint the upright tombstone stroke by stroke.Especially when drawing near the stele pedestal, it is uncomfortable to hold the pen in any position.It only costs ten yuan to paint a stele in this way, which is very difficult and difficult.What's more, the weather hasn't warmed up yet, let alone writing, even if I just go to the cemetery for a while, I feel cold from the inside out. There is no way, I don’t want to return, I still have to do the work.I took the tools and went into the tomb alone.The small stele to be traced today is next to the cemetery on the west side, but there are not a few words, so it shouldn't take long.The cemetery was very quiet, and almost no one came to the cemetery on ordinary days like this, except for the crows flying high in the sky, sometimes making a few whines. I walked through the familiar corridor of the second district, came to the fourth row of monuments, compared the list in my hand, yes, it was the monument in front of me.I knelt down and began to trace the big characters, and started to trace the small characters next to it. "Original from Zaozhuang, Shandong Province..." With so many inscriptions written, the ones originally from Shandong, Liaoning and Jilin accounted for about 90%.It seems that Heilongjiang is really an immigrant province, and there are basically no locals.Small characters are much more difficult to describe than big characters, and I feel sore and backache before I finish writing a line.Straighten up and stretch, not to mention how comfortable it is. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that there was a woman sitting five or six meters away.This person came without a sound, and I was so unprepared that I was almost scared and fell straight down the aisle. I was quite frightened this time, my heart seemed to be stabbed suddenly by something, and it kept beating non-stop.A person is so close to me, I didn't even hear her coming.She was as motionless as a clay sculpture, with no expression on her face, just staring blankly at the monument in front of her.I stabilized my emotions and looked carefully at the mysterious woman in front of me: she was sitting in front of a tombstone, and there were some fruits placed on the pedestal, held by kraft paper.Oh, it turned out to be a person who went to the grave. Thinking of this, I felt a little calmer.Looking at her face, a young woman, about twenty-seven or eighteen years old, was very pale, as white as paper.Her hair was disheveled and she was wearing an outdated coat. I was scared again.If my memory is correct, isn’t this the woman standing at the entrance of Chaoyang Village on Laba night? Hitting a ghost once is not enough, and hitting twice, how did I offend others? I dare not continue working, and the only thought in my mind is to escape from here.However, if I want to leave the cemetery, I have to pass behind her.This is quite a challenge for me. Not caring so much, I covered the paint, put it next to the stele, and walked out quickly with a brush.When I passed behind her, I subconsciously looked at the monument in front of her—the tomb of Xiankao Zheng Xinyuan and Xianfei Zhang Shuqing. Although the name Zheng Xinyuan was enough to make me shudder, I still stood still.My intuition tells me that this Zheng Xinyuan has an extremely subtle relationship with me, or that all the strange things around me are caused by him.This is a great time to figure out these things.I don't believe that the woman in front of me is a ghost. Could she be Zheng Xinyuan's relative? After making up my mind for the hundredth time, I spoke to the "ghost" in front of me for the first time: "Hi, are you the family member of the deceased?" Despite my gentle tone of voice, despite all my preparations, I couldn't help but shiver when she turned her head to look at me.Her eyes had lost the luster of the living. "Well, yes. I am Zhang Shuqing engraved on this stele." She pointed to the three words Zhang Shuqing painted in red paint on the stele, her voice a little hoarse. I wasn't surprised, and felt somewhat relieved.I guessed right, this is Zheng Xinyuan's wife.I had long suspected that this series of weird events had something to do with this Zhang Shuqing, and later I suspected that Accountant Xu was up to something.Anyway, here's a clue. I don't know how to continue the question, but she started talking to me. "Young man, are you the one who wrote the stele?" "Well, yes." "Then when I don't have time to come up, you need to take care of this dead ghost." She pouted at the stone tablet in front of her, with a hint of resentment in her voice. This sentence gave me chills all over my body, but my mouth was still echoing her: "Yes, yes, I will stand here for a while when I have time." Now the other question I'm wondering is if it was her who was standing in the middle of the road looking at me that night.Why is she standing on the road leading to the cemetery in Chaoyang Village?Did she make mysterious footprints in the cemetery?I subconsciously glanced at her feet. I saw a pair of big feet.Her feet were noticeably larger than the average woman's, and she wore flat shoes, the kind of shoes a rough housewife often wears.How could such a foot be the owner of those high-heeled shoes in the snow?It seems I guessed wrong. "How do you remember to visit him in the cemetery today?" I implied that today is not a special day. "Oh, my family lives in Chaoyang Village not far from you, and you can't walk up and down the mountain for a few miles. I'll come up to see him when I'm free." Chaoyang Village, Chaoyang Village again, is almost becoming a base camp for weird things.But her words cleared up most of my doubts.I can finally confirm that she is not a female ghost. She stood up and said goodbye to me: "I'm going back, thank you for taking care of him for me." "Hmm." I nodded, not knowing what to say. She got up and walked out of the cemetery along the corridor.The footsteps were really light, and there was basically no sound. I let out a heavy breath and went about my business. I heard people in the cemetery say that eating melons, fruits and food from other people's graves is not only disrespectful to the dead, but also good for your body.I don't quite understand where this statement comes from, maybe it's an excuse people make for not wanting to waste those things.But when I left the cemetery, I didn't dare to take the fruit on Zheng Xinyuan's stele. When I got home, my dad said that there was a letter from me. It had been delivered for several days but he forgot to tell me. He just got it back from the factory today.I find it strange, and I haven't written to anyone for a long time.When I took it over and looked at the heavy one, it looked like there was cardboard inside, and then I remembered the photo of myself and Xiaojing. When chatting with my friends, I mentioned that ghosts are not creatures in the yang world, and even if they are photographed, they cannot be printed out.When I thought of opening the envelope in this section, I couldn't help but feel a little nervous.What if I'm the only one in this group photo?As the photos were slowly pulled out from the envelope, my heart was already in my throat.Fortunately, Xiao Jing's sweet smile has appeared on the photo.Thank God, I finally let go of my heart, as long as Xiaojing is not a ghost. The whole picture was taken out, and it was really good.Those dead branches in the background with a little residual snow are very artistic, and Xiao Jing is also very photogenic, looking like a certain movie star.Suddenly I froze and couldn't move. Suddenly, I realized that there was no me in the photo. Am I a ghost?Ridiculous, it turns out that the ghost I have been looking for is myself?But if I'm really a ghost, how can I still live in the world?Why can people still see me?When did I die?Do ghosts lose their memories of dying?If I'm not a ghost, what's the matter with the photo?It's obviously a photo of me and Xiaojing, but where am I?Where am I?For a while, I fell into endless confusion. I felt like crying but wanted to cry but had no tears.I don't even know what to do now, how to prove that I am a ghost or not? Maybe I should find an expert to help me comprehend these experiences, but where can I find such an expert?Anyway, Qingming is approaching, and the work in the cemetery is busy, so I can't leave for the time being.Put work first, in case you are not a ghost. On April 4, 1996, the Ching Ming Festival, the weather turned warm and cold, and the first spring rain came to the earth.The breeze is blowing, bringing the earthy smell of spring to the heart.Except for some snow in the mountains that refuses to leave, most of the snow on the surface has almost melted.The thawing of the permafrost has brought muddy ground, especially on hillsides. People walking have to wear rain boots. Today is a big day at the cemetery.Tomb-sweeping Day and Ghost Festival are the busiest two days of the year in the entire cemetery.We came to the cemetery to gather at four o'clock in the morning, and the director personally assigned tasks to everyone.Brother Meng and I are in charge of inspecting the cemetery at any time to ensure the normal order of the cemetery and the safety of public property; the accountant and Zhang Da guard the office, responding to various inquiries and visitors who go through formalities; the two watchmen, Lao Wangtou and Teacher Guan are responsible Command the parking of social vehicles; the director is responsible for the overall coordination and scheduling.After the arrangements were made, the director distributed walkie-talkies to each colleague and explained how to use them.I haven't seen this kind of formation yet, and I don't know how big a situation I have to deal with, as if I am facing a big enemy. At five o'clock in the morning, two military vehicles drove up from under the cemetery and stopped on the hillside on the east side of the cemetery.There were about 50 or 60 armed police soldiers on and off the car.It turned out that the funeral directorate had borrowed these two vehicles from the Armed Police Brigade in order to maintain the normal order of the cemetery.I looked at the freshness and thought to myself, isn’t it just a tomb sweeping in Qingming, it is necessary to make it so grand? Just after six o'clock, social vehicles continued to come up, and the cemetery began to be full of people.Except for the high wall in the northeast corner of the cemetery, which was unguarded, the armed police stood neatly around the entire cemetery to form a human wall.Brother Meng and I wore staff badges on our chests to check the visitors entering the cemetery at the gate to prevent them from bringing in fire and paper. In order to prevent fires, burning paper is prohibited in the cemetery. As the flow of people continued to increase, the two old men were also sweating.The open space in front of the cemetery simply couldn't accommodate these cars, and the cars behind were still pouring in one after another.People carry all kinds of fruit snacks to express their condolences to their loved ones on this special day.The gate of the cemetery was almost burst.The director notified us on the walkie-talkie that he had sent two officers and soldiers to guard the gate, and told us to inspect the cemetery immediately.Brother Meng and I temporarily assigned a task, and we drilled east and west into the crowded tombs. I have never seen such a spectacular scenery, crowds all over the mountains and plains, and the sound of crying all over the mountains and plains.Bouquets of melons, fruits and food are placed in front of each tomb.The family members of the deceased took their families and told their stories on the tombs of their respective families.I seem to be an outsider, shuttling between these stories.No one paid attention to me, and no one felt my presence.At this moment, I found the feeling of being a ghost.Maybe I'm just a ghost.Occasionally, I saw those tombstones that no one patronized, sandwiched in this lively scene, it was extremely bleak. No one came in front of Zheng Xinyuan's stele, the third one in the fourth row in the second district.And the several steles next to it are covered with flowers and filled with melons and fruits.I suddenly felt cold, and thought of Zhang Shuqing's sad eyes.Why didn't she come today?She didn't come on such an important day.Taking advantage of no one's attention, I took a bouquet of flowers from the tombstone next to him and placed it in front of his monument, bowing respectfully. The eastern cemetery became chaotic, full of voices.Brother Meng's voice was a little trembling, and he yelled at me through the walkie-talkie: "Taozi, come quickly, a group of ghosts are attacking." Everyone didn't know what happened there, and they were all whispering.I separated from the crowd and ran over.The east side of the cemetery was full of people's exclamation. It turned out that dozens of adults and children crawled in from the east wall like headless chickens.I had never seen this scene before, and I was stunned.Those who climbed the wall were dressed as villagers, there were some teenage boys and girls, and even a few old people.In order to avoid landslides, the wall on the east side was built with a slope, like a dam.Although it is relatively easy to climb, it still has certain dangers.Could it be that so many people are possessed by ghosts and gods? Brother Meng shouted loudly: "Don't come up, don't come up." But no one paid attention to it, and they continued to climb up like crazy.At this time, several armed police also came to reinforce, and together with me blocked the people who had already climbed up.Director Sui began to shout with a megaphone: "Everyone, don't panic, don't panic, we will take care of it. Please trust us." Seeing that officers and soldiers were preventing them from entering the cemetery, these people just sat there and refused to leave, each with several big bags in their hands.Only then did I understand the situation. It turned out that they were all farmers from nearby villages, and they came here to snatch the melons, fruits and snacks in the cemetery.Last year's Ghost Festival, the offerings were looted by the villagers before the people who went to the grave had left, which caused a very bad social impact on the cemetery.But at that time, there were only a few people in the cemetery to maintain order, and these crazy farmers could not be stopped at all. This year, these villagers not only came to loot food again, but the number of them has increased compared with last year.Fortunately, the director had the foresight to use two cars of armed police to maintain order.Seeing that officers and soldiers were standing around the cemetery, they had no chance, so they rushed up from the wall, trying to sneak into the crowd to fish in troubled waters.Fortunately, they were bumped into by Brother Meng during their charge. There was a mess outside, and the house was not idle.The room was full of people, one group after another, let alone no place to sit, there was no place to stand.The accountant and Zhang Da sat face to face, dealing with various questions raised by the visitors.Zhang Da is a good hand in sales, staring at his thief eyes made his saliva splash.Accountant Xu was very busy opening an account and collecting money. Director Sun also visited the cemetery in person in the afternoon.He was very satisfied when he saw that the items on the grave were arranged in an orderly manner, there was no open flame in the cemetery, and dozens of armed police soldiers stood neatly all over the cemetery.The director chatted with him for a few words, and he left early.When he walked down the cemetery, he saw me sitting and resting at the gate. I quickly ejected from the chair and stood upright: "Hello, Director Sun!" Director Sun looked at me cheerfully, he always looked so amiable, "Taozi, right? You are young and promising, and your handwriting is good. It adds a lot to our cemetery." I was a little embarrassed: "The director is too good." He patted my shoulder, leaned close to me and whispered a few words: "Taozi, I heard that you have had a lot of contact with Mr. Guan recently?" I know Mr. Guan used to be his chemistry teacher. Perhaps Mr. Guan had talked with him about our friendship, so he replied with a smile: "Yes, we are very good friends." The grown-up Sun's reaction was beyond my expectation, he became a little serious, sighed and said, "Oh, Taozi, I'm a little older than you, so you have to call me big brother when it comes to talking about it. Big brother advises you ..." I was baffled, and stared blankly at him, listening to what he said next. "Let's avoid interacting with Teacher Guan in the future." "Why?" I couldn't help blurting out, completely forgetting the etiquette. Director Sun smiled again and said, "Human beings and ghosts have different paths." Then he walked away from me leisurely, leaving me standing still. What does this sentence mean? It is clear that one of Mr. Guan and I is a ghost. Teacher Guan is certainly not a ghost. He is such a kind elder, and he is also a hardcore materialist.Then there may be only one left - I am a ghost!Director Sun thinks I'm a ghost?Don't want me close to his teacher?Well, it turns out that he is the extraterrestrial expert I was looking for, how could he see through my identity at a glance?My whole body was suddenly covered with chills, and I was completely chilled from the inside to the outside, and the things that happened from years ago to the present kept flashing in my mind. Why, why are there so many horrible things happening around me?Why did I go to the cemetery on Laba night?Why can't Teacher Guan see me at night?Why can't the photos I've taken come out at all?Why did Director Sun say that "humans and ghosts have different paths"?Are these all accidental?No, definitely not. There is only one answer - I am really a ghost. If I had watched that American movie called "The Sixth Sense of Spirituality" at that time, I would definitely feel that this movie was made for myself.In the movie directed by Nat Shyamalan, Dr. Malcolm is an outstanding child and family psychologist who has helped many troubled children get back on track.He faced a case, an eleven-year-old boy named Cole with yin and yang eyes, who had long been haunted by the ghosts of unjust deaths.Although Cole gradually accepted the facts accompanied by the doctor's enlightenment, just when the whole thing seemed to be about to come to an end, Dr. Malcolm made an even more astonishing discovery, that is-it turned out that he himself was a ghost. But when did I become a ghost?Since my first encounter with a supernatural event? The first time I encountered a strange thing was that night in Laba.I sent Xiaojing home, and then, a ghost car took me to the cemetery.If I go by my guess, I've been a ghost since then.I didn't know what anyone had done to me that night, for forty minutes there was nothing.I often hear old people say that Laba is the coldest day of the year, when the yin energy is strong and the yang energy is weak. I actually went to the cemetery, a place with the most yin energy, at the time when the yin energy is at its peak.Yes, it must be so.It turned out that Mr. Guan couldn't see me at the time not because he was sleepwalking, but because I was a ghost.In that case, the owner of the pair of footprints may be the murderer who turned me from a human into a ghost.Maybe it was her who killed me in the cemetery that night, but I maintained a human consciousness and thought I was still alive. Thinking of this, I was devastated and my hands and feet were cold.I just turned nineteen years old, and there are still so many beautiful days waiting for me, how could I pass away like this.Buddhism talks about the six realms of reincarnation, including the realm of heaven, the realm of Asura, the realm of humanity, the realm of hungry ghosts, the realm of animals, and the realm of hell. Which one am I to count?Why am I still exposed to the sun?Could it be that I can only linger in the world for a few more days? I turned out to be a ghost.And you, you are actually reading the words written by ghosts! My heart is like a leaf in the autumn wind, floating and falling, falling into the bottomless abyss.I even wonder if I still have a heart. If I am a ghost, it means that the original me is dead and no longer in this world.Where is my physical body?Is it buried in this cemetery, or somewhere in the cemetery?Yes, or right in the middle of the grass at the top of the cemetery.Maybe Accountant Xu was burning paper for me that day.Yes, otherwise, what was she doing alone in the wasteland on the fifteenth day of the first lunar month? Accountant Xu, accountant Xu is the ghost who killed me. But she, why did she want to kill me?We have no grievances or enmities.As the saying goes: "Don't do bad things for people, and don't be afraid of ghosts calling at the door in the middle of the night."I asked myself, I have never done anything wrong to others, even if I did something wrong, I am still a child. I suddenly remembered that I saw her and Zhang Da being intimate in the taxi that night in Laba, and she saw me too.The way she looked at me at that time... Oh, is she afraid that I will make their adultery public and make her murderous?Such a vicious woman. Although there are so many unfaceable facts in front of me, and I don't even know whether I can continue to live in this world, but I still don't want to give up.I have always believed that being a human being must be meaningful, otherwise it is tantamount to walking dead.Today I have become a walking dead, what am I afraid of.At least I can prove a few things that I didn't know before.First, it turns out that there are really ghosts in the world.Second, it turns out that there are still ghosts who don't know how to become ghosts.Third, ghosts can also exist among humans for some reason. At least, I still exist in this world.The thing I was most afraid of when I was young was death. When I was young, I asked my father more than once: "What does it feel like after death?" My father would say: "After death, there is no feeling, just like sleeping. But this It’s been too long, and I’ll never wake up.” I would go on to say, “If I don’t feel it anymore, wouldn’t I be gone? I’m afraid.” My father would comfort me and say, “What are you afraid of? , Dad will die before you, Dad is not afraid, what are you afraid of." Although I didn't say anything, the more I thought about it, the more afraid I became.Now I don't have to be afraid.At least I know that after death, people don't need to sleep that sleep that they will never wake up from. Thinking of this, I am not so sad.Now I think of what I have to do: figure out who killed me, how to get to where I should go, and how not to hurt the people around me. The people who went to the graves on the cemetery basically disappeared, leaving behind flowers, fruits, and snacks all over the mountains and plains. Each of the staff members brought several sacks of loot from the mountain, including apples, bananas, melons, watermelons, grapes... Anyway, they are all expensive fruits in this season.Each of them had a smile on their faces, and their stomachs were already filled with all kinds of delicious food.However, two-thirds of the food in the cemetery has not been transported out. If the villagers come to loot it again at this time, everyone really has nothing to do. The comrades in the armed police are really strict in discipline. Except for the lunch box at noon, they didn't take a needle or a thread from here, and they didn't eat a bite of fruit from the tomb.After the fellow villagers were persuaded to leave, they also returned to the team with the car.The director was very grateful, and kept praising the people's soldiers.I was the only one with a frowning face in the entire cemetery.Ah, I'm sorry, I'm used to it, I'm still used to calling myself a human being.I tried my best not to show that there was anything unusual about me. The number of vehicles at the gate of the cemetery gradually decreased one by one, and the two old men breathed a sigh of relief. They were exhausted today.I called Teacher Guan aside, lowered my voice and said, "Mr. Guan, I have made some new discoveries." "Oh, really?" Teacher Guan was very surprised, "Tell me, kid, what do you know?" Naturally, I can't tell him that I am a ghost. Not only will I frighten the old man, but I will also immediately lose my only ally. "I'm becoming more and more suspicious that Accountant Xu is a ghost." As soon as I opened my mouth, I was startled. "Look, on the eighth day of the twelfth lunar month in the lunar calendar, when the Yin Qi was extremely strong, those strange things happened that night. Those footprints are a pair of tall It was left with women's shoes. I remember that she also wore a pair of high heels in those days. Also, I heard from the director and the others that they went to Zhang Dakai's karaoke bar on Laba day, and it was after nine o'clock in the evening when they broke up. It is said that she took a taxi home by herself, so the time is more consistent." Teacher Guan was overwhelmed by my reasoning, probably because the more he listened to it, the more reasonable he felt. "Taozi, what do you think she wants to do in the cemetery?" There was a sneer at the corner of my mouth: "Kill." "Kill? Who did you kill?" Cold sweat broke out on Teacher Guan's forehead. I paused, and of course I couldn’t say that the person she was going to kill was me, so I made up a lie: “I don’t know who she was going to kill, but it seems that she succeeded that day, and she might have buried him in the cemetery In that wilderness above." "Oh, that's why she was burning paper furtively in the wasteland that day." Teacher Guan suddenly realized. "However, why did she put you in the cemetery that day?" Teacher Guan discovered a new problem. Of course, I can't say that I was taken up the mountain to kill me, so I can only say: "There are still many mysteries that have not been solved, but what I know should be correct. Be careful of accountant Xu, she is really a ghost." Teacher Guan said with a smile: "Taozi, you are a smart kid, and your analysis makes sense. Just one thing I want to remind you is that there are no ghosts in this world. You said that it is not impossible for Accountant Xu to kill people, but This thing is not logical at all. I think you have watched too many cartoons. And from your analysis just now, her behavior is not like a ghost, but more like a human. You think, only she is human How could a ghost do this when she felt panicked after doing something wrong and burned paper money for the dead? We just need to pay more attention to her." Teacher Guan still used his materialism to educate me.I almost wanted to tell him she must be a ghost because she killed me in an unconventional way.But he swallowed the words again, and just said: "Teacher Guan, believe me, she must be a ghost. Stay away from her, don't get close to her again." "En!" Teacher Guan nodded his head as an answer, but his attitude was obviously not that serious. He has his own ideas on this matter. Don't look at Accountant Xu who is very busy, but she is always in a low mood.最近这段时间对她来说要多倒霉就有多倒霉。从初八那天主任开始和她冷战。别看隋主任这个人窝囊，但戴绿帽子他却实在接受不了，二手绿帽子的滋味更是难受。张达倒是从那次以后对自己还算不错，可是他怪点子特别多，经常不合时宜地打电话约她出来做那个事情，害得徐会计提心吊胆，生怕丈夫发现自己的事情。张达的原则是“光脚的不怕穿鞋的”，自己的名声反正已经不怎么样了，不在乎多一个少一个。徐会计有些后悔自己怎么和这个不知死活的色狼搞上了关系，他好像怎样都得不到满足，但事已至此，又有什么办法呢。 比三角关系更让她恼火的是，不知道怎么自己最近经常出现一些幻觉。腊八那天在出租车上就出现了特别严重的一次，吓得她年都没过好。为什么自己会看到那些血淋淋的场面，这些是否预示着什么呢？年关过后，她偷着找了一位算卦先生给看了一下，那位高人说她招到鬼了，必须要在正月十五那天阳气最足的时候到墓地里烧纸敬神。不管有没有鬼，不管是哪一个鬼，“宁信其有，不信其无”。徐会计果然在正月十五那天带了一袋黄纸拿到公墓上面去烧，没想到她的举动却被关老师抓个正着。于是就发生了前文的那一幕，弄得“麻秆打狼两头害怕”。徐会计这人别看勾引男人有一套，但胆子却不是一般的小，非常惜命。烧完纸以后幻觉果然再也没发生，治好了病她千恩万谢地去找算卦先生，把他奉为神人。那个算卦的也是个二把刀。他哪知道徐会计是什么病，让她上坟烧香无非是骗两个钱儿花罢了，谁知歪打正着把徐会计给治好了，自然也沾沾自喜。 话说徐会计和张达总算打发完了咨询交款的那些人，日头已经偏西了。中午大家也就对付着吃了点盒饭，此时还真是感到有些疲倦，外面又恢复了安静。张达凑到徐会计旁边，手从后面直接按在她的胸部，吓了徐会计一跳。 “美人儿，今晚咱俩去山里打个野炮如何？我从哥们那儿借一辆切诺基来。”张达淫笑着说。 公墓这块地儿其实还是不错的，依山傍水风景秀丽，空气也不错，再加上人烟稀少，周围的一些树林就成了很多野鸳鸯苟合之地。老王头有时到周围的林子里转转，回来经常要骂世风日下。因为那些林子里遍地都是卫生纸、避孕套、塑料床单。晴天的时候还看不出来人都藏在哪里，有时赶上下雨可有热闹看了，常常能浇出来好几对儿。 天气冷的时候有人就在车里解决。常常可以看到一辆车子开到林子边上停住，过上个把钟头再开走。这就是张达说的打野炮。 徐会计哪有这个心情。她对张达嗔道：“达哥，你饶了我吧，今天太累了，身体不舒服。放开我别这样，一会儿他们就回来了。”她试图移开张达的手，但他那只咸猪手像是狗皮膏药，粘上了就拿不下来。 张达皮笑肉不笑地小声说：“我可是特意为这事儿借来的车，别辜负了我的一片苦心。再说，今天是清明节，单位这么忙，你回家晚点你家那位也不会怀疑的。” 徐会计还想推辞，可张达脸上已泛起了寒意，“别婆婆妈妈的，我是什么人你也知道。要是不满足我的要求，我就把你和主任那点事儿抖出去。” 徐会计一愣，“你怎么知道我和主任？我和主任哪有什么事呀。” “别卖关子了，我早就看出你们之间有事儿了。看最近老隋对我那态度，一看就是吃醋了。” “好吧，我答应你。”徐会计无奈地点点头，她实在不知道该如何摆脱这个恶棍了。 “这就好嘛。”张达在她的脸颊上亲了一下。 终于到了下班时间，主任表扬了今天大家的表现，还特意给大家开了个绿灯，可以随便往家里拿吃的。工作人员们都欣喜若狂，主任、张达、我、孟哥、老王头，每个人都拿了好几个大口袋，使出浑身解数装到自己不能再拿为止，再各自坐车回家。公墓上只留下关老师值夜班，徐会计推说还有一些账务要整理没有和大家一起下山。张达在临走的时候冲着徐会计挤了挤眼睛。 天色渐暗，徐会计还在办公室里忙碌。她把柜子里的账本都倒出来，重新分类再装起来。虽然看似在辛勤地工作，但动作却又那么的心不在焉。这一切都被关老师看在眼里。 自打上次徐会计荒地烧纸以后，关老师对她就一直怀有戒心。今天听了我的分析，心里更加有底了。关老师心里想：你害了我在家躺了半个多月，我也不能轻饶了你。一有机会被我逮住，我就来个“鲁迅踢鬼”，让你下不来台。 五点半钟了，夕阳的余晖只剩下最后的一抹，转眼就要沉入西山了。 徐会计挎好手包匆忙地和关老师告辞，说先生会开车过来接她，她去路口迎一下。关老师嘱咐她把属于她的那两袋子水果拿走，徐会计心中有鬼，连忙说不用了，说一个人拎着大袋子出门不方便，东西可以明天让主任帮着带一下。关老师也就作罢。 徐会计沿着山路向下走，过了山坡四下张望确定周围没人，转进了西侧的松树林。 最后一抹夕阳也失去了光彩，暮色笼罩着大地，像一只大手从天上压下来。一个人影远远地跟在徐会计身后。