Chapter 47 Chapter Forty Seven

On the following night, Sardist put on a brand new set of leather pants, and his body froze, feeling an indescribably hard lower body.He knew that it was Bella's blood that nourished him, gave him all his strength, and made him complete. He cleared his throat and buttoned the front button, trying not to cry out like a weakling. "Thank you for sending these, 'note'." Butch nodded: "It's okay. Are you going to try to disappear and go home with a 'poof'? I drove the Escalade. If you think it's okay, you can take my car there." Sadist pulled the black long-collared sweater over his head, put on his riding boots, and stepped outside.

"Asa? Asa? Dude?" He looked back at Butch, and blinked silently a few times: "What did you say? What's wrong?" "Want to take my car home?" For the first time in the ten minutes he had entered the room, Sardist had looked at Butch.He was about to answer the human's question, but his instinct was suddenly touched. He nodded slightly, sniffed again, and looked at the man again.Damn it... he cursed inwardly. "'Tiaozi', where have you been since I last saw you?" "Nowhere." "Your taste is different." Butch blushed: "New aftershave."

"No, no, not that..." "So, do you want me to give you a ride?" Butch's tan eyes hardened.It seemed unwilling to let him get closer by even a centimeter. Saddist shrugged. "Okay, fine. Let's go to Ferry. We'll go with you." Fifteen minutes later, they started the car and left the clinic.On the way to the fraternity mansion, Sardist sat in the back seat of the Escalade, watching the passing snow.It was snowing again outside, flakes of snow drifted in flat, and the SUV sped on Route 22.He could hear Ferry and Butch talking quietly in the front seat, but the voices sounded far away.In fact, everything seemed...far out of his sight, out of reach...

"How wonderful to be home, gentlemen." Butch said and parked the car in the courtyard of the manor. God, they're home already? The three of them got out of the car together and walked towards the mansion, the freshly rolled snow creaking under their boots.As soon as they entered the front hall, the women in the house greeted them, or rather, Ferry.Mary and Beth put their arms around the brother and spoke words of welcome. Ferry also took the women's hands, and Saddist stepped back into the shadows.He watched secretly, imagining what it would be like if he was held by them, and he also hoped that someone would welcome him back like this.

In Ferry's embrace, there was an awkward pause as Mary and Beth looked back at him.The two women quickly averted their eyes to avoid meeting his. "Well, Rhys is upstairs," Beth said, "waiting for you with the other brothers." "Any news from Thor?" Ferry asked. "No, it hurts everyone. And John." "I'll see the kid later." Mary and Beth gave Ferry a final hug, and he and Butch walked upstairs together, with Saddiste following. "Saddist?" Beth's voice came from behind, and he turned his head.She folded her arms across her chest, and Mary stood beside her, looking equally tense.

"We are delighted that you came back alive," said the Queen. Saddist frowned, knowing that he didn't mean it.He couldn't imagine that they would enjoy having him by his side. But Mary said, "I lit a candle for you, and prayed that you could go home safely." Candles... lit for him?Just for his?Blood welled up on his face, and for the first time he felt that kindness would be so heavy, and he also felt a little pathetic. "Thank you." He bowed to both of them and ran up the stairs, convinced his face had swollen to the color of a ruby.God... maybe someday he'll get better at these relationships.

It's just that when he walked into Reese's study and felt the eyes of all his brothers, he thought, maybe he wasn't ready yet.He couldn't accept the gaze of others calmly.It was too much for him to bear, too reckless and naked.His hands began to tremble, and he could only stuff them into his pockets, and then walked to the corner where he often stayed, away from other people. "I don't want anyone out fighting tonight," Reese announced. "We have too many thoughts on our minds right now to be productive. I want you all back in the house by four in the morning. Wait until the sun We'll all be mourning Wells' funeral all day at Ascension. I hope you'll have enough to eat and drink until then. As for her ritual of entering the void, we can't do it without Thor. It’s going on, so it can only be postponed.”

"I can't believe that no one knows where he went?" Ferry said. Wei Xiaosi lit a hand-rolled cigarette: "I went to his house every night, and there was still no sign of returning. His dog servant had never seen him or heard from him. He left a dagger, a weapon, Clothes and his car. He could be anywhere." "What about training?" Ferry asked. "Should we continue?" Reese shook his head: "I really want to continue, but we are currently short of manpower. I don't want you to be overworked. Especially since you still need time to recover..."

"I can help," Saddist interrupted. All heads turned towards him in unison.A look of disbelief on the face that might go on to a roar of laughter. He cleared his throat: "I mean, Ferry can take care of things, but he has to take care of the office shit first, because I can't read. But I can use knives, you know, fists, and guns And bombs. I can help with the body training class, and the part about using weapons." No one answered, so he just looked down, "Well, maybe not. Whatever, it's nothing." The silence that followed made his heart itch.He moved his feet to and fro, and looked at the door.

Damn it, he thought, I should keep my mouth shut. "I think that's fine," Rhys said slowly, "but are you sure you'd be interested?" Sadist shrugged: "I can try." More silence. "Okay... that's it. Thank you for helping." "Of course, uh, no problem." Half an hour later, when everyone parted, Sardist was still the first to leave the study.He didn't want to explain to the other brothers about volunteering or having other ideas or whatever.He knew everyone was curious about his decision, and probably waiting to see how he messed up the whole thing.

He went back to his room and armed himself.A difficult task lay before him, a long and arduous task.He wished he could throw it away. He walked into the closet and came to the deepest weapon cabinet, his eyes fixed on the purple silk nightgown that Bella often wore.A few days earlier, he had thrown the clothes in the bedroom bin, and Fritz had apparently picked them up again and hung them up again.Sadist took a few steps forward, touched the clothes, then took them off the hanger, put them on his arms, and felt the soft silk fabric.He brought his nightgown to his nose, took a deep breath, and inhaled her smell and his concern for her together. He was about to hang up his clothes when he suddenly caught a glimpse of a bright spot on the ground, which landed at his feet.He bent over and Bella left the necklace behind. His fingers ran for a long time over the frail and fragile necklace, watching the diamonds sparkle dreamily; he put the necklace down, grabbed his weapon, and walked back to the bedroom.He was about to leave immediately, but then he caught a glimpse of the mistress's skull lying beside the bunk. He crossed the room, knelt before the skull, and stared into the hollows where the eye sockets were.After a while, he walked into the bathroom, grabbed a towel, walked over to his skull, and wrapped it in a fluffy towel.Grab it with one hand and walk quickly.Like a walking race, run through the hallway with statues, down the huge staircase to the first floor, through the dining room and butler's lounge, and then through the kitchen.The stairs to the basement were dark, and he went straight down without lighting a lamp.The roar of the coal-burning antique furnace grew louder the closer it got. After approaching the giant steel beast, he felt warm, as if the guy was standing in front of him alive, emitting endless heat.He bent down and looked into the furnace through the small glass window.The orange flame licks and devours the coals it acquires, and is always hungry for more food.He pulled the latch and opened the oven door, and a burst of heat rushed into his face.He threw the towel-wrapped skull in without hesitation. Without waiting to see the skull burn away, he turned and walked towards the stairs. When he came to the porch, he stopped suddenly and went up to the second floor.At the end of the stairs, he turned to the right, walked down the corridor, and knocked on one of the doors. Ricky opened the door, a towel around his waist.Seeing the person who appeared at the door, he looked a little surprised: "Hey, my brother." "Can I talk to Mary for a few minutes?" Ricky frowned, but turned around and called, "Mary, Asa wants to see you." Mary pulled her silk nightgown and tied her belt, and walked to the door: "Hi." "Would you mind talking alone for a while?" Saddist said in his mouth, and glanced at Ricky. The brother's browbones were lowered even further.Sadist thought, indeed, a man with a bond would not want his woman to be alone with other men.Especially, that man is him. He touched the short hair on his head: "Just say it in the corridor, it won't take long." Mary stepped between the two of them and gently pushed her Heron back into the room: "It's all right, Ricky. Go back and put the water in the bathtub." Ricky's eyes went white, and the beast appeared.After a heavy pause, he kissed Mary's throat before closing the door. "What's the matter?" she asked.Sadist could smell the fear radiating from her, but was brave enough to look him in the eye. He hadn't felt bad about her all along, he thought. "I heard you taught autistic kids." "Ah... yes, I taught." "Are they slow to learn?" She frowned: "well, yes, sometimes." "Does it..." He coughed a few times. "Does it drive you crazy. I mean, does it annoy them?" "No, if I'm going to be disappointed, it's because we can't find a suitable way for them to learn." He nodded, then looked away from her gray eyes to focus intently on the doorframe next to her head. "Why do you ask, Sadist?" He took a deep breath and let out all his troubles.After finishing speaking, he glanced at her cautiously again. She put her hand over her mouth, but the kindness in her eyes was burning like sunlight: "Oh, Sardiste, yes... yes, I will." Ferry shook his head and got into the Escalade: "Be sure to go to 'Zero Sum'." Tonight, it is necessary for him to go there. "I probably understand." Wei Xiaos said and sat behind the driver's seat, and Butch also jumped into the back seat. The three of them went to the city together, all silent.There wasn't even the blaring of the music in the car. Too many people died, too many losses, Ferry was calculating in his mind, Wells, and that young girl, Sharel.Vishows returned her body to her parents.Tormont's disappearance is no different from death, plus Bella's departure. All kinds of sadness made him think of Sadist again.He would have liked to believe that Saddist was on the way to some kind of recovery, or finding a way out.But expecting him to change his mind is totally groundless.Sooner or later the brother still needs another painful stimulation, maybe it's just a matter of time. Ferry wiped his face, thinking of every night for hundreds of years, but he also looked extremely weird and anxious... Although the wound on the outside has healed, the unhealed wound in his heart is still aching.He couldn't concentrate.He needs help. Twenty minutes later, Weishows illegally parked the car at the back door of "Zero Sum".The bodyguard let them in without saying a word.The three of them went directly to the VIP area.Ferry ordered a martini.After the wine was delivered, he drank it all in one go. He needs help, double help.Otherwise...he's going to explode. "Sorry guys," he murmured, and walked straight to Ravande's office in the back.Two burly giants nodded to him, and one of them said a few words into the intercom.In less than a second, he was released. Ferry walked into the cavernous office and stared straight at Revander.The latter, wearing a handmade striped suit, sat behind a desk and looked more like a businessman than a drug dealer. The corners of Ravende's mouth curled up slightly: "Why is that beautiful long hair gone?" Ferry glanced back, confirmed that the outside door was closed, and took out three hundred-dollar bills: "I want to order 'Hai'." Ravendell's light purple eyes narrowed: "What did you say?" "Heroin." "you sure?" I don't know, Fei Rui replied in his heart, but he said in a positive tone: "Yes." Revande kept stroking Moses' dry head, then leaned over and pressed a button on the intercom. "Lali, I want a 'queen' worth 300 yuan here. Make sure to bring me the most delicate goods." After finishing speaking, Revande leaned back comfortably in the chair, "To be blunt, I don't think you should bring Go back with that stuff. You don't need that stuff." "I don't need to follow your instructions. But you told me to be strong." "I take it back." "I thought synesthetes had no conscience." "I'm only half blood, so I still have a little bit of conscience." "You're lucky." Ravende's face sank, his eyes turned to an evil pure purple in an instant, and then he smiled to cover up: "No...you are all my God of Wealth." It didn't take long for Larry to come over and the deal didn't last long.The small, sealed package fits just fine in Ferry's inner bag. He was about to leave, but Ravend said: "This stuff is very pure, pure enough to kill. You can mix it with smoke, or dissolve it and then inject it. But I would suggest you to use a safe point of smoking, which can control Good dose." "You are very familiar with your own goods." "Oh, I never touch those poisonous things, it will kill you. But I've heard other people say that, so I'll give you some advice." In fact, his demeanor gave Ferry a tingle of disgust through his skin. Back at the fraternity table, he couldn't wait to go home.He wanted to completely anesthetize himself and immerse himself in a deep hallucination.He'd heard that's what heroin does.And he knew that he bought enough doses to take him to heaven several times over. "What's the matter with you?" Butch asked him, "you've been fidgeting all night." "Nothing." He unconsciously reached into the inner pocket of his clothes, touched the goods he just bought, and began to beat his feet under the table. I'm an addict, he defines himself. He doesn't have much to miss and take care of.Death was always with him, and the stench of grief and failure polluted every inch of the air he breathed.He needed to get off this crazy train for a while, even if it meant another wacky ride. Fortunately, or rather unfortunately, Butch and Vishows didn't linger too long at the club, and by midnight they were heading home together.The three of them walked into the front hall, Ferry clenched his knuckles tightly, and there was an urge to get out of his clothes under his clothes.He couldn't wait to be alone in the room. "Do you want to eat?" Wei Xiaos asked, yawning. "Of course," Butch replied.Vishows headed for the kitchen, turning around and asking, "Ferry, do you want to come with us?" "No, see you later." He walked to the stairs, feeling Butch's eyes follow him. "Yo, Ferry," Butch called. Ferry cursed in a low voice and turned around.His mania ignited under Butch's aware gaze. Butch knows, Ferry thought.Butch had vaguely guessed what he was going to do. "Are you sure you don't want to eat something with us?" The human raised his voice. Ferry didn't even bother to think about it, or because he refused to think about it: "Well, sure." "Take care my brother, some things are hard to undo." Ferry thought about Saddiste, and about himself, and about that awful future.But now, he has no interest in fighting. "I still don't know?" He said and turned to leave. Ferry went to his room, closed the door, and threw the fur coat on the chair.He took out the small bag, took out some tobacco leaves and rolling papers, and rolled a cigarette.He didn't even think about using injections, which is basically no different from an addict. At least not the first time. He licked the edge of the cigarette paper, squeezed the sticky mouth firmly, then walked to the edge of the bed and sat on the pillow.He picked up the lighter and flicked it, the flame jumped up, and then he stuffed the cigarette between his lips, approaching the bright yellow flame. The sudden knock on the door made him annoyed, damn Butch. He pressed the lighter and asked angrily, "What's the matter?" There was no response from outside the door.With a cigarette in his mouth, he strode across the room and yanked the door open. John stumbled back. Ferry took a deep breath, and then again.Calm down, he has to calm down. "What's the matter, boy?" he asked, holding the cigarette between his forefingers. John took out a notepad, wrote a few lines, and turned it over to him: "Sorry to bother you. I need someone to help me guide me in Jiu-Jitsu. Your Jiu-Jitsu is very good." "Oh... yes. Um, not tonight, John, sorry. I'm... a bit busy." The child nodded, dawdled a few times, waved goodbye to him, turned and left. Ferry closed the door and locked the lock, walked back to the bed, lit the lighter again, and stuffed the cigarette to his mouth... He froze before the flame touched the cigarette. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't... He began to gasp for breath, his palms were soaked in sweat, from his upper lip to his armpits to his chest, the sweat was pouring out endlessly. what the fuck am i doingWhat am I trying to do? Addiction...damn addiction, like a bad junkie, damn it.Bringing heroin into the king's residence?Smoking something like this on a frat estate?Defiled himself just because he was too weak to take what was happening? No, he can't do that.He could not allow his brother, his lord, to be humiliated like this.He's addicted to "red smoke," which is bad enough, let alone heroin. Shocked from head to toe, Ferry rushed to the cabinet, grabbed the packet of heroin, and slammed into the bathroom like an arrow.He threw the cigarettes and the heroin down the toilet and flushed them twice in a row. Then he stumbled out of the room and sprinted down the hallway. John was halfway up the wide staircase when Ferry came round the corner when he slipped and fell straight down.Ferry quickly wrapped the child with his body, and hugged him hard, those fragile bones might be strangled by him. Ferry's head was pressed against the child's shoulder, still in shock: "Oh, God... thank you. Thank you, thank you..." Those tiny arms hugged him, and the tiny palms patted his back. Ferry separated the two and wiped his eyes: "I think the timing is good tonight and can help you practice your posture. Well, it's also suitable for me. Come on." The child looked at him... something seemed to be realized in his eyes.John opened his mouth and spoke silently.Even if there is no sound, it still brings incomparable shock. "You seem to be locked in a prison without bars. I'm worried about you." Ferry blinked, as if caught in time regression.It seemed like someone else had said something similar to him... the previous summer. The door to the vestibule was swung open, spoiling the moment.Both Ferry and John were startled by the sound, and Sardiste entered the hall. With a frustrated look on his face, he looked up at the two people on the stairs: "Oh, hey, Ferry, John." Ferry touched the back of his neck, trying to recover from the déjà vu that John had just brought. "Asa, uh, where have you been?" "A little trip to a faraway place. What's the matter?" "We're going to the gym and helping John train his form." Sadist closed the door. "Shall I join? Perhaps it should be asked: Can I join you?" Ferry's eyes widened.John seemed taken aback too, but at least he maintained good manners and nodded. Ferry shook his head and concentrated: "Of course. Come with us. You are always welcome." Sadist walked across the gorgeous mosaic floor: "Thank you, thank you very much." The three of them walked towards the underground passage together. Walking into the training center, Ferry looked back at John again, thinking, sometimes a tragic car accident can be avoided by just a nick of the hair; Poor, or one knock, and complete change. It makes a man believe in miracles, really believe.