Chapter 20 Chapter Twenty

A few hours later, Bella was awakened by a soft scratching sound.She looked toward the windows and saw a row of steel shutters slowly sliding down.It must be near dawn. Anxiety made her chest ache.She looked at the door, expecting Saddist to come in from the door, expecting to see him in person.Although he behaved normally when he left, she really made him suffer a lot last night. She rolled over on her side of the bed, remembering Mary's presence.How did Saddist know she needed a friend so badly?God, to think he'd beg Mary, and... The bedroom door opened without warning. Bella sat up in a jerk, pulled the sheet up to her throat, and then saw the shadow cast by Sadiste's burly figure, bringing her incomparable relaxation.

"It's me." He explained bluntly, and then walked into the room with a tray and something on his shoulders, like a camping backpack, "Do you mind if I turn on the light?" "Hi..." Glad that you came home safely, she murmured in her heart, "I don't mind at all." He lit a few candles with his mind, and the sudden light made her blink unconsciously. "I brought some things from your house." He put the tray of food on the bedside table and opened the bag, "I brought you clothes and coats, and the shampoo is the bottle in your bathroom." .These are toothbrushes, shoes, and socks to keep your feet warm. Also, there is your diary...don't worry, I haven't read it."

"I'd be surprised if you'd read it. You're definitely more trustworthy than you say you are." "No, I can't read." Her eyes flickered. "Don't mention this." His tone was as stiff as the curve of his jaw, "I just think, you want to use your own things?" He put the camping bag next to her beside the bed, too.She just watched him until she was completely overwhelmed by the emotions in her heart.She reached out to grab Saddiste's hand, but he withdrew it.She blushed slightly, and began to examine what he had brought her. God... Seeing her belongings made her a little nervous, especially when she saw her diary.It wasn't until she pulled out her favorite red wool sweater that the tension turned into relief.She put the clothes on the tip of her nose and smelled the afterglow of the perfume she had been using.And... yes, the toothbrush, her toothbrush, her favorite, the one with the wide square head.She grabbed the shampoo again, opened the cap, and took a deep breath.Ah...the Bilan brand, the taste is quite different from the one that the second person forced her to use.

"Thank you." Her voice was trembling, and then she picked up the diary, "Thank you very much." She stroked the leather cover of the diary.Can't open it yet, not now, but after a while... She looked up at Sadiste: "Can you take me home?" "Well, I can help you." "I'm afraid to go there. But maybe I should go." "Just tell me the time." She plucked up her courage and suddenly became interested in this important "first" outing.So she continued: "At night, when there is no sunshine, I want to go there."

"No problem, we'll get there." He pointed to the tray, "Now eat." Bella ignored the food and just watched him walk into the closet, unarmed.Sadist treasured his weapon, making a thorough inspection of it.She guessed where he went and what he did just now, although his hands were clean as usual, only black blood remained on his forearm. He killed again tonight. She thought she should have rejoiced at the death of yet another second person, but watching Sadist walk into the bathroom with leggings on her hands, she knew she seemed more concerned about his safety than himself.

And... caring about his body.He behaved like a beast with the most sensitive senses in the world, with explosive power lurking in his body and a quick stride.From the first moment she saw him, love hit her.She wants him. The bathroom door closed and the shower started to spray water. She rubbed her eyes and decided she was crazy.The man knocked her outstretched hand away as a threat. Did she really expect him to be willing to sleep with her again? Loathing herself, she looked at the food he brought, herbal chicken stew, baked potatoes and some pumpkin soup.There are also a glass of water and a glass of white wine on the tray, as well as two green Australian apples and a piece of carrot cake.She picked up a fork and poked the chicken aside.She has no appetite at all.It was only because of his thoughtfulness and care that she tried to eat something.

When Sardist came out of the bathroom, wearing only a pair of nylon tights, she froze, unable to move her burning gaze.His nipples reflected the candlelight, and the firm muscles of his stomach and inner arms evened out the light.The star-shaped mark of the Brotherhood of the Black Sword fell on the chest, and there was a new blue-purple scratch across the bare chest, and there was a contusion on the other side. "You are hurt?" But he came over and glanced at the plate: "You didn't eat much." She didn't answer, her eyes caught the line of his hips, extending from the low waist of the tights.God...just pull it down a little bit and she'll see it all.

She suddenly remembered the scene where Saddist had scratched his skin just because he thought he was filthy.She swallowed nervously, wondering what happened to him.Her expectations of him seemed a little... out of place.However, this did not prevent her from thinking about it. "I'm not very hungry," she murmured. He pushed the tray in front of her: "Anyway, eat it." Bella continued to struggle with the chicken, and Sadist picked up two apples and walked across the room, one in his mouth, sitting cross-legged on the floor.He lowered his eyes, put one arm on his belly, and chewed.

"Didn't you go downstairs for dinner?" she asked. He shook his head and took another bite of the apple.Crisp voices danced in the room. "That's all you eat?" Seeing him shrugging indifferently, she retorted in a low voice, "And then you still persuade me to eat?" "Well, that's what I said. So, why don't you hurry back and eat, woman?" "You don't like chicken?" "I don't like food." His eyes never left the floor, but his voice became a little excited, "Now go eat." "Why don't you like it?"

"I don't believe it." He said dryly, "Unless you cook and eat yourself, or can watch the whole process, otherwise you won't know what's in the food." "Why do you think anyone would want to download..." "Didn't I mention how much I hate talking?" "Will you sleep next to me tonight?" she asked out of the blue, because she thought it best to get an affirmative answer before he shut up completely. He frowned slightly: "You really want to do that?" "Yes, I want it." "Okay then, I will." So he began to concentrate on destroying the two apples, and she tried to eat the food in the CD. Silence was not easy for each other, but at least it would not lead to irreconcilable rifts.Bella ate the last slice of carrot cake and went into the bathroom to brush her teeth.When she came back, he was nibbling the last bit of core with his teeth, eating the flesh clean.

She really couldn't imagine how this little food could support him to fight.Obviously, he needs to eat more. She felt that she should say something, but in the end she lay back on the bed, hugged her body, and waited for him to come.The second hand of the clock ticked by, and he just gnawed at the apple with surgical precision.The tense anticipation was too much for her to bear. Enough is enough, she thought.She should really be elsewhere in the house.She regards him as a reliance, which is not equal in itself. She threw off the quilt, just as he also got up from the ground.Seeing him walking towards the bed, she froze suddenly.Sardist casually tossed the core beside her plate and wiped her mouth with her napkin.After wiping his hands, he took the tray out of the room and set it outside the door. After returning to the room, he went straight to the other side of the bed, stretched his body on the duvet, and the mattress was obviously sunken.His arms crossed his chest, his ankles crossed, and he closed his eyes peacefully. The candles in the room were extinguished one by one, until there was only one single candle flickering, and he said: "I will keep this one, you can see things clearly." She looked at him with some doubts: "Saddist?" "Ok?" "I was..." she cleared her throat. "I was thinking of you when I was stuck in that underground pipe. I thought you would come and get me. I knew you could get me out." He lowered his brows, even though his eyelids were closed: "I'm thinking of you too." "You miss me?" His jaw moved up and down, but she pressed on, "Really?" "Well, there are days... I'm always thinking about you." Bella's eyes widened.She turned over, put her head on her arms, and faced him: "Really?" Sadist didn't answer.She could only ask again: "Why?" His broad chest expanded, and he let out a long sigh: "I want to bring you back, that's all." Oh...so, he was just doing his job. Bella lowered her arms and turned her back to him: "Okay...thank you for saving me." In the silence, she watched the only candle flickering silently on the bedside table.The undulating teardrop flame, so lovely, so graceful... Saddist's voice was low: "I hate to think that you're alone in fear, and that there are other people who can hurt you. I just... can't let it go." Bella almost stopped breathing and turned her head. "In those six weeks, I didn't sleep at all." He seemed to be talking to himself, "When I closed my eyes, I only saw you calling for help." God, although his face is still so firm, his voice is so soft and moving, just like the candle flame. He turned his head slowly and opened his eyes to look at her.There was tenderness in the black eyes that stared at her: "I don't know how you managed to last that long. At one point I thought you were dead too, but we found the place. I pulled you out of the hole. I saw What he did to you..." Bella turned around slowly, not wanting him to back off in fright: "I don't remember at all." "Very good, that's good." "One day... I'm going to need to know the truth. Will you tell me?" He closed his eyes: "If you really want to know those details." For a while, the two fell silent again.He lay back slowly. "I hate to ask you these things, but what did he look like? Can you remember anything special about him?" A lot, she thought, too many special things. "Hehe, ah, he dyed his hair brown." "what?" "I mean, I'm pretty sure he does that. Every week or so, he's going to the bathroom and I can smell the chemicals. When the hair grows back at the root, it's on his scalp Pull out a white line." "But I thought it was a good thing to be white, that means they have joined the club long enough." "I don't know. I think he once had or still has a high status. In that cave, I heard the other secondary people were cautious when they talked to him. Also, they called him Mr. O. " "do you have anything else?" She shivered, as if in a nightmare: "He loves me very much." Suddenly Saddist let out a low, terrible roar.She liked the sound, it made her feel protected.It gave her the strength to go on. "The second person, he said...he loves me, and he is really in love with me, he is very obsessed with me." She sighed slowly, trying to calm down her complicated emotions, "at first , I was terrified of him. But after a while, I learned to use his feelings for me against him. I wanted to hurt him." "you did it?" "Sometimes, yes. I made him... cry." The look on Sardiste's face was weird as hell, like jealousy: "What's that like?" "I don't want to say it." "Because that feels good?" "I don't want you to think I'm cruel." "Cruelty is not the same as revenge." Perhaps in the world of fraternity fighters, she speculates: "I'm not sure I should agree with that." The black eyes narrowed into a line: "There will always be someone who will avenge you, you know that, right?" Bella then thought of Sadiste going out at night, culling secondary people, and worried that the haze of his injury would linger.Then, the proud and angry elder brother appeared in his mind, also preparing to pounce on the second-person killer. "No... I don't want you to go. You, Revanji, or anyone else." A cold snap hit the house, as if a window had been opened suddenly.She looked around, before realizing that the blast of cold was coming from Sardiste. "You have a spouse?" he asked suddenly. "Why you... oh, no. Revanji is my brother, not my spouse." The tall shoulders loosened for a moment, but then he frowned again, "Do you have any?" "Ever had a spouse? For a while, I did. It didn't work out." "why?" "Because of my brother." She paused, "Actually, it wasn't all like that. Then that man couldn't stand Revanji anymore, so my respect for him was also deducted a lot. And then... that guy put We told Grimella everything about our relationship. So things got...complicated." In fact, the relationship between the two was messed up.Naturally, the man's reputation was not damaged at all, but she was reprimanded.Perhaps that was why she was so interested in Saddiste.Sadist didn't care what other people thought of him, made no excuses, and didn't hide his thoughts behind a gentle demeanor.He is honest and frank, and even though he has just endured his anger, it is still reassuring to trust him. "You two..." His voice gradually weakened. "What happened to the two of us?" "Lover?" Sadist cursed quickly, "Forget it, it's none of my business..." "Ah, yes. We used to be a couple. Then Ravenji found out, and that was the beginning of the problem. You know the rules of the nobility: a woman who sleeps with a man who is not a match is considered her life Defiled. I mean, I've always wished I was a commoner, but you can't cut blood ties, can you?" "Do you love that man?" "I think so. But... no," she suddenly remembered the skull next to Sadist's bunk. "Have you ever been in love?" He raised the corner of his mouth slightly and snorted coldly: "Damn, what do you think?" Seeing her shrink back in fright, he closed his eyes: "Sorry. I mean, no. It should be said no." So why did he keep that skull?Whose skull is that?She was about to ask, but he interrupted directly: "Does your brother think he is capable of hunting down that second person?". "You don't have to ask, Revanji is...well, my father has been the head of the family since he died when I was very young. And Revanji is very aggressive." "Okay, you go and tell him to sit still. I will avenge you." She stared straight at Sardiste, and refused, "No." "Okay." "But I don't want you to go." If Saddist died while chasing him, how could she survive alone. "But, I can't stop myself." He closed his eyes tightly, "God... I feel suffocated when I think that bastard is still alive and well. He has to die." Fear, gratitude, and other unnamed warm emotions squeezed her chest.Impulsively, she leaned forward and kissed Sadiste's lips. He took a breath and stepped back quickly, eyes wide open, as if she had just slapped him. Oh hell, why would she do such a thing. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I..." "No, it's nothing. We need to calm down." He lay on his back on the bed, covered his mouth with his hands, and rubbed his lips back and forth with his fingers, as if to wipe away her aftertaste. She sighed heavily, but he asked, "What's wrong?" "Is my smell annoying?" He quickly put down his hands: "No." What a clumsy lie, she thought. "Maybe I can go get you a towel, how about?" She was about to get out of bed, but he grabbed her arm: "That's my first kiss, okay? I'm not ready at all." Bella held her breath.How is that possible? "Oh, for God's sake, don't look at me that way." He lay back and stared at the ceiling. His first kiss... "Saddiste?" "what?" "Can you let me kiss you again?" There was only a long silence around.She moved under the sheets and covers, trying to get closer to him inch by inch. "I'm not touching anywhere on you. Just my lips, go kiss your lips." Turn your head, she ordered silently in her heart, turn your head and look at me. Then he actually turned around. Before he could change his mind, her mouth lightly touched his lips, lingering on them.Seeing that he didn't dodge, she kissed him hard with her lips.This time, the tongue stuck in.His breath followed. "Saddist?" "Hmm." He murmured. "Relax, your mouth, and accept me." Not wanting to force him too much, Bella carefully raised her arms and got closer to him.Scars aside, his lips were surprisingly soft.In order to let him know that she didn't care about this small imperfection, she flicked that place with her lips more intently, reviewing it again and again. Then, something unexpected happened.He actually responded, even though it was only the slightest movement of the corner of his mouth, she felt it from the outside to the inside.When he catered to him again, she could only thank him softly, and then let him take the lead. God, he was too careful and probing, Bella thought, feeling him rubbing the sides of his mouth tenderly, delivering sweet, loving kisses, apples and masculinity.The physical contact between the two was slow and gentle, but enough to make her want. She stuck out her tongue and licked his lips, but he pushed her away suddenly: "I don't understand, what am I doing here!" "You understand." She rushed forward in a hurry, keeping her lips together, "You understand very well." "but……" She silenced his objection with a gag, and it didn't take long for him to re-enter the role.This time, when she stuck out her tongue, he also opened his mouth and met with his tongue, smooth, warm, and slowly entangled... Next, his tongue also stuck into her mouth, touching the tip of her tongue , looking for... But the moment she pressed on him, Sadist's body froze, and he stopped kissing her. "Saddist?" Instead, he threw her off him with unexpected force, onto the mattress, and bounced back. Sadist shot up from the bed like an arrow.Panting, he punched the air hard.His body seemed to sink between the past and the present, tearing him in two. Part of him wanted Bella to continue what she was doing to him, and more.Hell, he wanted to explore his first urge.It was an unbelievable feeling, and he wanted it so badly, the desire was clearly on display in front of his eyes.It was the only thing he thought worthwhile. Dear Holy Maiden of the Void, no wonder men have to protect their spouses to the death. It's just that he couldn't bear to be ridden by a woman, not even if it was Bella.The nervousness that was raging inside him was dangerous.Will he be rough on her?Oh, for God's sake, he'd already dumped her on that damn bed. He couldn't help but glance at Bella, lying between the tangled sheets and tangled pillows, she looked frighteningly beautiful.At the same time, he was also afraid of her, because he was afraid of hurting her.Kissing or touching, no matter how intoxicated it was at the beginning, was an innumerable trigger for him.He didn't want things to end up disappointing when he was by her side. "We can't go on," he said. "This must never happen." "You obviously like it very much," her voice was a little soft, but full of strength, "I can feel your blood rushing under my palm." "I don't want to debate." "I feel it, your lips are covering my mouth, very gentle..." "Oh, come on..." "Shut up, let me finish first!" Sadist's jaw almost dropped in shock, as if she had kicked her ass with her boot.No one has ever dared to speak to him in such a tone.This unusualness alone is enough for him to look sideways, let alone from Bella's mouth. Bella pushed her hair back to her shoulders: "If you don't want to be with me, it's okay, just say it. However, please don't use any excuses to protect me to cover up your heart. You think I don't Know that making love is difficult for you?" "Is this the real reason why you want to have sex?" He asked in a deadly cold voice, "Do you think that after being taken away by the second person, you are only worthy of being hurt now?" She frowned. "It's not like that. But if that's the only way I can have you, I'll do it." He raised his hand to stroke the short skull-shaped hair on top of his head, hoping that the friction of his scalp would make his brain work. "I think you're making a mistake." He stared down at the floor. "You have no idea what you're talking about." "You arrogant bastard." She brazenly interrupted his whisper and cursed. Sadist jerked his head up, thinking to himself, well, is this a second kick to the ass? "What did you say?" "Just do us each other a favor and stop trying to think of me all the time, okay? Because every time you get it wrong." Sadist blinked in confusion, damn, what happened just now? His gaze then turned to the interior of the house, as if the furniture or the curtains would save him.Then, his fine hearing picked up a quiet voice.She's... crying. He cursed and walked to the bathroom.Without knocking on the door, he turned the handle and walked in.She stood by the shower head, arms folded, tears pouring from sapphire blue eyes into pools. Oh... God, what's a man supposed to do in a situation like this? "I'm sorry," he said dryly, "if I...uh, hurt your feelings, or something else." But she glared at him and said, "I'm not hurt, I'm just mad and I can't wait to have sex." He couldn't help shrinking his neck: "Okay...that's okay." God, he'll probably need a neck brace after this conversation is over. "I repeat, Sadist, if you're not interested in sleeping with me, that's fine, but don't try to tell me I don't know what I want." Sadist put his hands firmly on his hips and looked down at the marble tiles.Tell yourself secretly, don't say anything, bastard, just keep your mouth shut. "It's not like that," he blurted out.As soon as the words came out of his mouth, he wanted to scold himself.Talking is wrong, speaking is a terrible idea... "Not what? You mean you want me?" He had to admit: "You know, I think." "Then, if I want to..." She choked, and he had a feeling that her face must be flushed, "Then why can't we be together?" His breathing was short of breath, his lungs were burning, and his heart was pounding.He felt as if he was looking down at the edge of the canyon.God, he wasn't really going to tell her the truth, was he? The words came out again, and there was a tangle in my stomach: "She is always on top. The mistress. She... When she came to me, she was always on top. You, uh, you suddenly climbed onto my chest, and then... ...Well, I can't do this pose." He wiped his face subconsciously, pretending to cope with the sudden headache, more to hide his emotions in front of her. Then he heard a sigh and realized she was sighing. "Saddiste, I'm sorry. I didn't know..." "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,before that big, uncontrollable mouth can continue, "Listen, I'm going to… ..." "What did she do to you?" Bella's soft voice sounded. He gave her a hard look, thinking, oh, I won't say it. She took another step towards him: "Saddiste, is she... forcing you?" He turned around and left: "I'm going to the gym, goodbye." "etc……" "Goodbye, Bella. I can't... do this." When he went out, he took the Nike shoes and MP3 player with him. Right now he needs a long run, a long run... Even if it doesn't work out in the end, at least there will be a burst of sweat for him to escape.