Chapter 270 Chapter 36 Offended by the New Bed

"What's crawling?" asked Grandpa. "Is it a man or a mouse or something else?" Uncle Jin frowned and scratched his head again, but after scratching his head, he couldn't think of how to describe what the sound he heard was coming from. "There is something! If you want to ask what it is, let me tell you, I don't know either." "This is difficult. You only know the sound of crawling, but you don't know what crawling is. How can I solve the problem for you?" Grandpa took a puff of cigarette and fiddled with it for a long time before he lit it. A little bit of smoke rings come. "Think about it, is it the sound of mice crawling, or the sound of snakes, cats, dogs, etc?"

"If it was a mouse, I would have heard it. My cat always likes to make a muffled cooing sound, and I know it even if it is not moving. I can also hear the sound of snakes and dogs. But that sound is not the same as these It's just different." Uncle Jin said in embarrassment. "Is it the voice of a ghost?" I guessed. "How could it be!" Uncle Jin waved his hands carelessly, obviously he didn't take my little nephew seriously. "I've heard of water ghosts and hanging ghosts, but I haven't heard of ghosts that come here to disturb people's sleep. Certainly not, definitely not." He spoke too hastily, just inhaling the cigarette in his mouth Before he could spit it out, he accidentally choked on the smoke and coughed again and again.

Grandpa hurried over to pat him on the back, jokingly said, "I've seen people choking on water, but I haven't seen people choking on cigarettes." The grandma on the side also laughed and said, "Uncle Jin, you are such a cheapskate that you can't bear to spit out the smoke you inhale! You are so cheap. Haha." Grandma's words reminded me of a story my grandpa once told me. This is a story that ridicules cheapskates.It is said that there is a stingy ghost, the degree of stinginess exceeds that of a penny-pinching iron cock.Not only does he not pull out any hair, but he is reluctant to pull the manure into other people's cesspit even when he goes to the toilet. He has to hold back and drag it to his own latrine to save it as fertilizer for watering the fields.

One day, this cheapskate was walking on a field ridge when he suddenly felt that he was about to fart.He immediately held back and hurried home.But after running a few steps, he finally couldn't bear it anymore, and let out a fart with a "poof". The cheapskate thought to himself, this is not acceptable, how can my fart be put in other people's fields!I want to get it back! So, the cheapskate hurriedly took off his shoes, rolled up his trousers, and ran into other people's paddy fields to feel around, trying to get his fart back. It happened that there were several other people passing by on the ridge of the field. When they saw the cheapskate groping around in the paddy field, they thought he was looking for something good.So, a few people on the ridge immediately took off their shoes, rolled up their trousers and ran into the paddy field, groping in the paddy field like cheapskates.

Several other people followed until noon, and the sun made them sweat profusely.The others finally couldn't bear it any longer, and asked the cheapskate, "Hey, did you find anything good?" The cheapskate thought to himself, I can't tell them that I'm looking for my fart, if they find out and grab it first, then I will definitely not come back alone.The cheapskate replied: "I haven't touched it yet, have you touched anything good?" Those few people felt that they were tricked by the cheapskate, and they were furious: "Fuck you!" When the cheapskate heard it, he suddenly realized: "No wonder I haven't touched a fart after touching it for so long. You guys have already touched it! Hurry up and pay my fart!"

I remember that when my grandfather told me this joke, he was very serious, imitating the actions of the cheapskate while he was going, it was really vivid.I almost lost my breath when I heard that.Then when I told this joke to others, I couldn't be as serious as my grandfather.Often before the funny thing is said, I would start to grin and start laughing, making the people who listened to the joke bewildered. Anyway, Uncle Kim is as stingy as the cheapskate in Grandpa's jokes. Uncle Jin knew that he was really stingy, so he couldn't help but blushed slightly after hearing what grandma said.But that's just how he is. People say he's embarrassed when he's stingy, but when he's about to take money, he's still terribly stingy.Typical of not correcting mistakes.Although it's not good to be too stingy, but it won't be retaliated by ghosts, right?I couldn't help but wonder about it.

Grandpa said: "If you can't tell what is crawling on the edge of the bed, I really can't help you. Maybe the bed is too dry. You throw the bed in a small pond and soak it for a few days, so that the wood is full of water." , maybe there will be no sound." Uncle Jin said: "This bed is newly made. How could it be too dry? My wife still thinks that the bed has not been exposed to the sun for a few days, and the humidity is too heavy." "A newly made bed?" Grandpa's eyes lit up. "That's right, a newly made bed. Is there anything surprising? Don't the beds you sleep in all change from new to old?" Uncle Jin flicked the cigarette ash and said casually.The rain outside was still falling, seemingly endlessly.Although it is still early morning, the sky seems to be darker than before.It seems that there is more rain behind.This season in the south is like this. It rains so that people will get moldy when sitting at home.At night after the rain stops, if you spread it on the side of the road, you will step on many jumping frogs or toads.This is also my impression of the southern summer.

Grandpa looked at the filter of the cigarette and replied, "The new bed is different. If it's an old bed and this is happening now, it has nothing to do with the bed. But if it's a new bed, it's probably the bed itself problem.” I don’t know what’s so good about a cigarette filter.His eyes were fixed on the filter, but his mind was already elsewhere. "What's wrong with the bed? Isn't it made of a few boards and a few nails? Whose bed isn't like this? Why is my bed making strange noises?" I think Uncle Jin mistook Grandpa for the court The county magistrate, complaining angrily about his injustice.

Grandpa nodded. Uncle Jin said again: "You said that cats have spirituality, foxes have spirituality, and snakes have spirituality. I still believe it. Could it be that a bed made of a few boards and a few iron nails can cause me trouble? I don't believe that! Let's talk , no matter how stingy I am, it is impossible to offend the wooden bed I sleep on!" Uncle Jin still spread his hands as if he was going to court, pretending to be innocent.