Chapter 153 Chapter 12 Mixed Voices

I felt something bad happened that night, but didn't know if my feeling was right or wrong.I quietly listened to the sound of the car turning off, heard my father opening the door, heard my father washing his face, and then he walked out of the door again, and then there was silence. I quietly got up and walked to the ground.Dad stood alone under the pale moonlight, looking ahead. When the lights of thousands of houses have passed, the mountains and houses in the distance have no three-dimensional effect, like paper-cutting.Moonlight floats around like mist. I walked behind my father from the door, but my father didn't feel my steps.I was afraid to disturb my father's dignified silence, so I gently tugged at the corner of his clothes, and asked anxiously, "Dad, where is Mom? Why didn't she come back with you?" I secretly prayed that Dad's answer would be Mom. I went to live with some relatives, because I already felt the ominous omen, and I was fighting against this omen.

Dad didn't look back at me, his eyes were still looking at the front of nothingness, and said: "Your mother can't come back for a while." Then fell into infinite silence. "Hmm." From Dad's answer, I couldn't fully judge whether the omen was right or wrong.Seeing Dad's stiff expression, I didn't dare to ask again, so I dragged my feet back to the bed. Mom stayed in the hospital for more than a month.More than a month later, there were more moans in the middle of the night at home, which was the mother's expression of waking up in pain. Moaning, we watched our mother lose weight day by day.Severe pain caused mum to lose a third of her body weight in just one monthDuring that time, my mother had the idea of ​​suicide countless times.The only thing keeping her alive was the fear that my brother and I would be left alone.All her hopes are pinned on me and my brother.

Mom's life has merged with mine.She hoped that I would do well in studies, thinking that would be the best reward for her.When grandpa took me around, my mother disapproved, but seeing that I liked it so much, my mother couldn't bear to interfere. My mother is like this, even if she wants me to do one thing in her heart, but when I am obsessed with another thing, my mother will still wholeheartedly support my self-assertion.As for me, on the one hand, I was obsessed with my own whims, and on the other hand, I felt deeply guilty about my mother. My mother almost shed tears when she said "what if you have an accident and leave mother alone", she was afraid that I would see her, so she hurriedly wiped her wet hands on her face to cover up.And I took this little action clearly into my eyes.

I comforted my mother and said: "Don't worry, I'm in high school now, and I can only come back once a month, and I'll go to school again after playing. Can't I just study hard at school? Okay?" Mom nodded, and then dipped some cold water from the basin and patted it on the back of my neck. The condition of the nose has improved slightly.Mom pulled out a strong sewing thread and wrapped it tightly around my index finger.The finger of the index finger immediately became swollen and turned purple. This time it was my grandfather who advised me: "Why don't you go to Jiangjunpo tonight—"

I immediately interrupted Grandpa's words: "No! I must go!" As soon as I finished speaking, the blood in my nose was bleeding again.Mom was busy patting the back of my neck again. My mother scolded distressedly: "You still want to hang out with them when you are like this? No! I will not let you go out tonight no matter what. Your old lady, I will hold the door tonight to see where you go out from." I know my mother speaks loudly, but she won't really lock me up at home. As I said, it's something she doesn't like. As long as I like it, she will support me unconditionally.Scolding is only temporary.

Mom told me to lie on my back in a chair so the bleeding wouldn't be so bad.Later, when I went to university, I realized that when the nose is bleeding, you should not lean up, but let the blood flow out naturally. I obeyed my mother's words, lying on my back and swallowing the blood that flowed back into my mouth.I don't know how long it took, since I fell asleep drowsily in such an uncomfortable position. Although I fell asleep, I could still clearly hear every subtle sound around me, and even the sound of the grasshopper in the corner pawing away the dirt at the hole with his feet.I heard Grandpa come to my side, walked around me, and then the footsteps gradually faded away and finally disappeared.

Then, I heard many, many people speaking.I know that there is no one in this room anymore, grandpa has gone out, and mother has gone out.But there are all kinds of sounds in my ears, there are two people whispering, women talking and laughing, old people panting, children crying, and even cows mooing. The clucking of hens, the crowing of roosters. These voices mingled together, churning like boiled porridge, making my head buzz like it was going to explode.Consciousness seemed to leave my body.I can't feel the existence of limbs, only these noisy voices.I've had this feeling before when I was sleeping, but it passed after a while and I fell into a deep sleep.But it's never been this intense.

I've always been in this state.Occasionally, I heard the voice of my mother or other people talking outside the house.Their words were mixed with these voices. Although they could be distinguished, they couldn't hear what they were talking about.Later, I seemed to hear the crisp sound of chopsticks hitting the bowl. The head was so heavy that it seemed to fall off the chair.I raised my head vigorously, and woke up from such a muddled state.His eyes were itchy as if smoked by thick smoke, and his limbs were weak.An unacceptable smell in the mouth. Looking out the window, it was already dark, and I was startled.A burst of coldness spread from the soles of the feet to the top of the head, and one couldn't help shivering, and suddenly became more awake, but his limbs were still weak.

I braced myself and walked to the kitchen.Mom is washing the dishes with a loofah.I rubbed my eyes, struggling to see.I hiccupped and there was a rumbling sound in my stomach. "Have you guys finished your dinner?" I asked, clutching my stomach, "Why didn't you call me?" Before my mother could answer, I scanned the room for a week and found that grandpa was not there, so I hurriedly asked, "Where is grandpa? Has grandpa gone to Jiangjunpo?" While washing the dishes, my mother replied, "I saw you sleeping so soundly just now, I couldn't bear to ask you to eat. The food is left in the cupboard for you. Go and eat something."

I was really hungry, so I hurriedly opened the cupboard and quickly put rice grains into my mouth. "Grandpa didn't call me when he went?" I asked angrily with a grain of rice in my mouth.