Chapter 18 Postscript written at the end of New Year's Day

Who have you seen time let go?No one can be an exception, from birth to growth, from sensibility to the city, time has given you all the necessities to survive, but it has also deprived you of more things, making many beautiful memories deep in your mind. Christmas is over and New Year's Day is coming. 2011 is here, and I have no mood to write poetry, nor the urge to write prose. I just sit in the study plainly, looking at the darkness outside the window.On New Year's Eve, there were no fireworks, only goblets and slightly rippling red wine, only silence and a touch of melancholy.

On the first day of the new year, there was snow. When I wake up in the morning, I suddenly feel that the world is so noisy.Although there is an empty university campus outside the glass, deep down, I always feel that something is missing. Perhaps last year's goal was not fully achieved. I think so. One day during the New Year's Eve, the mood has always been complicated.I don't know what is complicated, but I feel a lot of inexplicable feelings.Start to get nostalgic.Emotions are like a cough that will never get better. You don’t know when it will explode, making you miserable.

Back from the provincial capital tonight, driving on the highway, some sad music came from the radio.I sang along with it loudly, and I felt an urge to cry while singing. why?Why do you want to cry?As a man, I have always been strong and carried everything, since I was a child.Inexplicable emotions should not appear on a rational person like myself, but tonight, in the car, in the music, I am Sparta! Yeah, I've always been strong, that's what everybody tells me.So I became stronger.But, am I really a strong person? I've been really lost lately.Although I am very satisfied with my career and life, I am hysterical and confused.

Perhaps, I am not strong.When I am also emotional, I will be inexplicably happy; inexplicably lost; inexplicably missing the past; inexplicably like and dislike.There are so many parallel sentences, but after all, I can't describe my emotions. Forget it, just treat me as whining and moaning. In 2011, I hope to straighten out my emotions and my inexplicable irritability.