Chapter 8 Chapter 8: The Nightmare Comes Again

Over the past few weeks, many nights have been spent with the leaves. We meet more and more frequently and talk about more and more topics.I also often chat with Ye Zi on the Internet, and unexpectedly found that Ye Zi didn’t tell me that we have been dating, and I thought I only met Ye Zi once, and I had sex once, thinking that I was foolish to believe The leaves are her own. I don't point her out either. I kind of like this kind of weird relationship—talking to the past, but having sex with her double. Of course, Ye Zi is not just a substitute for the past, she is no one's substitute, she is Ye Zi.

Ye Zi's mood is sometimes very unstable, often falling into irritability and depression for no reason.No wonder, didn't she say that she had a brain problem before the divorce?It made me pity her even more.Whenever Ye Zi gets emotional, I hold her in my arms and kiss her wholeheartedly. She will lie in my arms for an hour without saying a word, weeping quietly, crying as pitifully as a little girl.After crying, everything cleared up, she wiped her tears and smiled, and in a blink of an eye, she regained her mature charm. I think she was crying because she was at a loss, and she stopped crying because she didn't want to continue to pity herself.

I value Leaf so much, she was an unexpected gift!Compared with those idiotic girls who only want to get married and have a reliable husband, Ye Zi sees through everything after experiencing everything, and is no longer just satisfied with being a zombie-like housewife, and lives freely for herself from now on , and never wronged herself to believe in the myth of family, all these make her look extraordinarily attractive. I don't know where I and Ye Zi will go, we can't be a "normal" relationship like a husband and wife, but we are used to filling each other's loneliness in the middle of the night.Not just sex, but dependence.

One rainy night, I only lit a dim desk lamp, and let Ye Zi listen to the original soundtrack of the movie "In the Mood for Love" that I downloaded online. She loves it as hell! So, I discovered another commonality between us: we all love this decadent and sexy Latin music style. In the words of Ye Zi: "There is a kind of taste, it is the kind of fading glory!" But I said, "It's a gorgeous melancholy." A narration in Cantonese by Tony Leung was suddenly inserted into the heart-pounding tango music.I never understood it, so I asked Ye Zi what it meant. Ye Zi turned her head, looked at me thoughtfully, and said slowly: "If there is an extra ticket, will you go with me?"

After she finished speaking, she didn't turn her head back, and just stared into my eyes blindly. She is asking me! I fell silent.I'm afraid she wants an affirmative answer, but I know she doesn't believe in that answer. Ye Zi is still waiting for my answer, under the dim light, her face is in a trance. I hesitated for a while, finally shook my head, and said in a disinterested manner: "Don't be in the same boat with me, the boat will capsize..." Ye Zi stared at me obsessively, sighed imperceptibly, and turned his head to stare at the dim lamp. We all stopped talking.

The ecstasy of tango, mixed with the sound of rain outside the window... That night, Ye Zi gave me a key, the key of her house. The weather is getting hotter and hotter, and the streets are bustling with activity. There are more and more girls with exposed skin, and more and more insomniacs with red and swollen eyes. On the most day, I actually met five! Those of us who are rare in the crowd often stare at each other with red and swollen eyes, and look at each other thoughtfully, and then go our separate ways.It's like a mysterious society whose members never speak to each other but share a terrible secret - an evil nightmare.

I rarely sleep, and sometimes I can only squint for a while when it is almost dawn. The long night is no longer so hard, because there are leaves.In order to accompany me, Ye Zi changed her biological clock, and she also stayed up all night, and she would only sleep after I went to work. I can't live without her, she is like a tango, sexy, lazy, melancholy, sentimental, with a hint of obstinate indulgence. One day at Ye Zi's house, Ye Zi was going to the bathroom to take a shower, and threw me a photo album of hers for me to read by myself. I actually prefer to watch her take a shower.

But she insisted on pushing me out, and said with a shy smile, "After washing, it's all yours!" "It doesn't matter whether you wash it or not, you are always so holy!" "Fuck you!" She smiled and closed the bathroom door. After a while, I went to peep, but the leaves splashed water on my face. In the end I had to flip through her photo album. I have never liked taking pictures. All the photos left are memories of certain moments, and apart from these moments, everything in my life has become a large blank. I would rather have a complete memory.But girls like to take pictures, probably because they know that their beauty is very short-lived, and they want to regard these moments as eternity!

I saw a photo of Ye Zi and her grandma in front of the Beijing Dance Academy when she first entered college. Ye Zi still had innocent eyes at that time, eyes blindly trusting in life like Xie Yuting.But as these frozen moments jump backwards, Ye Zi's eyes become more and more dazed and blurred... Suddenly, I was stunned, a photo of Yu Qing actually appeared in Ye Zi's album! She knows Yu Qing! That was Yu Qing's office, Ye Zi and Yu Qing sat at the desk and laughed happily, Ye Zi was wearing the clothes of a hospital patient. My heart twitched violently, and tears blurred everything at once.Ye Zi said that she had been hospitalized, it turned out to be treatment for depression, but the doctor was Yu Qing!Only the psychiatry department of that hospital is famous in Beijing, I should have thought of it earlier!The pain overwhelmed me, and I couldn't hold back my tears looking at the photos.Amidst the tears, Yu Qing was smiling sweetly in that frozen moment a few years ago, but at this moment, she has already turned into flying ash!

I looked up and took a deep breath, suppressed my tears, tried to calm my voice, and said that I had something to leave Ye Zi's house. For several days in a row, I couldn't lift my spirits. I didn't go to find Ye Zi, and I became more and more absent-minded at work. Every day when I go to work, I find that the things on my desk have been touched. In fact, it has been like this for a long time, but that day I was irritable and suddenly felt extremely angry, and I couldn't help losing my temper on the editing platform. No one dared to look up at me. Only Xie Yuting looked at me worriedly, not knowing what problem I had.But I didn't want to share my pain with her, I pretended not to see her eyes.In fact, losing your temper is also gray hair. It must be caused by those people on the day shift. They have already returned home from get off work.

After returning home at night, I lay alone in the dark room, like a hibernating snake, not wanting to move. It has been two years, and I have almost forgotten Yu Qing's face. Every time I think of her, I feel that her face is becoming more and more blurred, as if hiding in a cloud of fog, and the fog is getting thicker and thicker. Gloomy, Yu Qing's face became increasingly gloomy.But that day at Ye Zi's house, I was caught off guard and saw Yu Qing's vivid face again, and all the past suddenly came back to life. The first time Yu Qing and I met was at the school Christmas masquerade.That day, I was asked by a girl in the student union to play the guitar, accompaniment to Weber's aria from "The Phantom of the Opera" to a strange girl wearing a mask. Accompanying the aria with a guitar is a bit nondescript, but everyone was moved by the girl's singing, although people with poor English could not understand what she was singing, but the mesmerizing singing itself made people feel so sad tears. That strange girl is Yu Qing. At the ball, I asked her to dance, and at the end of the song, I couldn't help kissing her face, she was not embarrassed, just smiled. Without letting go of her soft waist, I lowered my head and asked, "May I have a glimpse of your peerless beauty?" She smiled and said: "You are talking in a dream. If you see my face, the dream will wake up all at once, and you will regret dancing with me, regretting kissing me! To give you a good dream tonight , I decided not to let you see it." I smiled and said, "I'm very sure about my appearance. If you don't believe me, we all take off our masks and compare each other. You must be the one who regrets it!" She stood on tiptoe and kissed my forehead lightly, and whispered, "I won't regret it, you didn't wear a mask when you were tuning in the background just now, I've seen you!" I couldn't help being happy, and leaned over to her ear and said, "Anyway, I have decided that you are a beauty. If this dream is destined to wake up, let's kiss before we wake up from the dream!" I kissed her soft lips, she did not refuse.After the kiss, I snapped her mysterious mask away with my teeth. she is pretty!There was a little mischievous smile in the surprised expression. I still remember the words of the aria she sang: My tears flowed out unconsciously... I forgot, forgot!After only two years, I almost forgot Yu Qing's face and the love I once had.Instead of keeping my promise, instead of trying to think about her once in a while, I tried to forget what she looked like.Love is so touching yet so short, it always unknowingly turns into an ugly betrayal, people can't bear to recall the beauty of the past... The dead are lucky, because they waved away easily, but left the pain of sobriety to the living! I fell asleep in tears... Late that night, I suddenly woke up again in a nightmare! Nightmare is back! Shui Ling and the guy with my face writhed in the dark night, trying to grab my neck... There was no sound in the room, only my own heavy breathing could be heard... The man's hands got closer each time, and finally, those big cold hands touched my neck, trembling slightly, he wanted to pinch it down, but he couldn't exert any strength—— I was twisted into a ball in pain on the bed, I couldn't see Shui Ling's face, but I thought she was smiling. I want to scream like crazy, beg them to hurry up, kill me quickly, please, I've lived enough, I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to—don't want to endure this endless torture!But there was only a hoarse cry in my throat, and along with this unhuman cry, I suddenly heard a woman screaming! I was stunned, the voice seemed far away, but also very close, it was Yu Qing's voice! Shui Ling and the man stopped suddenly, and they were also listening attentively—— I was trembling all over, the pair of cold hands left my neck, I watched Shui Ling and the man retreat slowly to the shadow of the corner of the wall... I panted heavily, and found that my hands could move, and turned on the desk lamp , the corner is empty, they have disappeared! It took me a while to calm down my anxious breathing. I was supposed to die today, but my nightmare was suddenly interrupted! Where did the scream just now come from? Was it really Yu Qing's voice?But how could I hear her scream?Shui Ling and that man undoubtedly heard it too, that voice really exists! In the dark night, the shrill scream just now kept echoing in my mind—— That's Yu Qing, it must be Yu Qing!