Chapter 29 Chapter 27 St. Matthew's Institute

Interview Note No. 14, Patient ID: 3643, Doctor: Anthony Fowler Dr. Fowler: Good afternoon, Father Karowski, may I come in? 3643: Come in, Father Fowler. Dr. Fowler: Did you like the book I lent you? No. 3643: Of course, I like it.I've read Augustine's.Very interesting book.It's hard to believe where the natural optimism of man can go. Dr. Fowler: I don't understand what you're saying. No. 3643: But only you understand me in this world.As long as you don't call me by my name and try to establish obscene and unnecessary acquaintance, which will damage the reputation of both parties.

Dr. Fowler: You mean Dr. Crowe. 3643: Yes, that's the guy.He emphasized time and time again that I was an ordinary patient and needed to be cured.I'm a priest, like him, but he ruined our dignity by insisting that I call him "doctor". Dr. Fowler: I think we clarified that last week, Father Karowski.The doctor-patient relationship between you and Crowe is for everyone's benefit and for no other reason.He needs to help you overcome some psychological problems that you have suffered in the past. No. 3643: Am I suffering?At whose hand am I suffering?Maybe you want me to put my love for Our Lady to the test too?I beg you not to follow Dr. Crowe's methods.He even said that I need to listen to those recordings to get rid of all my doubts.

Dr. Fowler: It's part of the recording. 3643: That's what I'm talking about. Dr. Fowler: I don't think you should listen to those tapes, Father Karowski.That's not good for your health.I'll talk to Dr. Crowe. No. 3643: As long as you think it's appropriate, I'm not afraid at all. Dr. Fowler: Listen to me, Father.I want to try to help you as much as possible during our conversation this time.You just said something that interests me.It's in Saint Augustine that you mention his optimism.What do you mean? No. 3643: "Even if I look ridiculous in front of you, you will still come back and show me mercy."

Dr. Fowler: I don't understand what makes you think he's optimistic in this paragraph?Is it because you have little faith in a merciful God? No. 3643: God's mercy was only invented in the 20th century, Father Fowler. Dr. Fowler: Saint Augustine lived in the fourth century AD. No. 3643: Saint Augustine, terrified by his former sins, writes these optimistic lies. Dr. Fowler: Father, but those words are the basis of faith, and God will forgive us. No. 3643: Not always.They go to confession, like some people go to the car wash.oh!They make me sick. Dr. Fowler: Is that how you felt when you conducted the confession?

3643: I'm disgusted.Many times I vomited in the confessional room because of the words of the people on the other side of the confessional room. Their words bothered me. It was all about lying, adultery, incest, pornography, violence, and stealing.All of them, sneaking into this tiny confessional, polluting the place with their bestiality.They vomited it up when they left, and I was drowned in it. Dr. Fowler: But Father, they're not talking to us, they're talking to God.We are just a channel.When we don the priest's shawl, we become Christ. No. 3643: They say everything.They come dirty and believe they will leave clean. "Bless me, Father, for I sinned. I stole ten thousand dollars from my business partner." "Bless me, Father, for I sinned. I raped my sister." "Bless me, Father, Because I sinned. I took pornographic pictures of my son and put them on the Internet." "Bless me, Father, because I sinned. I put lye in my husband's food because he wouldn't Asking me to be a good wife in bed. I hate the smell of onions and sweat on him." That's all, every day.

Dr. Fowler: But repentance is a very good thing, Father Kaloski, to feel real remorse and make a real effort to change your behavior. No. 3643: No way.They always, always put their sins on MY shoulders.Then they abandoned me and left me alone with God's indifferent face.Between their wickedness and God's vengeance, I'm the only one dealing with it. Dr. Fowler: Do you really think God will take revenge on mankind? No. 3643: His heart is as hard as a stone.He made the deep boil like a pot, and the sea like ointment in a pot.It is useless for a man to stab it with a knife, a spear, a javelin, or a sharp spear.He overlooks all pride, he rules all ferocity.

Dr. Fowler: I have to tell you that I admire your familiarity with the Bible, especially the Old Testament.But the Book of Job is about scrapping the outdated stuff and giving us the New Testament truth about Jesus. No. 3643: Jesus Christ is only the Son of God, and only the Father can judge.And the face of the Father is as stone. Dr. Fowler: It is a pity that you have climbed too high on your tower of belief. That is the fatal foothold from which you are bound to fall.If you listened to those Dr. Crowe tapes, it would really knock you off your feet.

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