Chapter 22 Chapter 20 St. Matthew's Institute

Interview Note No. 72, Patient ID 3643, Dr. Cannis Crowe, and Assistant Physicians Anthony Fowler and Salle Van Abala Dr. Crowe: Good afternoon, Victor. 3643: Okay, we meet again. Dr. Crowe: Today is hypnotherapy, Victor. (As before, the note omits the assumption part.) Van Abala: 1973.From now on you just listen to my voice and no other voices, do you understand? 3643: Understood. Van Abbala: He can't hear you, gentlemen. Dr. Crowe: That time we had a Rorschach test.Victor's reaction was normal, he pointed out some common birds and flowers, only two he said he didn't see anything.Mark it down, Anthony: If Victor isn't interested in something, it's because it affects him too deeply.I hope that these deep reactions can be stimulated in hypnosis, and then we will know where the roots of these influences come from.

Anthony: I disagree with deep stimulation methods, not because of whether these would be empirical, but because the patient will not have the same automatic resistance mechanism to spam that they normally have during hypnosis, which will make sufferers The possibility of psychological trauma increases, and the risk factor increases. Dr. Crowe: His automatic resistance mechanism has been given up by his brain and is no longer working.You know this patient has suffered severe rejection at some point in his life.We have to get past the barriers and unravel what made him what he is. Anthony: But it's too expensive.

Van Abbala: Gentlemen, please rein in your discussions.Now he can't open his eyes no matter what images we show him. Dr. Crowe: But we can describe the image, let's go, Dr. Van Abala. Van Abbala: Okay, Victor, this is 1973.I want us to go somewhere you like to go.Where shall we choose? 3643: fire exit. Van Abbala: Do you often stay at the fire exits? 3643: Yes. Van Abbala: Tell me why? 3643: The air is fresh there.No smell.It tastes very bad in my house. Van Abbala: What's the smell in your house? 3643: The smell of rotting fruit.That came from Emil's bed. Van Abbala: Is your brother sick?

3643: Yes.No one takes care of him.My mother said he was possessed by a ghost.He couldn't see the light, his hands were shaking, and his throat was sore. Dr. Crowe: This is a symptom of meningitis.Photophobia, neck stiffness, convulsions. Van Abbala: Is no one taking care of your brother? 3643: My mother feeds him peeled apples whenever she thinks about it.He had a stomachache and my father didn't want to know anything.I hate my father.He looked at me and told me to go get my brother cleaned up, I didn't want to, it made me sick.My mother also made me do things, and she pressed me against the radiator when I didn't want to.

Dr. Crowe: We already know he was abused.Now let's see how he saw those pictures in the Rorschach test.This one interests me even more. Van Abbala: Let's go back to the safety gate.Sit there and tell me how you feel? 3643: Fresh air.The sheet metal is under my feet.I could smell the aroma of food from the Jewish store up front. Van Abbala: Now I want you to imagine a painting: a big black smudge, big.It is filled with various shapes.There is a small white oval at the very bottom of the smudge.What do you think it is? 3643: Dark, like when I'm alone in the closet. Dr. Crowe: Please note, I think we have something here.

Van Abbala: What are you doing in the closet? 3643: I was the only one they locked me in. Anthony: For God's sake, Dr. Crowe, look at his face, it's full of pain. Dr. Crowe: Shut up.We're about to get what we want, Van Abala, and I'll write the title on this board, and you'll read it to him as I write, won't you? Van Abbala: Victor, do you remember what you did before you were locked in the closet? 3643: Many things, Emil died. Van Abbala: How did he die? 3643: They locked me up and I was all by myself. Van Abbala: I see, tell me how did the emir die? 3643: He is in our room, Dad is watching TV, and Mom is out.I was sitting by the fire exit, and then I heard a voice.

Van Abbala: What sound? 3643: Deflating like a balloon.I poked my head in and saw that Emile was very pale.I was talking to my dad and he picked up a can of beer and threw it at me. Van Abbala: Did he hit you? 3643: Hit me on the head.I bled and cried.My dad stood up and put his arm up, I told him about Emil and he got really angry and he said it was my fault.Because I am taking care of him.I will be punished.Then he came again. Van Abbala: Same penalty as before?Did he touch you again? 3643: He hurt me, my head was bleeding and my ears were bleeding.But he stopped suddenly. Van Abbala: Why?

3643: I heard my mother's voice.She was yelling at Dad, very fiercely.I couldn't understand what was said.Dad said he already knew.My mother screamed and yelled Emil's name out loud, but I knew Emil would never hear me again and I was glad.Then mom grabbed me by the neck and put me in the closet.I yelled.I was so scared that I knocked hard on the closet door for a long time.She opened the door and waved a knife, saying that if I shouted again, she would stab me to death with the knife. Van Abbala: So what do you do? 3643: I stopped calling.Just being inside alone, I heard voices outside that I was not familiar with.For hours, I just stayed in the closet.

Dr. Crowe: Those sounds must be the ambulance taking his brother away. Van Abbala: How long have you been in the closet? 3643: It's been a long time.Myself, afterward my mom opened the closet and she said I had been behaving badly.God doesn't like bad kids who always make trouble for their parents.I have to accept God's punishment for these bad actions.She gave me a plastic container and asked me to defecate in it.In the morning she would give me a glass of water, a slice of bread and some cheese. Van Abbala: How many days were you in there? 3643: A long time. Van Abbala: Don't you have a watch?Still can't count the time?

3643: I try to remember the time, but it's too long.If I put my ear against the wall, I can hear Mrs. Berger's radio, she's deaf, and sometimes she tunes in to baseball games. Van Abala: So how many games did you listen to? 3643: I don't know either, 40?Maybe 50 games.In the end I couldn't remember. Anthony: Oh my God, the baby was locked in there for two months! Van Abbala: Did you never come out? 3643: Once. Van Abbala: Why did you come out? 3643: I made a mistake.I kicked the plastic container and it tipped over.The closet smelled terrible, like the smell of the dead.I vomited.When my mother came back, she was very angry.She rubbed my face against the filth on the floor, then she dragged me out to clean the closet.

Van Abbala: Did you not intend to escape? 3643: I have nowhere to go.Mom did it for my own good. Van Abara: When did she let you out? 3643: One day, she gave me a bath.She said she hoped I had learned my lesson.She said that closet was hell, and if I did another bad thing, I'd be locked in there until I couldn't get out.She dresses me, she says I'm supposed to be a girl, there's still time to make me a girl, she touches my pussy, she says that stuff doesn't work for me, I'm going to hell anyway, no way Can escape. Van Abbala: And what about your dad? 3643: Dad is gone, he is gone. Anthony: Chloe, stop the experiment immediately.Look at his face, it's very painful. 3643: He's gone, gone, gone... Anthony: Chloe! Dr. Crowe: Well, here we go, Dr. Van Abbala.Stop the recording and let the patient go.

---

Notes: