Chapter 4 Chapter Four

She thought that the donor's experiences, emotions and memories were preserved in this heart and injected into her body through transplantation, so she felt the pain, jealousy and lamentation of that heart.She wondered if other heart-changers were like her. When nothing happened, Wu Bingbing wondered whether the patients who received heart transplants—"heart-changing people"-would have any psychological and emotional changes?For example, if a man's heart is transplanted to a woman, will the woman become masculine psychologically and emotionally after receiving the transplant, and gradually become rough, masculine and tough?If a woman's heart is transplanted to a man, will the transplanted man become more delicate, tender and soft psychologically and emotionally?As for heart transplants between people of the same sex, if there are differences in personality, there may be some reactions, but the psychological and emotional aspects should be intercommunicated and compatible... Also, if young people accept the heart of the elderly, emotionally or Will living habits also be affected by that heart?When the old people accept the heart of the young people, will they rejuvenate from now on, and have a new understanding and attempt to life and feelings? ...

These are all questions that Wu Bingbing started from his personal experience and expanded his thinking through case analysis.Maybe others will say that it seems to run counter to medical science to talk about psychological and emotional changes after heart transplantation. As a recipient, you accept other people's hearts, but your thinking still depends on your own brain. How can it be influenced and dominated by others?The body is still your own body, so how can there be internal changes?But she doesn't understand it that way.She believes that science itself is limited, referring to the cognition and proof process that has been and will be.Any scientific actions and conclusions are temporary and limited.Just as human beings cannot fully understand the secrets of the outer space of the universe, they also cannot fully understand the mysteries of their own physiology.

In her theory, she believes that the brain is the first thinking machine of human beings, which guides and weaves thinking, while the human heart is the second thinking machine, the "terminal" connecting the brain, forming a thinking system together with the brain, and directing human beings. of systemic nerves.No one can arbitrarily say that human thinking, or the resulting experience, cognition and emotion, are all stored in the brain and will not leave tracks in the heart? She firmly believes that after her "heart exchange", she will be affected by this foreign heart in terms of psychology and emotion-the experience, emotion and memory of the donor are retained in this heart, and through the heart transplant, the stored information will be injected into the human body. her body.Those haunting and strange dreams are proof.

Nightmares still came frequently, and the resentful woman in white was always chasing her in the dreams.On the way of chasing and escaping, she also saw dead people one after another, all of which were strange faces that she had never seen before.Wu Bingbing often wakes up in the middle of the night, simply stays awake, sits with her knees hugged and waits for dawn... Wu Bingbing wants to find out whether other "heart-changers" are like her, unable to get rid of the drive of the original heart, so they often dream and relive the past memories of that heart in their dreams. It was the nurse Xiaoye introduced by a friend who had a way. She approached Dr. Meng’s colleagues in the department and found out about the heart transplant operations performed in the Department of Cardiothoracic Surgery over the years. From the computer of the thin and tall female doctor, the hospital's follow-up treatment records for these patients were found, as well as their addresses and contact numbers.

The rehabilitation hospital has performed 13 heart transplants. Except for Wu Bingbing, only 4 of the other 12 patients live in this city, and the other 8 patients are from Hunan, Sichuan, Guangxi and other provinces.The patients were of different ages, the youngest was 9 years old and the oldest was 68 years old.Only one person died in the dangerous period of 3 months after the operation, except for the others who recovered safely, and the number of episodes filled in the record column was zero.Bingbing copied down the situation of the four patients in this city. Three of the four patients in this city are female. Among them, Wei Pan is 57 years old; Kang Qiujing is 24 years old, slightly older than Wu Bingbing; and Xu Miaomiao is only 9 years old.

Wei Pan was originally an employee of the Municipal Tobacco and Liquor Company. He was sick at home a few years ago and lived with his son's family in the family home of the Civil Affairs Bureau of the district where his son worked.Because Wei Pan lived relatively close to her, Wu Bingbing decided to visit her first, starting with her investigation and understanding. In fact, from the operation registration and treatment follow-up records that she copied down, she already knew the general situation of Wei Pan—born in 1945, married for 32 years, had two children, a boy and a girl, and her husband died of illness many years ago.Wei Pan suffered from ischemic cardiomyopathy, commonly known as coronary heart disease, 10 years ago. After long-term medical treatment, he did not improve. The condition became more and more serious, and he chose a heart transplant when he was on the verge of the end stage. Surgery in April 1997.A 38-year-old rural woman with a brain tumor gave her her heart before she died, and she survived in good health.

In the family courtyard of the District Civil Affairs Bureau, there is a small flower pond where a group of old ladies are exercising. Some stepped on the steps of the flower pond and squeezed their legs slowly, some took their children around the flower pond and swung their arms in circles, and some chatted in a pile, and after a while, they clapped their hands hahaha Laughing, someone bent down laughing, kept saying mother, mother, I laughed to death.After asking, I found out that the one who laughed the loudest was Aunt Wei Pan. When this short, fat, red-faced old lady stood in front of her, Wu Bingbing was stunned again—she clearly remembered that she saw a dead person in her dream yesterday, and that dead person was the picture in front of her. face.

Wu Bingbing didn't know what to say: "Auntie, aren't you in good health?" Aunt Wei Pan’s voice was very bright. After hearing what Bingbing said, and knowing that Bingbing had just undergone surgery, she had more to say: “It wasn’t so good in the past. Don’t mention those years, I suffered a lot, coronary heart disease I committed a crime, and I suffered from chest tightness and shortness of breath all day long. I felt so uncomfortable. Later, it became more and more serious, and I could only lie on my back at night, or sit, and I couldn’t breathe when I turned sideways. At the end... who knows if it can be cured? It must be that my aunt has accumulated virtue in her previous life, so that kind people help me like this. Girl, do you think it makes sense?"

Bingbing nodded: "That person?...Auntie is still in touch?" "Good man! Why don't you contact me! I often tell my children that my mother's life was given by others, and I can't forget about them. I often take a bus to the village, which is more than 100 miles away, to visit her home. She And two kids." "Her children know about this too?" "The child doesn't know, her man didn't tell the child." "Auntie, did you see her child...is there anything?—" She wanted to know if the aunt would have a psychological response when she saw the woman's child, and if there would be any abnormal behavior in her heart, but she couldn't say it directly, and she didn't know how to express it accurately.

The aunt sighed and said, "That man is both a father and a mother. The two children are very pitiful." After a while, Bingbing asked again: "Did Mommy still take medicine these years?" The aunt said: "Start taking. The medicine for rejection, and vitamins, calcium, magnesium tablets and so on. Sometimes I forget to take it when I am busy, and I forget it when I forget it, and I don't see any symptoms. I stopped taking it later. You Look, after four or five years, my health has recovered, and there is nothing wrong with me. I can eat and sleep now." "You can eat and sleep," Bingbing thought to herself repeatedly, "Do you sleep well? Don't you dream?"

"It's very good. I fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow." The aunt said, "I sleep until dawn every day, drink little water at night, and don't even wake up at night without urinating. I sleep so hard that I can't hear thunder. " "Night—dreams?" "Sleep well, no more dreams." "Didn't you have any dreams in the past few years?" "It seems that I have never had a dream, really not." "What happened before the operation? Didn't you dream?" "At that time, I had a lot of dreams. I couldn't sleep every day, and I kept dreaming." "No dreams, no more dreams, do you feel that something is missing?" "There's nothing less—what's the use of dreaming. I finally slept soundly for a few years, and it's not like before. Oh, I can't eat well, I can't sleep well, you don't know the pain——" Bingbing quickly persuaded her: "Stop talking, aunt, isn't it better now!" Later, Aunt Wei Pan asked about Bingbing's situation, and Bingbing briefly explained the old dream. The aunt grabbed her hand again and said, "Don't worry, girl, you'll be fine." Bingbing felt very warm and said: "Thank you, aunt, I will visit you often." Bingbing left her home phone number and her mobile phone number to Aunt Wei Pan, saying that she hoped that she would call frequently.Aunt Wei Pan kept sending Bingbing to the gate of the family courtyard. Bingbing walked a dozen steps and turned her head, Jing saw a white figure flashing into the courtyard, there was no one at the gate.She ran back quickly——seeing that Aunt Wei Pan had walked into the crowd for exercise, she looked around again, but there was no one in white clothes around.She smiled wryly and left in relief. After meeting Wei Pan, the doubts in Wu Bingbing's mind not only did not help to solve, but on the contrary made the doubts even worse-she never knew Aunt Wei Pan, but why did she see her in the dream?And saw her die?what happened?Just because they all had heart transplants?But what is the necessary connection between her and her? Besides, Aunt Wei Pan didn't have any adverse reactions, did she?No dream troubles of any kind, let alone ghosts in broad daylight.Not as many nightmares as she had, and the chase of the ghost who gave her heart. what happened?Wu Bingbing became more and more confused.But she decided to continue investigating. She took out the transcription cards of the other three "heart-changers" and wondered who to contact next. Kang Qiujing, female, born in 1978, works in the Tourism Reception Department of the Municipal Organ Service Center and lives in a residential area at No. 110 Yongde Street, Dongfeng Road. She underwent surgery in June 1999 due to severe dilated cardiomyopathy.The organ donor was a 29-year-old male. Xu Miaomiao, female, born in 1993, is a third-grade student in a primary school in this city. She lives in Room 202, Building 4, affiliated hospital of a machinery factory.The organ donor was a 65-year-old woman. He Guomin, male, born in 1949, an employee of the Municipal Urban Construction and Environmental Protection Company, currently lives in the coal yard in the eastern suburbs of this city. In 1992, he suffered partial myocardial necrosis due to fake alcohol poisoning, and underwent surgery in October 1999. The organ donor was a 59-year-old male. Among the three, Kang Qiujing was about the same age as her, and also suffered from congenital heart disease like her. It was recorded that she was in good health after the operation, and there was no recurrence of the old disease or other sequelae.She thought, would Kang Qiujing have the same feelings and experiences as her?But seeing that her job is to engage in tourism reception, she must be very busy during the day and not at home.Who should I go to first?Are you looking for Xu Miaomiao?At this time, I have to go to school. There are so many noisy students, it is better to go home.During the day, I can only go to He Guomin, he may be at home.In this way, she took a car to the coal yard in the eastern suburbs. Unexpectedly, she ran for half an afternoon and couldn't find anyone. That He Guomin went to work, and the door was locked. She asked the neighbors left and right, but she didn't find out why. When she came back, she was sitting on the bus, still thinking How to investigate next.The bus stopped at the intersection.Looking ahead, dozens of cars have been blocked.The car behind also blocked there.The driver and passengers were shouting, and it was a mess.Some people put their heads out of the car window to look around and asked loudly what's the matter.Those who don't know each other talk in disorder, talking to each other, as if they are very excited.I heard someone ask, is there a car accident ahead?dead?Some people replied, it must have been a car accident, and there was no way to keep him alive.Some people complained, "What are the police doing?"At this time, the person who ran to the front came back and said that it was not a car accident, but a crime, the road was blocked by police cars, and the police were salvaging the body.He said he had a heart attack, and he looked more than 50 years old... Wu Bingbing couldn't explain why, and felt blocked for a while. She begged the driver to open the door and told her to walk back.She got out of the car, but squeezed forward desperately from the crowd until she reached the inner layer of the crowd of onlookers. Not only did she see the scene of the police salvaging the body, but she also clearly saw the face of the deceased——she couldn't help but take a deep breath.She had seen this scene in her dreams, and she had also seen this pale face in front of her.She was very sure that he was the He Guomin who had changed his heart just like her. In the evening of that day, Wu Bingbing came to the old city of Yongde Street. It was not until dark that he found the old house without a doorplate in the depths of the street, and pushed open the two old wooden doors with mottled paint. The yard was quiet.From the gate leading directly to the old house with green bricks and gray tiles, there is a corridor paved with crushed stones and square bricks, with a row of large and small flower pots on each side.Except for the cactus and agave, the other flowers are all wilted, the pots are full of weeds, and even the drought-tolerant thorn plum has become bare, only the clump of Xiangfei bamboo in the corner is still a bit rare green. Bingbing asked cautiously: "Is there anyone in the room?" The sound echoed in the empty courtyard, like walking into a gloomy cave. She stood there and looked around, and found a wisp of smoke wafting from the crack of the door. She judged that there might be someone inside, so she slowly opened the door and went in. "anyone there?" Unexpectedly, the ground inside the house was much lower than outside the threshold. When she pushed open the door and stepped in with one foot, she couldn't stand still. I ran forward a few steps before I could balance myself, thankfully I didn't fall down.In the dim light, she stood up straight and raised her head. A pale face was looking at her with wide eyes. "Ah—" She closed her eyes in fright, just like the scene in a dream. It was a huge human head, a charcoal portrait of a girl.She is pure and thin, demure and sad, with her head tilted slightly, and her eyes are aggrieved and helpless looking at Bingbing.Another woman she had seen in her dreams. There is a tripod-shaped incense burner in front, with incense sticks burning inside, and the curling smoke sets off the portrait with delicate lines, just like a continuation of a dream.Yes, she had seen her in her dreams, seen her dead. "Who are you?" Suddenly someone spoke behind her, and she was startled again. Looking back, it was a young man, and she quickly said, "Kang Qiujing's friend." The young man said, "Oh, how do you know?" Bingbing shook her head: "I didn't know, I didn't expect..." The young man said, "He left three days ago—I'm her brother Conley." She stepped forward and lit three sticks of incense for Kang Qiujing, thinking at the same time, why did she die suddenly? "Is she seriously ill again?" After a while, they came to the yard and looked at him Bingbing. "Who knows." Conley was very sad. "She has been fine." "Has her heart ever been abnormal after the operation?" "I haven't heard her say that. She keeps saying that her illness is all cured." "Has there been any abnormalities in her body these days?" "No, it's always been fine." Conley said again, "She was very busy at the reception of the unit in those two days, but she still talked and laughed every day when she came back, and she didn't hear anything wrong from her at all. I didn't want to sleep all night. I left in two days, I really didn't expect it." "Did you live at home that day?" "Well, after my parents passed away, there was only my sister and me." "Do you know what was wrong with her that night?" "No. That day she sent away a group of guests for the unit, and she was a little tired after returning, so she went to bed early at night. It was only in the middle of the night that she called out and woke me up. I asked her what was wrong. She said no What, I had a dream. After a while, she came out to pour water, take medicine, sat in the living room drinking water, and didn’t sleep for a long time. I didn’t fall asleep either, so I talked with her. She said it was a weird dream. The woman was pressing on her, making her breathless. I was surprised when I heard it, and said I wondered if someone had entered our house. She smiled and said, how could there be someone, it was a dream. I asked what it was like She said she was wearing white clothes and couldn’t see her face. I said she probably had a nightmare because she had a nightmare. Then she said she was fine and went to sleep again. Unexpectedly, the next morning, I called her, but she didn’t Should... no..." Conley bowed his head and cried, shoulders shrugging.Bingbing didn't know how to comfort him, so she put her hand on his shoulder.After he calmed down a bit, Bingbing asked: "Have you asked a doctor to check? What did they say? What could be the reason?" "Here we come, the doctor has checked." Conley said, "There is also a forensic doctor from the Public Security Bureau. After the examination, it was said that it was myocardial dysfunction or myocardial infarction, which led to suffocation and death." "Did your sister say that she often dreams?" "I don't know. She seems to seldom tell me that she has dreams." "Did anything superficially change in her body after she died?" "I only saw her face, which seemed to be in pain, but nothing else. The doctor also said that due to a myocardial infarction, a blood vessel in her heart burst." Afterwards, Conley lowered his head again, and Bingbing was silent for a long time. Bingbing patted Conley on the back and said, "Let's go to her room and have a look." She reached out and pulled Conley to his feet.Conley led her to her sister's room. The room is not big, and the decoration is very warm, with pink curtains, and the walls are covered with posters and posters that girls like. There is also a row of landscape photography above the table, which may be related to her career in tourism reception.In the bedside mirror frame is a full-body color photo of her, which looks delicate and beautiful, not the same person as the portrait. At this time, Bingbing found a bright red long strip of printed matter on the table, and couldn't help picking it up curiously, and looked at it carefully—it was the admission ticket for the museum exhibition, and the design was quite exquisite. Conley said: "No, she took a group of guests to see the art exhibition that morning, and when she came back in the evening, she told me that there was a female artist whose paintings were particularly good, and she wanted me to have time to go to the art exhibition..." That day, she sat until dark before Bingbing left Conley's house. Conley sent her to the entrance of the alley and said, "It's great that my sister has a friend like you!" The lights in the street outside were on.Because it is an old residential area, there are no vehicles and few pedestrians. Bing Bing was walking on the road where the shadows of the trees were dancing, still thinking about the conversation with Kang Li just now, and thinking about part of Kang Qiujing's diary that she had read just now.At this time, she suddenly heard the sound of "rustling" coming from behind, as if someone was walking, the soles of the shoes rubbed against the ground, the steps were small and light, from far to near, and followed unhurriedly. She turned her head, but saw nothing, no one, only the dim light, illuminating the empty street, casting mottled shadows.She ignored it, and walked forward on her own, but the voice sounded again, "Srustling", not far behind her. She turned around abruptly, but still saw no one.But found two rolling leaves.It obviously didn't have time to stop, still rolling straight towards her.She looked up at the tree, there was no wind, and she didn't understand why the leaves were rolling, so she stood there and stared at it hostilely.The leaf rolled a few meters away from her and stopped strangely.These are two ordinary, yellowing leaves. She has seen some small whirlwinds in the past, which also slid around with dust and leaves, and sometimes they would disperse by themselves after watching them.So now, with a self-deprecating smile, she turns and walks away. However, she hadn't walked halfway through the street, and heard the sound of "srustling" again—_this time she saw clearly that not only were the two leaves moving again, but they were always following behind her.The leaves rolled lightly against the ground, as if being kicked forward by an invisible foot, or as if being blown up by the wind wrapped in someone's skirt while walking, and fell down again... Thinking of this, she couldn't help but quicken her pace.But the leaves are also rolling fast, "srustling" The sound is louder.She started to run, and the two leaves followed suit, floating higher and higher, like two huge butterflies, chasing her in mid-air, one after the other... She finally understood that it was her!It's the woman behind! She yelled loudly and ran forward desperately.He ran to the end of the street in one breath. Standing at the intersection of the brightly lit square, looking back at that remote street, the leaves just now disappeared...