Chapter 35 Conversation with the mummy

The drinks from the night before would overwhelm my nerves.I have a splitting headache and feel drowsy.Therefore, I canceled my plans to go out at night.I thought it wiser to go to bed after a few mouthfuls of supper. Of course, dinner must be light.I'm a big fan of Welsh cheeses, though there's not always a good time to eat a pound of cheese at a meal.Having said that, if I eat two pounds, my stomach can still accept it, and there is only a small difference between two pounds and three pounds. I probably took the risk of eating a fourth pound. My wife insisted that it was five pounds-she Apparently two things were getting mixed up.I am willing to admit the abstract number five, but it refers specifically to the number of bottles of brown stout.Welsh cheese is almost unpalatable without this wine as an accompaniment.

After a frugal supper thus finished, I put on my nightcap, hopefully till noon next day, and threw myself on the pillow.Since I had no distractions, I soon fell into a deep sleep. However, when has a person's wish come true?Before I finished my third snore, the doorbell rang suddenly.Then there was a rapid knock on the door, which woke me up immediately.A minute later, while I was still rubbing my eyes, my wife shoved a note in front of my eyes. It was from my old friend, Dr. Bonona.The note reads: When I read "Bonona", I realized that I was fully awake. I jumped out of bed in ecstasy, threw everything out of the way, and dressed with amazing speed. ran to the doctor's house.

A lot of eager people had already gathered there, waiting impatiently for me.The mummy lay flat on the dining table, and the inspection began as soon as I entered the room. It was one of two mummies brought back by Captain Arthur Sabritash, Dr. Bonona's nephew, some years before.It was originally buried in a tomb near Eresias in the mountains of Libya, far from Thebes on the upper Nile.The caves in this area, though less magnificent than the dolmens at Thebes, are more interesting.Because they preserve a large number of testimonies of the folk life of the Egyptian people.The cave in which our mummy resides is said to be full of such things—the walls are covered in frescoes and bas-reliefs, along with statues, vases, and richly patterned mosaics, showing the great wealth of the deceased.

This treasure has been stored in the museum in the same condition as when Captain Sabritash saw it-that is, the coffin was intact.For eight years it sat there like that.People can only visit its appearance.Thus, the mummies now at our disposal are intact.Those who understand how rare it is for such an antique to reach our shores unlooted will at once understand that we have every reason to celebrate our good fortune. I went to the table, and beheld on it a large box, or trunk, nearly seven feet long, about three feet wide, and two and a half feet high.It was rectangular—not the shape of a coffin.We thought it was made of maple wood at first, but when we cut into it with a knife we ​​found out it was cardboard, or more precisely, pulpboard made from agave grass.It was covered with pictures showing funeral scenes and other mourning - many of which had the same set of hieroglyphs written in different patterns, apparently representing the names of the dead.Fortunately Mr. Glidden was one of us, and he translated the letters without difficulty.It turned out that they were only syllables denoting the word "Olamistaihong".

It was a tricky business to open the box without damaging it, and when we had finally finished the project, we found that there was another box inside, shaped like a coffin.Much smaller than the one outside, but otherwise identical.The space between the two boxes was filled with rosin, somewhat wearing away the color of the box inside. Opened the second box (without much effort this time), and inside was another box, also in the shape of a coffin, very similar to the second box, but the wood was different, it was cedar, which still smelled of pine Special aromatic smell.There was no gap between the second and third boxes—the two boxes fit together perfectly.

Opening the third box, we found the mummy and took it out.We had expected it to be wrapped in thick layers of linen or strips of cloth, as usual, but it turned out that the body was not wrapped, but contained in a case.The case was of papyrus, plastered with plaster, gilded, and painted all over.The pictures show the duties of the soul of the dead and its reception by various gods, as well as many of the same portraits, probably of the mummified person.The cover has a column or vertical inscription from head to toe, written in phonetic and pictographic characters, still bearing his name and identity, and those of his relatives.

Undoing the cover from the neck of the mummy reveals a collar made of colorful cylindrical glass beads strung into figures such as gods, praying mantises, and a ball with wings.A similar frieze or girdle is also worn around the waist. Peeling off the papyrus, we found that the flesh was perfectly preserved and smelled nothing.The complexion is reddish, the skin is firm, smooth and lustrous, the teeth and hair are also intact, the eyeballs (seem to be) have been removed and replaced with glass ones, very beautiful and actually lifelike, just staring too persistently.The fingers and nails are all gold, which is really dazzling.

From the fact that the skin was reddened, Mr. Glidden believed that tar was used for the embalming.But we scraped the surface of the body with a steel instrument, and threw the resulting powder into the fire, which evidently smelled of camphor and other fragrant gums. We carefully searched the corpse for the incisions usually left when eviscerating, but unexpectedly found none.Back then none of us knew that intact, undiscovered mummies were actually not uncommon.The usual practice was to extract the brains from the nose; cut the guts through the side of the body, and then shaved the body, washed it, rubbed it with salt grains, and after a few weeks, began to embalm it with spices—this is an accurate statement.

Because there was no trace of the incision, Dr. Bonona began to prepare the instruments for the dissection. At this time, I noticed that the time was already past two o'clock in the morning.It was therefore decided to postpone the autopsy until the next evening.We were about to part ways for a while when someone suddenly suggested an experiment or two with voltaic batteries. The idea of ​​applying electric currents to mummies that are at least three or four thousand years old is ingenious, if not brilliant, and we all agree.In this way, we connected a set of batteries in the doctor's study half as seriously and nine times as a joke, and carried the Egyptian in.

It took us a lot of trouble to expose several muscles in the temple area of ​​​​the corpse.They did not look as rigid as the rest of the body, but as we expected, when the wires were connected, the muscles did not respond to the current at all. This first experiment seemed to be the final word.So we laughed heartily at our absurdity.But when everyone was saying good night to each other, my eyes happened to fall on the eyes of the mummy, and I was stunned in surprise.In fact, in that short glimpse, I was convinced I saw what we thought were glass eyeballs, apparently fixed on something, almost closed, and only a small portion of white was visible. membrane.

I yelled loudly and got the attention of others.This fact was immediately recognized by everyone. I can't say that this phenomenon frightened me, because "frightened" is not the exact word for me.I might have been a little nervous, though, if it wasn't for the emboldened sip of brown stout.As for the others present, they couldn't even bother to hide their extreme fear.Doctor Bonona was out of his wits.In some mysterious way Mr. Glidden made himself disappear without a trace.I don't think Mr. Siri Buckingham will blatantly deny that he crawled under the table with all his hands and feet. After a moment of horror, however, we of course decided to continue the experiment at once, this time starting with the thumb of the right foot.We made an incision on the lateral side of the thumb sesamoid, exposing the root of the abductor muscle.We readjusted the battery, this time connecting the current to the severed nerve - suddenly, as if the mummy came to life, the right knee lifted, almost touching the belly, and the right leg kicked down with incredible force , kicked Dr. Bonona so violently that the gentleman flew out of the window like an arrow, and fell to the street below. We all rushed out to collect the broken body of the victim, but we were overjoyed to meet him on the stairs. He was climbing upstairs in a hurry, his whole body was filled with a passionate desire for knowledge, and he was more determined than before to go all out. determination to experiment. So at his suggestion, we immediately made a deep cut on the tip of the nose of the dead body, and the doctor grabbed the dead man's nose with his own hands, and roughly connected the electric current. Both spiritually and materially - figuratively and literally - the effect is electric.In the first step, the mummy's eyes opened and blinked rapidly for a few minutes, as Mr. Barnes does in pantomime, in the second, he sneezed, in the third, he sat up, and in the third At four steps, he shook his fist at Dr. Bonona, and at the fifth step, he turned to Mr. Glidden and Mr. Buckingham, and said to them in pure Egyptian: "I must say, gentlemen, that I am both ashamed and appalled by your conduct. Dr. Bonona is no wonder, he is a small, fat, poor brainless fool. I pity him and forgive him. But you, Mr. Glidden, and you, Mr. Seely Buckingham, you have traveled and lived in Egypt so long that you are supposed to have been born on a local estate—I mean, you have been among us so long. Time, I think you speak Egyptian as well as you write in your native tongue - I've always thought of you as loyal friends of the mummy - I expected you to be more gentlemanly, but you stand aside What do I think, let me be so insolently treated without saying a word? You let Tom, Dick, and Harry throw down my coffin, strip me of my clothes, and What do I think of helping and abetting that disgraceful little villain, Dr. Bonona, to grab my nose?" Most people must think that when we heard such words under the circumstances at that time, we either ran away from the door, or became hysterical, or fainted.The three must be one of them.In fact, it is possible for any one or all three of these three behaviors to occur at the time.And, to be honest, I don't know why we haven't adopted any of them, but perhaps the real reason is to be found in the spirit of our age.It itself develops according to the opposite law, and it is generally used to explain everything that is self-contradictory and impossible today.Or it may have been the very natural, unquestionable air of the mummy that prevented his words from inducing fear, and for whatever reason, the fact is that none of us seemed terrified, and didn't seem to feel particularly out of place. place. As far as I was concerned, I thought everything was alright, just standing aside, out of range of the Egyptian fists.Dr. Bonona put his hands in his trouser pockets and glared at the mummy, his face flushed.Mr. Glidden stroked his beard and turned up his shirt collar.Mr. Buckingham bowed his head and tucked the thumb of his right hand into the corner of his left mouth. The Egyptian looked at him gravely for a few minutes, then said sarcastically: "Why don't you speak, Mr. Buckingham? Do you hear me? Take your thumb out of your mouth!" Hearing this, Mr. Buckingham shook slightly, and pulled his right thumb out of the left corner of his mouth.As compensation, he stuffed his left thumb into the corner of his right mouth. The mummy, getting no answer from Mr. Buckingham, turned angrily to Mr. Glidden, and asked us in a commanding tone what we were about to do. Mr. Glidden gave a long reply in Egyptian.If it were not for the lack of hieroglyphic type in the American printing-offices, I should gladly transcribe here his splendid speeches. I may note by the way that all the following conversations with the mummies are in Ancient Egyptian, translated by Mr. Buckingham and Mr. Glidden (for myself and a few others who have not traveled extensively) .These two gentlemen spoke the mother tongue of the mummy fluently and beautifully, very authentically.I noticed, however (because of course the conversation dealt with quite modern concepts, which were no doubt completely foreign to this guest), that the two travelers sometimes had to resort to some intuitive means of expressing a particular point of view. mean.For example, once Mr. Glidden was unable to make the Egyptians understand the meaning of the word "politics", and at last he drew a charcoal drawing on the wall of a little gentleman with a rosy nose and rags, Standing on a tree stump, with the left leg tucked behind, the right hand is clenched and thrown forward, the eyes are facing the sky, and the mouth is opened at a right angle of ninety degrees.Likewise, Mr. Buckingham was unable to explain the very modern notion of a "wig," and at last (at the suggestion of Dr. Bonona) paled and agreed to take it off his head. It can be understood that the main content of Mr. Glidden's speech was the great significance of dismantling the mummy and dissecting it to science, and at the same time, he was concerned about the troubles caused to him—the mummy named "Olamist Taihong" Apologizes.A final subtle hint (subtle hint at best): Now that these little things are explained, let's move on.Here Dr. Bonona has prepared all the equipment. Oramistehon seems to have had some scruples about this last suggestion of the orator, and I don't know what the substance is.However, he expressed his satisfaction with our apology, for which he jumped from the table to shake our hands one by one. After the ceremony, everyone rushed to repair the scalpel damage suffered by our experimental subjects.We sewed up the wound on his temple, bandaged his foot, and put a one-inch square of black plaster on the tip of his nose. At this moment we see the count (this seems to be the title of Olamistethon) slightly shivering - no doubt suffering from a cold.The doctor rushed to his closet at once, and in an instant retrieved a black coat of the best model from Jennings's clothing store, a pair of sky blue plaid suspenders, a pink plaid underwear, and a cuffed A brocade vest, a white overcoat, a crooked cane, a beanie, a pair of black patent leather shoes, a pair of pale yellow suede gloves, a pair of spectacles, a beard, and a waterfall bow tie.Due to the difference in size between the earl and the doctor (approximately two to one ratio), there were some difficulties in adding these clothes to the Egyptian, but when everything was done, he could be said to be fully clothed.Mr. Glidden gave him his arm, and led him into a comfortable chair by the fire, whereupon the doctor rang the bell for cigars and wine. The conversation quickly heated up.Naturally, we were greatly intrigued by the unusual fact that Oramis Taihong was still alive. "I thought," said Mr. Buckingham, "that you should be dead long ago." "What?" the count looked shocked, "I'm only over seven hundred years old, my father lived a thousand years, and he didn't even reach the point of being incompetent when he died." This gave rise to a lively series of questions and calculations, and at last it was discovered that there was clearly a serious error in the age of the mummy.He was buried in the tomb of Eresias five thousand fifty years and a few months ago. "But what I mean," continued Mr. Buckingham, "is not the age at which you were buried, (as a matter of fact I am quite willing to admit that you were a young man), but the long period of time you were buried in the asphalt. time, and from the way you look, you are tarred." "Wrapped in what?" asked the count. "Asphalt," repeated Mr. Buckingham. "Ah, yes; I kind of see what you mean, of course tar might work too—but in our time we only used mercuric dichloride." "But we are particularly puzzled," Mr. Bonona said, "you were buried in Egypt five thousand years ago, how can you be resurrected here today, and look quite good?" "If I had been dead, as you say," replied the count, "it is probable that I am still a dead body; for I see that you are still in the infancy of galvanic therapy, and cannot accomplish what we have seen in ancient times. Quite ordinary. What actually happened was that when I passed out, my friends thought I was dead, or at least dying, and immediately mummified me—I suppose you know the main principle of mummification?" "Oh, not exactly." "Ah, I see it; what pathetic ignorance! I will not go into details here, but it is necessary to say that mummification in Egypt meant (accurately speaking) the indefinite cessation of all animal functions of the subject. I Refers to 'animality' in the broadest sense, including not only physical, but also spiritual and essential beings. I repeat, our first principle of mummification is to suspend and endlessly suspend all animal functions of the person being made , simply put, what state a person is in when he is mummified remains in that state. Since I am fortunate to be of the dung beetle lineage, I was mummified alive, as you can see now. " "Dung beetle blood!" exclaimed Dr. Bonona. "That's right. The dung beetle is the emblem or 'armor' of a very prominent and rare family. Having dung beetle blood means belonging to one of the family members marked by the dung beetle emblem. I'm speaking metaphorically." "But what does that have to do with your life?" "It's like this. In Egypt, the general method of making mummies is to hollow out the internal organs and brains of the corpse before applying embalming spices; only the dung beetle family does not follow this chapter. So if I am not a member of the dung beetle family, my The guts and the brain would cease to exist; and the absence of either would make life inconvenient." "I understand that," said Mr. Buckingham, "so all the intact mummies we have got belong to the dung beetle family?" "There is no doubt about it." "I thought," said Mr. Glidden, with great humility, "that the dung beetle was one of the gods of Egypt." "One of what in Egypt?" cried the mummy, standing up abruptly. "One of the gods," repeated the traveler. "Mr. Glidden, I am greatly shocked to hear you speak in this manner," said the count, sinking back into his chair. "No nation on earth recognizes more than one god. For us the dung beetle, the spirit bird, etc. (as similar animals are for others) are symbols, the medium through which we worship the Creator, the Creator So sublime, it cannot be approached in a more direct way." A moment's silence ensued, and finally Dr. Bonona resumed the conversation. "Then, according to your explanation just now," he said, "it is very likely that there are mummies of other dung beetle families in the tomb near the Nile River, all of which are still alive?" "There is no doubt about it," answered the count. "Anyone who happens to be mummified alive continues to live. There are even people who were mummified in this way on purpose and who, due to the negligence of their creators, may still be left in the tomb today." "Can you explain," I said, "what you mean by 'intentionally mummified'?" "I'm willing to help." The mummy took a leisurely look at me from behind the glasses before answering—because this was the first time I'd ventured to ask him a question directly. "At your service," he said, "in my time the average human lifespan was about eight hundred years. Except by extremely rare accidents, very few people died before the age of six hundred, and those who lived beyond the age of a thousand There are very few people, and 800 years is considered a normal lifespan. After discovering the mummy making method I just told you, our philosophers thought that if this natural lifespan is divided into several parts to live, we can Satisfying our laudable curiosity can also make great progress in science. Indeed, from the perspective of history, experience has proved that this approach is very necessary. For example, a historian who lived to be five hundred years old Sometimes, you can write a work with a lot of effort, and then have him carefully mummified, and make it clear to the maker in advance, let them revive him after a period of time—such as five or six hundred years. At the end of the time, he came back to life and must have found his great book reduced to a sort of scribbled notebook—that is to say, into hordes of exasperated critics declaring contradictory speculations. The arena of literature, criticism and personal attacks. These speculations in the name of annotations, revisions, etc., wantonly besieged and distorted the original text, so powerful that the author had to search for his own article with a lantern. Finally find, and always find that it is not worth wasting effort to find. After the historian has rewritten his work, it is also his mission to set about correcting posterity's misconceptions about the time in which he lived. Misrepresentation. This work of rewriting and personally correcting, carried out by individual philosophers, has effectively prevented our history from degenerating into mere nonsense." "Excuse me," interposed Dr. Bonona, putting his hand lightly on the Egyptian's arm, "excuse me, sir, may I interrupt you?" "Of course, sir," replied the count, breaking off. "I just want to ask you one question," said the doctor. "You just said that historians themselves correct the legends about the time in which he lived. Let me ask you, sir, how much of these mysteries are generally correct. where?" "These mysteries--that name you use is very apt--are generally as true as the facts recorded in unrewritten history--that is to say, nothing that is not terribly wrong and absurd." "However," the doctor went on, "since at least five thousand years have passed since your burial, I take it for granted that your history at that time—let alone the legends—must have had a profound effect on the human beings who have created the heaven and the earth. The subject of interest has been fairly well-discussed, and you are probably aware that this event occurred only a short millennium from your time." "Sir!" said Count Oramis Taihon. The doctor repeated his words and added many explanations before the foreigner could understand what he meant.At last the Egyptian hesitated and said: "I must confess that the point of view you speak of is unknown to me. Never in our time, so far as I know, has anyone conceived such a grotesque notion of the universe (or the world, if you will) ) had a beginning. I remember once, the only time, hearing a vague reference to the origin of man from a thoughtful man, and it was this man who spoke of the 'Adam' (or 'red earth' ') but he uses it in a general sense, meaning to grow naturally out of fertile soil (as a thousand lower creatures do)—I mean, naturally Five great groups of human beings arose simultaneously in five distinct and roughly equal parts of the earth." We all shrugged our shoulders at this, and one or two of us touched our foreheads meaningfully.Mr. Siri Buckingham cast a contemptuous glance first at the occiput, then at the front of the skull of Oramis Taihun, and said: "People in your time lived so long, and, as you just said, sometimes divided their lives into several periods, this must have been very helpful to the general development and accumulation of knowledge. Therefore, in my opinion, the ancient The reason why the Egyptians lag far behind modern humans, especially Americans, in all specific sciences can only be due to the unusual hardness of the skulls of the Egyptians." "I must confess again," the count replied modestly, "I do not quite understand what you mean. What specific sciences are you referring to?" All of us rushed to the floor, enumerating in great detail a great deal of the hypotheses of phrenology and the wonders of animal magnetism. After listening to us, the earl related a few anecdotes to make us understand that in Egypt, the archetypes of Gawler and Sporsham had experienced their rise and fall in ancient, almost forgotten times.Mesmer's tricks were child's play compared to the real miracles performed by the scholars of Thebes, who could conjure fleas and many such things. At this point I interjected to ask the count if anyone in his time could have calculated a solar eclipse.He smiled disapprovingly and said they could do it. I was a little discouraged, but immediately started asking him some questions about astronomy knowledge.Then my silent companion among us whispered to me that I'd better see Ptolemy (Ptolemy, second century AD Greek astronomer, geographer, and mathematician) .) (God knows who Ptolemy is), and Plutarch (Plutarch (after about 46-119), a Greek biographer.) The moon phase theory. I then asked the mummy if she had ever seen a fire mirror and a lens, and if she knew anything about glass making in general.But before I could finish my question, my silent friend touched my elbow lightly and begged me, for God's sake, to read Deodorus Sicles .As for the Earl, he did not answer my question directly, but only asked me whether modern people have microscopes for carving exquisite reliefs on gemstones like the Egyptians did.While I was considering my answer, the little Dr. Bonona spoke in a very peculiar way. "Look at our building," he cried out, to the indignation of the two travelers, who pinched him black and blue to no avail. "Go and see," he exclaimed impulsively, "look at the fountains on the New York lawn! If that's too far-fetched, look at the Capitol in Washington!" Then the diminutive doctor described it in great detail. The proportions of the parts of the building to which he refers.He said that the porch alone was decorated with twenty-four columns, each five feet in diameter, and spaced ten feet apart. The count said that it was a pity that he couldn't remember the specific area of ​​the main buildings in Aznak City. They were built in ancient times, but until the time of his burial, those ruins still stood in the vast desert west of Thebes.However (speaking of the porch) he remembered a smaller palace in a certain suburb called Carnac, the porch of which consisted of a hundred and forty-four columns, each thirty-seven feet in circumference, Twenty-five feet apart.A two-mile road ran from the Nile to the portico of the palace, lined with sphinxes, statues, and obelisks, ranging in height from twenty, sixty, to a hundred feet.The palace itself (as he recalled) measured two miles on a side and about seven miles in circumference, and the walls, both inside and outside, were richly painted with hieroglyphics.Although he didn't say with certainty that fifty or sixty Capitol buildings, as the doctor said, could be built within the walls of that palace, he obviously thought that a little overcrowding of two or three hundred Capitol buildings might not necessarily make it impossible to fit in.However, he (the earl) could not deny that the fountain on the grass court described by the doctor was indeed novel, magnificent and incomparable.He had to admit that he had never seen a similar design in Egypt or elsewhere. Then I asked the Duke what he thought of our railroad. "Nothing special," he said, "not worth mentioning at all. Poorly designed and roughly laid, certainly not as good as our wide, straight masonry with iron channels, on which the Egyptians could Transport the entire temple and its solid obelisk to a height of one hundred and fifty feet." Again I mentioned our enormous mechanical power. He admitted that we did have some knowledge in this area, but then asked me how to put the capitals of such a small palace as Carnac on the lintel. I decided to play dumb at the question and instead asked him if he knew about artesian wells, and he just raised his eyebrows.Mr. Glidden, winking at me desperately, told me in a low voice that the engineers employed to drill for water in the Great Oasis had just discovered an Egyptian artesian well. When I mentioned our steel again, the foreigner raised his nose and asked if our steel could bear the vivid carvings on the obelisk, which were all carved with sharp copper tools. Now that we were in such disarray, we decided that it would be better to turn the conversation to metaphysics.We sent for a "Sundial" ("Sundial", a general literary journal published by a group of "transcendentalists" in the Boston area in the 1830s. Emerson was the editor-in-chief.), read a part of it. Two chapters, obscure in content, dealt with what Bostonians called "the great progressive movement." The Earl said flatly that "great movements" were commonplace in their time, and that progress, which really troubled people for a while, never made any progress. We then spoke of the beauty and importance of democracy, and wondered how to make the earl feel exactly the benefits we enjoy in this age of free voting without a monarch. He listened with interest, and seemed to be amused.When we were done talking, he said something very similar had happened a long time ago.The thirteen provinces of Egypt suddenly decided to be independent at the same time, setting a shining example for mankind, and they elected a meeting of resourceful men to write a constitution ingenious and uniquely conceived.For a time they made a splash; but their bragging skills were also appalling.The end result was that these thirteen provinces were united with fifteen or twenty others in one of the most loathsome and intolerable despotisms that the world has ever seen. I asked the name of the usurping tyrant. The count said he remembered it as "the mob." I had nothing to say but raised my voice and lamented that the Egyptians knew nothing about steam. The count looked at me in astonishment, but made no answer.It was the silent gentleman who elbowed me hard in the ribs--told me I had made a fool of myself this time--and asked me if I was really stupid enough not to know that the modern steam engine was born of Gaussian Solomon. Inspired by Hero's invention. We were about to get into trouble, but fortunately, Dr. Bonona recovered his strength and rescued us.He asked the Egyptians if they dared to compete with modern people in important clothing. Hearing this, the count looked down at the suspenders of his trousers, held up a hem of his clothes, held it up to his eyes, and looked at it carefully for a few minutes. Finally, he let go of his hands and slowly opened his mouth wide.But I don't recall him saying anything in response. We regained our spirits, and the doctor asked the mummy solemnly, hoping that he would answer frankly in the name of a gentleman, whether the Egyptians-whatever the period-had ever mastered the method of making Bo's liquid medicine or Brandelis tablet. We waited impatiently for his answer--but it didn't come, he couldn't answer it.The Egyptian blushed and lowered his head.Never had a more complete victory been experienced, nor had anyone seen such a crushing defeat.I suddenly could not bear to look at the poor mummy's humiliation any longer, so I took my hat, bowed unnaturally to him, and took my leave. When I got home, I found it was four in the morning and went straight to bed.It is ten in the morning and I got up at seven to write these notes for the benefit of my family and all of humanity.My family I will never see again.My wife is a shrew.As a matter of fact, I am heartily tired of this life, of the whole nineteenth century.I think everything is hopeless now.And I'd love to know who the president is in 2045.So, as soon as I shaved and drank a cup of coffee, I immediately went to Dr. Bonona and asked him to mummify me and sleep there for two or three hundred years.