The chances of life are amazing.Who you meet, on which day you meet, maybe fate has its own arrangements in the dark.There are not a few times in a person's life that can be called a unique adventure.Some people may never encounter it once in their life.I met Qiuyue in Beijing two years ago, which was an adventure in my mediocre life for more than 30 years.I believe she is a very gift from fate to me.She opened the door to another world for me, where institutions are everywhere, with infinite meaning, and every wind and grass has profound meaning. It is a world that ordinary people can't imagine or reach.She completely refreshed my heart and subverted my imagination and understanding of the world.In the following two years, her story has been lingering in my heart, making me restless.I felt that without writing her story, I couldn't settle, and I couldn't do anything else.Her name is Qiuyue now.At first she was Chen Jiao, later she was called Yue Lin, and then she became Helen, and when she was the most youthful, she was Zhang Xiaolu.Every name bears witness to her completely different life.The complexity of her life experience makes me feel awe and shudder every time I think of it.Later, I watched a lot of undercover novels and film and television dramas, and felt that although their plots were ups and downs and exciting, I always felt that there was something missing, which made the characters not full-bodied.Because of the lack of positive descriptions of the psychology of undercover agents.In order to get close to the target of work, the undercover agent needs to do everything he can to match his preferences, and even have a skin-to-skin relationship with him.Although it is acting, whether you can get close to and win the opponent depends on your acting skills and your degree of involvement in the play.If you don't devote yourself very much and don't give your "true feelings", the other party will not be caught.When the task is completed, seeing the lover who died in his own hands yesterday, and facing the unbelievable eyes of the other party, is the undercover heart full of joy of victory or is it pierced by thousands of arrows?Continuously cheating, constantly sacrificing oneself to complete tasks, what kind of harm will it cause to the undercover heart and future life?

Undercover, is it a sacred profession or a dirty job?Is it okay to always think you are holy by doing dirty work for a holy purpose?No one will ever know how many people in the world have been or are practicing this ancient and mysterious profession.Quite a few of them died in the process of carrying out their tasks, and those who were lucky enough to escape unscathed, because of discipline and taboos, had to keep their mouths shut even to their closest relatives.Those pasts, like wounds engraved in the heart, will never heal, and if caught off guard, they will be touched and dripping with blood.I met Qiuyue when she was the weakest. Under my guidance, she told me her own story in order to relieve her inner burden.As a writer, it's lucky to get a story like this.So I wanted to write the story and present it in its entirety in the form of a novel.For me, this is a novel about fate.

I want to write about the extraordinary fate of an extraordinary woman, and about a woman born in a peaceful age who is engulfed in the vortex of fate, the kind of involuntary helplessness, confusion, struggle and nirvana in the ups and downs of fate.Camus said: Literature cannot make people live better, but it can make people live more.This novel is a tribute to her and those who are engaged in the dangerous undercover profession like her, and it is also a woman like me who lives an ordinary life but longs for a violent life in her heart. An imaginative gratification accomplished in writing.I need to complete a transformation of myself in this writing.In order not to cause unnecessary trouble to the protagonist of the story, I did some technical processing on Chen Jiao's story when writing.Now, please dive in with me and enter her story.