Chapter 17 Part Two-5

He watched the slow agglutination of capital and power and he sees its pinnacle today. He sees America as a crazy house. He sees how men have to rob their brothers in order to live. He sees children starving and women working sixty hours a week to get to eat. He sees a whole damn army of unemployed and billions of dollars and thousands of miles of land wasted. He sees war coming. He sees how when people suffer just so much they get mean and ugly and something dies in them. But the main thing he sees is that the whole system of the world is built on a lie. And although its as plain as the shining sun—the dont-knows have lived with that lie so long they just cant see it.'

The red corded vein in Jakes forehead swelled angrily. He grasped the scuttle on the hearth and rattled an avalanche of coal on the fire. His foot had gone to sleep, and he stamped it so hard that the floor shook. I been all over this place. I walk around. I talk. I try to explain to them. But what good does it do? Lord God!' He gazed into the fire, and a flush from the ale and heat deepened the color of his face. The sleepy tingling in his foot spread up his leg. He drowsed and saw the colors of the fire, the tints of green and blue and burning yellow. Youre the only one, he said dreamily. "The only one."

He was a stranger no longer. By now he knew every street, every alley, every fence in all the sprawling slums of the town. He still worked at the Sunny Dixie. During the fall the show moved from one vacant lot to another, staying always within the fringes of the city limit, until at last it had encircled the town. The locations were changed but the settings were alike— a strip of wasteland bordered by rows of rotted shacks, and somewhere near a mill, a cotton gin, or a bottling plant. The crowd was the same, for the most part factory workers and Negroes. The show was gaudy with colored lights in the evening. The wooden horses of the flying-jinny revolved in the circle to the mechanical music. The swings whirled, the rail around the penny throwing game was always crowded.

From the two booths were sold drinks and bloody brown hamburgers and cotton candy. He had been hired as a machinist, but gradually the range of his duties widened. His coarse, bawling voice called out through the noise, and continually he was loung-ing from one place on the show grounds to another. forehead and often his mustache was soaked with beer. On Saturday his job was to keep the people in order. His squat, hard body pushed through the crowd with savage energy. Only his eyes did not share the violence of the rest of him, Wide Gazing beneath his massive scowling forehead, they had a withdrawn and distracted appearance.

He reached home between twelve and one in the morning. The house where he lived was squared into four rooms and the rent was a dollar fifty per person. There was a privy in the back and a hydrant on the stoop. In his room the walls and floor had a wet, sour smell. Sooty, cheap lace curtains hung at the window. He kept his good suit in his bag and hung his overalls on a nail. The room had no heat and ho electricity. However, a street light shone outside the window and made a pale greenish reflection inside. He never lighted the oil lamp by his bed unless he wanted to read. The acrid smell of burning oil in the cold room nauseated him.

If he stayed at home he restlessly walked the floor. He sat on the edge of the unmade bed and gnawed savagely at the broken, dirty ends of his fingernails. The sharp taste of grime lingered in his mouth. The loneliness in him was so keen that he was filled with terror. Usually he had a pint of bootleg white lightning. He drank the raw liquor and by daylight he was warm and relaxed. At five oclock the whistles from the mills blew for the first shift. The whistles made lost, eerie echoes, and he could never sleep until after they had sounded. But usually he did not stay at home. He went out into the narrow, empty streets. In the first dark hours of the morning the sky was black and the stars hard and bright. Sometimes the mills were running. From the yellow-lighted buildings came the racket of the machines. He waited at the gates for the early shift. Young girls in sweaters and print dresses came out into the dark street. The men came out carrying their dinner pails.

Some of them always went to a streetcar café for Coca-Cola or coffee before going home, and Jake went with them. Inside the noisy mill the men could hear plainly every word that was spoken, but for the first hour outside they were deaf. I In the streetcar Jake drank Coca-Cola with whiskey added. He talked. The winter dawn was white and smoky and cold. He looked with drunken urgency into the drawn, yellow faces of the men. happened he held his stunted body very straight and spoke scornfully hi words of many syllables. He stuck his little finger out from his glass and haughtily twisted his mustache. And if he was still laughed at he sometimes fought. Crazed violence and sobbed aloud.

After such mornings he returned to the show with relief. It eased him to push through the crowds of people. The noise, the rank stinks, the shouldering contact of human flesh soothed his jangled nerves. Because of the blue laws hi the town the show closed for the Sabbath. On Sunday he got up early in the morning and took from the suitcase his serge suit. He went to the main street. First he dropped into the New York Cafe and bought a sack of ales. Then he went to Singers room. Although he knew many people in the town by name or face, the mute was his only friend. drink the ales. He would talk, and the words created themselves from the dark mornings spent in the streets or hi his room alone. The words were formed and spoken with relief.

The fire had died down. Singer was playing a game of fools with himself at the table. Jake had been asleep. He awoke with a nervous quiver. He raised his head and turned to Singer. Yeah, he said as though in answer to a sudden question. Some of us are Communists. But not all of us------. Myself, Im not a member of the CommunistParty. Because in the first place I never knew but one of them. You can bum around for years and not meet Communists. Around here theres no office where you can go up and say you want to join—and if there is I never heard of it. And you just dont take off for New York and join. As I say I never knew but one—and he was a seedy little teetotaler whose breath stunk. We had a fight. Not that I hold that against the Communists. The main fact is I dont think so much of Stalin and Russia. maybe I ought tojoined up with the Communists first place. Im not certain one way or the other. What do you think?'

Singer wrinkled his forehead and considered. He reached for his silver pencil and wrote on his pad of paper that he didnt know. But theres this. You see, we just cant settle down after knowing, but we got to act And some of us go nuts. Theres too much to do and you dont know where to start It makes you crazy. Even me—Ive done things that when I look back at them they dont seem rational Once I started an organization myself. I picked out twenty lint-heads and talked to them until I thought they knew. Our motto was one word: Action. trouble we could. Our ultimate goal was freedom—but a real freedom, a great freedom made possible only by the sense of justice of the human soul Our motto, "Action," signed the razing of capitalism. In the constitution (drawn up by myself) certain statutes dealt with the swapping of our motto from "Action" to "Freedom" as soon as our work was through.'

Jake sharpened the end of a match and picked a troublesome cavity in a tooth. After a moment he continued: "Then when the constitution was all written down and the first followers well organized—then I went out on a hitch-hiking tour to organize component units of the society. Within three months I came back, and what do you reckon I found? What was the first heroic action? Had their righteous fury overcome planned action so that they had gone ahead without me? Was it destruction, murder, revolution?' Jake leaned forward in his chair. After a pause he said somberly: My friend, they had stole the fifty-seven dollars and thirty cents from the treasury to buy uniform caps and free Saturday suppers. I caught them sitting around the conference table, rolling the bones, their caps on their heads, and a ham and a gallon of gin in easy reach.' A timid smile from Singer followed Jakes outburst of laughter. After a while the smile on Singers face grew strained and faded. Jake still laughed. The vein in his forehead swelled, his face was dusky red. the clock and indicated the time—half-past twelve. He took his watch, his silver pencil and pad, his cigarettes and matches from the mantel and distributed them among his pockets. It was dinner-time. But Jake still laughed. There was something maniacal in the sound of his laughter. He walked about the room, jingling the change in his pockets. His long, powerful arms swung tense and awkward. meal. When he spoke of food his face was fierce with gusto. With each word he raised his upper lip like a ravenous animal. Roast beef with gravy. Rice. And cabbage and light bread. And a big hunk of apple pie. Im famished. Oh, Johnny, I can hear the Yankees coming. And speaking of meals, my friend, did I ever tell you about Mr. Clark Patterson, the gentleman who owns the Sunny Dixie Show? Hes so fat he hasnt seen his privates for twenty years, and all day he sits in his trailer playing solitaire and smoking reefers. He orders his meals from a short-order joint nearby and every day he breaks his fast with----- -' Jake stepped back so that Singer could leave the room. He always hung back at doorways when he was with the mute. He always followed and expected Singer to lead. As they descended the stairs he continued to talk with nervous volume. , wide eyes on Singers face. The afternoon was soft and mild. They stayed indoors. Jake had brought back with them a quart of whiskey. He sat brooding and silent on the foot of the bed, leaning now and then to fill his glass from the bottle on the floor. Singer was at his table by the window playing a game of chess. Jake had relaxed somewhat. He watched the game of his friend and felt the mild, quiet afternoon merge with the darkness of evening. The firelight made dark, silent waves on the walls of the room. But at night the tension came in him again. Singer had put away his chess men and they sat facing each other. Nervousness made Jakes lips twitch raggedly and he drank to soothe himself. A backwash of restlessness and desire overcame him. He drank down the whiskey and began to talk again to Singer. window to the bed and back again—again and again. And at last the deluge of swollen words took shape and he delivered them to the mute with drunken emphasis: The things they have done to us! The truths they have turned into lies. they have fouled and made vile. Take Jesus. He was one of us. He knew. When He said that it is harder for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God —he damn well meant just what he said. But look what the Church has done to Jesus during the last two thousand years. What they have made of him. How they have turned every word he spoke for their own vile ends. Jesus would be framed and in jail if he was living today. Jesus would be one who really knows. Me and Jesus would sit across the table and I would look at him and he would look at me and we would both know that the other knew. Me and Jesus and Karl Marx could all sit at a table and------And look what has happened to our freedom. The men who fought the American Revolution were no more like these DAR dames than Im a pot-bellied, perfumed Pekingese dog. They meant what they said about freedom. They fought a real revolution. They fought so that this could be a country where every man would be free and equal. Huh! And that meant every man was equal in the sight of Nature—with an equal chance. This didn't mean that twenty per cent of the people were free to rob the other eighty per cent of the means to live. This didnt mean for one rich man to sweat the piss out of ten thousand poor men so that he can get richer. This didnt mean the tyrants were free to get this country in such a fix that millions of people are ready to do anything—cheat , lie, or whack off their right arm—just to work for three squares and a flop. They have made the word freedom a blasphemy. You hear me? They have made the word freedom stink like a skunk to all who know.' The vein in Jakes forehead throbbed wildly. His mouth worked convulsively. Singer sat up, alarmed, Jake tried to speak again and the words choked in his mouth. A shudder passed through his body. with his fingers. Then he said huskily: Its this way, Singer. Being mad is no good. Nothing we can do is any good. Thats the way it seems to me. All we? can do is go around telling the truth. And as soon as enough of the dont knows have learned the truth then there wont be any use for fighting. The only thing for us to do is let them know. All thats needed. But how? Huh?' The fire shadows lapped against the walls. The dark, shadowy waves rose higher and the room took on motion. The room rose and fell and all balance was gone. Alone Jake felt himself sink downward, slowly in wavelike motions downward into a shadowed ocean. In helplessness and terror he strained his eyes, but he could see nothing except the dark and scarlet waves that roared hungrily over him. Then at last he made out the thing which he sought. The mutes face was faint and very far away. his eyes. The next morning he awoke very late. Singer had been gone for hours. There was bread, cheese, an orange, and a pot of coffee on the table. When he had finished his breakfast it was time for work. head bent, across the town toward his room. When he reached the neighborhood where he lived he passed through a certain narrow street that was flanked on one side by a smoke-blackened brick warehouse. On the wall of this building there was something that vaguely distracted him. He started to walk on, and then his attention was suddenly held. On the wall a message was written in bright red chalk, the letters drawn thickly and curiously formed: Ye shall eat the flesh of the mighty, and drink the blood of the princes of the earth. He read the message twice and looked anxiously up and down the street. No one was in sight. After a few minutes of puzzled deliberation he took from his pocket a thick red pencil and wrote carefully beneath the description:Whoever wrote the above meet me here Tomorrow at noon, Wednesday, November . Or the next day. At twelve oclock the next day he waited before the wall. . Now and then he walked impatiently to the corner to look : up and down the streets. No one came. After an hour he had to leave for the show. The next day he waited, also. Then on Friday there was a long, slow winter rain. The wall was sodden and the messages streaked so that no word could be read. The rain continued, gray and bitter and cold. ICK, Bubber said. I come to believe we all gonna drown. It was true that it like to never quit raining. Mrs. Wells rode them back and forth to school in her car, and every afternoon they had to stay on the front porch or in the house. She and Bubber played Parcheesi and Old Maid and shot marbles on the living-room rug. It was nearing along toward Christmas time and Bubber began to talk about the Little Lord Jesus and the red bicycle he wanted Santa Claus to bring him. The rain was silver on the win-dowpanes and the sky was wet and cold and gray. The river rose so high that some of the factory people had to move out of their houses. Then when it looked like the rain would keep on and on forever it suddenly stopped. They woke up one morning and the bright sun was shining. By afternoon the weather was almost warm as summer. Mick came home late from school and Bubber and Ralph and Spareribs were on the front sidewalk. hot and sticky and their winter clothes had a sour smell . Bubber had his slingshot and a pocketful of rocks. Ralph sat up in his wagon, his hat crooked on his head, and he was fretful. Spareribs had bis new rifle with him. The sky was a wonderful blue. We waited for you a long time, Mick, Bubber said. Where you been?' She jumped up the front steps three at a time and threw her sweater toward the hat rack. Practicing on the piano in the gym.' Every afternoon she stayed after school for an hour to play. The gym was crowded and noisy because the girls team had basketball games. Twice today she was hit on the head with the ball. But getting a chance to sit at a piano was worth any amount of knocks and trouble. She would arrange bunches of notes together until the sound cameth that she wanted. It was eaiser than she had thought. After the first two or three hours she figured out some sets of chords in the bass that would fit in with the main tune her right hand was playing. out almost any piece now. And she made up new music too. That was better than just copying tunes. When her hands hunted out these beautiful new sounds it was the best feeling she had ever known. She wanted to learn how to read music already written down. Delores Brown had taken music lessons for five years. She paid Delores the fifty cents a week she got for lunch money to give her lessons. This made her very hungry all through the day. Delores played a good many fast, runny pieces—but Delores did not know how to answer all the questions she wanted to know. Delores only taught her about the different scales, the major and minor chords, the values ​​of the notes, and such beginning rules as those. Mick slammed the door of the kitchen stove. "This all we got to eat?" Honey, it the best I can do for you, Portia said. Just cornpones and margarine. As she ate she drank a glass of water to help wash down the swallows. Quit acting so greedy. Nobody going to snatch it out your hand.' The kids still hung around in front of the house. Bubber had put his slingshot in his pocket and now he played with the rifle. Spareribs was ten years old and his father had died the month before and this had been his fathers gun-All the smaller kids loved to handle that rifle. Every few minutes Bubber would haul the gun up to his shoulder. He took aim and made a loud pow sound. Dont monkey with the trigger, said Spareribs. got the gun loaded.' Mick finished the cornbread and looked around for something to do. Harry Minowitz was sitting on his front porch banisters with the newspaper. She was glad to see him. For a joke she threw up her arm and hollered to him, Heil!' But Harry didnt take it as a joke. He went into his front hall and shut the door. It was easy to hurt his feelings. She was sorry, because lately she and Harry had been right good friends. gangwhen they were kids, but in the last three years he had been at Vocational while she was still in grammar school. Also he worked at part-time jobs. He grew up very suddenly and quit hanging around the back and front yards with kids. Sometimes she could see him reading the paper in his bedroom or undressing late at night. In mathematics and history he was the smartest boy at Vocational. Often, now that she was in high school too, they would meet each other on the way home and walk together. They were in the same shop class, and once the teacher made them partners to assemble a motor. He read books and kept up with the newspapers every day. World politics were all the time on his mind. He talked slow, and sweat stood out on his forehead when he was very serious about something. And now she had made him mad with her. I wonder has Harry still got his gold piece, Spareribs said. What gold piece?' When a Jew boy is born they put a gold piece in the bank for him. Thats what Jews do.' Shucks. You got it mixed up, she said. Its Catholics youre thinking about. Catholics buy a pistol for a baby soon as its born. Some day the Catholics mean to start a war and kill everybody else.' Nuns give me a funny feeling, Spareribs said. It scares me when I see one on the street.' She sat down on the steps and laid her head on her knees. She went into the inside room. With her it was like there was two places—the inside room and the outside room. School and the family and the things that happened every day were in the outside room. Mister Singer was in both rooms. Foreign countries and plans and music were in the inside room. The songs she thought about were there. And the symphony. When she was by herself hi this inside room the music she had heard that night after the party would come back to her. This symphony grew slow like a big flower in her mind. During the day sometimes, or when she had just woke up in the morning, a new part of the symphony would suddenly come to her. Then she would have to go into the inside room and listen to it many times and try to join it into the parts of the symphony she remembered. The inside room was a very private place. She could be in the middle of a house full of people and still feel like she was locked up by herself. Spareribs stuck his dirty hand up to her eyes because she had been staring off at space. She slapped him. What is a nun? Bubber asked. A Catholic lady, Spareribs said. A Catholic lady with a big black dress that comes up over her head.' She was tired of hanging around with the kids. She would go to the library and look at pictures in the National Geographic. Photographs of all the foreign places in the world. Paris, France. And big ice glaciers. And the wild jungles in Africa. You kids see that Ralph dont get out in the street, she said. Bubber rested the big rifle on his shoulder. Bring me astory back with you.' It was like that kid had been born knowing how to read. He was only in the second grade but he loved to read stories by himself—and he never asked anybody else to read to him. What kind you want this time?' Pick out some stories with something to eat in them. I like that one a whole lot about them German kids going out in the forest and coming to this house made out of all different kinds of candy and the witch. I like a story with something to eat in it.' I'll look for one, said Mick. But Im getting kinda tired of candy, Bubber said. See if you cant bring me a story with something like a barbecue sandwich in it. But if you cant find none of them Id like a cowboy story.' She was ready to leave when suddenly she stopped and stared. The kids stared too. They all stood still and looked at Baby Wilson coming down the steps of her house across the street. Aint Baby cute! said Bubber softly. Maybe it was the sudden hot, sunny day after all those rainy weeks. Maybe it was because their dark winter clothes were ugly to them on an afternoon like this one. Anyway Baby looked like a fairy or something in the picture show. She had on her last years soiree costume—with a little pink-gauze skirt that stuck out short and stiff, a pink body waist, pink dancing shoes, and even a little pink pocketbook. With her yellow hair she was all pink and white and gold—and so small and clean that it almost hurt to watch her. She prissed across the street in a cute way, but would not turn her face toward them. Come over here, said Bubber. Lemme look at your little pink pocketbook------' Baby passed them along the edge of the street with her head held to one side. She had made up her mind not to speak to them. There was a strip of grass between the sidewalk and the street, and when Baby reached it she stood still for a second and then turned a handspring. Dont pay no mind to her, said Spareribs. She always tries to show off. Shes going down to Mister Brannons cafe to get candy. Hes her uncle and she gets it free.' Bubber rested the end of the rifle on the ground. The big gun was too heavy for him. As he watched Baby walk off down the street he kept pulling the straggly bangs of his hair. That sure is a cute little pink pocketbook, he said . Her Mama always talks about how talented she is, said Spareribs. She thinks she's gonna get Baby in the movies.' It was too late to go look at the National Geographic. Supper was almost ready. Ralph tuned up to cry and she took him off the wagon and put him on the ground. Now it was December, and to a kid Bubbers age that was a long time from summer. All last summer Baby had come out in that pink soiree costume and danced in the middle of the street. At first the kids would flock around and watch her, but soon they got tired of it. Bubber was the only one who would watch her as she came out to dance. He would sit on the curb and yell to her when he saw a car coming. He had watched Baby do her soiree dance a hundred times—but summer had been gone for three months and now it seemed new to him again. I sure do wish I had a costume, Bubber said. What kind do you want?' A real cool costume. A real pretty one made out of all different colors. Like a butterfly. Thats what I want for Christmas. That and a bicycle!' Sissy, said Spareribs. Bubber hauled the big rifle up to his shoulder again and took aim at a house across the street. Id dance around in my costume if I had one. Id wear it every day to school. Mick sat on the front steps and kept her eyes on Ralph . Bubber wasn't a sissy like Spareribs said. He just loved pretty things. Shed better not let old Spareribs get away with that. A persons got to fight for every single thing they get, she said slowly. And Ive noticed a lot of times that the farther down a kid comes in the family the better the kid really is. Younger kids are always the toughest. Im pretty hard cause Ive a lot of them on top of me. Bubber —he looks sick, and likes pretty things, but hes got guts underneath that. If all this is true Ralph sure ought to be a real strong one when hes old enough to get around. Even though hes just seventeen months old I can read something hard and tough in that Ralphs face already.' Ralph looked around because he knew he was being talked about. Spareribs sat down on the ground and grabbed Ralphs hat off his head and shook it in his face to tease him. AH right! Mick said. You know what do to you if you start him to cry. You just better watch out' Everything was quiet. The sun was behind the roofs of the houses and the sky in the west was purple and pink. On the next block there was the sound of kids skating. Bubber leaned up against a tree and he seemed to be dreaming about something . The smell of supper came out of the house and it would be time to eat soon. Lookit, Bubber said suddenly. Here comes Baby again. She sure is pretty in the pink costume.' Baby walked toward them slowly. She had been given a prize box of popcorn candy and was reaching in the box for the prize. She walked in that same prissy, dainty way. You could tell that she knew they were all looking at her. Please, Baby------ Bubber said when she started topass them. Lemme see your little pink pocketbook and touch your pink costume.' Baby started humming a song to herself and did not listen. She passed by without letting Bubber play with her. She only ducked her head and grinned at him a little. Bubber still had the big rifle up to his shoulder. He made a loud pow sound and pretended like he had shot Then he called to Baby again—in a soft, sad voice like he was calling a little kitty. Please, Baby—come here, Baby------' He was too quick for Mick to stop him. She had just seen his hand on the trigger when there was the terrible ping of the gun. Baby crumpled down to the sidewalk. It was like she was nailed to the steps and couldn't move or scream. Spareribs had his arm up over his head. Bubber was the only one that didnt realize. Get up, Baby, he hollered. I aint mad with you.' It all happened in a second. The three of them reached Baby at the same time. She lay crumpled down on the dirty sidewalk. Her skirt was over her head, showing her pink panties and her little white legs. Her hands were open—in one there was the prize from the candy and in the other the pocketbook. There was blood all over her hair ribbon and the top of her yellow curls. She was shot in the head and her face was turned down toward the ground. So much happened in a second. Bubber screamed and dropped the gun and ran. She stood with her hands up to her face and screamed too. Then there were many people. Her Dad was the first to get there. . Shes dead, said Spareribs. Shes shot through the eyes. I seen her face.' Mick walked up and down the sidewalk, and her tongue stuck in her mouth when she tried to ask was Baby killed. Mrs. Wilson came running down the block from the beauty parlor where she worked. She went into the house and came back out again. She walked up and down in the street, crying and pulling a ring on and off her finger. Then the ambulance came and the doctor went in to Baby. Mick followed him. Baby was lying on the bed in the front room. The house was quiet as a church. Baby looked like a pretty little doll on the bed. Except for the blood she did not seem hurt. The doctor bent over and looked at her head. After he finished they took Baby out on a stretcher. Mrs. Wilson and her Dad got into the ambulance with her.