Chapter 47 46 Liberation

Cheng Ren walked home with everyone, and he seemed very silent. People talked loudly, laughed, and fought with each other. When they bumped into him, he only quietly moved away.He couldn't explain himself, at first he felt that he was embarrassed, and gradually it became a kind of grievance, and later he became very withdrawn.As if he had committed a crime, he had done something wrong to others, and he couldn't hold his head up.It's a feeling I've never felt before.He heard Zhang Pin say a lot, as if every sentence was aimed at himself. For the first time, he discovered his own ugliness, but Zhang Pin could see this ugliness so clearly.Originally he was an honest man who never lied, but now he felt that he was dishonest, that he had lied to himself.He found that he had never said that he would not marry Heini was just a lie, and he was just reluctantly avoiding her for fear of being criticized.He alienated her only for the sake of deception, not for her uncle, the worst man in the village, the man everyone hated.He used to always have a clear conscience, thinking that he had never defended him, but in fact he had never opposed him!He forgave everything for his niece!He couldn't see the harm he had done to everyone in the past, and he forgot how he had been tortured and exploited in his family.He wants others to settle the score, to ask for the red deed, but he doesn't have the courage to settle the score himself!Didn't he plant his eight acres of dry land and two acres of water land!Zhang Pin said that he should not forget his origin, but he did not forget his origin!Where does he plan for the poor?He only thought for himself, lest he offend the niece of a landlord, the niece of a scoundrel.He used to look down on Zhang Zhengdian.For a wife, Zhang Zhengdian went to his father-in-law every day for some small advantages in life, separated from his brothers and comrades, and separated from the head of the household.But as for himself, he didn't marry someone else's daughter, and he didn't go to their house. He only kept her in his heart and quietly protected her, which meant protecting them and protecting the interests of the landlord class. Is the place better than Zhang Zhengdian?

His pace became slower and slower, these vague feelings churned in his mind one after another, and he fell behind everyone.The door of a house in the alley opened, and with a bang, a person came out, urinating in the dark, and then went in again, and slammed the door shut.Cheng Ren stared at the darkness helplessly, what should he do? It was not far to his home, where he lived in a large courtyard.The door was ajar, and he walked in lightly, the yard fell asleep, and he heard the snoring of the landlord in the upper room.The few chickens raised by the family on the opposite side also turned around uncomfortably in their small cages, squawking in a low voice.

From his room came some faint light.He forgot that his mother was no longer at home, and she went to his sister's house to accompany her sister who had just confinement.So he was not at all surprised by the light.He lazily stepped through the door. A small spark remained on the twig of the soybean oil lamp, and the opaque gray glimmer seemed more gloomy than the darkness.When he entered the room, a black shadow slowly moved out of the black corner by the kang.He ignored it, only felt that the shadow was far away from him.Occasionally, I thought that way—Isn’t Mom still asleep?But he still sat on the side of the kang on his own.

This black shadow was indeed a woman, she approached him, and before he lay down, he suddenly realized that his mother had not been at home for several days.But this woman was not like his mother. He unconsciously let out a sudden startled voice and asked sharply: "Who are you?" The woman also pressed his arm suddenly, and said repeatedly: "It's our It's your cousin." He retracted his hand, leaned his back against the wall, and stared straight at the ghostly figure. She quickly handed him a cloth bag, made a gentle, actually awkward voice, wanted to laugh but couldn't, and said in a low voice: "Here it is for you, Hei Ni gave it to you. Hei Ni also You have to come by yourself, she has something to tell you, she swears to be with you forever. Let's talk about Renzi! Don't be heartless..."

Instinctively, he wanted to wave his hand, to wave away this woman, this cloth bag, and these words.But he didn't do that, he couldn't lift his hands, guilt and shame weighed down on him.He wanted to scold her, but his tongue felt numb as if he had taken some strange medicine. The old woman went on to say: "Her uncle promised her everything. I will give you people and land. This is a total of eighteen acres. Even the vegetable garden is here. Renzi! We black Ni depends on you." A shiver ran through Cheng Ren's body, and he felt that there were many eyes on the ceiling, looking at him from the cracks in the wall, laughing at him.

Qian Wengui's wife moved her face closer, put her mouth next to his ear, and said clearly: "Her uncle said that I can't make things difficult for you. You are the director of the peasant association, so you can stop fighting, as long as you I understand in my heart, um, after all, we are a family!..." She laughed in a heron-like voice, which was so shameless and frightening. Cheng Ren couldn't stand it anymore.He shook himself, as if shaking a heavy load off his back.An ugly voice rushed out of the throat: "You go! You go out!" Shocked by his voice, the old woman took a step back, still wanting to say something, but couldn't speak for a while.

He threw the little cloth bag away, and the feeling of being humiliated increased his anger, and he shouted: "We look down on your stinky acres, you come to bribe us, no! Take it back, we have to settle the score That day!" The woman seemed to be rolling out following the thrown cloth bag, her two little feet seemed to be unable to step on the flat ground, and her body swayed wildly.It was hard to stand still, she held the door with one hand, took a breath, paused, and leaned forward again, she said tremblingly: "Our Heini..." "You are not allowed to say this name, we don't want to listen!" Cheng Ren jumped down abruptly, and stood in front of her viciously. She was afraid that he would hit her with his fist, so she turned her head down, but she didn't dare to shout out.

The dim light shone on her hideous face, with unkempt hair, wide-open frightened eyes, and a mouth twisted on one side, showing yellow teeth inside.Cheng Ren felt a sense of revenge, and he grinned grimly and said, "You don't want to leave, that old man of yours has already been arrested and locked up in Xu Youwu's backyard. Go home and cry. Get ready to prepare wood." The shadow shrunk and slowly left him, and she retreated to the yard.When he followed to the gate again, she suddenly looked forward to him again, then burst into tears and rushed out of the gate.The cries gradually disappeared in the darkness.

Cheng Ren suddenly seemed to wake up from a nightmare, and seemed to be standing on the plain of the four wilderness deserts.He shook his head and walked slowly into the yard, looked up at the cool autumn sky, where Xing'er blinked leisurely.There was no snoring in the upper room, only the buzzing of insects at the foot of the surrounding walls, while the chickens in the chicken coop opposite were flapping their wings and crowing loudly in the dark narrow cage. "Don't fall on the tail of the mass movement, don't fall behind the masses, don't forget where you came from." These words reverberated in Cheng Ren's mind again, but he was no longer worried about those who bound him invisibly. Annoyed by the rope, he also shook his shoulders and returned to the room easily.