Chapter 4 third chapter

one Since the mother had a child, she has tortured herself with the duties of being a mother. Although her husband's financial situation can hire a nanny, she has other reasons and is unwilling to hand over the child to a nanny. Since she broke up with the guest while the child was still in her womb, she had no news of that guest. The man seemed to live the rest of his life for a confession that men could do, so she, the most logical way to do it, was to forget the man as a thing to do. She is relying on the child and the child's father, and indeed she has gradually forgotten the past.She had been a mother for a year, and she had all the tenderness and affection that a mother needs.She loves children, with utter, uncompromising love.What she did always pleased the father and made the family atmosphere good, and she herself could find a new basis from various behaviors.

To regard what has been done as the source of troubles, and to draw troubles from this source from time to time, is something like that of a woman who is a little too wise.As for this mother, she is not the kind of person who doesn't know the meaning of being human, so even if she sometimes puts this. —Traces were found, but they were immediately covered up with something else. That is, the day after the child received a gift from his grandmother from far away, and his father stayed overnight from a friend, the father came home, had a holiday that day, did not work, and sat with his mother in the living room to amuse the child.The mother talked to the father about the child's future as if she had completely forgotten what happened the night before.

She did this precisely because her father liked to use children as the subject of his conversation. Mothers want their children to grow up to be soldiers.Her opinion was not clear to her father.She said: "Let him join the army, study in the military, and serve as a soldier. It's all good." My father was surprised to propose this way.He objected. "Why. My son was not raised for those warlords." "I was trying to find a way out for him." "The way out is to study. I want to do my best as a father so that he can receive a complete education and have the opportunity to be a nobler person."

"You just think knowledge is noble." "Why can't we talk like that?" "I've been feeling weird lately, thinking that if you don't become a soldier, you have to work, so you can understand more." "If you want him to 'understand' more, it doesn't necessarily mean that he has to work. Look at his air, he looks just like me. In the future, I'm afraid he will still be a father. He has a good wife and enjoys happiness!" She said painfully: "Enjoy happiness! Having a good wife, son, and complete family is what every man needs." After she finished speaking, she laughed, and her smile was mixed with elements of sarcasm and pity.She swallowed what she should have said, "But not everyone gets it."

The father was overjoyed to see his mother like this, and said, "Su, you are jealous of my happiness, you are such a childlike woman. Think about it, why shouldn't I feel complete in my life?Why am I not optimistic? " She thought "Exactly!" She just bit her lip. He paused for a moment, laughing dryly to himself.He saw a bit of her displeasure, estimated according to the rules, thought he guessed right, and said to himself: "They envy me, but you come to envy me, it's very interesting." She was silent.Seeing her silent appearance, he thought it made the mother sad, so he laughed even more until tears came to his eyes.This father is too loyal.

His fatness, and his stupidity that started from being fat, both made women feel an inexplicable pain. The young couple is like the weather in June, because of the heat, it changes a lot.The mother originally wanted to talk to him about the child, hoping to cover up the shadow in her heart.When it comes to the child, the father's words and attitude are close to pushing her to look back at what kind of road she has traveled.She did not want to suffer alone in her heart, and she could not share the pain with her husband, so she asked him how the night was, so that the father, too, would have an opportunity to remember his own lack of perfection.

"I was in pain last night," he said, without any pain at all. "It's because of your temper, I'm uncomfortable. I know you are thinking of your mother, who is old in the country. The lonely old man, I think it's too memorable. You have that kind of thinking, so you cry, hate me, I It's clear! I know you'll be fine in one day, don't you? You're a little too self-willed sometimes, but I know you, and I don't feel very sad. Our children have grown up, just think how happy that grandmother is." She said: "I cried for a long time last night, just thinking of my mother. Now I don't cry, well, I know that many things are useless to cry."

"Yes, I have known this for a long time. My colleagues often talk about this. I thought that love and trouble were just the emotions of smart people. In fact, no matter how smart a person is, he will understand that only laughter is important in life required." He who said this has never contradicted his words and deeds in his life.He has been like this in the past, he is like this now, and he will be like this in the future.But when he really knows her, I'm afraid he won't be able to do this.At this time, he was very moved by the truth he said, so he opened his eyes and asked the child with the attitude of a child: "Odd, little rascal, what do you think?"

Seeing his father pretending to be a cat for him, the child was so happy that he meowed at will. "Hey, you're papa's comrade. Look at the way you look. You know what I mean. Yes, we should laugh, dad laughs all day, mom laughs all the time, the baby grows up. "He turned to his mother," the child understood, the little thing was very clever, he must understand. " The woman said, "Yes, he must understand, and you must understand. One day..." Although he was a little surprised when he heard her words, he immediately turned to the child and said to the child: "Mom is because of you. On the contrary, they often get angry with me, which I don't understand!"

She admitted that she was the only one who had failed in her plan to talk to him, and she fell silent, trying to make the child laugh with pathetic-sounding nonsense. The father looked at the child and then the mother of the child. The weight of his happiness cannot be weighed by the scales. two This mother lived the life of many a guilty woman. She first wanted to save herself by speaking, thinking that this was the best method among various methods. In the end, it was because she gave back the convenience of touching the wound when she spoke, so she became a quiet and quiet person. However, in the eyes of this good husband, the difference between deliberate talk and natural silence has no other meaning at all.He often self-effacingly says that he doesn't understand women, but everywhere he has the self-confidence that "the mother of the child is only known to me", this harmless self-confidence puts this man in complete happiness, it is good. Like him, there is nothing else to do but to thank fate.

He said "I know your temper", in order to support this point, when she doesn't speak, he is not strong enough to talk to her.He teased the child next to her, talking nonsense like a child, and it seemed like he was just talking to himself, and when he was tired of talking, he yawned a few times and lay down on the sofa in the usual fat man style asleep. Seeing the sleeping posture of this good man, the mother thought of the insomnia last night, and remembered that she was still so self-willed, so she blamed herself in her heart. She thought that the dream he was having at this time must be a dream that felt as complete as everyday life.That's right, he often had some good dreams in such a presumptuous way.He often dreamed that he had five children. Originally, when he explained the number of boys and girls in front of her in the daytime, he thought she was talking about three boys and two girls, but in his dreams, there were four boys and one girl. He often dreamed of becoming the section chief of the company, getting a promotion with a salary increase, which should be allowed by the facts, so he told her this when he woke up, not lying or pretending. Even though the father continued to dream, the child soon fell asleep, and she was the only one who stayed awake by his side.She is always sober.Although she still has her dreams in order to entertain herself during the day, but these dreams are seldom for future visions, just the reenactment of the story. Then she dreamed a story.She was alone in this living room, and she was waiting for a piece of clothing bestowed on her by fate, looking a little anxious. Here comes a person, an indispensable role, a character whose heart beats at the mention of her name, she has used the hospitality for the past few months without her husband's permission, and made the guests sit on the sofa where her husband is now sleeping. They talk.It seems that she started like this: "How did you go back yesterday?" "..." He answered the question with a smile. She didn't get a satisfactory answer, and she was a little worried.She stood up and went to the wall to check the clock, which was the same wall clock that never stopped hanging down at any time of the day.She then looked at the branches of the vase. He praised the flowers.He said in front of her: "Today's flowers are better than yesterday's." She replied with double meanings that non-lover could not understand: "People today are the opposite of flowers." He laughed and thought to himself, "After all, women's intelligence is beyond the reach of men." Then he deliberately said: "I can't add and explain this, I'm so embarrassed." She doesn't believe it, doesn't admit it. "There is nothing that can embarrass you. A man who is stumbled by love will walk on his own path without pain after getting up, and you are also such a person." She thought in this way, trying to deal with this situation. A man who dodges in deceit. As for him, he seemed to be a man's man's man's man's man's man's man's man's man's man's man.The explanation of the words is that he is completely like a certain kind of person, who is pushed forward by ambiguous desires, and dragged back by the rope of reason.He is always calm and at the same time always confused.He gave up the rights of men, but he never forgot the benefits of women. He knows that in a certain situation the situation will become a thrilling situation, but he is afraid of this storm, so he does not make himself an indispensable character.He has the ambition to grab, but he doesn't reach out.He wants to rely on the friendship of that good husband to protect himself, but at the same time he is using this friendship to bring himself and her closer to the dangerous well. What they all know is that everyone bears a sinking responsibility, everyone is very depressed, and they all want to prolong the time from perfunctory, so that an unexpected event will help them separate from sin. She sees herself and others.She remembered what her good husband had said then, and she asked him.She said, "I heard that you swore a man to be your wife." He blushed, but he agreed without saying a word: "Yes, there is such a childish thing." "I don't think it's childish," she said, giving him a chance to continue. "It's over without being childish." "Is it over?" "It's over." "..." She didn't say it, she smiled at him.She shook his heart with her laughter, making him dizzy with the turbulence of the sea. She did this intentionally, and she did what a woman would do, and it was not her fault. After this smile, he was like a wounded beast, and he could only look around with pitiful eyes.He was already in a posture close to jumping down; there was still hope for rescue, so Zeng walked to the door and turned back. "I can't go, you see." He explained to her like this, and walked to her side with a smile that was not a smile. She glanced at it and hurriedly sat down on a round chair in the corner of the room. She was also a little flustered. He still walked towards her.In the end, I sat on the sofa, and in the end, I was completely confused. "Do you want to be more childish?" "Yes, you can't be childish." They just did something that was completely new to the genre. They were presumptuous for a while.They shook their heads and were speechless in the last moment of dejection. He should have waited for the other self to come back, and went away without waiting. how is sheShe already understood what she had to understand.She generously gave something that was justifiably stingy. She had the exhilaration of a miser after his first extravagance.She seemed to be resting on an act of bravery, and the faint echoes of applause could be heard.When she arrived, she thought of the other person who carried a big black leather bag and came back at four o'clock in the afternoon every day. She was sad and couldn't get rid of her strengths, so she cried desperately. ………… Her dream wakes up before the child and the child's father. She walked to the child's cradle, saw the child's peaceful sleeping face, dropped a tear of confession on the child's little hand, and quickly sucked the tear away with her mouth. She soberly guarded these two seemingly unfortunate father and son in her opinion. three one This ordinary woman is often caught in contradictory self-condemnation, and often suffers from small things that are not conducive to survival. She is also such a woman. She cries, she laughs, and she is surprised when she has dreams that seem absurd enough, but when she puts herself in that absurd situation, she is very moved and almost naively plays that role.There is nothing wrong with her, because all women in the world are like this.There was nothing particularly commendable about her, for she handled things no differently from other women. Many women are the subject of gossip in their environment, and this mother, in her environment, made her the central character of such a story. The next day, she was as silent as a Buddha.Just because she was silent, she gained peace. She didn't speak, so she no longer heard the father mentioning the child.She didn't speak, she just didn't let the father mention the child, but she didn't put the child down herself. She didn't expect that in the future, when the child grows up and knows a little about his mother, that is... She thought again, "Father will defend this unreliable news on his behalf," and laughed. Crying, laughing, heartbeat, red face, in countless repetitions, the child grows up day by day. This collection was made in the spring of 1928