Chapter 3 Jasmine slices (3)

He hadn't had a mother since he was four years old, but he knew her from her picture.There is only one photo of her before marriage, and she is wearing an ancient-style imitation satin jacket with dark flowers of little bats.Now, the portrait in front of the window is gradually becoming clearer, and he can see the bats on her satin coat in autumn-scented copies.She was there waiting for someone, a message.She knew that the news would not come.The sky in her heart gradually darkened. ... Chuanqing's body twitched in pain.He didn't know whether it was his mother or himself. As for the nameless, grievous depression, he understood now that it was love—a desperate love more than twenty years ago.After more than twenty years, the knife has rusted, but it is still a knife.A knife in his mother's heart twisted in his heart again.

After a lot of effort, Chuanqing raised his head.All illusions quickly disappeared.At that moment, he seemed to be an old-fashioned photographer, taking pictures of people in the black cloth, and caught a glimpse of his mother in the mirror of the camera.He withdrew his hand from under the lid of the case and shot his mouth up, sucking dazedly at the red marks on the back of his hand. He knew very little about his mother.He knew she had never loved his father.For that, his father hated her.When she died, she turned her anger on her children.Otherwise, even though his stepmother provoked him, his father would not be so cruel to him.His mother hadn't loved his father -- had she loved anyone else? ... There is such a legend in the circle of relatives.His stepmother married into Nie's family, and it was a close relationship, so there were rumors about his stepmother.Of course she didn't want people to forget about this incident, and she also talked about his mother in front of Chuanqing.Any words would not be pleasant to her mouth.Bi Luo's dowry maid, Liu Ma, just because she couldn't bear her slander of the deceased, often angrily defended herself to the other servants.So Chuanqing had the opportunity to hear some facts that he thought were reliable.

From a modern point of view, that fact is pitifully plain.Feng Biluo was eighteen years old when she got married. Before she got engaged, she had longed to go to school for a while.In a conservative family like Feng's, that was of course impossible.However, she still plans secretly with a few cousins.Because the cousins ​​are much younger and their parents are more indulgent, they finally got their wish.They decided to apply for Chinese and Western girls' schools, and invited a distant relative to make up lessons.Yan Ziye was younger than them in seniority, but older than them. He had studied in university for two years.On the one hand, Biluo is envious of the luck of the cousins, but on the other hand, she is still unwilling to give up her dream of entering the school, so she is still very concerned about everything they have applied for the exam.She met Yan Ziye several times at her cousin's place.They never spoke alone.

The Yan family pulled someone back and came out to say goodbye.Before Bi Luo's mother could answer, the old aunt left behind by her grandfather was sitting beside her soaking up water, she smiled and interjected: "It's too early to mention this matter now!" The matchmaker laughed and said: " The young lady is not young anymore──" The old aunt smiled and said: "It doesn't mean her age! Changshu Yanjia is a businessman. Marriage proposal, there is still room for negotiation. Now...it's too early!" Seeing that it was wrong, the matchmaker had no choice but to go back to Yan's house.Yan Ziye heard Feng's reply after tossing and turning, and was very angry, so he put the matter on hold.

Yet they seem to have met once more since then.That absolutely can't be a chance, because both parties have to avoid suspicion since they have mentioned marriage.The short meeting at the end was probably Bi Luo's initiative.Biluo hinted that Ziye would ask someone to talk to her parents again, because her parents did not express a firm refusal.But Ziye was young and energetic, and he didn't want to be denounced as "high climber" again and again, which caused his family to suffer more serious insults.He told Biluo that he planned to study abroad soon.She could take decisive action, and the two of them walked together.But Biluo couldn't do that.Chuanqing recalled this part and couldn't help hating his mother, but he also admitted that she had her own reasons.Twenty years ago was twenty years ago!She had to take care of her family reputation, she had to take care of Ziye's future.

Midnight went abroad alone.When he came back, the Feng family had already married Bi Luo to Nie Jiechen, and there were several romances before and after Midnight.As for how he married Danzhu's mother, a girl from southern China, and how he moved his family to Hong Kong in recent years, Chuanqing had never heard of it. Regarding Biluo's life after marriage, Chuanqing dare not speculate.She is not a bird in a cage.A bird in a cage will fly out when the cage is opened.She is the bird rusted on the screen—a white bird in a golden cloud on a screen of brooding purple satin.Years and months have passed, and the feathers have become dark, moldy, and worm-eaten, and they still die on the screen.

She's dead, she's finished, but what about Chuanqing?Why should Chuanqing suffer this crime?Biluo married into the Nie family, at least it was a sober sacrifice.Chuan Qing was born in Nie's family, but he has no right to choose.Another bird was added to the screen, and even if he was killed, he would not be able to fly off the screen.He has been with his father for twenty years, and he has been made into a mentally disabled person. Even if he is given freedom, he will not be able to run away. Can't run!Can't run!There is simply no hope of avoiding it at all, but it is also determined.But now, for the first time, he gathered all the sporadic rumors and conjectures together and pieced together a story, and he just knew: more than twenty years ago, before he was born, he had the hope of escaping.His mother has the possibility to marry Yan Ziye, almost, he is Yan Ziye's child, Yan Danzhu's brother, maybe he is Yan Danzhu.With him, without her.

The next day, at school, Chuanqing was in a state of turmoil when he took a class on the history of Chinese literature. She leaned to the left, out of the sight of the professor, and chose a seat, probably for fear of attracting her father's attention and distracting him, so she turned her head and smiled slightly at Chuanqing.There was still an empty seat beside her, so a male student next to Chuanqing pushed Chuanqing, encouraging him to sit beside her.Chuanqing shook his head.The man said with a smile: "There is a fool like you, are you afraid of ruining your luck or something? If you don't go, I will go!" After finishing speaking, just standing up, several other students rushed forward , one of them got there first and took the seat.

Although it was still late spring at that time, it was already hot, so Danzhu added a long-sleeved white gauze coat over the cheongsam.She turned sideways, chatting and laughing with the people next to her, resting her chin in one hand.Her lively red-gold face and arms, covered by a light veil, are like amber wine glistening in a glass.However, in Chuanqing's eyes, she did not just arouse a simple sense of beauty.He thought there: She doesn't look like Yan Ziye.Then, she must be like her mother, the southern country girl that Yan Ziye married.Yan Ziye was pale and a little thin.Most men's beauty is not more obvious until they are thirty years old, Yan Ziye is an example.Counting, he should be over forty-five years old, right?But it looks much younger.

Yan Ziye came in and walked up to the podium.Chuanqing felt as if he had never seen him before.This is the first time for Chuanqing to feel a special and depressed beauty of Chinese robes.Chuanqing himself wears gowns for financial reasons, but like ordinary young people, he likes suits.However, the wide gray silk robe and the loose folds on Yan Ziye's body made his figure even more prominent.Chuanqing couldn't help fantasizing: If he was Yan Ziye's child, would he look like Yan Ziye?In all likelihood, they are similar, because he is a boy, different from Danzhu. Yan Ziye opened the name book: "Li Mingguang, Dong Dequan, Wang Lifen, Wang Zongwei, Wang Xiaoyi, Nie Chuanqing..." Chuanqing agreed, but he suspected that his voice was strange, so he blushed.However, Yan Ziye continued to call: "Qin Defen, Zhang Shixian..." With one hand propped on the table, the other hand is leisurely holding the roll call—a person who has gone through hardships in the world, but there is no lack of some small joys in life people.