Chapter 4 Chapter 3 Virgin

Today, there are still three days before the exam, and the key points of the set are basically memorized. The girls are still in a daze in the study room upstairs, flipping through the books with one hand, and cleaning the dead skin on their lips with the other. Chew in your mouth.The boys gathered in the dormitory and started talking nonsense. "I heard that the physical test is the most difficult. In the past, a black cloth bag was used to test the bones. Mr. Bai stretched out one hand and asked you to stretch out the other hand. Mr. Bai's hand took your hand and touched a protrusion, and asked you, What part of the bone is this?" Hopu said.

Hopu had just finished taking a shower, and Qiu was rubbing mud and nailing his toenails on the bed. "Hey, have you noticed that before you take a bath, the mud you rub out is black; after you take a bath, the mud you rub out is gray. If you wash hard and use soap several times, the mud you rub out can turn white. The part-time job of the janitor in the men's bathroom of 'Baoquantang' takes a shower, ten yuan a person, and the mud is one inch long, with a fat bulge in the middle of both ends. Strange, you found that no toenails grow slower than fingernails. Test you A subject of human anatomy. Does anyone know where the smelliest mud is on a human body?"

Hopu is full of curiosity about the human body and will be a good doctor in the future.He could stay in the dissecting room all night, holding his dissected arm in the posture of gnawing on a pig's knuckle, looking at it non-stop, and saying, "It turned out to be like this, it turned out to be like this." Everyone agreed. He is a virgin, and there is no one more virgin than Hopu.Everyone thinks that Hopu will also look very carefully on the wedding night, seeing the bride from dry to wet and then from wet to dry. He muttered: "It turned out to be like this, it turned out to be like this, the front looks like a nun, and the back looks like my apprentice."

No one answered Hopu.He had one leg dangling over the bed frame and the other on a stool.The thin layer on the surface of the stool was his leg mud and toenails half a centimeter wide.When Hopu dropped the mud on his legs and toenails to the ground, he looked as sad as Daiyu was burying flowers, and almost asked us again if anyone wanted it.He firmly believes that all fresh and tender things are beautiful and wonderful: roast suckling pig, Dong'an chicken, and poop.Chinese toon buds can scramble eggs, but Chinese toon leaves can only be fed to pigs.He is always proud that he is a virgin and has magical powers.Things that come out of him like leg mud and toenails are the same as children's poop, and they have functions, such as curing insomnia, migraine, nocturnal emission, impotence, premature ejaculation, and so on.

But how should a virgin be defined?Is it considered a virgin after a wet dream?Is it a virgin after masturbation?Is it considered a virgin after being sodomized?Is it considered a virgin after being fucked by a homosexual?Is it considered a virgin after oral sex?Even if it is artificially defined that as long as you don't have normal intercourse with the opposite sex and ejaculate, you are considered a virgin, can the cells in the human body be distinguished?Are the secreted things still effective?We have discussed it carefully, but have not reached a consensus.One thing is for sure, Hopu must have had a dream. We have all heard him screaming in Beijing opera coloratura one night: "It's cool!" , Thieves carrying a washbasin to the water room to wash their underpants, like the old landlord who got up at night to poke the chicken coop in "Midnight Chicken Crowing", thinking that we are all asleep and don't know anything.

"Be more enthusiastic and think about it carefully. Mr. Bai will pass the exam. No? Let me tell you, you moose. The mud hidden between the big toenails is the most smelly." Hopu put his thumb that had just rubbed his feet under his nose and smelled it. After hearing about it, I felt that no one paid attention to him, and it was shameless. "Have you compared with your smegma? Is the comparison method objective?" Xin Yi asked. "I am a holy man, born uncircumcised, like Muhammad, not circumcised." "It's boring." Huang Qi sighed, his girlfriend Juan'er hadn't visited him for ten days in order not to disturb his homework.

Huang Qi loves his girlfriend, and his girlfriend asked him to collect his love and give it to her after the exam.He tried his best but failed to make his girlfriend understand that there are some things that cannot be stored away. It seems that there is no ejaculation from the age of four to thirty-nine, and only three to five milliliters can be ejaculated when he loses his virginity at the age of forty. It's not like a high-pressure faucet spouting five liters at once, pushing his young wife from the bed to the entrance of the alley. Huang Qi's girlfriend Juan is from the Broadcasting Academy.Half a year ago, the five of us had dinner in the cafeteria of the Second Foreign Studies University, and went to the Broadcasting Institute next door to hang out.The Broadcasting Institute is one of the "Four Big Dyeing Pots" universities in Beijing (the other three are the Second Foreign Language School, the University of Technology and the Language Institute), and the girls are very famous.The five of us huddled together on a bench beside the boulevard, drinking a red strawberry flavored soda called "Snow Dragon" and looking at the girls passing by.

We calculated that we should develop courage. Like in the past, Xin Yi took out the dice that he carried with him, and we rolled, whoever had the smallest number of points would strike up a conversation with the first girl who came over.Astragalus has the smallest number of points.During the Spring Festival, I went to the Baiyun Temple Fair, and Huangqi asked for a lottery to say that he will deliver peach blossoms this year. True spirit, this year's throwing points are the lowest in Astragalus.In the spring, we went to Lingfeng for a spring outing, and others climbed the mountain. We played cards at the gate of the campsite, "three deductions and one", and Huangqi lost again, and we were forced to rob people in the street.A 40-year-old black-faced aunt came over. Huang Qi lowered her head and walked over, muttering like a mosquito: "I love you." Don't run away, I'll go home and tell my big black dog to love you."

Huang Qi wore big black-rimmed glasses and was thinner than me. Fortunately, he was in class so that I wouldn't be so thin that I would be ridiculed by all the girls.In fact, he often wears baggy clothes and has a refined manner in his gestures. If he doesn't smile, he really doesn't look like a bad person.After he tossed three on the bench beside the boulevard at the Broadcasting Institute, his current girlfriend walked up to him.As Huang Qi walked over, the sun was setting and the sky was half-coloured and half-grey, and the wind was strong enough to blow his baggy clothes, making him look very loose.He stopped the girl: "Student, I'm sorry, what time is it at 6:30?"

At that time, we couldn't help laughing.His current girlfriend didn't smile: "It's really half past six." Juan'er definitely belongs to the type with big breasts and no brains. It really seems like there are two little white rabbits in her arms. When they jump, other people's hearts also jump, but she doesn't know if other people's hearts are jumping and why.Huang Qi loves her, I haven't seen her for ten days, she is very irritable, but I can't explain the reason to her.I suggested that he might as well provoke her, saying that if Huang Qi got along with her for half a year, Huang Qi's test scores would go up instead of dropping, which would be very embarrassing for her.Huang Qi said it was useless, she couldn't understand it.Xin Yi asked Huang Qi to tell her directly that the exam period was the most depressing, and if she didn't have a girlfriend, she had to find a replacement.

"Yesterday I had a erotic dream. My girlfriend gently touched my face with her little hand. I was in happiness, and suddenly found a problem. The hand that touched me had six fingers! I slapped my face back , I woke up and found that I had slapped a cockroach to death in the face." Hopu said.After cutting his toenails, he took out a small mirror from the drawer, tore off a piece of toilet paper, spread it on the table, and began to squeeze the bag on his face.After each squeeze, spread the squeezed grease neatly onto the toilet paper.Hopu's face is an oil field.He said that packing is also a technique. It is necessary to judge which bags are ripe, which ones are not, and how mature they are, and the unripe ones will be ripe in a few days.You need to pay attention to the squeezing technique. If you pinch too much, you won’t be able to squeeze it out. If you pinch too little, it will be squeezed into the skin instead. Where the mirror can’t see it, you have to rely on the feeling of your hands.If you are confident in your heart, you must make a quick decision and don't be afraid of pain.When the oil gushes out of the bag, Hopu said that he can always feel the thrill of Daqing workers pumping out the oil.I said that if he was so interested in his bag and its secretions, he could collect it in a bottle, and if he was afraid of being decomposed by light, I could give him a brown bottle or wrap it in black paper.If you save a certain amount, you can wipe your face, cook vegetables, or make Indian oil.Hopu said I was disgusting. "Hopu, two cockroaches crawled out of your rice bowl. How many days have you not washed the rice bowl?" Hopu glanced at his rice bowl, and shouted: "Who put this dead head in my rice bowl again? You are shameless, ruthless, don't feel disgusting, I'm going to scold you!" His rice bowl Here is a complete skull, the parietal bone is painted red, the temporal bone is blue, and the upper occipital bone is yellow, all colors are gorgeous.Teacher Bai stipulated that bones and the like were not allowed to be brought back to the dormitory, but the skull was too complicated. Hopu felt that he could not fully understand it just by looking at it in the dissecting room, so he brought it back from the dissecting room to play after class. Many people felt disgusted. "I have a small intestinal hernia." Xin Yi said, stroking his lower abdomen with one hand. "It's going to be an operation." "How do you know it's not scrotal edema?" "Scrotum light transmission test is needed for identification. There will be complications in the operation, including impotence." Hopu aspires to be a doctor, and he has previewed a lot of things. "Is it like checking whether an egg is good or bad with a light bulb in a non-staple food store, to see if there are testicles in Xin Yi's scrotum?" "Double yellow?" "Single yellow?" "bet!" "Brothers, do it! Take off his pants!" Xin Yi rushed out with a strange cry, cleared his throat, and began to sing in the corridor. Xin Yi has a good voice, he can sing like a bel canto and like a national singing.He likes to sing in the corridors, he is moved by his own echoes.Xin Yi sang in the corridor for a long time, and other dormitories would throw broken mouthwash jars and the like into the corridor, jingling, and he never thought it had anything to do with him.He decided that if he hadn't grown up in an alley and lived in a building, especially a tube building with a big road, he would definitely be a singer. "When I have money in the future, I must buy a corridor, even if I don't buy a building." Xin Yi said. Xin Yi's father worked as a section chief in a Japanese factory.Xin Yi fell in love with a female worker named Xiufen in his father's workshop.When he told this story, his expression was dignified, and he felt as great as Engels who married a female textile worker.His father persuaded him many times, and finally threatened him to transfer Xiufen away. Xin Yi became anxious, and shouted at his father: "Xiufen is not my mother, nor is it your girlfriend, nor am I incest, nor is it seizing love, are you tired?" Are you tired?" His father became furious and chased Xin Yi two miles away with a long watermelon knife. Xin Yi recalled that his father was very much like Captain Kameda that day. Xin Yi has a young skill, he can kick the back of his neck with his legs. He used to sing Peking Opera, but now he only sings love songs.He begged me to copy some love songs from it for him. "Songs are too shallow now." I told him that most of the lyrics are four-character sentences, which are not easy to sing.He used particle words to make up where the sound was not enough, and he was able to sing with an airs and face. He escaped from the dormitory, cleared his throat, and sang his favorite passage: "There is a woman pregnant-Ya Chun-um-um-um, Jishi-ya-lure-zhi." The echo rumbled in the corridor. I took a look at the dormitory of more than ten square meters, a room full of clothes that hadn’t been washed for half a month, six or seven rice bowls that hadn’t been cleaned for a week, and five or six roommates who talked nonsense.Hopu took out a piece of toilet paper and spread it on the table. He was going to clean his ears. This was his last project after taking a shower.His ears are sugar ears, and the earwax is bright orange and yellow, which is different from others.Hopu said that one day he will know whether it is sweet or salty. This place is unbearable and I decided to leave.