Chapter 48 Section 6

He Jing has been in the U.S. for six years. Within five years, she completed her master's and doctoral studies, graduated from the Department of Biology, and then applied to a California biopharmaceutical company as a researcher with an annual salary of 70,000 yuan and a green card. He Jing was adopted by Lao He and his wife when he was 12 years old. He still doesn't know who his biological parents are, nor does Lao He and his wife.From family planning, girls have fallen from being unpopular to being even more unpopular. In order to have a son, many families must first "solve" the girl of the first and second child.He Jing always thought that she was a "surplus" daughter from a rural or urban family, but she was lucky to meet He Zhongtian and Yu Huaming, who bravely gave her two children. A sheltered and warm home, and as the "eldest daughter", she did not suffer any discrimination.

The old Mr. and Mrs. He respected knowledge very much and couldn't bear the fact that their family was still illiterate at the end of the 20th century. Fortunately, He Jing started the belated first step of formal education in a primary school in the capital of China, and it was out of control.Different from the pampered children of the He family, He Jing knows that everything is hard won, and God favors her to have the opportunity to change the unfortunate fate of being abandoned. With real skills, she went to a good university in China - the National People's Congress, and got excellent grades. He went to Dartmouth College, one of the Ivy League universities in the United States, and then went to Berkeley, California to study for a Ph.D.You can say that it is an intellectual advantage, or you can say that you will gain as much as you work. He Jing is one of those Chinese who have been living in the middle class with high education and prestigious schools on the other side of the ocean.

Now the eldest daughter of the He family is sitting with her husband in a bright and spacious house to entertain her younger sister and brother-in-law.My husband is from Shanghai, with a Ph.D. in Meteorology. He is elegant and handsome, and he serves everyone at the table attentively and thoughtfully, naturally and kindly. "Sister, your house is really beautiful. It is different from domestic houses, which are often luxurious and not modern. Your house is simple, with a reasonable layout, elegant and generous overall." He Lin is a designer, and she looks at problems from the perspective of design. "Is the upstairs empty? Isn't it reserved for future in-laws?"

He Jing smiled and looked at her husband.Brother-in-law David Zhong said empathetically: "The upstairs is a study room, and a children's room may be opened in the future. Before the children come, parents on both sides are welcome to live here for a while. Given the potential of natural enemies of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, my parents said they prefer Shanghai. But I prefer I hope that the parents-in-law will come in the future, and with the supervision of the parents, your sister will not dare to bully good people blatantly..." Zhong Dawei is very humorous.He Lin turned to look at her husband, "Why don't you think mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are natural enemies?"

Chuanzhi turned his head quickly, "You are all natural enemies, I can't be an angel, can I?" He Jing smiled, "Really, if David's mother takes care of her son in this house and tells her son what to do, I might go crazy too. I will take care of my man, and I will make overall arrangements for my family. One mountain cannot accommodate two." Tiger." David nodded and added: "One mountain cannot accommodate two tigers of the same gender, one male and one female will do." "In the past year, there were often two female tigers fighting on the top of my house, but the male tiger didn't care about anything." He Lin looked at Chuanzhi pointedly, "One day it finally took care of it, and the other one Tigress, fix my young tiger."

He Jing David looked at Chuanzhi pretending to be surprised.Chuanzhi blushed, "Aren't we the only ones left on the mountain now?" "You'd rather have that tigress with you, but it's too old." In the bedroom after dinner, Chuanzhi complained: "Aren't you coming out to play now? Is it okay if you don't mention the past? The three of you together run on me." He Lin refused to let him, "If you want to walk upright and upright, are you still afraid of shadows and people talking about it? Why are you guilty?" Chuanzhi begged: "Baby wife, don't let us be ashamed and thrown in America?"

"Everyone on Earth knows your stupidity!" Chuanzhi held his breath, and he sighed after a long time, "It's not a solution for us to quarrel like this. Let's talk about it, how can we clear the grievances to zero, stop bringing up old debts, and live without burdens? Now I am very careful in what I say and do. If you don't pay attention, you will catch the blame." He Lin also sighed, "Grudges are accumulated bit by bit. A writer once said that feelings are like a bankbook. From the day the bankbook is opened, think about it. Have you ever saved money in it? You just You will be able to withdraw and overdraft, and now you are anxious if you can’t get the money out! Now you have to find a way to clear the debt to zero, and when the last straw crushes the camel to death, will it work if you want to take down that straw?”

Chuanzhi stammered, "You, what do you think I should do? I'm so stupid that I can't remember it. If you remind me kindly, it can be counted as building a third-level pagoda." "There is an example around me. You are not blind and can't paint a gourd like a gourd!" Uh, Chuanzhi understands, the guy named David just now is too good at business, sweet-talking and hard-working, one compares him to the basement. "You two Shanghainese men..." "Aren't you convinced?" "Submit! Submit! There is a gourd painting scoop, I can't learn everything!"

The next day, He Jing and his wife went to work.He Lin and Chuanzhi had nothing to do after breakfast and strolled outside. No wonder the United States is sparsely populated and rich in resources. The small streets were empty, and they didn't even see a person after walking for a long time.But the surrounding environment is very beautiful. In front of the sparse European-style House, there is a neat dry lawn, and tall trees line up to the skyline in the cool breeze. Chuanzhi exclaimed, "This is the countryside!" "This village is not the other village of yours." "The countryside here is pretty good, even better than the cities over there." Then he sighed, "When will there be no huge gap between urban and rural areas in China? If there is no gap, there will not be so many contradictions."

He Lin rolled her eyes at him and couldn't hide her contempt, "I just expect you mud-legged officials to be in politics, and the differences in China will not disappear even in the year of the monkey. The barnyard knows etiquette, and it takes only three generations to produce a nobleman, you know?" In the evening, He Jing talked to He Lin alone, "You two have been arguing and arguing, can you make up? Are you waiting for the conflict to intensify at any time?" He Lin was extremely depressed, she didn't know why she was so mean, she wanted to forgive him in her heart, but she couldn't speak and act, but she summed it up in one sentence: "Maybe the grievances are too deep, every sentence can correspond to the past, there is no way A write-off."

"There is no solution?" He Lin was silent. "You asked him to follow, I thought you had settled your suspicions." "I thought so too." "Then what should I do? Dad, Mom, and my aunt are very worried about you. They asked me to enlighten you. What can I say? There is a piece of advice: take off the shoes that don't fit, it's no big deal, don't waste your life on a pair of shoes that don't fit Bar." He Lin burst into tears, "I just want him to promise: I won't let his mother disturb my life in the future!" "Speak to him!" "So many things have happened, why didn't he reflect on it and take the initiative to promise me?" "You can fight for your own happiness and happy life by yourself. How can you rely on others? Tell him clearly what you think. If he can't do it, you have a reason to make a decision. It's better than being bored in your own heart!" He Lin wiped away her tears and turned around, "Sister, am I a failure?" "Not at all, choose for yourself, you have become a mature and good girl. Remember, happiness and misfortune, happiness and unhappiness, you can choose, don't have any psychological burden, you live for yourself, not for other people." For some reason, He Lin didn't go to Chuanzhi to show her cards right away. Maybe she felt that the other party was still in the stage of making mistakes, and she should ask her to take the initiative to confess to show sincerity.But Chuanzhi felt that everything was in the past. It was He Lin who was too girlish, holding on to the past and getting nervous at every turn.Maybe men and women are inherently different, the only thing he can do is tolerance. Seeing that the two of them were still frozen inside the outer pine, He Jing talked to Chuanzhi again. "It's not a solution for you to always wait for each other's gaps to hurt others. No matter how good your relationship is, it will be worn out." "Well, I can't figure out what she's thinking. It was my fault before, and I was taught a lesson. Now I've tried everything." "The crux of your problem is your mother. She probably suffers from mother-in-law phobia. Why don't you say that your mother will no longer interfere in your life so that she can feel at ease?" Chuanzhi was stunned for a moment, "No intervention—what do you mean?" He Jing glanced at him, thinking what is this kid pretending to be? "Not to intervene means that your mother will be less involved in your life in the future. You and He Lin will form a new family. The owners of this family are only you and her, and the future babyY..." "participate?" "Yes, to participate is to put your mother in your new family and compete with He Lin for the territory." "Seize the land?" He Jing became angry, "It means your mother and He Lin are two women, you have to choose one to live with, of course you have the right to choose your mother, ok? But now you have chosen two and put them together This is the crux of all the unsatisfactory life in front of you, don't you understand?" Chuanzhi sat down dejectedly, "Sister, you have lived in the United States for too long. Life here is relatively rich and the social welfare is good. You don't understand the current situation of rural life in China. Some old people, if they don't rely on their children, can only die... " "Okay, she can rely on you, but can she live separately? Don't live together, so that the two who have the potential to fight when they meet each other don't meet?" "Sister, there are two things. I don't know if you have considered them. First, there are 90% of families in China. The elderly live with their sons and daughter-in-law. It has been like this since ancient times. Are they just doing well? Second, Chinese parents care for their children. They all died after dying, and they didn’t leave a way out for themselves, and the son got a little bit of success thanks to the sacrifice of his parents, so he kicked his parents away, can you really like such a son?” He Jing understood, "One, what you mean is that 90% of Chinese families can live like this, but you can't. It's because you have problems with He Lin, especially He Lin, rather than this kind of problem. There is a problem with the family model, right? Second, bringing your mother and wife to live together just shows that you have a conscience and conform to traditional moral habits, right?" Chuanzhi sighed: "Sister, to be honest, what can you do if you are in my position? David's parents have medical insurance and pensions in Shanghai. The key is that they can live without you! I can watch Do you want to let your own mother suffer and die in your hometown? You don’t understand the status quo of the lower class in China, but you will know it when you look at it. There are more than one billion farmers and more than one billion people!” He Jing remained silent, but actually wanted to say to her sister: A man's thoughts and lifestyle may never be changed, but your path and life can be chosen again. He Lin completely regretted that she forgave Chuanzhi so quickly, thinking that he would wake up after hearing his confession, and it turned out that it was to let her understand his situation.Especially with the comparison of David, a housewife with a high degree of education, high income, gentle and considerate personality, and a new good man, the sense of grievance is even greater, and people tend to become irritable and neurotic when they are unbalanced. , I don’t want to continue the most basic form of couples sleeping together on the bed at night. I hug the quilt and go to the living room to sleep on the sofa.Chuanzhi is firstly reluctant to let his wife sleep on the sofa, and secondly, he dare not let his sister sleep on the sofa in his sister's house, and consciously grabs the sofa every time.The snatching and grabbing gave He Jing a feeling: the young couple won't give in to each other, it won't be too long. She asked He Lin: "If you separate, what will happen to your house?" It means that the house itself belongs to your parents. If they leave, won't they let them take half of the property?So take it easy. He Lin became nervous, and said easily: "If you get divorced, you will sell the house, and I will go here to study for a master's degree with a few million dollars!" "But the house also has a legal record!" "What half of him is mine!" "Can you be bigger than the law?" He Lin burst into tears suddenly. Seeing that her young sister was irritable and violent, and increasingly unable to control her emotions, He Jing called her parents worriedly, "He Lin is not in good spirits, she probably suffers from mild depression." The old Mr. He and his wife were also very sad. "After just one year of marriage, they fought and fought a lot. I was afraid that she would get sick at home, so I asked her to go to your place to relax. He Jing, please persuade your sister, enlighten her, She has been narrow-minded since she was a child, she loves to be stubborn, she can't let it go, she is competitive, and she can't think about anything..." In the evening, He Lin received an e-mail from her aunt. At first glance, it was specially edited by legal professionals. The language was very formal, logical, and black and white. Property that parents give to their daughter as a wedding gift. He Linzheng was so hot-headed that he immediately printed it out, patted it in front of Chuanzhi, and yelled for him to sign it. "This is the property of our He family. If you eat it, you have to spit it out in good conscience!" Chuanzhi said: "If I don't sign it, I won't get a divorce!" "If you don't want a divorce, you have to sign it!" "If you sign it, you won't be far away. If you don't sign it, give me a chance and I will correct it. Don't worry, I won't want your house when the day comes. This is what I say in my heart." Not getting what she wanted, He Lin burst into tears, cursed her husband, and broke her sister's toilet.Chuanzhi had no choice but to run out, wandering around in a strange city by himself, not knowing where he went all night, anyway, he came back disheveled and tired the next day. Seeing that the situation was serious, He Jing took her sister to see a psychiatrist.He Lin's CET-4 English was returned to the teacher a long time ago, and she just stared blankly at a pot of green plants on the table, listening to her elder sister and the silver-haired woman in her forties. The psychiatrist blah blah speaks English. He Jing has said everything on her behalf, and she is not interested in talking now. Let's put it this way, the general idea of ​​the psychiatrist is: the client must first adjust his mentality, and gave several suggestions: 1. Improve the client's interpersonal relationship. From a good point of view, improving your interpersonal relationship can help you from Get mental support when recovering from depression; two, increase the number of pleasurable activities per week; and three, don't rely on medication.Drugs are only an auxiliary treatment. You cannot rely on drugs for any disease, but mainly rely on slow recovery.This recovery time may be longer, or it may be faster, but don't worry. In order to make He Lin happy and relieve her depressed mood, He Jing asked for leave and took her sister for a drive around, visiting Berkeley University and some interesting scenic spots and parks in California, and also went to Hollywood and Beverly Hills where there are many movie stars. .Chuanzhi also understood what depression was all about, so he simply didn't raise any objections, and she did whatever she wanted, as long as she was happy. In Disneyland, being chased by the naughty Mickey Mouse, He Lin was as happy as a child; she yelled on the roaring roller coaster, and complained that eating hot dogs was not as good as rice, and she was no different from a normal person.If this is normal for a long time, the depression will gradually disappear.The only abnormal thing is that she doesn't want to go home, she just wants to play like a child, especially the staring eyes of chasing other people's baby in the stroller, which is very worrying. Once at the gate of Wal-Mart, many families drove to go shopping on a big weekend. Young couples, families of three or four, adults with children, or elderly people, there were few mix-and-match ones, and the old dragged their children along. The old, the young with the young.He Lin quickly realized this, stared blankly for a while, pointed it out to Chuanzhi, and said pitifully: "No one lives with her mother-in-law. You see, old people go in and out with their own things, and go in and out by themselves." Driving home, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will definitely not fight." Chuanzhi said: "Yes, the human touch here is a little less human, and China values ​​ethics." As soon as he arrived at the entrance of the supermarket, David struck up a conversation with an old man, who seemed to know him.The kind old man looked at Chuanzhi and He Lin. For some reason, he seemed to want to praise Chinese culture. Before communicating, it is human nature to praise each other. In order to be able to live with their own children and enjoy family relationships, it is not easy to feel lonely.Unlike the United States, where a paradise for children and a battlefield for middle-aged people becomes a cemetery for old age.Americans are a bit pitiful when they are old, and they seem to be forgotten. He Lin's English level 4 came to her senses, and with her sister's translation, she blurted out: "I would rather die old in a lonely cemetery, as long as no one bothers me when I am young!"