Chapter 14 Chapter Twelve

The editor-in-chief Elaine has the charm of an intellectual woman.I sent her a typescript and she gave me an hour to talk.Elaine hinted that only top writers can work for her as a first-level editor, so I rushed to hang out outside the building in advance, and knocked on the door when the appointment time was up. From the beginning, I maintained the double humility of a foreigner and a literary youth. Yi Lian took out my manuscript and said bluntly: "You have potential, you have a good sense of language, you have texture, tension, down-to-earth, and playful. You are a bit clever, but there are many problems, not refined enough, not pure enough, not generous enough. , but also the foot binding of the stinky woman..."

I nodded and bowed my head: "I just came to see a doctor today - and I'm going to a specialist clinic." She laughed and said, "You have to register to see a doctor, and specialist outpatient clinics are more expensive. I'm still free." "Deeply honored." Elaine asked me to sit next to her, pointed to the first chapter of the manuscript, and explained it to me sentence by sentence, analyzing word by word, even the use of punctuation marks, giving examples and demonstrations.Some are very convincing, others make me cringe, and have very different tastes from other editors.She said: "Although I don't quite agree with the saying that the ancients' literature conveys the truth, it is too serious, but it can't be too low-key and casual."

I rashly argued: "I don't care about style when I write something. Did you start with patriotism when you fell in love back then? Oh, those were the years of burning passion." "Don't play tricks on me." Elaine said, "This is what Wang Er meant. Do you want to be recognized after death?" I hurriedly smoothed things over: "Aileen said, it must be early to become famous." "Yes." Elaine continued, "Since you quoted Wang Er's words, I will also quote him: good words should have crystal-like brilliance, as if they come from stars. What do you mean? Ignite yourself and illuminate others."

I think she misunderstood what Wang Er meant, so I had to turn around and say: "Second Lord, I admire him very much, and I appreciate what the ruffian said. To play literature, you must be willing to give up yourself. Don't treat yourself as a human being. Keep your attitude low." For ordinary people. To put it into my dialect, it is: Engage in literature, don’t be deceived by literature.” Elaine laughed: "You look honest, why are you so obscene?" I was anxious: "You misunderstood, vulgarity is vulgar and elegant, and vulgarity is despicable character. People can be vulgar, but they must not be vulgar."

She tapped the pen on the manuscript paper: "Are you teaching me or am I teaching you?" I look like a primary school student who has violated the rules, facing the head teacher, and I'm helpless.It took Elaine two full hours to analyze the first few pages.She stopped and said: "I only read the first few chapters of your manuscript. It has great grades and many problems. You, take the manuscript back and revise it ten times from beginning to end according to my method." "Then it has to be changed to the year of the monkey and the month of the horse? I have changed my numbness. This is the punishment of Ling Chi." I screamed.Elaine was a little displeased: "The young man is right to be confident, but you will hit a wall when you come to me. If you want to get out with me, you have to listen to me, so many great writers have to listen to me, you are a fledgling Boss-"

I hurriedly said: "I know your kindness, strict teachers produce excellent apprentices, it's just—" She interrupted me: "I haven't said I'm taking you as an apprentice. It's just—just what?" "I don't want to procrastinate any longer. This book has been conceived for six years, and it has been two years since it was printed." "I still have to sharpen my sword for ten years, so I can't stand it." She smiled, and changed the topic, "Are you in financial difficulties, I can support you, how about supporting you with a thousand dollars first? I have supported many What about the literary youth?"

"You are really the mentor of the literary youth—you should be called the Holy Mother." I quickly thanked you and politely declined, "My mother taught me since I was a child to be patient in borrowing money and be ruthless in repaying money. I can still bear it." Elaine: "Then you can change it as I said. I thought about it and packaged you as a 'beautiful writer'." I was taken aback: "Aren't you kidding me, don't 'beautiful writers' stink on the streets? Besides, I am a beautiful man with crooked arms and legs. Don't ask the party, the government, and the readers to agree,—— Can the urban management and the Little Foot Detective Team let me go?"

Yi Lian laughed loudly: "The party and the government don't care about you, and the city management can only care about messing around. Readers, it depends on how we guide you. Your embryo is still good, you have plasticity, a little plastic surgery—" I said embarrassingly: "I'm not belittling myself, I just think it's funny to compare my appearance with a bunch of writers. Most of the writers look like cut corners and teary-eyed ghosts, isn't this a poor reference? I've never heard anyone compare myself and Wu Dalang for being handsome , and then complacently."

She was a little displeased: "Of course writers are compared with writers, you can't compare chickens with ducks, right? You don't like it? Many people think about this title. There are tens of thousands of would-be writers living in basements alone in Beijing." "What you said makes sense. Birds of a feather flock together, and people are divided into groups." I hastened to save myself, but I was also full of worries, "Is this hype appropriate for such a high-sounding publishing house?" Elaine said seriously: "Beauty, handsome man, plus strong man, why are you not serious? The key is whether it is healthy beauty. How do you tell the difference between pornography and art in body painting..."

Looking at the serious look of the "Mother of Literature", a sense of sacred martyrdom arises spontaneously.I am like a low-ranking officer of the national army who is about to be sent to the front line to serve as cannon fodder. I am loyal to Chairman Jiang: "Thank you for the cultivation, and I am deeply honored to dedicate myself to literature!" I ran all the way back to "home" and changed it seriously for a few days according to the method Elaine said, but I couldn't stand it any longer.According to her request, even if I work ten hours a day, it will take at least a year and a half to complete the revision.

The entrance to the second basement floor reads B2, reading it backwards makes you feel the double pressure, but listening to it along the way is awesome, just like a strategic location or a US strategic bomber.At this moment, in room B2-15, the voice of a third-rate singer came from Qi Shunzi's broken computer connected to a broken speaker, which was extremely low and penetrating in this air-raid shelter.Bare-chested and wearing shorts and slippers, I lay on the thin iron bed like a pool of mud. After a while of dizziness, the pale and hissing fluorescent lamp above my head gradually became clear.Moths and mosquitoes circled overhead. After several heavy rains, the room suddenly became humid.Some water droplets condensed on the walls, and water droplets from the roof began to fall.The floor started to slip and I almost fell in my slippers.I kept absorbing water with a mop, and the floor was flooded again for up to two hours, so I went to the toilet to wring out the mop and wipe it again.The most infiltrated area is the doorway, which must be placed with wooden blocks or bricks to prevent slipping.The bed was wet, and the moisture seeped through the skin and penetrated into the muscles, causing bursts of biting coolness, which made people worry about rheumatoid arthritis or even heart disease.We found newspapers to cover the sheets to block and absorb moisture, and the typefaces and pictures on the newspapers quickly became oily.As soon as the sun comes out, immediately take the bedding to dry on the wires pulled up between the small trees on the ground, and there will be no place for it if it is a little late. The compulsory course before going to bed every night is to kill mosquitoes.After summer, there are more and more mosquitoes, bigger and bigger, and more and more aggressive.We don't have any mosquito nets, and we all hate the smell of mosquito coils. After trying mosquito coils a few times, it didn't help.Our tactic was to close the door, plug the cracks, and attack the mosquitoes with our hands and old magazines.For some mosquitoes perched on roofs or high walls, we have practiced the unique skill of air strikes.Generally, you find an old book or magazine—it must be heavy and strong, and then throw it suddenly from a direction perpendicular to the mosquito, and the success rate can reach half.According to our statistics, an average of hundreds of them can be killed every night.Among them, more than 80% can be turned off before falling asleep, and the rest who hide must wait for a period of time after the black light, and suddenly turn on the light to have a "blitz".Usually, such "blitzkriegs" have to be carried out three to five times before the enemy's situation can be basically eliminated, and then the painful hands stained with mosquito blood are washed, and they fall asleep in shame.After a month, the walls of this room were covered with mosquito corpses and bloodstained.Thankfully, in this solid basement, there are no mice infested due to the lack of food, and cockroaches are only occasionally seen. Waking up every morning, looking at the rough ceiling and empty walls, presenting a deathly silence, only the abnormally white fluorescent tube was knocked out by one or two moths persistently. The weak voice of "poof" can't help but produce the illusion of self-denial.Suddenly, the iron sewer pipe as thick as a rusty bucket made a rustling sound from time to time. This is the peristalsis of the large intestine of the city. If you don't wake up one day, you will evaporate from the world.I shudder. I thought about my end and the way I died.The first is to starve to death, which I feel is unlikely.In this era of extremely abundant material, before losing the last trace of consciousness and physical strength, one must save oneself or be saved.Was killed?It is also unlikely that the murder was motivated, for money or sex.It is so poor that there is not even a mouse here, and it is superfluous for a woman to glance at it.Poisoned or drowned?possible.This closed and low-lying place, most likely a gas leak or flood back, will cause me to die miserably, turning blue and bleeding from all over the body, or soaked into a toad.Earthquakes are not impossible, Beijing is on the earthquake zone and the second basement is ten meters away from the epicenter.Once the earthquake hit, within a few seconds, more than 20 layers of tens of thousands of tons of reinforced concrete fell straight on the top of my head, and I was instantly reduced to powder or meatloaf.A thousand years later, archaeologists may find a fragmented human fossil in this corner, extract trace remnants from my remaining stomach pouch, and analyze the social phenomena of the prosperous porcelain capital thousands of years ago. My pockets and body are getting thinner and thinner, except for the rent for the last two months, there is nothing left.But I neither borrowed money from my friends nor reached out to my family. Instead, I often called to report that I was safe.I am both an incurable pessimist and an inveterate optimist.When you treat life as a survival experiment, everything becomes less grim and even interesting, and your potential is unbelievably burst out, giving you an inexplicable sense of accomplishment. I began to challenge my physical limits.First, change the hot bath to a cold bath, which is not a problem in summer.I negotiated with the landlord, who is like a prison guard, to take a cold shower for one yuan and five minutes.Then change from two regular meals a day to one regular and one pair.Usually, the breakfast is changed from porridge and noodles to a pancake fruit that can be seen everywhere in the food stalls in the community, or a sandwich cake in the deli cabinet of the "Jingkelong" non-staple food store. You can get it for one yuan, which is better than scooping a bowl in the landlord's pot. Offal soup is much cheaper.Steamed buns for migrant workers at roadside stalls cost 30 cents each, served with Sichuan mustard or hot sauce, and a cup of tea is also a breakfast.The highest record I had for two meals a day in the first week was a small piece of Shaanxi Liangpi, a small cucumber and a boiled corn cob, which cost less than two yuan. This record was soon broken: a piece of Liangpi for breakfast and lunch, A roasted sweet potato for dinner, directly sharing weal and woe with fellow Saharan Africans.Such nutrients and calories can actually support heavy mental work. It seems that great works can indeed be written in prison.But I dare not eat roasted sweet potatoes continuously. It’s not that I can’t stand it, but I quickly become a super-sucker. The already turbid air is even more filthy, which affects my environmentalism. After being ravaged, it’s hard to calm down and reduce imagination. .Qi Shunzi is as simple as I am, and he is as happy as I am when he eats these vulgar foods.The only difference is that he has a work meal every day. Another benefit of eating fewer meals is fewer trips to the bathroom.The most scary thing in this basement is going to the toilet.In the basement with hundreds of people, there are three partitions in the men's toilet, where all toilets and toilets are inside, and sometimes people take a bath inside, so the rush hour between waking up and going to sleep is like a track and field relay race.Usually there is only one person in the "wheel squat" inside. You line up outside to the corridor outside the bathroom. You are so anxious that you stomp your feet, laugh at your belly, and your butt cramps. Want buddy anal fissure?As soon as you got up inside, you outside held your belly, pinched the belt, covered your mouth and nose, and couldn't wait to stuff it sideways. In an instant, you could hear a dull and rude plopping sound and a comfortable and melodious personalized moan. Once, when I met a creepy guy, I yelled for a while, and couldn't help it, so I rushed into the women's toilet next door, causing screams and fights.This strong mover insisted on being scolded and beaten, while defending "I'm not a hooligan, I just couldn't bear it..." while completing the difficult burden reduction process.His superb kung fu was admired even by the police who heard the news. The landlord couple and some tenants also interceded for this unlucky guy. In addition, he had a naive face full of scratches. Because of the bloody case caused by the animal, he was severely reprimanded and let him go. Despite being flushable and having a vent, the public restrooms still stink.There are always people who don’t excrete the dirt properly, who spit on the floor, trough or wooden boards, who don’t wash after defecating, and who forget to bring toilet paper and wipe the dirt on wooden boards or even cement boards. It's unbelievable how powerful the kung fu is.This made me deeply understand that anything that loses clear property rights, even temporarily, has extremely serious consequences.As a result, I have a tacit understanding and respect for the great reform that made me a social virtuous. After a while, I started the challenge of eating one meal a day.This is quite difficult.After a few days of experimentation, apart from the severe pain from the contraction of the stomach sac, my mind was almost blank, and my body was even more limp.I suddenly got inspiration from the phenomenon of animal hibernation - go to bed early and wake up late, so that the calorie consumption can be minimized.So I got up around three o'clock in the afternoon, drank a lot of water first, had a big meal around five o'clock, and went to bed at nine o'clock in the evening.Try to drink as little water as possible at night, otherwise, the hunger in your stomach will eat you alive like crocodile teeth, and you will not be able to fall asleep again.I had such torture once. When I was dying, all kinds of strange and weird sounds kept ringing in my stomach. Gradually, visions appeared in my eyes, and auditory hallucinations occurred in my ears. Food is like the successful completion of the bigu technique.I think of Du Fu who starved to death, Zhu Ziqing who died of starvation, and Mu Dan who almost died of starvation. Yet?If it weren't for the revised manuscript, maybe I would try to eat once every two days. Before long, those of us who have lived in the basement for a long time are like the pit rats in the city, with disheveled faces, dull eyes and hair, a musty smell on our bodies, bony and abrupt bones, and always feel that there is a cloud of haze hanging over us. you.Compared with people who are often sunny, the temperament of "pit canal rat" can be seen at a glance.I don't know, did Balzac, who broke through Paris with a bald pen, ever fall to this point? This is still a "poetic dwelling" and a fucking "beautiful male writer". When I think about it, I giggled and laughed until tears filled my eyes.This honor should be left to Xian.I decided not to hang myself from a tree. If the book doesn't come out, all efforts will be in vain.At this time, I understand the meaning of the Western proverb "Publish or perish" better than anyone else. I met several booksellers, all suspicious-looking, small businesses, two to one office.They bluffed and chatted with me and brought out the contract, all of which were ambiguous clauses. I pretended to be interested and said that I would go back and study it, and then threw it into the trash can in the corridor when I went out. I still go to the newspaper column outside the community to read the newspaper for a while every day, and sometimes I go to the nearby stock exchange hall to take a look, or I hide in my "home" or lie on the stone bench in the community to read novels.The set of Jin Yong's complete works and a bunch of "Global Times" are like Shunzi's lifeblood. When he returns to "home", he picks them up, masturbates and studies hard at the same time. Jin Yong's works are basically blank except for watching a few episodes of TV series intermittently.To be honest, if it wasn't for Qi Shunzi's begging for recommendation and being extremely boring, I wouldn't even bother to take a look.After watching "Fearless" in middle school, I had deep doubts and despair about martial arts and martial arts.A few glances at Jin Yong's novels further solidified the contempt for martial arts and wuxia novels. The magical description makes martial arts more like witchcraft.Out of an ulterior and dark psychology, he still likes Wei Xiaobao, a bastard.But in this high-risk basement, I absolutely dare not be disrespectful in front of Shunzi. Maybe this simple-minded, well-developed limbs got angry for a while, and while I was asleep, he used me as a test of his magic skills. Taste. More than ten years ago, I also read the "Global Times" that "the foreign country is terrible, but the scenery here is beautiful", and the more I read it, the more I felt that I was invulnerable.When Qi Shunzi was reading this newspaper, he would often force a copy for me to share his obscenity.I was amazed by the masturbating laugh he often gave.A few times, when he was lying on the broken bed, he suddenly came up with a carp and laughed wildly: "Hit it, grandma!" "What are you hitting?" I was startled. "Those who offend me will be punished even if they are far away!" He gritted his teeth and danced, "Donate one month's salary for beating up Taiwan buddies, one quarter's salary for beating Israel buddies, half a year's salary for beating Indian buddies, and one year's salary for beating American buddies. Hit Little Japan - Dude will be a lifetime volunteer!" "Just donate a pair of underwear to fight in Java." I teased, "Masturbation strengthens the body, masturbation strengthens the country. In your situation, you can liberate all human beings. You can liberate yourself from B2 to B1." Shunzi licked his buck teeth and smiled mischievously. The composition of basement tenants is complex, but they have two things in common: smelly, and no money.The neighbors are a couple who professionally sell fake documents. The ubiquitous psoriasis advertisements in the city are the masterpieces of these people.Every day, men get business opportunities from the feedback, and after the negotiation is completed, they go to the meeting at the risk of being caught, while women use their children as a cover to sell them nearby.Once in a while, they dropped in occasionally, and they made no secret of their business, and showed us colorful certificates.I never dreamed that there are hundreds of kinds of documents in this magical country.I picked up a few copies at random: "Parents' Glory Certificate", "Birth Control Certificate (Shangwan Certificate)", "Cremation Certificate" and "Party Membership Certificate", which are almost fake. The woman graciously picked up a "Military ID" and "Disability ID" to sell: "These two IDs work, and there is no charge for taking the bus to the park." The man picked up the "police officer's card" with a secretive expression on his face: "With this thing, you don't need to pay for driving, and the lady can play whatever she wants, and it's useless." "Not bad." I pointed to Shunzi and asked the boss, "Do you have a virgin certificate? He needs one." Laughing, Zhong Shunzi fled in despair. Barbershops with better conditions cost more than ten yuan even for a haircut.In order to save money, I went to the simple barber shop at the entrance of the community, and it only cost five yuan for cutting and washing.Except for the stalls set up by bad old men on the street, this is the cheapest.After being seated, the owner started to get busy again, while the female apprentice next to him was clumsily handing out towels, soap and so on.This apprentice has dyed hair and tattooed eyebrows. He has a plump figure, and his facial features are well-proportioned on his slightly dark round face.When I asked if she was from Xinjiang, my limited knowledge of that region made me ask her if she could do the neck-twist dance.When he learned that I lived in the basement of a certain building, the master pointed to his apprentice and said, "She lives there too." "I've seen you," said the woman. "You're so happy when you're washing clothes and singing." "Oh. Which room do you live in?" "B2-07." After getting acquainted with this woman named Liu Jing, I would occasionally drop by to say hello.She lived in the smallest room, with nothing but a rickety broken bed and a simple canvas wardrobe with iron frames, and the rent was four hundred.Although the house is small, it is very feminine.There are a few pictures of Hong Kong and Taiwan stars she likes posted on the wall.The light bulb is actually pink. Liu Jing said that she bought it specially, and it feels warm.In order to prevent moisture, the floor is covered with a layer of colorful foam floor, which is composed of detachable small modules, which is very comfortable to step on.The bed is simple and tidy, and there is actually a doll.It's hard to imagine such a woman would succumb to a simple barber shop.This woman reminds me of Cher. One night, Liu Jing invited me to drink beer at her place.We sat cross-legged on the soft foam floor and drank while she smoked and drank.A year ago, she met a Beijing man who was on a business trip in Xinjiang. She fell in love quickly and lost contact later.She couldn't bear the torture, so she came to find love from thousands of miles away.Over the past few months, the rent has exhausted my meager expenses, so I moved here.When she couldn't find a boyfriend, she went to work in a barber shop and earned ten yuan a day for lunch. "It's normal to lose touch, demolition is happening all over the city. Does that person have an email?" I said.She obviously doesn't know what email is like I did two years ago.Looking at her powerless gaze, I said calmly, "It might be cruel to say something, but he doesn't care about you anymore." There was a twitch on her face, she buried her head in smoking and drinking silently.After a while, she raised her head and stretched out her wrist: "Look." The two words "love" and "hate" engraved with a knife appeared on both wrists, and several other cigarette burns became an indelible part of the body.I have seen this kind of cruel youth self-abuse memory a lot, and I still sighed and shook my head. She looked at me in confusion, and I thought for a while and said, "This can't solve the problem. You love someone who doesn't exist." "He exists! He exists!" she sobbed. "He used to exist because you could perceive each other; even if he exists now, it means nothing to you, it means that he doesn't exist anymore." She murmured: "I love him, and he loves me." "Why does he care about why you haven't contacted for so long? You haven't moved in your hometown, have you?" This sentence was so powerful that she had to nod silently. "Have you ever loved?" After a long silence, she changed the topic.I smiled and said, "I'm such a grown-up, so if there's no story, there might be an accident." She smiled: "Tell me and let me listen." "Now tell me about you, what are you going to do?" She shook her head in confusion: "I don't know. I want to ask in person." "You are so stupid, this is already very clear." I said, "Isn't Beijing looking for a needle in a haystack to find someone who has no clue?" "I'm stupid." She took my hand suddenly, "Brother, please help me and lend me some money. I have no money and I owe rent." I was taken aback, I thought she wanted me to be a private detective.For me at the time, money was the most sensitive word.I was very embarrassed: "Who in this basement has money—except the landlord." "I don't want to borrow more, eight hundred yuan is okay?" "I don't even have eight hundred." "Six hundred, I will pay you back when I get paid next month, or the landlord will blow me away." "I really haven't. Hurry up and call home, don't waste time and money." She was a little displeased, and drank dejectedly, I felt pity for her suddenly, she is also a loving woman.I said, "I can only lend you four hundred yuan, and I got it out of my teeth." Liu Jing cheered up and shouted that Brother Ge is really a good person.Followed me to withdraw the money, and insisted on typing the IOU. In addition to cutting expenses, we have to find ways to increase income.Compared with other rooms of the same size that often accommodate five, six, seven or eight people, we seem too extravagant.I proposed to bring in one or two more tenants, and Sunja said that he had already wanted to do so. The layout of the room is like this: when the door is opened, a passage about two meters wide and two meters deep connects to a large room of about ten square meters inside; at the junction, there is a doorway without a door.Therefore, if two single iron beds are placed on both sides of the aisle, there is still a passage in the middle for one or two people to pass through.If you can't find a wooden door, just nail a cloth curtain on the door opening and you'll be fine. In order not to let the landlord find out, he kept Shunzi's mobile phone when he advertised in "263", and he asked the tenant to contact me directly.No need to worry about having no tenants at all. The largest city in the country with the largest population on earth is like a huge sucker. Countless people are crushed into powder and thrown away, and more swarms fill in.Countless people like headless chickens are looking for a place to live in panic all day long. Shunzi and I were one of them two months ago, and we will continue to do so in the future.Sure enough, after the advertisement was released, there were several calls: those who sold pancakes and fruits, those who delivered water, those who delivered couriers, those who moved, those who did renovations, those who engraved seals, those who collected waste products, those who polished shoes... and those who found for others. Real estate intermediaries buy information for one yuan on the street, and some people download the information for sale.I am not sensitive to these people. Their backgrounds are too complicated, and some of them walk on the edge of illegality.The roommate we are looking for is like Shunzi, a young male with a legitimate career, who leaves early and returns late without affecting each other. In the evening, a woman knocked on the door.This girl is tall and slender, she is still childish, and she is dressed in a new and new human style, the kind of little girl who often hangs out in fashionable bars or disco bars.I reminded, "We're only looking for men." "Let me take a look first, I found it for someone," she said. "Aren't you an intermediary?" I don't want to waste time. "no." "A housing agent?" "no." "House entrustment?" "No." "Housing bank?" "no." "community service?" "Oh, what do you think of other people!" she screamed. "Sorry, I just want to find out." I smiled, "People are floating in the rivers and lakes, and if they don't pay attention, they will be stabbed." "Boss, do you see that I have a knife?" She rolled her eyes.I smiled shyly and let her in.She glanced around, patted the double mattress on the ground inside, sat down, lay down, and frowned, "It's so humid here." "The basement, the conditions are like this, it will be fine in winter." I took her to the public restroom to see the bathing equipment.On the slippery and hard road, her high heels made a sharp and muffled sound, her large walking posture almost caused her to fall, and a scream attracted many people out.The landlord's wife looked at me with a strange smile that was not a smile.In this complicated basement, some people often come back with suspicious-looking members of the opposite sex. For me, who left a dutiful impression on them, this is the first time.I said this is my acquaintance, use the toilet. "Acquaintances" complained ignorantly at this moment: "What a mess, it's so slippery!" "If you go to a five-star hotel, you won't be able to slip!" The landlady's wife responded in a low voice, and slammed the door shut. After returning, she chatted with me a little bit and started haggling with me.I said, "I haven't asked you about the situation yet, who will live here?" "My boyfriend works in IT." "Don't be ridiculous, IT is a gold-collar class, if you don't live in a villa, you have to live in an elevator apartment." "He—he just quit his job and is looking for a new job." "It's inconvenient for a man and a woman, we ask for a man." I reiterated, "The people who live here are pure men." She was taken aback: "His boyfriend is also a pure man!" At this moment, Qi Shunzi came back, looked at this goblin, was at a loss, and said after a while, "Do you also live here if you are engaged in IT?" "It used to be IT, but I was 'kicked' just now." I answered for the woman, we all laughed, and then discussed the price.I said that if one person lives in the inner room, it will be 400 yuan, and the two of them will pay 500 yuan, and each will pay 250 yuan. "Haha, two hundred and five, it's really you, boss." She laughed out loud. "Sounds a bit awkward, so how about it, two hundred and forty per person." I turned around to ask Qi Shunzi for advice, and he repeatedly said that I had the final say. She wanted to bargain, and I paid a lot, and showed her our payment voucher. "The two of you only have to pay four hundred!" She screamed again, making Qi Shunzi tremble with fright.I hurriedly stopped: "Stop barking like that, you'll attract wolves." "You guys are bullying!" Her oval face instantly turned into an eggplant face. "I can't live with you. We found the house. How much effort it took." I took her to the door to compare the sizes of the two houses, and I said, "As soon as your friend moves in, the two of us will move to this corridor. A curtain can be placed over the door opening, and the area inside is at least twice the size of the outside, what’s unreasonable? Why don’t you let your boyfriend live outside.” She fell silent for a while, and begged us to help her move. Her luggage was in a small hotel nearby.Only then did I know that this woman from a city by the Yangtze River was named Yanzi.Not long after the move, a boy dressed in a different style than Yanzi came.Crake body, sleeveless tight black jacket with many silver rings on it, cockscomb head, nostrils and ears with rings, hair permed to a chestnut color, standing upright like a torch, jeans with holes in the thighs, patterned shoes, full of It's not about facial expressions and Beijing movies.To be honest, such a small gangster, put in the "strike hard" twenty years ago, only with this attire, he was tied up and paraded through the streets, and then he was directly reformed through labor.Time flies, and in a flash, my young and vigorous old hooligan was marginalized by robbing shifts and seizing power. They were smoking cigarettes one after another inside, but I tried to persuade them twice but turned a deaf ear. If Qi Shunzi didn't calm me down, I would immediately ask them to open the way.When going out to eat, the honest Qi Shunzi also said that he wished he could kick this bastard for no reason.I laughed: "Hehe, stop kicking, others are already 'kicked people'." We made up our minds to drive them away. The strange thing is that the kid didn't stay, but the swallow lay down.Shunzi and I were at odds, Yanzi said they had a fight.I said, "Where is this?" "Let me stay here for a while!" Swallow was not polite at all. "This is so inconvenient, we have a pretty clean reputation." I said, smiling again, "I'm fine, Qi Shunzi is still a virgin." Qi Shunzi blushed to the neck like a kid whose pants had been ripped off in public, Yanzi sat up from the mat at once, laughing loudly with his hands fluttering.She was wearing loose pajamas with unusually wide underarm cuffs, revealing half of her breasts without a bra.I said seriously: "Gender-female co-renting is not the same as gender-mixed living. There is not even a door here." Swallow said: "Damn! Girls are not afraid of others, what are you two old men afraid of?" "Why are you swearing?" I was a little annoyed, but she didn't take it seriously: "Is this also a swearing? I'm convinced, boss! Okay, don't say it if you don't say it." "What's the matter with you and your boyfriend? Playing house?" After I finished speaking, Qi Shunzi accosted: "That's right, how old are you, a high school dropout, and you already have a boyfriend?" "Brother, I'm already an adult." Yanzi argued, taking out her ID card and shaking it, "I have an ID card." I took the ID card for verification. If the ID card was not bought from the boss next door, she is indeed over eighteen.She said she was taking a Chinese college diploma by correspondence.Qi Shunzi asked: "Eighteen is too young. Why are you so young in Beijing? My sister is the same age as you, and she is still in her third year of high school." "Look at my boyfriend. I'll live in his house, and her mother doesn't like me, so she kicked me out." Yanzi whimpered so much that she was about to cry.I thought of Liu Jing, and smiled wryly: "Another contemporary Meng Jiangnu." Qi Shunzi asked: "How can you live in your boyfriend's house at such a young age? How long have you known each other?" "Two months—almost three months, we met online, we all like 'Four Heavenly Kings'." She beamed, "My boyfriend said he knew the director and helped me film." Qi Shunzi and I looked at each other and sighed.Yanzi also said that she stole two thousand yuan from her parents and ran away.I screamed: "Calling you a swallow is a bird? Birds have to have stiff wings to fly. You ran away from home! It is a crime for us to tolerate you." Yanzi murmured, "Speaking like my father? They have already called home." "Then you shouldn't live here—you dare to live in the basement? Do you know who lives here? Are you not afraid that we are bad people?" After I finished speaking, I pointed at Qi Shunzi, who had a mouth full of buck teeth. , "Do you think he looks like a good guy?" Qi Shunzi closed his mouth reflexively, stepped back two steps sideways, and said shyly, "Dude, don't make fun of me." "I'm not afraid, my dad is a policeman!" Yanzi yelled, and my voice was louder than hers: "Your dad is a policeman, but you can't catch him. Where is this? The emperor's footsteps are the root of the imperial city. How about that small county town of yours?" I pulled Shunzi aside and asked him what he thought, and he said forget it, that's all, and the others have paid the money, and maybe someday they will move out.I thought about it, too, I didn't feel any pity for this startled woman, but I was helpless, so I told Yanzi that if he wanted to live here, he had to agree to two conditions.She looked at me cautiously, and I began to snap my fingers: "First, buy a curtain and hang it up." Yanzi looked like he was being bullied: "I bought it, will I pay the bill? I'm not the landlord." I paused: "We are not the landlord either. It is your private property, take it away when you move." The swallow "hummed".Shunzi accosted, "We're not afraid of being peeped at." I said again: "Second, don't be startled at every turn. Are you intermittently mentally ill? The sky is falling, are the wolves chasing you, or are the Japanese calling? Keep quiet and maintain the reserve that a girl should have." "Remember, boss." Swallow made eye contact, "He's called Swallow." "Don't chirp, don't roll your eyes, don't cross eyes, don't hang around in pajamas, button up tighter, and—" "Remember, Boss." Yanzi crossed her eyes again, lay back on the mattress, and chirped. "Don't call me boss, mess up the seniority, call me uncle." “不，我就叫老哥——反正你姓戈嘛。” “最后，室内不能抽烟，你要敢抽我肯定把你脖子拧个粉碎性骨折还不给你打石膏。” “别吓我啊。” “我——，我加一条行吗？”齐顺子插话了，“不能带你男朋友——以及类似于你男朋友那样的人来这，我看着就头皮发麻，心发慌，手发痒。” “嗯，我们Game over（游戏结束）啦。” “还有，这张写字台共用，我有时候用用——仅限于白天，不影响你睡觉。”我有些无耻地说。她想大叫，似乎意识到大叫也是徒劳，及时调低了几个调子：“这是人家的地盘嘢。” “啥叫你的地盘？这叫搁置争议，共同开发。我们就这条件，你可以答应，也可以不答应。”我蛮横地说。看着她不满的样子，顺子说：“这个电脑你可以打字听音乐。” “哈哈，太好了。行！可惜不能上网。还有啥条件？”燕子阴转多云。 我大功告成似的得意：“就这些啦。现在灭蚊子吧，三人一起来，这叫睡前歼灭战。” “这要求合理。”燕子哈哈大笑，一下弹射起来。 燕子根本就不去买啥帘子，每次睡觉时，她都盯着门道嚷嚷：“别偷看啊，别偷看啊……好啦，关灯吧。” 于是顺子伸手到门口的墙壁上一按开关。我没好气地说：“你烦不烦啊？哥哥叔叔们现在除了食欲啥都没有，你就拿咱们当太监吧，大大的安全。” “老大，听你的口气好像我没魅力似的。”燕子抱怨，我懒洋洋地：“魅力也只能撑死眼睛填不饱肚子。” “你没听说过秀色可餐啊？” 我说：“燕子，叔叔说了你还别生气，现在如果把你和一个窝窝头——还别说红烧肉呀东坡肘子呀烤牛排啥的——分别放在天平称的两边，我肯定不会倾向你。” “我抗议——！”燕子拍床尖声怪叫，“我抗议！侮辱人格，侮辱美女人格！” 齐顺子砸吧着嘴巴嚷起来：“你们就别说吃了，求求你们啦。” 燕子口口声声找工作，一直没音信，就跑到北影门口寻找当群众演员的机会，运气好的话，一天有二十块钱外加一盒饭。她一派踌躇满志状：“没准哪天被导演看上了呢。” 我和顺子对视而笑。 一天，燕子一回来就怒气冲冲：“哼，啥狗屁导演，居然让我去演站街女！” “演戏嘛！”我安慰她，“三级片出身的大明星还少啊？” “人家是冰清玉洁型的。”她眼泪汪汪地说，把我和顺子笑得拳打脚踢。 这个新来的叽叽喳喳的候鸟根本无法逃脱房东雷达般的眼睛，他们显然没打算放过我们，经过一番斗争，他们成功地从我们这里每月加收一百元。理由一，人数增加了水电费自然增加；理由二，人数增加了加重了他们的管理成本。 过了几天，入住一大四大女生。她搬来床垫和燕子同住里屋，只住一周就消失了。又过了一周，不住了，当即要搬家。燕子坚持收一月，这女子最多付一礼拜。为了这点房租，两女子叽叽喳喳不休，烦得我猛拍桌子：“别TMD吵了，都给我滚！” 她们被怔住了，齐顺子说：“大家各让一步，你就付半个月吧，虽然你只住了一周，但你占用了位置——加重了我们的管理成本——这垫子我们帮你盯着呢。” 那女子赶紧掏钱给燕子，和她男朋友搬着床垫子走了。房东老婆过来看了看，我开玩笑：“她走了，你们不用增加管理成本了。” 她讪讪一笑：“你咋就知道我来要钱哩？想你了，看看你行不？”