Chapter 11 Chapter 10 2009, a journey of discovery

Everything is temporary.He Xiaobing sat on the plane back to Beijing from Lhasa, looked out the window, and thought so. The plane flew higher and higher, and the cities, buildings, and vehicles were no longer visible, only the mountains and rivers remained.Many, long time ago, here used to be an ocean, and now it has become mountains and valleys, so magical.The changes in nature are still like this, let alone small human beings. If you understand how the earth was formed and its stages of evolution, you will believe that everything is temporary, although this is a hopeless idea, but it is true.There was no earth and human beings in the universe. The earth is just the accumulation of cosmic dust. Human beings are the most advanced life on the earth at present, and the first life on the earth is just algae.

Man is just a creature that the earth has developed to a certain stage in the universe. Just like dinosaurs will become extinct, human beings will become extinct sooner or later, and the reason for extinction is precisely because of self-importance—over-exploitation of the earth, the rain on the earth is getting worse It's getting bigger, the wind is blowing harder and harder, summer is getting stronger, winter is getting colder, and it's becoming more and more unsuitable for human habitation. It doesn't matter if you don't believe this, but you have to believe that sooner or later an individual will perish, so , what else is there that one must possess?

When the individual dies, only one thing will be passed down, and that is emotion.Every festival or Qingming Festival, there will always be someone who burns chicken for the deceased. This is a proof of affection—so, when you are alive, you must be worthy of the thoughts of others after death.Except for feelings, everything does not need to be taken too seriously.And the emotion will die with the giver and the receiver.The world is empty. Therefore, to be alive is to be alive, there should be no purpose, and nothing can be changed by being alive—a lot can be changed in a narrow time and space, but these changes are futile in a huge time and space.

In the past year, He Xiaobing still did not get out of the lost way.He vaguely felt that there were problems in his previous life, and he should get rid of the tired life as soon as possible, and stop paying for things he didn't want to do, but he didn't know how to solve these problems. He Xiaobing never touched the guitar again, and his mood improved because of this.In fact, it is not because he is really happy when he stops playing the piano, but because he stops thinking about and contacting those depressing things and appears happy because he stops playing the piano, just like a person who keeps putting his hands in ice, Putting his hands in cold water will also feel hot, and if he puts his hands in hot water at the beginning, and then puts them in cold water, he will only feel cold hands.

He Xiaobing knows that this superficial relaxation is actually an illusion, and his heart is still entangled. Only the kind of happiness that can be obtained without avoiding anything is the real happiness.He tried to pick up the guitar and stopped avoiding it, but the rhythm and melody played still contained a little anger and sadness. He knew that his current state of mind was like this and could not be changed.Therefore, if you want to get real happiness, you can only start from your own heart. He Xiaobing tried to live according to other people's way of life, but he still couldn't get their kind of happiness.He understands that other people's happiness can never belong to him, only the happiness that really belongs to him belongs to him, but no one knows what this happiness is except himself, and he doesn't know it now, so he will still temporarily Live in sorrow and indignation without happiness.

Looking at the vulgar hype and low-quality news overwhelming in the newspapers, He Xiaobing always feels that this world is ridiculous, and he doesn't understand why some people are keen on these superficial things.Money, violence, sex, what the worldly people pursue is nothing less than these.On tv and in magazines, people want to see nudes, people get naked to make money and live a good life, and there's a business, a fucking business that's built up like that.People have always had a dirty and ugly side in their hearts, and the diversification of social value orientation and aesthetics fully exposes this side of human beings.Those who made a name for themselves by being shameless did not get respect and support in life at the beginning, so they had to continue to be shameless and make a bigger name, but they did not get respect and support in life at the beginning , can only continue to be shameless, make a bigger name, become a star, and let the halo overshadow the disgrace of the past.People began to think more about this shameless person as a star, forget about his (her) shameless past.People are so pathetic, whether it is those who dare to be shameless, or those who regard them as stars and respect them.

At a young age, like a dry sponge, it is time to absorb water. It is difficult to understand why someone insists on soaking themselves in swill, and actively squeezes it out. He Xiaobing didn't want to be filled with these things before his eyes, so he decided to stop the newspaper and call the deliveryman.The newspaper delivery guy said, brother, you call the subscription department, I'm in my hometown, rest for a few days, and have fun. Everyone who delivered the newspaper knew to rest and play, and He Xiaobing also decided to go out to have fun.At this time, Yan Kuan sent a letter to He Xiaobing, and Xia Huguo was in Tibet.

For a long time, Yan Kuan still checks the photos of women looking for marriage sent by the dating agency website every day. Once he saw a girl's profile, saying that she likes travel, music and animation, and left the word "hey" at the end. Yan Kuan looked at it. It became a "sex", thinking that this girl's hobbies are really unique, and wanted to see what a girl who has such hobbies and dared to share with the public looks like, so she clicked on her photo, and it turned out to be Xia Hugo.Yan Kuan couldn't believe that Xia Huguo had become like this, so he read her information again, only to realize that he had read it wrong.Yan Kuan was afraid that Xia Huguo would be taken away by others, so he quickly sent her a letter for He Xiaobing, saying that he wanted to have an in-depth chat with her, and accompanied it with a fake photo.Xia Huguo happened to be online, so he wrote back and said what he wanted to talk about in the letter.Yan Kuan said that typing can't express his inner thoughts clearly, and he still hopes to invite her to meet for coffee or dinner.Xia Hugo said that she is now in Tibet and won't be able to go back to Beijing for a while.Yan Kuan couldn't judge the truth, so he said that he knew that his conditions were not good, and Xia Huguo looked down on him, but he hoped that Xia Huguo would not reject him in this way, and he could just say it.Xia Huguo said that she didn't mean that, she was really in Tibet, and posted a photo just taken in the Potala Palace.Yan Kuan quickly told He Xiaobing this clue.

He Xiaobing knew that Xia Hugo wanted to go to Tibet a long time ago. He didn't know why she wanted to go there, but he knew that there was no need for a reason to go to Tibet, because it was Tibet, not only Xia Hugo, but also the dream of many people. The place to go, including He Xiaobing.So, for Xia Hugo and to see what is behind the dream, He Xiaobing went to Lhasa. When the train passes through Qinghai, the signs of the city no longer exist, replaced by blue sky and white clouds, snow-capped mountains and rivers, vast grasslands, yaks and sheep scattered like pearls, and herdsmen on motorcycles. There is a natural closeness to the scene. Although he didn't participate in it, he felt the taste of life.This is different from the feeling in the city. In Beijing, he often passes by those office buildings and apartments with fountains and flowers at the door, clean roads, and always being sprayed by workers to keep them half wet. A doorman in uniform, white gloves, and a walkie-talkie, a shiny car parked downstairs, and elegant people with briefcases coming in and out, He Xiaobing prefers to visit such a scene as a guest, rather than as a The identity of the owner goes in and out on such occasions every day, but when he sees the Tanggula Mountains, the grasslands in northern Tibet, the cattle and sheep grazing, the Tibetans digging caterpillar fungus, and the Tibetan children running with the train, Seeing the harmonious coexistence between man and nature, He Xiaobing feels another kind of fun and meaning in life.

Entering Lhasa, He Xiaobing walked in front of the Potala Palace, a little dazed.Surrounded by people in foreign costumes, they spoke words that He Xiaobing could not understand, wore headgear that He Xiaobing would not wear, and even had different skin colors from He Xiaobing. Walking in the Potala Palace, there were some Tibetans who kowtowed with long heads, kowtowed every three steps, their five bodies fell to the ground, their foreheads had already been knocked out, and He Xiaobing felt that it was a bit awkward to be in this place.After he walked around the Potala Palace, the estrangement between him and the people around him disappeared. He felt their vitality and could blend in. He bought things from Tibetans at bargain prices, and even bought local Eat, eat while walking.He Xiaobing thought, maybe life is like this. When a new life comes, you may feel uncomfortable and helpless at first, but as long as you don’t escape and live in it, all the awkwardness will be transformed into nature and become wonderful.

Under the shade of a tree in a teahouse by the side of the road, a pair of old man and old lady were sitting after finishing their prayers. The prayer wheel was placed aside, and a pot of sweet tea was placed on a small square table for the two of them to drink.The old man asked for a bowl of Tibetan noodles. When the noodles came, the old man refused to eat. The old lady ate alone. The old man refilled his tea, took a sip, and looked at the Potala Palace in the distance. The DVD player in the store plays the MV of a Tibetan singer with curly hair and deep eye sockets. He sometimes wears a Tibetan robe and rides a horse, and sometimes wears jeans and a leather jacket and rides a motorcycle. The male singer uses livestock and modern means of transportation to follow the heroine across the grasslands, mountains, lakes, and temples, and makes all kinds of actions that are used by singers in the 1990s, but they are sincere, not annoying, and even enviable. They can think of nothing while doing these actions. The owner of the teahouse is a young couple in their early twenties, also of Tibetan nationality. They are busy in the kitchen behind them. Their one-year-old child is holding a full milk bottle in the store, crawling on the ground and lying on the ground for a while. Under the table, when I got out from under the table, the bottle was already empty.The backyard is where they live. There are also elderly people in the family. The old people have gone out to pray. They run this small shop to maintain the life of the whole family.After finishing the work in the store, the little husband went to play billiards on the pool table at the door, and the little daughter-in-law broadcasted the TV to Hunan Satellite TV to watch idol dramas with the child in her arms.From this young couple, He Xiaobing saw a natural life. It is the nature of animals that parents raise their children and children support their parents.It is precisely because people are higher than animals, have thinking, have condemnation of why their parents gave birth to themselves, and have love and hatred, which leads to people sometimes doing lower-level things than animals.Abandon the old man.There are also some people who think they are superior to others, and waste their energy on worrying about their parents who gave birth to themselves and wondering why they should raise the next generation, instead of thinking about how to support the elderly and raise children well. He Xiaobing left the teahouse, turned into an alley, and heard the fluttering sound of a guitar coming from a small courtyard, which perfectly matched the scene in front of him.He Xiaobing liked this scene and felt very comfortable.It wasn't the unique architecture, strange clothing, and unfamiliar language that made him interested. These are interesting, especially when you experience them for the first time, they are easy to excite, but after more contact, they will lose their allure.What is really attractive is the high sky, vast expanses of clouds, green mountains and flowing water, without the shackles of reinforced concrete, without the haste of traffic lights, without the fetters of office buildings, working meals, taxi tickets, company annual meetings, and after being fully in contact with nature, you will not think about mess things, the heart will naturally become peaceful. Here, the only thing He Xiaobing is thinking about is how to find Xia Huguo.If time could be turned back, he would not let Xia Huguo leave him. Thinking of this, He Xiaobing went to the Jokhang Temple again. The crowd composed of Tibetans and believers was walking around the Jokhang Temple clockwise. He Xiaobing did not believe in Buddhism. The hour hand revolved around the Jokhang Temple. He hoped that by walking in this way, the time could go back to the past, and Xia Huguo was still by his side. He Xiaobing shuttled through the crowd, and came face to face with the pious faces of the people who turned the temple. It could be seen that their hearts must not be empty, but had faith, and there was a sense of determination on their faces. In the past, He Xiaobing was skeptical about everything, and felt that only things that he had thought about and agreed with were worth believing. Doing so would inevitably keep him vigilant against the outside world at all times, and he would not be able to relax himself and not be happy.But now, He Xiaobing feels that it is happiness to believe in something, or to have a little faith. For example, these Tibetans and believers, although their lives are hard, can't see any sorrow from them, and the happiness they get from faith overwhelms the bitterness of life. A young lama is prostrating his head, and the crowd gives him space so that his movements can be fully extended.He Xiaobing stopped and looked at this young monk, wearing a leather apron and covering his hands with wooden planks, lying on the ground like diving, his head touched the ground, and he never touched the water. There was a piece of dust on his forehead. In the middle is a raised 趼子, like a sky eye. As if no one was around, the monk worshiped wholeheartedly, walked three steps forward, then turned ninety degrees, faced the Jokhang Temple, fell down on the ground, kowtowed, then got up, turned back ninety degrees, chanted scriptures, and walked three steps forward, Turn around ninety degrees again, and bend down towards the Jokhang Temple.He Xiaobing feels that these movements exude an invincible power, which makes everything in the world no longer important. Just as the monk bent down, He Xiaobing felt a flash in front of his eyes. He extended his gaze a little farther away, and saw a girl standing quietly, watching the monk who bowed her head. It was Xia Huguo. The monk stood up, blocking He Xiaobing's sight, and after walking three steps forward, the monk bent down again, and Xia Huguo appeared in front of He Xiaobing again.At this time, Xia Huguo also raised his head and met He Xiaobing's gaze. Among the crowd walking towards him, Xia Huguo's face appeared very vividly in front of He Xiaobing. Neither of them was surprised. It seemed that the moment their eyes met was logical. He Xiaobing looked at Xia Huguo. He hadn't seen her for two years. It seemed that she hadn't changed, but she was indeed different from before, and he couldn't tell what had changed. The monk who bowed his head had already walked out of the sight of He Xiaobing and Xia Huguo, and there was only one person in their eyes. The two looked at each other, He Xiaobing subconsciously turned his head to look at the teahouse next to him, Xia Yuguo followed He Xiaobing's line of sight, and then they looked at each other again, then walked towards the teahouse in unison. The two sat facing each other, with a pot of sweet tea in the middle. A Tibetan child came to ask for money. Xia Huguo took out the change and gave it to him. He took the money and left. as together. The two drank the sweet tea in their respective cups, like a pair of friends who have forgotten their grievances but could not be as good as before. "How many days have you been here?" He Xiaobing asked. "It's been almost a week." Xia Hugo said, "What about you?" "Just one day." "Are you used to it?" "It's okay, but I'm a little out of breath when I walk too fast." "Then walk slowly, I was panting when I climbed the stairs when I first arrived." "Where have you been since you came to Tibet?" He Xiaobing asked. "I was a little uncomfortable before, and I haven't traveled too far." Xia Hugo said. "Are you used to it now?" "No problem." "Where are you going?" "Not yet. What about you?" "I didn't think about it either." The two were talking lukewarmly. When the sweet tea was finished and the words suitable for the mood of the moment were finished, the teahouse had guests again, and there were no seats left. "Let's go, give up the land to others!" Xia Hugo said. "En." He Xiaobing stood up. The two left the teahouse. "Where do you live?" Xia Hugo asked. "Over there." He Xiaobing pointed in one direction and said, "What about you?" "Over there." Xia Hugo pointed in another direction and said, "I'm going back to the inn." "Shall I see you off?" "No need, I'll walk back by myself." Xia Hugo said, "You should pay more attention to rest, and then go to places with higher altitudes to play after you get used to it." "The same to you." "I'm leaving." "Yeah." He Xiaobing watched Xia Huguo go away, turned and went back to the inn. Xia Huguo felt that He Xiaobing had left, so he turned a corner and walked back. At night, He Xiaobing couldn't sleep, chest tightness, shortness of breath, and Xia Huguo always appeared in his mind, tossing and turning without sleep, got up and left the inn, and went out for a walk. The surroundings of the Jokhang Temple were completely silent, the street lights were on, and the hustle and bustle of the day was gone, only the soldiers on guard.He Xiaobing went to the countryside to do as the Romans did, and began to walk around the Jokhang Temple clockwise. Once he made a turn, he could accumulate a favor. Zhetian is surrounded by peddlers and a wide range of goods. Tourists and believers pass by here, bustling with people. Now those stalls stand empty in the night, and those people may have fallen asleep peacefully to welcome the excitement of tomorrow.No one lives in bustle, and no one lives in tranquility all the time. The smell of herbs burned in the monastery floated in the air, and the moon hung high in the night sky. He Xiaobing strolled and felt the tranquility of Lhasa night, when a figure suddenly appeared in front of the gate of Jokhang Temple, sitting on the stone steps, very familiar. The figure also sensed that someone was approaching and turned to look. "What a coincidence." He Xiaobing stepped forward and said. "Yes," Xia Hugo said sitting down. "Is it cold, give me my clothes?" He Xiaobing sat down beside him. "It's not cold, and you don't wear much." Xia Hugo moved to the side. "Don't you sleep so late?" "Didn't you sleep too?" Xia Huguo took out a bag of yak jerky from his pocket, ate a piece, and handed the bag to He Xiaobing. "Find another place to drink?" He Xiaobing took out a piece and put it in his mouth. "It's all right here." "Okay, if you want to be cold, let's sit somewhere else." "The air is good outside." "But it's thin, and I'm kind of suffocating." "I have medicine." "No, I'm getting used to it." "How long are you going to stay?" "I don't know, what about you?" "I do not know either." "How have you been these two years?" "Not bad. What about you?" "no." "Everything will be okay." "right!" The two were silent, only the sound of chewing beef jerky could be heard. "Are you at work?" He Xiaobing broke the silence. "No." "Walking all the time?" "I went to graduate school, and it's similar to Huangyou." "which school?" "Peking University." "Not bad! Didn't you say that your major in Tsinghua University is better?" "I don't like Tsinghua University. The students of Tsinghua University want to ride a bicycle on campus, hurrying to class, like delivering a courier. When I went for a stroll, I almost bumped into it. The students of Peking University can look at the quails and trees on the lake. The squirrels on the river, listening to the magpies, just sit by the river for a whole day." "Then you just sat by the lake for the past two years?" "That's fine, I just do work for the teacher. I really don't want to sit still when I pass by the river, my mind is full of problems." "Boys at Peking University can write poetry." "What's the matter?" "Have any boys written poems for you?" "I'm sleepy." "I'm not sleepy yet." "I'm going back." "Sit down a little longer." "You don't sleep, and you don't let others sleep, isn't that bad?" "Then I'll take you back!" "No." "There's no one on the street, it's too dangerous." "As long as you don't follow me, there is no danger." "okay then." "I'm leaving, and you go back to sleep early." "I'll go back when I'm sleepy." He Xiaobing watched Xia Huguo leave until he disappeared.Apart from staying outside, He Xiaobing had nothing to do, so he went back to the inn. The door of the inn was locked. He knocked, but no one answered. There was a courtyard, and the guest room was at the back. Students don't often come back in the middle of the night, so in the middle of the night, the waiter on duty also went to sleep in the back. There was no hope of going back to the house to sleep, so He Xiaobing returned to the Jokhang Temple, hoping that Xia Huguo would also be shut out of the inn, so that they could spend a few more hours together. This time, he still saw the stone in front of the Jokhang Temple, but there was nothing people sitting.He Xiaobing turned clockwise and counterclockwise again.Until I met two armed policemen who came up to question me: "Please show your ID card." Fortunately, He Xiaobing had his ID with him. After the armed police inspected it, they believed his reason for not going to sleep and let him continue to transfer. He Xiaobing turned bored, turned into the alley next to him, took a detour, and passed the yard where the guitar sounded when he passed by. It was the guitar sound that came out at this time that reminded He Xiaobing that he had been here before. The door of the yard was ajar, and the light came through the crack of the door. He Xiaobing looked inside. A middle-aged man was sitting under the chandelier on the eaves, playing the guitar.There are two kinds of good music, one is pleasant, smooth, or melodious, or cool;The music played by this person has the latter effect. Although this kind of music does not understand what it wants to express, it carries an emotion that makes people like to immerse themselves in this emotion. He Xiaobing was attracted and stepped forward to knock on the door. "Come in!" The piano player didn't stop. He Xiaobing opened the door and entered the courtyard, the player who played the piano smiled and nodded at him, He Xiaobing approached and sat down beside him. The person playing the piano is holding a classical guitar in his hand, with elegant posture, calm, and gentle string pressing, without mania, but without losing strength, and it is equally beautiful.He Xiaobing feels that this way of playing also presents a way of entering life, which is peaceful without losing himself. He does not treat the external world with an attitude of blindly confronting and fighting to the end, but participates in it rationally and neither humble nor overbearing. A more advanced attitude. The person who plays the piano does not play too complicated music, just a few simple chords, mixed with a few simple notes, constitute a beautiful melody.When He Xiaobing was learning the piano, he was too obsessed with technique, thinking that only highly difficult techniques can play the melody of Brilliant B. In fact, that kind of technique is more of a performance. It may not be able to impress people, and real music is not a performance, it is to make people feel a warm current in the heart, or a chill in the spine after the pores are opened. He Xiaobing knew the most basic chords and notes played by the piano player just now, but he couldn't play the same effect.Even with the same chord, different rhythms and broken playing methods, it can play different feelings in that person's hands, but He Xiaobing can't do this.From this, he knew that beauty does not lie in complexity and simplicity, but whether it is integrated with emotion. "It's okay, play casually." After the song, the pianist put down the guitar and said. He Xiaobing applauded. He could tell that the piano player was definitely not an amateur. "Here you are." The player handed the guitar to He Xiaobing. "I won't." He Xiaobing knew that he could only make a fool of himself. "To travel?" asked the piano player. "Turn around." He Xiaobing said. "First time?" "right." "You should go to bed earlier. On the plateau, if you don't rest well, you will feel uncomfortable." "Can't sleep, come out for a walk." "If you don't sleep, you won't be able to sleep." "Sleeping doesn't necessarily mean you can fall asleep. You fall asleep when you get back from walking." He Xiaobing said, "How many years have you been playing the piano?" "From playing it in the 1980s to now, there was a pause in the middle." The player said, "I don't play it in the temple." "In the temple?" "I've been a monk, and now I'm a layman." "Someone here called the qin player by name, and asked him if he would like supper, and the qin player said he was not hungry. He Xiaobing was taken aback when he heard his name, thinking it sounded familiar, and remembered who this person was. He Xiaobing reported the name of the old man who taught him how to play the piano and said, "Did he teach you?" "Yes." The piano player was also surprised, "How do you know?" "I also learned the piano from him, and he mentioned you." He Xiaobing only carefully observed the piano player at this moment. He was already tanned like a local, with bronzed skin and white teeth. When getting along, he was kind, natural, and healthy. Vitality, unlike those Beijing rockers, are a bit sick. "Is the teacher okay?" said the piano player, "I haven't contacted him since I left the temple." "He's pretty good." He Xiaobing said, "Why did you become a monk back then, and how did you return to vulgarity later?" The piano player smiled: "It's like I used to only be able to walk. It's not fair to ride a bicycle. It's not convenient to go to a place. I had to learn to ride a bicycle. Now that I have learned it, it is convenient to go anywhere. I can also take people and carry people. If you learn something, you won’t forget it, you don’t need to practice every day, even if you don’t ride for a long time, you can ride whenever you want.” "Start playing the piano every day?" "Yes, although I'm not angry anymore, I'm still sticking to rock and roll." The piano player said with a smile, "Rock and roll music can be played at any time, it depends on how you define it, it doesn't have to be cursing or making noise." "Are you still planning to release an album?" "Tinning music doesn't have to be published, I just play it here every day, and it's enough for people who are destined to hear it." The piano player said, "The meaning of doing things is more meaningful than the results of things, although the results are more important to fate. decisive significance." "Do you know what the music industry is like now?" "I don't need to know." The piano player said, "Whether the music environment is good or not has nothing to do with me. What I like is music, not the music environment. The past and the glory and loss of the reality, say a thousand words and ten thousand, nothing matters. No, it’s two different things from the music itself.” He Xiaobing nodded: "Then what is music to you now?" "It is nothing, and it is everything." The piano player said, "The existence of music is not for people to get something from it. If you have to get something from it, then it is only correct to get emotional release and resonance. Rather than fame and fortune, those who hold this purpose do not deserve to have music." "The taste of music has changed now. It's different from when you debuted. At that time, every album could be listened to." He Xiaobing said. "The legendary era when we first debuted has passed. At that time, we didn't know what rock music could bring, it was just a cry from the heart, without any color, it was completely emotional, and it happened that the market needed this kind of sound , So this group of people succeeded.” The piano player stared at the guitar with bright eyes, “It cannot be said that that era will never return, maybe a hundred years later, maybe two hundred years later, in another form, there will be Come here once, but it has nothing to do with us, we can’t run into each other, because the market is used to this kind of voice, and the voice is not so pure now, in this era, if one person does things, there is no utilitarianism There are too few people with a heart, including those who were not utilitarian in the past, so there is no voice to call back that era." "No matter what the times are, really good things will still emerge." He Xiaobing said, "Just like true knowledge and wisdom, there will be no mixed reviews. The existence of doubting voices is because the object of questioning itself exists. A place to be criticized." "But the truth is often ignored in reality, and the seemingly beautiful nonsense is served. Errors exist everywhere, so when I know what is true, it doesn't matter where I stay. I just came here." The piano player picked up the guitar and played a few times, "Only music is real." Only then did He Xiaobing pay attention to the environment. This is a small restaurant, which can also accommodate people. There are flowers and plants in the courtyard. The room has two floors. The upstairs is for sleeping, and the downstairs is for eating. There are ornaments hanging at the door. Unlike ordinary restaurants and hotels, there is no signboard here, which is similar to ordinary people's houses. "Is this shop yours?" He Xiaobing asked. "Two people with friends." The piano player picked up the guitar again and started playing. He Xiaobing bid farewell to him during the music, and walked out of the yard. In the next few days, He Xiaobing came out frequently, but he didn't meet Xia Huguo again. When he was bored, he went to sit and have a meal at the piano player's shop. "You didn't come to Tibet just for fun, did you?" the piano player asked He Xiaobing after several visits. "Many people who come here come with questions." "Go for a walk in the distance, no matter whether it can satisfy you or not, there will always be gains." Namtso, the first holy lake in Tibet and the highest saltwater lake in the world, has an endless stream of pilgrims every year, so He Xiaobing decided to visit there. It happened that a young couple from the inn gathered together to charter a car, and He Xiaobing joined in. Except for the driver, there were four people who could sit down, and there was only one more. The driver said he would be in charge. Early in the morning, the driver came to the inn to pick up He Xiaobing and the couple. The couple sat in the back row, and He Xiaobing sat in the co-pilot.After pulling them together, the driver went to pick up another person. The car stopped and turned around the intersection. Xia Huguo stood by the side of the road and got into the car. "Can you sit in the front?" He Xiaobing turned his head and smiled at Xia Huguo triumphantly. "No need." Xia Hugo said. "Do you two know each other?" the driver asked. "I don't know." Xia Hugo said. "Then how do you make it seem like you are very familiar with him?" The driver said to He Xiaobing, "But this time I know each other, and the people who shared my car have formed several pairs." Along the way, the driver enthusiastically acted as a tour guide, introducing the customs of Tibet.From May to September every year, Tibetans are busy at work, grazing, milking new year's milk, making ghee, and making salt.In October, when they were free, some of the herdsmen took this year's income to go to the Buddha, prostrating their heads all the way to Lhasa for several months.There are also some herdsmen, with yaks, ghee and salt, crossing the high mountains with an altitude of 6000 to 7000 meters, in exchange for food, tea and other daily necessities.Although the Qinghai-Tibet and Sichuan-Tibet highways have been opened, there are still no roads in many remote villages and towns, and goods cannot be transported there. The car is driving on the Qinghai-Tibet Highway, with towering peaks on both sides, thick clouds drifting, sometimes sunny, sometimes cloudy, the weather is unpredictable, rain and mountain wind will appear at any time.In inhabited places, prayer flags are erected, and Tibetans are praying to the gods of heaven and mountains to bless them and their livestock.Seeing the awe of Tibetans for nature, seeing the unity and integration of people, mountains, climate, and livestock here, He Xiaobing felt that urbanites are too comfortable, and some things are too easy to obtain, so he thought that everything that exists now is worthless. It should be taken for granted. If you lose your awe of nature, you will be at a loss once you get into trouble. Think about the people here, and think about those people who unscrupulously use their dignity and body as the price to live a good life immediately. These are two different qualities of life. More than three hours later, Namtso Lake appeared in front of us.The blue water of the lake is bluer than the sky, and the water birds are resting and looking for food by the lake. The clouds are hanging low in the sky, covering the main peak of Tanggula Mountain on the other side of the river, and the white snow on the mountain can be vaguely seen.Approaching the lake, the waterfowl are startled and spread their wings between the mountains and the blue sky.The young couple was overwhelmed by the beautiful scenery, and the daughter-in-law kept posing for her husband to take pictures. "Let me take photos for you too." He Xiaobing asked Xia Huguo. "No, I can take a selfie." Xia Hugo held up the camera, pressed the shutter on himself, then checked, found the problem, and adjusted the angle before taking the photo. "Your face is distorted when you look at it like that." He Xiaobing said. "It looks better when it's deformed!" Xia Hugo made a face at the camera. He Xiaobing took out his camera and took a picture of Xia Hugo and the scenery together. "Don't take pictures of me!" Xia Hugo blocked He Xiaobing's camera. "I'm taking pictures of the scenery behind you!" He Xiaobing said. Xia Huguo stood behind He Xiaobing: "Let's take a picture!" He Xiaobing turned around with the camera, and then turned to Xia Huguo: "I found that the lighting and scenery are not good-looking, and the scenery is only good when you stand in front." Press the shutter. Xia Huguo also simply held up the camera and took a quick shot at He Xiaobing: "I found that the lighting and scenery are very beautiful, but the scenery when you stand in front is not so good!" The two chased each other to take pictures, getting closer and closer, and finally leaned together, and began to hold up their cameras to take group photos. At this time the driver came over: "If you want to take a photo with me, tell me, I'll take a photo for you two!" "Take pictures with my camera!" He Xiaobing handed over the camera. The driver took the camera and took a few steps back: "It's taken, you two are a little far away, get closer." The two stood together, and the driver pressed the shutter. "Take a picture with my camera," Xia Hugo said. The driver took Xia Huguo's camera and composed the picture: "It's taken, one, two, three!" When the driver shouted three, He Xiaobing put his hand on Xia Huguo's shoulder from behind. After taking the photo, the driver returned the camera to Xia Huguo: "After we go back, your cameras will no longer be able to distinguish between you and me." After playing by the lake, I went back to the parking lot, where several tents were set up. A hunchbacked Tibetan old lady, whose body was almost bent into a "7", was making buttered tea with a big butter bucket, and there was a pot on the fire next to it. While the soup was boiling, the old lady finished making tea, tasted the soup with a spoon, and took the huge pot off the fire. A few dirty Tibetan children who were chasing the Tibetan mastiff ran over, waiting for the old lady to give them Serving the soup, the old lady poured the soup into each bowl with wrinkled hands, took out a large steamed bun from the tent, and broke it open. The children ate happily, and there was a strong breath of life and strength in the tent. . When they came, He Xiaobing and Xia Huguo were in front of each other in the car, and when they returned, they sat together.I passed through a mountain pass with an altitude of 5,200 meters twice, and the average altitude along the way was above 4,500 meters. The daughter-in-law of the young couple suffered from altitude sickness and motion sickness, had a headache and vomited, so He Xiaobing sat in the front row. He should sit next to Xia Hugo in the back row. Waking up early in the morning and tired from playing, Xia Huguo fell asleep sitting up, her head resting on He Xiaobing's shoulder involuntarily. He Xiaobing smelled the familiar shampoo. “师傅，慢点儿开，别太颠了。”何小兵招呼司机道。 司机从后视镜看到夏雨果靠着何小兵睡着了，心领神会地冲何小兵笑了笑。 可惜路途太短暂，三个多小时后，回到拉萨市区，夏雨果醒了，头从何小兵的肩上挪开。 “再睡会儿吧！”何小兵说。 “我说怎么直做噩梦，原来是靠你靠的！”夏雨果揉揉眼睛看了看窗外说。 “占了便宜还卖乖哈！”何小兵说。 “也不知道咱俩谁占便宜！”夏雨果说，“师傅，停下车。” “还没到你住的地方呢！”司机说。 “我在这边转转再回客栈。”夏雨果说。 “我陪你转吧？”何小兵说，“正好我也想转转。” “不用，你要是转我就不下车了。”夏雨果说。 夏雨果提前下了车，何小兵让她有事儿给他打电话，夏雨果说不会有事儿的。 何小兵一个人落寞地回到客栈，进了屋倒在床上，眼睛一闭，睡着了。 不知道睡了多久，恍惚听见院里有人说话，在问有没有热水之类的事儿，然后是拖拉着行李箱、开锁的声音，何小兵的对面屋住进了人。 何小兵睡不着了，出了屋，见对门正敞着门，夏雨果蹲在地上，从行李箱里往外拿东西。 原来，夏雨果回到住处后，想洗澡，没热水，老板说热水器坏了，一时半会儿有不了热水。夏雨果只好搬家，其实她住的地方离何小兵的客栈很近，前几天她故意说跟何小兵住在两个方向。这次搬家，因为行李多，便就近找了一个客栈，没想到又碰上何小兵了。 “先不理你，我得洗个澡。”夏雨果关上客房的门，拉上窗帘。 何小兵站在门口扬扬得意地笑着走开，躺在院子里的摇椅上，闭上眼睛，阳光照下来，云朵飘过，眼前一阵红一阵黑。何小兵呼吸着自由的空气，听着远处传来的藏族民歌，感觉一派祥和，他突然想到，自己已经好几年没有打过架了，正渐渐从过去的易怒中走出来，变得平和。 何小兵要了一壶普洱茶，喝出阳光、雨露、土地、空气的味道，他觉得这才像生活的味道。而之前，他的生活就像喝可乐，虽然喝进嘴里也有滋味，但喝完除了打嗝，什么都没剩下。 躺椅下有一个蚂蚁洞，蚂蚁们正进进出出忙碌着。小时候何小兵看到蚂蚁洞，会用尿浇它，让蚂蚁们练习游泳。那些蚂蚁很神奇，虽然洞口被泥土封住，但第二天那里准出现一个新蚂蚁洞，而且不见死掉一只蚂蚁，这时候何小兵会解开裤子，继续锻炼它们游泳。现在他不会这么干了，他知道替蚂蚁考虑了。 何小兵掏出MP3，戴上耳机，又闭上了眼睛。现在他依然觉得，听到好的音乐，这辈子可以什么都不干，光听它就够了。那一瞬间，它能让你忘掉所有快乐、不快乐、伤痛、沮丧、郁闷，让你如沐春风，哪怕听完就死了，听着这种音乐死，会死得很舒坦。 音者，声音也；乐者，令人愉悦之意。所以，音乐不是让人痛苦的。而以前，音乐却让他痛苦，回忆那段青春的日子，幽暗晦涩，不知道自己是怎么挺过来的。 那时候他跟社会是拧着劲儿的，因为什么都没有又什么都想要。就像一个正在生气的人，说话、办事儿，肯定都不正常。以前看什么都戴着滤镜--摇滚乐很容易让一个单纯的人不再客观地看待世界--所以世界并没有客观如实地呈现，爱恨也没有如实地产生，恨先入为主了。 回想过去，过于追求病态的感觉，并不健康，音乐是需要灵感，痛苦是灵感的来源之一，但不是全部，伟大的作品中都有关怀和爱。创作的渴望不仅来源于对现实的不满，同样也能来源于对生活的爱，而且他愈发喜欢后者所带来的灵感，这种创作不必经历过程的痛苦，也能获得创作的喜悦--热衷创作的人，起步阶段其实都是热衷于创作成果所带来的喜悦，所以认为其过程所遭受的痛苦是值得的，很少有人想过，其实作品不必非得用让自己痛苦去交换。 故意追求愤怒很没有必要，快乐有什么不好吗，触及心灵并不是非得揭伤疤，也可以灌输甜蜜。 现在何小兵知道不应该再挣扎了，生活不会因你对它不满意而变好，但改变自己，就会发现，世界并没有想象的那么不好，甚至从中能获得惊喜。他不认为改变自己就丧失了什么，说不定改变的是本来就错误的。这不是向社会屈服，而是按符合生活真谛的道路走。 以前认为怎么活很重要，其实这错了，无论怎么活，都要以一个积极乐观、不慌不忙、沉下心的态度面对，就像喝酒的人，喝什么酒无所谓，十块和一千块的酒都能喝得津津有味，品出乐趣和享受过程才是最重要的，并不是直奔主题--醉--这只会让自己难受。 音乐作为一门艺术，它本身仅仅是生活这门艺术的一部分，后者更值得去用心对待。 此时，何小兵能敞开心扉地享受阳光、食物了，像和了一把牌，结清了所有债务，一身轻松地离开了麻将桌。他带着这种美妙的感受，进入了一种现实和虚幻交织的状态中。 “你晚上吃什么啊？”夏雨果披散着湿漉漉的头发踢醒何小兵。 何小兵缓过神，回忆了一下刚才听到了什么，说：“你想吃什么我就吃什么。” “那咱俩出去转转吧！”夏雨果说。 "Walk!" 此后的几天，何小兵总是提醒夏雨果该吃饭了，然后问夏雨果想吃什么，他就带着夏雨果出去吃或者给她买回来。除此之外，天热的时候他还提醒夏雨果注意防晒，天阴的时候提醒夏雨果出门带伞，天黑的时候提醒夏雨果该休息了，天亮的时候，敲门提醒夏雨果该起床了。 终于，夏雨果也提醒了何小兵一次：“我觉得咱俩该回北京了。” 这段时间，何小兵重新认识到快乐。如果认为一座房子是快乐，那么努力工作十年，有了房子，获得了快乐。然后又认为有车是快乐，于是努力工作了两年，有了车，再次获得了快乐。接下来，觉得再有套房子会更快乐，于是又奋斗了八年，有了第二套房子。二十年里，获得了三次快乐。但是，如果把快乐的标准定义为每天能看见家人笑一次，或一起吃顿饭，那么每天都会获得快乐。但是，如果不能和家人一起吃饭看不见他们的笑，那么快乐也跟着没了。 房子再大，即使五百平米，也仅仅能拥有五厘平米，地图上也看不到，从外面看，也不过是几个窗户，而心灵的空间可以装下整个世界，没有窗户也能阳光明媚。 车再好，它的速度也是有限的，它能去的地方也是有限的，而心灵能带你穿越万水千山，没有什么可以阻挡。 家人也总有离你而去的那天，生命无常，这是不可改变的事实，心灵却能一直陪着你，伴你成长、成熟、衰老，如影随形。 只有心灵充实才是真正的快乐。除此之外，别的什么东西能定义成快乐，一旦成为快乐的所指，那么它们的消失必然导致不快乐。如果感受到心灵，快乐无处不在，晒到太阳，呼吸到新鲜空气，这本身就是一种快乐。 拉萨街头那些转经的藏民，他们住着简陋的房屋，穿着粗布的衣物，戴着并不昂贵的佩饰，但是没有人愁眉苦脸，虽然老太太的步履缓慢，却走得铿锵有力。因为他们心里是充实的。 何小兵以前认为，幸福是渴望拥有而目前无法拥有的东西，而现在他终于明白，其实幸福就是眼前。 幸福跟住多好的房子、去过多远的地方、吃过多美味的食物无关，只跟自已的内心有关。 突然间、何小兵感觉自己脑袋里的一块冰融化了，世界也变样了，重新阳光灿烂起来，他对生活的怨气顿时全无，已经不再是过去那个他了。 何小兵学会想念人了，夏雨果出去订票，刚走一会儿，何小兵就希望她赶紧回来了。 飞机上，夏雨果正一个人玩儿着拉萨买的小玩意儿，一会挂在手机上，一会儿挂在自己的鼻子上，然后又挂在何小兵的耳朵上。 “好玩儿吗？”何小兵问。 “好玩儿！”夏雨果干脆的回答道。 玩累了，夏雨果又盯着窗外飘过的云朵发呆，然后突然笑了。 “笑什么呢？”何小兵问。 “想舞蹈动作呢！”夏雨果说。 何小兵不解：“你也没音乐啊，根据什么想啊。” “我心里有音乐。” “你跳一个我看看。” “不跳。” "why?" “还没想好呢，你把我的音乐打断了！讨厌！” 夏雨果总能让何小兵感受到属于她的那种简单的快乐。何小兵觉得过去几年里，自己想的太多了，他很羡慕夏雨果，能像个普通人那样，或者像个孩了那样，不让自己太累，只干好眼前的事儿，但他又似乎无法做到那样。 飞机上的电视开始播许节目，是一场欧冠球赛，比寒的球队里有何小兵曾经的偶像，所以他看得投入。那名熟识的球员，当年不可一世，豪情万丈，现在却过不了一个二十岁的无名小将，屡屡被断。以前他的身上像有一股魔力，无论什么情况下都能让球滚进球门，现在却使多大的劲儿都进不去，只能干着急。多年前，他是抢手货，创转会费纪录，现在已经沦为潜补，接不住队友的传球，眼看着球离自己越来越远能鼓掌示意队友传的球好了，眼睛里少了凶悍，多了从容，这个赛季过后，他就得自己找东家了。虽然很残酷，但不可避免，没有谁能一辈子飞奔在球场上。 何小兵想起信徒们在大昭寺门前磕长头的情景，突然意识到，人类面临的最大问题就是恐惧。住好房子，是对寒冷、潮湿、风沙的恐惧；研发科技，是对愚昧落后的恐惧；医学进步，是对生老病死的恐惧；嫌时间过得快，是对失去的恐惧；磕长头，是对灵魂的恐惧。但即使做再大的努力，这些恐惧的事情，依然会豪不留情地发生，相比之下，别的生物，比如一棵树，一只鸟，一匹马，一头牦牛，它们的一生并没有在为消除恐惧而努力，他们在自然天成地生存着，从这一点看，它们是否是比人类更具智慧或者说是更高级的生物呢？ 何小兵飞机上睡着，做了一个梦，梦见自己刚十九岁，背着一把吉他走在老家的街上，一个面目模糊的人站在他面前，跟他说：“如果你想去北京，就现在去，等你到了三十岁，再想离开这里去北京，就出不去了，只能在这里一直待到死。” “为什么，想去北京，买张票不就随时去了吗？”何小兵在梦里对着话。 那人笑了笑：“票是好买，但是用不了多久，你就得买回程票了，而你现在走，只需要一张单程票。” “那我现在就去买票。”何小兵说。 “记住了，搞艺术是一件很寂寞的事情，你得有这个准备，在北京活一年，比在老家活一辈子辛苦，也许你能获得幸福，也许比在老家生活得更惨。” 梦里十九岁的何小兵竟然听懂了这番话的意思，握着说话人的手，一劲儿地感谢，而那个人却突然不见了。 夏雨果把何小兵叫醒，北京到了。 何小兵睁开眼，看着北京的土地，回味着刚才的梦，回味着这九年里的生活，恍惚了起来。 出了机场，眼睛的景象已跟几个小时前完全不一样，人、环境、气候、话语都变了。人各有命，只能顺乎天意地活着，但生活本质的东西是一样的。 北京是一个多元化的城市，哪里的人都有，什么样的人都有，说什么话的人都有，办什么事儿的人都有，穿什么样的人也都有。以前何小兵非常厌恶自己审美范围外的审美，现在他学会接受和尊重他人的审美了，毕竟每个人都有自己独特的权利。 街上的那些陌生人不再显得那么不可爱，何小兵从心里有了一种想亲近他们的渴望，他想起了一首歌的歌词：一觉醒来 我依然是过去的模样 背一副轻松的行囊 穿一件朴素的衣裳 风轻轻吹过我的脸上 我能感觉 我在飞翔