Chapter 6 5. The Beginning of Happiness

At 8:30pm on September 11, 2011, I arrived at Chengdu Airport. As soon as I walked out of the gate, I saw an old man holding a wooden sign with four large characters on it: "Happy Journey". Around the sign, group members who had just arrived stood in twos and threes. In this temporary tour group, besides me, there was also a single girl who just graduated from university. Her eyes stared like owls, and she was tall and tall. Thin, with short hair, looking like a boy from behind. In addition to the two of us traveling alone, there is also a group of photographers, three men and two women, with 5D cameras hanging around their necks, each carrying backpacks the size of body bags, jackets, hiking boots, and some backpacks There was actually a line of military shovels hanging behind them, all of them with stern and silent faces, not like going on a trip, but more like going to rob a tomb.

In addition to this photography assault group, there is also a terrible group in our travel group, the nightmare of group travel, the nemesis of traveling abroad, that is-big sister, group. A friend of mine who works as a travel agency once summarized the ranking of the most annoying big sister groups in travel: first place: American big sister group, second place: Korean big sister group, third place: Taiwan big sister group. The American Big Sisters are disgusting people, the main nausea is visually, they are all fat, with big breasts and fat buttocks, a group of American Big Sisters crossed the square, just like a herd of elephants slowly crossing the grassland, and the air density around them was tense for a while Yes, psychologically it feels like all the butter in the world is starting to melt.

The Korean big sister group is disgusting, mainly because Koreans may have half the blood of aliens, so they can't get along well with other earthlings. Even if they are traveling, the Korean big sisters are all wearing flowered shirts uniformly. Wearing a white-brimmed hat and a pair of ragged white gloves, it looks like they have just been dragged from the pickle scene to the scenic spot, but the Korean elder sisters are not noisy, at most, after entering the store, A group of people yelled "Yaobu ​​(husband)!" in unison, as if their buttocks had been touched collectively, and it was shocking.

The biggest feature of Taiwan’s big sister group is that they are noisy, and no matter where they are on vacation, they have to dress up as if they are going to Mauritius to bask in the sun. They keep their cameras in their hands throughout the whole process, and they take pictures non-stop. When taking pictures, they have a calm face , holding Hua'er and looking at the sky with a smile on his face, his belly tightened, but after the photo was taken, he had to grab the camera to check it again, and immediately after the photo was taken, he had to take another photo again: "Oops! There is a pillar behind my head blocking this photo!" Take a photo—check—take a photo again—find the next photo spot, this is Taiwan Big Sisters.

I went to the sign that said "Happy Journey" and reported my arrival. A younger-looking elder sister in the elder sister group came over impatiently: "Now we are all here, can we go?" The old man holding the "Journey of Happiness" wooden sign re-counted the people numbly, then shook his head: "There is still one left, you go to the car and wait." We walked out of the airport with our suitcases, and saw a van that should have been scrapped ten years ago, with four crumpled words on it. , shabby temperament and thick greasy dirt on the windows, I think it is more appropriate to paste the words "dead end" on the car body.

As soon as we waited in the car, all of us waited for nearly two hours. During these two hours, I huddled in the stuffy back compartment of the van, listening to the people from the donkey group test the walkie-talkie: "Test, one! two! three! Test, one! two! three!" "Xiao Fei , Xiaofei, report your location to me, over." "Aguan, Aguan, I'm right behind you, over." At the end, everyone became a little anxious. An older lady opened the car door and began to curse: "What's going on? Why don't you go back to the hotel? Why don't you rest? It's twelve o'clock, and you have to come at five o'clock in the morning." On a plane!"

In the middle of scolding, the uncle who picked up the plane rushed over with a person: "Everyone is here! Let's go!" A young boy was stuffed into the car, and the seats were almost full, so the boy had to squeeze beside me. Before I had time to look at him, there was a strong smell of alcohol in the car. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" The man stood up with a confused face, and began to bow to us. In the low carriage, there were three bangs—his head hit the roof of the car. , Every time I bow, I bump when I get up. "Thinking, thinking about taking an early flight, I couldn't stand my buddy's persuasion, saying that I won't see you for more than ten days, what's the matter, what's the matter, I have to have a meal before leaving. After eating, I delayed the plane and changed it temporarily. sign……"

I co-authored this drunken two hundred and five because I missed the plane because I had a big drink with my friends, so we made us wait for so long. A cloud of "going out is not good enough to meet idiots" rose in the carriage. The uncle who picked up the plane pressed the man on the seat forcefully, and taught him a lesson in Chengdu dialect: "You son of a bitch, I have the nerve to shout after being dragged down. I'll ask you again. Your name is Wang Can, right?" Bar?" The gay man named Wang Can nodded drunkenly. The van finally started, pulling us, who were full of resentment, towards the hotel.

At this time, it was very late at night in Chengdu, and there were almost no cars on the road, only our broken bread, with four strange characters on it, was driving on the expressway in a clear and foggy manner. This guy named Wang Can fell asleep after driving the car for a long time. Halfway through the car, Wang Can suddenly woke up, squinted his eyes, and poked the little girl sitting on the right: "Hey, give me a piece of cake!" Hot towels." The girl was stunned for a moment, and actually agreed: "Okay, just wait a moment." The girl opened the car window, unscrewed a bottle of mineral water, took out a towel from her bag, wet it, and handed it to Wang Can.

Wang Can closed his eyes, covered his face with a towel, and immediately pulled it off unhappily: "I need a hot towel!" There was silence in the carriage, we all stared at Wang Can, who was drunk and crazy, and the passionate girl who gave love to the idiot. Ahead, and then without knowing why, he turned his head and fixed his eyes on me. During the time when the four eyes met, I was really a little nervous. The last time I was stared at by a man for such a long time was two years ago. Then Wang Can said: "What kind of airline is this? Damn the stewardess looks so ugly."

...The van continued to drive forward, carrying a car full of titters, Wang Can who was sleeping soundly again, and me with a stiff expression. This is how the journey of happiness begins.