Chapter 16 Section 15

Liu Weizu took a taxi to the emergency department of the hospital, but he saw that it was deserted inside and out, as if nothing had happened. He went in and inquired with the concierge, only to find out that Jiadong had been transferred to the Department of Surgery. "Is the child's life in danger?" "How do I know if his life is in danger? I'm not a doctor." The gatekeeper was too busy arranging the cards on the table to lift his head. If it was normal, Liu Weizu would definitely contradict him a few words, but today he turned around and walked out silently without saying a word.He felt that the whole world changed in an instant.Too fast for him to accept it.And he himself was reshaped from head to toe in this shocking upheaval. He felt as if something like a softener had been injected into his blood, and he was accustomed to resisting and deliberate with others. The vigor of fighting against him suddenly disappeared.The whole person, from the inside to the outside, seemed to have been completely reborn, and felt embraced by a touching tenderness.

Will Jiadong be his son?He actually has a son!In this vast, desolate and cold world, how incredible is it that someone came from him?And he, Liu Weizu, deliberately fooled and destroyed the only person who belonged to him. Now this person has fallen in his conspiracy, and he doesn't know whether he is dead or alive!He, Liu Weizu, is so cruel that he doesn't love anyone, and he doesn't feel the burden of doing evil. Does he really have no "humanity" as he himself thinks?Can humanity really be separated from the human body? ... The Department of Surgery was a long walk from the Emergency Department, and Liu Weizu walked alone on the street with few people.Under the beautiful street lamps lined up in a row, his shadow was drawn into a long and slender line, and it was reflected alone on the stone floor.

For years, tears had been a foreign thing to him, from the moment he decided to let go of his old self and everything he owned.He never sheds tears himself, and he hates tears from others. No tears can move him.However, at this moment, his tears are as endless as the spring water of the Naka River, and one batch after another is wiped away.why cry?Where do tears come from?He couldn't answer at all, he just felt that there were too many tears to pour out, and no amount of effort could hold them back.He just shed tears at first, and gradually turned into whimpering.Finally, when he passed under the high wall of a building, he finally howled uncontrollably.His cries were high and sharp, and the pain and grievances were mixed with primitive sadness.In the boundless night, on the streets where few people walk, it sounds a bit like the howling of wolves in the barren mountains and snowy fields in the movie.

Liu Weizu was crying, when a person came from nowhere, that person approached him and patted his shoulder. "Hey! Why are you crying like this? What's the matter?" Liu Weizu raised his head and found a kind old man standing in front of him.The old man looked at him attentively, his eyes swept from head to toe. "Oh, it turned out to be an oriental man. You look very young! Are you a student here? Or did you travel here? What difficulties have you encountered? Tell me, maybe I can help you." The old man said kindly. "I..." Liu Weizu wiped away the tears beside the bridge of his nose, and slowly returned to calm. "Thank you, good old gentleman. You can't help me, no one can, not even myself."

"Really? Is your situation so serious? Listen to you, you are a very romantic person! Romantic people inevitably have a lot of sad things. I was also very poetic when I was young, and I planned to die for love! Hehe, life is Like this, sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad. It’s a bit like playing basketball. You have to catch the ball as it comes. Are you thinking of dying for love?" The old man seemed to be joking and serious. "Don't worry, I won't. I don't have the courage, and there is no one worthy of me doing that for him." Liu Weizu has recovered his calm, and his words and expressions have returned to their usual indifference and arrogance.

"Really? Well, then I'm relieved. Young man, cherish your life. You only live like this. You'd be a fool if you live unhappy. Goodbye." The pace went.After walking for a short distance, I turned back and asked, "Do you have a home? Is there a place to go?" "Oh, I—" Liu Weizu has always hated people asking him "Do you have a family?" Whenever he encounters such a question, he always answers decisively without even thinking: "No, nothing. No." At this moment, he actually felt that he couldn't answer that way, and he couldn't find a proper explanation why he couldn't.He pondered for a moment, then raised his voice to the old man:

"I have a family, I have many relatives, don't worry about me!" The old man seemed very satisfied with this sentence, waved to him, said "good luck", and disappeared around the corner of the street. A bitter cry, like the surging water of a spring river, broke loose the ice of Liu Weizu's chest that had been pent up with resentment and hatred for many years, and a gentle warm current was slowly flowing in from those cracks. He was thinking about Jiadong, guessing the possible consequences, and those assumptions made him feel frightened, worried, anxious, and at a loss for what to do.

This feeling is enough for him, for a long time, Liu Weizu never cared about anyone, including himself.Now, the secret is only revealed for Zhuang Jing, just because the family building is his flesh and blood, he has changed unknowingly and unwillingly, and those things that he abandoned and resisted for a long time also disappeared silently. came back. "Alas, Liu Weizu, wandering, you are wasting your efforts. You have worked so hard for so many years, and you just want to abandon yourself. Now it proves that you are in vain." He chuckled in his heart and said to himself. When Liu Weizu arrived at the Department of Surgery, he turned to the corridor from the elevator when he saw Zhuang Jing and Tan Yunliang at the other end of the corridor.They heard footsteps and instinctively turned their heads at the same time.When they found out that it was him, their faces were covered with a layer of frost, and their eyes were so cold that he shivered. Even though they were far away, his feeling was real and profound.He was about to greet them when they turned their faces at the same time and entered a large glass door on the side.

The corridor was extremely quiet, only the sound of Liu Weizu's footsteps and the strong smell of alcohol. Liu Weizu looked at the writing on the big glass door and knew that it contained the surgery room, laboratory, diagnosis room, and the offices of the attending physician and the on-duty physician. "Who are you looking for? No one is allowed to enter this place. Didn't you see the words on the door?" Before Liu Weizu could enter the glass door, a middle-aged nurse in white clothes and a white hat came up to block him. "Oh! I—" Liu Weizu didn't want to lie to her that he hadn't seen the movie "No Entry for Idlers", so he just hummed and hesitated. "I want to know the situation of Tan Jiadong. Is he undergoing surgery?"

"Tan Jiadong, yes, that is the Chinese kid who got into an accident on a motorcycle. He is undergoing surgery." "I wonder if his life is in danger?" "No one can answer your question. As nurses, even if we know it, we can't talk casually. This is a matter of responsibility." The nurse had a straight face, with a businesslike air. "Who are you from Tan Jiadong?" She asked again. "I am—" Liu Weizu suddenly realized that this question was not easy to answer. "I'm a friend of his parents." He thought for a while before saying.

"It turned out to be a friend. He hasn't finished his operation yet, so he doesn't know what's going on. It's still early for his friend to visit! You'd better contact Tan Jiadong's parents first, and come back in a few days. You are not allowed in now." .” The nurse was stern and law-abiding, with no room for flexibility in her tone. Liu Weizu was anxious and disappointed, and said unconvinced: "Why can't I go in and wait for the results? Did I just see Mr. Tan and Mrs. Tan come in!" "Oh?" The nurse put her hands into the pockets on both sides of her white dress, and raised her face slightly: "Mr. Tan and Mrs. Tan are the parents of Tan Jiadong. Who are you?" Liu Weizu didn't expect the nurse to speak so straightforwardly, he was stunned for a moment, and was about to teach her a few words, when a man in his fifties, with a kind face, who looked like a doctor, happened to come out of it.He immediately threw off the nurse, went up to him and said: "Are you a doctor in the surgical ward? I am Tan Jiadong's surrogate father, and I am very, very concerned about him. Has he finished the operation? Where is the injury? Is there any danger? Did he hit a car?" The doctor looked at Liu Weizu, and seeing that he was really concerned, he said kindly: "Fortunately he didn't hit the car, he hit the bridge railing himself and fell under. He got hurt in a few places, but it didn't matter. The operation was on the leg, his left shin bone was broken—" "Oh? Broken?" Liu Weizu's heart twitched heavily. "Yeah, it's broken, but it doesn't matter, kid! Heals quickly, and they often break their legs when skiing in winter. After three months, they can go out and run alive again. Don't worry." The doctor squeezed his eyes and smiled optimistically. "After this big fall, he will know to be careful in the future." After the doctor left, Liu Weizu still stood there in a daze, unable to move for a long time.A dream-like brilliance appeared on his face, and he thought to himself: "Jiadong is my child, he is not in danger, he will not die, he will fully recover in three months, and he will go out alive and well—" He was so sad and happy that he wanted to kneel on the ground, "Thank you for the god who believed in and protected Jiadong—he almost believed that there was such a god in heaven and earth that covered the entire universe, if he hadn't protected Jiadong..." "You are not honest at all." Liu Weizu was awakened from his meditation by these words.It turned out to be the nurse.With a sullen face and contempt in her expression, she repeated again: "You are not honest at all. You just told me that you are a friend of the Tan family, and told Dr. Lao Wei that you are the surrogate father of Tan Jiadong. Are you Who? You're not being honest at all." Liu Weizu didn't bother to contradict her, so he left the hospital in silence.It was late at night, the moon was hanging high in the sky, and there was no pedestrian around.He wandered blindly in the street, and asked himself in the nurse's words: "Who are you..." After spending most of the night on the street, Liu Weizu returned to his residence.When I entered the room, I put on my big leather shoes and leaned on the bed, smoking one cigarette after another.Surrounded by light smoke, those past events that were deeply etched in his memory were turning clearly and vividly in front of his eyes like a revolving lantern.Those things and those people made him disappointed with the whole world, made him feel resentful and ashamed of being a human being, made him ruthlessly abandon everything, fled from the world of mortals, and became a homeless vagabond wandering around the world ,until today.What's ridiculous is that because of Zhuang Jing's words, not only the self-made world of this homeless man has changed, but even the logic, consciousness, and philosophy he deeply believes in have been fundamentally shaken. "Tragedy, this is a tragedy, and it's also a ridiculous and sad prank." He said to himself. "Who is behind this tragedy and mischief?" he asked.I really want to find the conspirator and use his philosophy of revenge against him. When Liu Weizu found out that the stupid "conspirator" turned out to be himself, his sorrow deepened.He used to bend the corners of his mouth downwards, very hard, as if trying to press out all the depression and regret. Liu Weizu didn't know when he fell asleep. When he woke up, he found a big hole in the pillow burned by cigarettes, and the small clock on the bedside table pointed to one o'clock in the afternoon. His first realization after waking up was: "I am a man with a son, and Jiadong is my son." His feeling was very strange, joyful, and more bitter. He thought he had to go to the hospital quickly, he had to know if Jiadong's injury had changed, he had to take a look at him, and he had to take a close look at him. He also suddenly understood, no wonder Jiadong liked to be close to him from the very beginning, and trusted him wholeheartedly, it turned out to be subconscious out of nature.The hearts of father and son are closely connected, no wonder he felt so familiar when he first saw Jiadong, as if he saw him every day.At that time, he thought he looked like Zhuang Jing, but now he realized that Jiadong's facial features and expressions were quite similar to those of the Liu family, like his grandmother, father, mother, and maybe even more like himself.The so-called blood relationship is so wonderful and tenacious, no matter how long or far away they are separated, they will not disappear. Grandma, father, and mother are all clown-like characters in his mind, and their images are ugly.He had long since refused to love them.Naturally, any relationship such as family and blood relationship was completely denied by him.He is sure that he will not love anyone sincerely, and he can see clearly that no one will truly love him. In his impression, the relationship between people is ugly. But at this moment, he truly felt that he loved Jiadong, and also felt that Jiadong loved him, sincerely loved him - otherwise Jiadong would not trust him so much.Not to accept his thoughts and every word so unquestioningly. He was deeply moved by this feeling, and then he had an idea to keep him.He is determined to fight for the support of Jiadong. If Jiadong is by his side, everything will slowly recover. Maybe he will give up his wandering life, and for his son, he will try to be a very progressive "person" in this society he despises.Yes, in order for Jiadong to live a more stable and happy life, he can do that. The problem is that Jiadong's mind has been washed almost by him.How can a child who sees the world so clearly, so worthless, and as gray as a wasteland be as confused and happy as before? Liu Weizu's troubles and doubts deepened. He asked himself: "The same principle, why doesn't it apply to my son?" After much deliberation, he realized that the person who untied the bell had to tie the bell. Anyway, Jiadong trusted him! Because of yesterday's experience, to prevent the nurses from judging people by their clothes, Liu Weizu shaved and changed his clothes again, vowing to see Jiadong today. Ancestor Liu Wei bought two new disco records and a box of high-quality chocolate candies on the street before going to the hospital. After asking the visiting time and the ward number of the family building, he went straight in. Walk. "Hello, may I ask your surname?" Liu Weizu was knocking on the door when he was stopped by a little nurse rushing over.The nurse blocked the door with a nervous expression. "My name is Liu Weizu. I'm here to visit Tan Jiadong. He...he..." Judging by the nurse's expression, he couldn't help being suspicious. Did Jiadong's injury get worse? "Are you Mr. Liu Weizu? I'm very sorry. Mr. Tan and Mrs. Tan have confessed that they don't want Mr. Liu to visit patients." The nurse stared at her big blue eyes and didn't save him at all. Liu Weizu felt somewhat embarrassed, and was not in the mood to pretend he didn't care. He stroked his mustache and shrugged his shoulders. He hesitated for a moment, and asked sullenly: "Why can't I visit patients?" After asking, he realized how stupid and ridiculous this was. "How do I know? You have to ask Mr. Tan and Mrs. Tan yourself." The nurse didn't show any weakness, she was eloquent. "Is Mrs. Tan here now? Please call her out and say I want to see her. " "Okay! Wait, I'll tell Mrs. Tan." The nurse seemed afraid that he would follow in, and closed the door as soon as she entered the room.After a while, she came out and blocked the door again as before. "No, Mrs. Tan said she doesn't want to see you. I can't help, I'm sorry." She smiled apologetically, and said the truth after laughing: "Please go! I have something to do! I can't grow old Guard the door here." "Hmph," Liu Weizu was dizzy with anger.If it was a few days ago, he would have grabbed the back of the little nurse's neck and kissed her heavily, and asked her after kissing, "Will you let me in? If not, I will kiss again." He has always used this method to punish arrogant, serious, and self-conscious women.But today he didn't think of doing that at all, even though he hated the little nurse's gloating face, he refused to do that. "The child, I mean Jiadong, do you know I'm outside?" Liu Weizu asked.He really wanted to know if Jiadong, who had a car accident, had any change in his feelings for him? "The kid? It seems like he wants to see you. It's a pity he's still a kid, and he has to listen to his parents—" "Jiadong wants to see me? I—please get out of the way, I want to go in." Hearing that Jiadong wanted to see him, Liu Weizu's cold heart warmed up again. "I must see him." "I'm sorry, the patient doesn't want to see you, we can't just let you in." The little nurse said stubbornly, standing at the door like a rock. "You're just their friend, so let's just forget about it if they don't want to see you! Why bother with it forever." "Friend—" Liu Weizu chewed on these two words, and said with forgetfulness: "I am not their friend, I am—" Before he could say anything, he was interrupted by a call. "Consolation ancestor." Liu Weizu followed the voice and saw Wang Hongjun walking hurriedly with a leather bag.Wang Hongjun's face was solemn and deep, as if he was facing some serious difficulty.Contrary to his usual cheerful and cheerful. "Weizu, I'm here just for you." Wang Hongjun said seriously. "For me? How do you know I'm here?" "I have clairvoyance! What's more, it's only one building away." Wang Hongjun tried his best to speak easily, but he still couldn't really relax. "It was the Tan family who called me." "Oh, so they called for help!" Liu Weizu didn't take it seriously. "You're too much of a threat to them! They have to call for help." Wang Hongjun said to the little nurse, "Go! It's none of your business." "Goodbye, Doctor Wang!" The little nurse went away as if she had been pardoned. "It's fine if you come, just follow me in to see the house." Liu Weizu wanted to push the door again. "Weizu, I have something to tell you, how about going out to the tavern?" Wang Hongjun, like the nurse just now, also blocked the door. "I have to see Jiadong before going." Liu Weizu said stubbornly. "You know, they are afraid that you will see Jiadong. In fact, if you see Jiadong, it will only make the situation worse." Wang Hongjun paused for a while, and then said: "Your matter, yesterday Tan My wife told me." "I told you?" Liu Weizu was surprised. "Tan Yunliang is here?" "Also at the side. Wei Zu, they are a pair of good people who have nothing to do with the world. Haven't you hurt them enough? I think you should restrain yourself and don't see Jiadong!" Wang Hongjun rubbed his hands , pondered: "The concepts you instilled in Jiadong have already made him fall deeply. Now his parents are enlightening him, trying to make him return to the way he was before, and free him from those dangerous thoughts. They I'm also afraid that Jiadong knows the real relationship with you, so he doesn't want you to see Jiadong again. I think you can forget it for the time being! Let's go, let's go to the beer hall." Wang Hongjun said while pushing Liu Weizu to the direction of the elevator.Liu Weizu didn't raise any further objections or resistance, and got into the elevator with Wang Hongjun. It is the time when the hospital is off work, and there are many people coming in and out.Wang Hongjun is very popular and everyone knows him. He said "goodbye" to this one and "hello" to that one.Liu Weizu turned a blind eye to everything in front of him, and fell back into that lonely world that belonged to him. That world was desolate, cold, and gray, and he couldn't see anyone except his lonely figure. The beer hall hadn't been taken yet and was almost empty. Liu Weizu and Wang Hongjun sat in their old seats in the corner and each ordered a glass of half-liter beer. "Old Wang, I am determined to fight for Jiadong at any cost." Liu Weizu swallowed a mouthful of beer, and put the glass on the table with one sound, all the determination came out of that sound. "You want to fight for Jiadong? You mean, you want him to admit that you are his father?" Wang Hongjun asked suspiciously. "I was his father in the first place. He can't admit the true blood relationship. He is the flesh and blood of the Liu family, so his surname should be Liu. What's the matter with the surname Tan?" "You also have such a concept? You also value this relationship? I can't think of it." Ancestor Liu Wei kept silent with his face down, and then hesitatingly said: "What's unexpected? I'm also a human being, and I'm Chinese. Chinese people always pay attention to human relationships." "Oh?" Wang Hongjun's tone was still suspicious. "It's really not like what you said. I remember that you look down on this kind of relationship. Aren't you thinking of taking revenge on Zhuang Jing again? If you are, I advise you not to. You have done enough, And Zhuang Jing is not guilty, but you are the one who is guilty." He couldn't restrain his agitation, and his words were not embellished. "Weizu, you and I used to be good friends. You helped me a lot. I still value this friendship to this day, so I criticize you unceremoniously. Of course, in your heart, a person like me is just a big It is worthless to be stupid, silly and happy. Maybe you don’t care about my thoughts at all and hate my criticism. But whether you are happy or unhappy, accept it or not, I still have to say what I want to say. If our friendship is true There is nothing I can do about it because I offended you." Wang Hongjun took two sips of beer, and continued: "Don't you think I'm a nice man, don't you? Now I don't want to." "Oh——" Liu Weizu supported his chin with one hand, and the corners of his mouth were bent down in frustration. "Say, what are you going to say?" "I said, if I were you, I would leave Heidelberg immediately, let the Tan family resume a quiet life, and let Zhuang Jing and her husband re-educate their children—" "Jiadong is my child." Liu Weizu interrupted Wang Hongjun impulsively. "Okay, even if Jiadong is your child, you should think about his future, right? You have destroyed his respect for his parents. His mind is full of your philosophy of life, and he thinks that including his parents All the people inside are equally selfish, hypocritical, and stupid, thinking that the world is ugly and hopeless. Wei Zu, you have already destroyed and polluted a child’s heart, and this child But your own son—” "Don't say any more, I know all about it." Liu Weizu murmured in pain, holding his head in his hands. "Don't think I'm so heartless. My pain is so deep that you normal people can't understand it." "I believe you are in great pain. Therefore, I advise you to end the pain, abandon the past, and leave Heidelberg." "Leave with the house?" "If you don't bring Jiadong, you have to give up the idea of ​​fighting for Jiadong. First, you can't do this in terms of human relations. Doing so will completely ruin the chance of Jiadong's possible improvement. Second, you can't stand up in legal terms. Hold on, Zhuang Jing can deny that Jiadong is your child, and you can't produce any evidence. So, Wei Zu, you have to leave alone like when you came." Wang Hongjun said seriously. "Leaving alone? Or alone? Alone forever? Old Wang, to tell you the truth, I have nothing. Now suddenly I have Jiadong, he is my hope. I have done wrong in the past, I want to make up for it -" "Why are you alone? You have a family, parents, younger sister, and you can marry a wife and have children. If you reject them, you will naturally be alone forever." Wang Hongjun interjected. "People who are awakened from a good dream can no longer continue to live in the dream to deceive themselves. Old Wang, you know, I am full of trauma—" "Really? I think you like to cause trauma to others." "Oh...you mean about the Tan family?" "It's not just Tan Yunliang's family. At that time, to Lin Bi, you were true to her, she was sincere, but you left without saying goodbye, what is it? How embarrassing for Lin Bi, how embarrassing for Lin Bi Breaking her heart." Wang Hongjun brought up the old incident again and complained.Liu Weizu seemed a little ashamed when he heard this, but after thinking about it, he said leisurely: "When a man and a woman date and talk about love, it's about each other. If the wisher takes the bait, there's no question of responsibility. Didn't Lin Bi get married and have children to be his wife?" "Do you know that Lin Bi has waited for you for several years, and married her current American husband in despair when she saw that you really wouldn't come back?" "How do you know she is 'waiting' for me?" Liu Weizu started to argue out of habit. "She told Xu Conghui herself. Also, if you think that the love between men and women is the bait of the willing, and there is no responsibility, then why do you hate Zhuang Jing? Weizu, you shouldn't just ask others to specifically Forgive yourself." Wang Hongjun said mercilessly. "Hmm..." Liu Weizu was dejected, but still felt full of grievances. "Old Wang, it's not that I forgive myself, but a person whose life is broken——" "Stop talking about your broken life in the past, the past is gone! Build a new one! Go back and love your family, your parents, and live a normal life." "How did it start? You know, my situation..." Liu Weizu paused as he spoke, his expression extremely painful.After a long while, he stammered again: "Old Wang, do you know? Ten years ago, after I went back to Taiwan to find out about my life experience, I went to Hong Kong to find my biological mother. She... she gave me the impression Too...too...Old Wang, let me tell you the truth! My mother was a prostitute..." He began to cry as he spoke. "Oh..." Wang Hongjun was slightly shocked. "Tell me, in such a situation, how can I forgive them and love them?" "Weizu, no one is perfect in the world, and no one's life is 100% perfect. Being a human being is not an easy task. If you can't forgive your father, can you still expect Jiadong to forgive you? You almost ruined his life. As for the mother, Wei Zu, let me tell you, a mother is a mother, you have her blood and flesh on your body, no matter whether she has been a dancer, a restaurant girl or a prostitute, you cannot say that she is not you mother." "Old Wang, I admit that your words are correct. A mother is a mother. To be honest, if I can be too selfless, I won't suffer like this." Liu Weizu has gradually turned calm, slowly Tun Tun said.His tone was dull and bitter, not at all like his usual bright and sharp tone. "But it's so hard, so hard! Think about it, even if I don't care what my mother has done? I can't get close to her, because there is that red shirt next to her—" "What? Red shirt?" Wang Hongjun couldn't understand. "It's the man she lived with. That man always wears a red shirt, and his nickname is also called the red shirt. When my father abandoned my mother, my mother was seduced by this guy. For more than 30 years, this red shirt has been Eating my mother, drinking my mother, forcing my mother into prostitution, it is extremely hateful, even if I tolerate my mother, I cannot tolerate that red shirt, I think he is scarier than the executioner." Liu Weizu said while drinking beer.For many years, he has kept these shady family affairs in his heart. For a long time, the backlog has become a melancholy and resentment, loss of loss and complete disappointment.He has been trying to get rid of those people and things by their roots, denying the flesh-and-blood relationship between them, sometimes he can do this, but sometimes he can't think of them by himself, he is tortured by this conflicting emotion , sometimes depressed, sometimes sad, sometimes resentful.He has never been so happy as today, and he has confided his heart so frankly to others without reservation. "Hey, have another drink." Liu Weizu greeted the bartender at the counter. "Ah, old Wang, the truth is so, what do you think I can do?" "Why is there no way? If your mother has no feelings for that red shirt, you can help her get rid of that guy, and then take care of your mother. If your mother doesn't want to leave him, you have to find a way to make him change his face and be a decent person However, in my opinion, your mother hates him, is afraid, or dare not provoke him. If you stand up and stand behind your mother, she may not be willing to be bullied by him anymore. In short, you Giving up, self-suffering, pulling away. It’s not right to leave her alone, or even deny that she is your mother.” Wang Hongjun enthusiastically gave advice, his round face flushed with excitement. "Oh, that's your idea?" Liu Weizu hesitated. "Yeah, that's my idea. If it were me, I'd do it." "Then what about my father?" Liu Weizu smiled helplessly. "To be honest, I have been forcing myself to forget my father these years, but it is also very difficult to do. I often think of him, and sometimes we ask ourselves, thinking that he should be considered a good father, at least he is trying to do better. In my conscience, he is good to me. But every time I think of his abandonment of my mother from beginning to end, today he still refuses to admit his mistakes, and even puts on a gentleman face, I get angry and feel that nothing can forgive him "Liu Weizu lowered his head and pondered for a while, and then said: "Also, I can't bear their deceit. For example, my grandfather is obviously an outdated warlord. Apart from plundering countless ill-gotten gains, it can be said that he did nothing. What an astonishing thing happened. But the whole family wanted to respect him as a god, made his image on a big white horse as big as half of the wall, hung his long knife on the wall, and kept telling me to follow him. Grandmother is a domineering and authoritarian old woman, and our mother and child were separated by her. But she is the ancestor of the family, so I have to be filial to her, what's the reason for that?" He got excited again as he spoke, stroking his beard for a while, then Will compare gestures. "You say, isn't this hypocrisy, isn't this lying with staring eyes? You say, why am I not disappointed in life? What is the truth in this world? Hmm? Tell me?" He slapped the table vigorously, All the drinkers were taken aback, and some turned to look at them. "Brother, Weizu, why are you living in the past forever and can't get out? Your grandparents belong to history, not to the present. People like you and me, if you don't look forward, you will always have bad luck. Doesn’t the more you drill, the darker you get, the more hopeless you are?” Wang Hongjun said calmly and patiently. "Looking forward, what is attractive in the front? There is hypocrisy, deceit, and unfairness everywhere. What is worth my efforts for? You're a fool and happy." Liu Weizu's thin face was covered with the usual gloom. "You're here again." Wang Hongjun sighed with a smile. "According to you, what do we do if we don't be silly and happy? Are we all going to wander or become monks, or are we all going to commit suicide? Life is a total of decades, which is very short, but it is still worth our efforts. Even if it is For the sake of our children! This price is worth it, not to mention that the meaning of life is not so narrow, we don’t want this world to stop, we always hope that this world will progress, and each generation will live a better life. Isn’t it? Then we have to be happy Be a fool and be happy! According to your theory, it seems that life has no meaning at all, and you should try to make human beings extinct—” "I don't think so." Liu Weizu interrupted to defend. "Hey! People are so bad, life is so meaningless, and life is so hard. Why do we have to create humans from generation to generation? It's so troublesome. Wouldn't it be easier to simply exterminate the species?" Wang Hongjun said sharply, comparing his hands. "However, even you don't agree with the extermination of human beings. Why don't you agree? Wei Zu, let me tell you, even human beings are still alive. Like me, I am an obstetrician, and I have to take a few babies every day. I clearly know that. The crying little thing will grow old and die sooner or later. Thinking about it, isn’t this a waste of work? But, I still think this job is solemn, and that little life is sacred. Zu, let me tell you, every life is solemn and sacred, because people know this, they work hard to be truly happy, not foolishly happy—" "It's silly and happy." Liu Weizu interrupted Wang Hongjun again and said stubbornly. "Okay, let's be silly and happy." Wang Hongjun was a little uncontrollably excited, drank a big gulp of beer with a gurgle, put down his glass and tilted his head and asked, "You think that life is meaningless and not worth living seriously. Then you Answer me honestly: you admit that you love Jiadong, admit that he is the person in this world who really owes you nothing, trusts you, loves you, and is closest to you in blood. Right?" "Well, that's right." Liu Weizu nodded, and couldn't help but smile faintly. "Then, let me ask you again, would you like Jiadong to be a fool and happy? Or would you rather die, or be a hippie who takes morphine? Don't laugh, I'm not funny at all. People live Since it's worthless, why bother? How nice it is to do as you please? Hmm? Isn't it?—" Liu Weizu forced a wry smile, unable to answer for a long time.Because, not only does he hope that Jiadong will live a smooth and stable life and be a fool and happy, but he himself is willing to return to live in the society of people he despises for the sake of Jiadong, and also be a fool and happy.The real question is whether he can win the right to support Jiadong, and whether he will have the opportunity to fake happiness is unknown.However, he couldn't just admit defeat so easily. “你哟！今天的演讲可精彩得很。”刘慰祖把话题拨弄开，酒杯一推，站起身道：“我疲倦得很，想回去休息了。” “你怎么决定？还是要争取家栋？还是离开海德堡，成全那孩子做个傻快乐？”王宏俊也站起来，紧盯着问。 “家栋跟着我一样可以做傻快乐，也许做得更好。我可以为他回家去做好儿子。你想，那环境不是对他更有利吗？” “你错了。家栋跟你，就做不了傻快乐了。现在他的世界还是完整的，只不过出了一点漏子。你如果以他父亲的姿态出现，他的世界就破裂了。你是有经验的，你自己仔细考虑考虑吧！” 刘慰祖随着王宏俊走出酒馆，一路上垂头不语。王宏俊最后这几句话深深的震动着他。不错，他是有经验的，他懂得一个孩子的心灵世界是怎么样的脆弱易碎，美好的天地会怎样迅速的在一刹那间天崩地裂云黑雾暗的。 他沉默着，深深的沉默着，晚春迷人的暮色，在他眼前如荒漠一般的展开，与他心情一样的黯然。 “慰祖，人可以自私，但是不能太自私，人有时候也得牺牲一点，不然连做傻快乐也不可能。慰祖，这是我这个当朋友的劝你的最后一句话。你回去好好的想想吧！”王宏俊说完，跟他握握手，就想转身离去。 “老王，我还有句话想问问你，你有林碧的地址吗？”他握住王宏俊那只手没放。 “没有。就是有你也不必知道。”王宏俊抽出那只手，摇了两下。“人生是往前进的，后退不了的，放过去的就追不回来了。你还打听林碧的地址干什么呢？我看你还是让她过安静日子吧！”他说着转身走了，走两步又回过身道：“慰祖，如果一个人不能从过去里走出来，这个人是可怜又可悲的，他永远不会快乐。往前看吧！别总在发霉的牛犄角里打转转。”他说完径自去了。 刘慰祖愣愣的站了一会，便沿着霍普特大街，往纳卡江的方向踱去。