Chapter 12 Section 11

Tan Yunliang and Zhuang Jing were worried from the very beginning, fearing that the restaurant would not be able to open as scheduled.Because of saving face and avoiding Liu Weizu's suspicion that they interfered with his freedom, he never asked about the progress of the work.Tan Yunliang sometimes said politely: "Mr. Liu has worked hard, and he will finish it slowly, don't rush, don't be tired!" In fact, this Mr. Liu is a 100% casual and unrestrained style. He doesn't want to rush at all, let alone tire himself out. He does everything according to his own interest and convenience.When the interest came, he could draw until the next morning, when the whole of Heidelberg was asleep, and he was still standing on the ladder dabbling.When he was in a bad mood or had no intention of working, he would not take a paintbrush all day long, either lying on the bed and sleeping outside the door, or hiding in the room reading a book and smoking a cigarette. The cigarette butts in the ashtray were always piled up like a hill.Since he moved out from Wang Hongjun's house, he didn't have to refrain from smoking because he didn't want to see Elizabeth's long face.

Sometimes he would go out for a swim, take a walk along the river bank, and occasionally wander in the woods where no one was there, and set up an easel to sketch.He is no longer free, and there is almost no concept of master and servant in his heart. What he thinks is: "So what if you are the master? I think I am even more! If you find me, you will listen to me." Fortunately, Tan Yunliang was honest and honest, and Zhuang Jing couldn't bear to hurt him because of his old friendship, so he didn't want him to know; what kind of words Guo Xinzhi used to persuade Tan Yunliang before they hired him.Guo Xinzhi said:

"Mr. Tan, if you invite others, you are also paying, and if you invite this friend, you are also paying. You can just invite this friend. I think he is very poor, and his situation is very bad. You should give him the opportunity first, and how to settle him in the future. We old friends will find a way. They are all Chinese! It’s like doing a favor and paying more.” Under such circumstances they hired him, but instead he was the master, doing whatever he wanted, and the progress of the work was so slow that Tan Yunliang and his wife secretly worried.But they never put on the faces of their masters, otherwise they might have fallen out long ago.

That day Liu Weizu was in a bad mood again, and he didn't get up until after ten o'clock. After he got up, he smoked for a while, and had a big breakfast in a cafe on the street, but he just couldn't get interested in working in a restaurant.After wandering in the street for a while, he decided to go back to get his painting tools and go to sketch on the Philosophy Road. Liu Weizu set up an easel under a big tree, holding a palette in one hand and a brush in the other to smear on the canvas. "Hello, Uncle Liu." Liu Weizu was taken aback, turned his head and saw Jiadong standing beside him.

"Oh? It's you." Liu Weizu looked at Jiadong.Jiadong wore a bulging bun, jeans that stretched tight on his legs, a pair of wooden slippers on his feet, and a large leather schoolbag that was stuffed in his hand.Maybe it was because he walked a little too fast, and his cheeks were flushed with heat.Although he was about as tall as he was, his face was still that of a child. "You didn't go to school?" "There is no class in the afternoon, and the morning is full, but the last math class teacher asked for leave, so I came back early." Jiadong said with a smile, obviously the teacher asked for leave, which made him very happy.

"Why didn't you ride a bike?" "Take it for repair." Jiadong threw his big schoolbag on the wooden bench next to him, sighed, and said in a depressed voice: "This car keeps breaking down, and my parents said they would buy me a new one. Say no, buy a motorcycle, or don’t want anything at all. Why can Alexander ride a motorcycle but not me?” "Who is Alexander?" "My friend. Alexander is only one year older than me, so he can ride a motorcycle. When I said to buy a motorcycle, my parents always said to wait until the age of eighteen. Later they said that riding a motorcycle is dangerous, and they said that it is better to go to ten. I bought a second-hand car when I was eight years old. Alas! Actually, I don’t like any other cars, I just like motorcycles.” Jiadong shrugged, sat on a wooden bench, kicked off his wooden slippers, and put his two Big feet in only red socks stepped on the grass. "But there's nothing I can do. I have to listen to what my parents say. They're always doing my best." He suddenly paused, frowned slightly, and said after a while: "My parents don't like Ya very much. Li Shanda said that his family education is not good, and he doesn't like me getting too close to him!"

"Why is Alexander's tutor bad?" "His parents are both members of the Celestial Society, and they value freedom. So Alexander is also free, and he can do whatever he wants. He smokes, drinks, reads when he wants, and doesn't read when he doesn't want to. He can go to Diss at will. But if you go to the ballroom to dance, you don’t have to sleep at home.” Jiadong said with a mysterious smile, and said a little embarrassedly: “Uncle Liu, maybe you don’t believe me, but Alexander already had three girls. told me." "Three girls?" Liu Weizu didn't understand yet, but he understood immediately.Looking at Jiadong's pure baby face, he felt somewhat conflicted.The kid was confiding in him!I should have a lot of trust in him, maybe his opinion will have some effect on this child.So what should he tell him?Tell him to obey his parents and be a "good boy"?The problem is that Jiadong is Zhuang Jing's son.A person who broke the first gap in his life, but he actually helped her "fool" her son so that she could save her worry and trouble, and live a peaceful life?No!He, Liu Weizu, was not such a magnanimous person, not to mention that he sneered at such concepts as parents, tutoring, and obedience. "Jiadong, in my opinion, Alexander's parents are right. Alexander's life is so interesting!" he said.

"Do you think so?" Jiadong was surprised by Liu Weizu's words.He straightened his eyes and thought for a moment, then said resentfully: "Alexander's life is like an adult's. Of course it is interesting! But if I am like him, my parents will be sad." Jiadong said and stood over to look at it. Painting by Liu Weizu. "Jiadong, do you love your parents?" "Who doesn't love their parents? Alas! Uncle Liu, what are you painting?" Jiadong pointed to Liu Weizu's half-drawn painting in puzzlement. "It's Nakajiang. Jiadong, people don't have to love their parents, and some people don't."

"Strange—?" Jiadong only paid attention to the painting, but didn't pay attention to the following sentence. "The water is green! Why is it gray and white, and the woods are green too! It's black..." "The river water was originally green, and the trees were originally green, but because of the great victory of the world and the filth of people's hearts, they were all dyed into other colors. In my opinion, they are just black and gray." Liu Wei Zu Yuyu said. "It's strange. I think they are very beautiful. They are bright and green."

"When I was your age, everything was green." "Now everything you see is black? Gray? How is that possible!" Jiadong laughed out loud. "Don't be busy, just wait! Slowly you will know that the color will change." "Oh?" Jiadong became more and more confused. "Uncle Liu, you are such a mysterious person, it's so interesting to listen to your talk." There was an unfathomable admiration in his tone. "Really, what you say can't be heard anywhere else. Uncle Liu, can I come and have a chat with you often?" "Why not? Jiadong, Uncle Liu also likes to chat with you!" Liu Weizu said seriously.

"Oh, really?" Jiadong blushed with joy. "Uncle Liu, the day after tomorrow is Saturday, and we don't have classes in the afternoon, shall I go and see you?" "Of course, come here! I have plenty of good stories to tell you, and the plot is even more exciting than the detective novels you read!". "Really? That would be great! I'll be at your place the day after tomorrow." Jiadong left.It wasn't until his slender figure disappeared around the corner that Liu Weizu looked away.The child Jiadong made him emotionally complicated.There seemed to be a special attraction on that innocent child's face, which not only made him willing to get close to him, but even subconsciously liked him.This situation was not ordinary for Liu Weizu, he always thought that he would not like anyone, including himself. He continued to paint, looking at the turbulent flowing water and the shining sun, he felt nervously that his life, which was empty and contentless, was slowly being filled with vitality, and hope was gradually being born.He almost wanted to paint the water of the Naka River and the forests on the bank in green. Even on rainy days, Liu Weizu was very excited.He bought several kinds of snacks and two detective novels, and waited for Jiadong to come on Saturday, preparing for the two of them to chat and eat snacks.He has a lot of experience in exploration, but Jiadong stuck out his tongue in shock. Jiadong didn't come on Saturday, and he waited for nothing all day, which made him really angry. Even children can say what they say, is there any hope in this world? Jiadong still came to look for Liu Weizu, but it was a few days later than the Saturday he said.When he came, Liu Weizu was working in a restaurant. The demolition part of the interior has already been completed, and the renovation and redoing have a certain scale according to Liu Weizu's design.What needs to be done at this stage is to paint, paint, and directly draw Chinese-style paintings on the walls.After laying the groundwork, Liu Weizu painted a landscape mural the size of the entire wall on the wall facing the door.So that people who come in can touch it at the first sight.In addition, on the walls on both sides, at a considerable distance, draw a picture that is three feet long and one and a half feet wide.Among them are plum, orchid, chrysanthemum, bamboo, peony and peony, all flowers.His goal is to be elegant and less harsh bright colors.Even the pillars on the roof and the walls, and the frames around the murals, he also avoids using direct bright red and green colors, but uses the ocher, autumn green, indigo and cinnabar colors commonly used in Chinese paintings that he ingeniously mixes. He wants to paint elegantly, not because of Tan Yunliang's request, but because of his own preference.His traditional Chinese paintings have always been light, with not much coloring.Some people have criticized him, saying that his works are not clear enough, and always give people a feeling of being obscure, gloomy, negative, and worldly.And think that he can show this, which is enough to prove that he has considerable talent, and if he works hard, he will have great achievements. For any criticism, he never takes it to heart, and the word "achievement" is even more meaningless to him.The reason why he sells paintings is to eat, to stop being in the Liu family's side, and not to use his father's illegal money.Apart from that, painting meant nothing to him. Standing on the ladder, he carefully daubed with a large brush.It is better to say that it is a brush than a pen. What is a pen dipped in paint but a brush? The paint was specially formulated by him, the color was extremely unique, and the smell was surprisingly unpleasant. He kept frowning and sniffling while painting.The paint was so clumsy and difficult to apply on the pen, it made his already bad mood worse, and he felt more like a painter.Unfortunately, it was Tan Yunliang and Zhuang Jing who hired him again, and the feeling of being oppressed and unfair was relatively intensified a lot.He painted angrily, thinking angrily: thinking about how Zhuang Jing once let him down, how kind Wang Hongjun was, how ordinary Tan Yunliang was, and how Elizabeth was neither beautiful nor special. They all had a very happy life.Zhuang Jing and Tan Yunliang, Wang Hongjun and Elizabeth are all considerate and respectful of each other, as if they really have love.But he has nothing, and his whole life has been persecuted and deceived.He despises their so-called happiness, but he can't stand their faces that think they are happy and virtuous. He knew that Zhuang Jing was keeping a distance on purpose, and Wang Hongjun was also keeping a distance on purpose.Especially Zhuang Jing, since that long talk in the suburbs, she has avoided being alone with him, and she never mentioned anything about the past, as if nothing had happened between her and him, and she intentionally kept her Their relationship becomes a pure employer-employer relationship.What she talked the most was either Tan Yunliang or Jiadong, especially Jiadong. "Jiadong is still a child, we should pay special attention to his education." "Jiadong is kind-hearted, but he is easily influenced by others." "The family building is all our hope, and we have to raise the family business for him." Speaking of Tan Yunliang, her tone was also very emotional: "Yunliang is a good person, he does not contend with the world, he treats others submissively, and he never hurts anyone." This is what she has said several times.For the current life, she seems very satisfied, as if she was born to be Tan Yunliang's wife and Jiadong's mother, more like a steadfast and fierce woman.After more than ten years of isolation, this new look of hers was quite strange to him, causing him to have an incomprehensible sense of mystery about her.Is she really that satisfied?She really loves Tan Yunliang?Or is she faking it?To be able to pretend to this extent, the kung fu should be very good.So this reminded him more clearly of how she lied to him and betrayed him back then, so he suspected that she was more hypocritical than others and could tell lies.Also, why did Jiadong say that he would come to see him on Saturday and not come?Zhuang Jing must have prevented him from coming. "Uncle Liu is like a hooligan, you should stay away from him!" She would say that.Yes, she must have said it, otherwise why didn't Jiadong come? ... Liu Weizu was thinking furiously, when he suddenly heard the sound of someone opening the door, he turned his head, unexpectedly it was Jiadong.Jiadong carried his schoolbag in one hand and the guitar in the other. "Hello, Uncle Liu." Jiadong came to the bottom of the ladder and tilted his head to look up. "Are you here?" Liu Weizu stopped writing and looked down at Jiadong. "Didn't you say you came last Saturday? Why did you come today?" "Because there was an exam, my mother hired a tutor to come home and teach me math, and I was not allowed to come out to play." Jiadong said shyly. "Oh? You're not allowed to come out?" Liu Weizu's mustache curled up with a smile.I thought: Didn’t you tell me to guess?She doesn't want Jiadong to get close to me, she is afraid that I will spoil her child, in her eyes I am terrible and unacceptable.OK, are you going to take on me? ... "Why did you come out again today?" He asked tentatively. "The Easter holiday starts today, and school ends earlier than usual. Don't you know that next Friday is Good Friday?" Jiadong's tone was extremely serious. Liu Weizu almost laughed out loud, he blinked his eyes and said contemptuously: "How can I have free time to care who suffers or not?" "But it's always good to have a holiday." Jiadong grinned happily. "Hello! Jiadong, are you hungry?" Liu Weizu took out a piece of chocolate candy from his pocket and threw it to Jiadong, who caught it with one hand. "It's good at aiming!" He simply stopped drawing, threw the pen on the ladder's rung, and sat on it with one leg crossed. "Uncle Liu, you draw so beautifully." Jiadong gnawed on the chocolate candy. "It's not pretty, it's what painters do. Uncle Liu has no choice but to be a painter. If he doesn't do it, he won't have food or smoke." Liu Weizu lit a cigarette and smoked for a while, seeing that Jiadong's candy had been eaten, He lifted the cigarette box and shook it: "One too?" "No. There are quite a few students in our class who smoke. I never dared to. Smoking can easily cause lung disease. Uncle Liu, you smoke so much, aren't you afraid of getting sick?" "I'm not afraid. I'm different from those people. Those people don't dare to do this and are also afraid of that. They frighten themselves and treat themselves like children in kindergarten. What's the point of living to be a hundred years old? I would rather live a few years less than live that kind of life, I can live as I like, and I am completely happy with myself.” Sitting on the top of the ladder, Liu Weizu said proudly. "Oh?" Jiadong felt very novel about Liu Weizu's argument, and felt that his ideas were as different as his own. He had long admired this chic wandering artist, and now he heard his philosophy of life, and felt even more excited. Infinitely profound and mysterious. "Uncle Liu, your idea is so special, it's the first time I've heard of it." "If you talk to Uncle Liu more, you will hear more things for the first time." Liu Weizu winked at Jiadong. "Oh! That's for sure." Jiadong stretched his neck, stared blankly at Liu Weizu who was sitting high above him for a while, then dropped his schoolbag and guitar case on the floor with a bang, and went to move another one along the wall. The ladder that was placed upside down, was erected upright, and like a nimble monkey, it climbed up three times.He also imitated Liu Weizu's posture, sitting on the crossbar where the two ladders folded, and looked at Liu Weizu in mid-air. "Uncle Liu, why did you name yourself Liu Lang?" After sitting down, he asked suddenly. "Because I'm a bum!" "Why do you want to be a bum?" "Because being a homeless person is free, you can walk around, look around, and don't have to accept it; no one is in charge, and you don't need to wear a suit and tie to look prudish. The life of a homeless person is real, and there is no need to lie or pretend to be a bluff .” "Oh?" Jiadong rolled his eyes, apparently not fully understanding this passage.He thought for a while and asked, "Uncle Liu, do you like to walk around and look around?" "Of course, the world is so vast, and there are so many strange things, why don't I try my best to see and see, why should I circle myself in a corner, just look at the little sky in front of me, and be surrounded and fooled by the few people next to me? "Liu Weizu shrugged and compared his hands. "Who are those people next to him?" Jiadong stretched his neck long again. "Yes—like parents, teachers, and people who think they're pretty good." "You think parents and teachers will fool him too—" Jiadong was so startled that he didn't know what to ask, he opened his mouth stupidly and stared at Liu Weizu. "Why not? Parents instill in their children obedience! Filial piety! Observing the rules and other concepts, so that the children think that it is wrong not to do so, so they are obedient, filial, and obey the rules. The same is true for teachers. Same, anyway, you are not allowed to be the kind of person you want to be." Liu Weizu said in a moving voice, sitting on a high ladder like a great philosopher who is giving a lecture. "Ah, Uncle Liu, your idea is so novel, it's really the first time I've heard of it." Jiadong was moved and sighed deeply. "My parents and teachers did always tell me to be obedient, to be filial, and to obey the rules. But I only thought that they were doing it for my own good and loving me." "They use love as a weapon to control you." Liu Weizu said with a provocative smile.After speaking, he immediately changed the subject: "You play the guitar well! I heard that you have a singing talent, you can sing while playing the guitar, like a big-name singer." "What is a big-name singer?" "It's very famous." "Oh, I'm the best in singing and playing guitar in our class." Jiadong said without any modesty. "Sing a tune for Uncle Liu." Liu Weizu pointed to the guitar on the floor. Jiadong grinned in embarrassment at first, then came down to open the box containing the guitar, held the guitar in one hand, and climbed to the top of the ladder again. "What am I singing?" Jiadong fiddled with the guitar. "Sing your favorite." "Okay, I'll sing "You Are Hot Like a Volcano"." Jiadong cleared his throat and began to sing along with the guitar. "You Are as Hot as a Volcano" is the most popular disco song nowadays, and it is sung fieryly, with shouts and shouts.Ka Tung's voice is a bit hoarse, and singing hit songs with a hoarse voice can add flavor. At first glance, he really looks like a popular singer.Jiadong sang, and Liu Weizu used a cigarette as a baton, waving his fingers in the air to beat the time, and humming harmony on his mouth, making the empty hall warm and full of singing. After Jiadong finished singing, Liu Weizu clapped his hands vigorously. "It would be a pity not to become a singer for such a genius." He made his mouth squirt. "Being a singer? You say I'm a genius?" Jiadong blushed with excitement, and his tone was dubious. "You are a genius, you will become the most popular singer." Liu Weizu raised his eyebrows exaggeratedly. "Oh—" Jiadong stroked his bald chin and shook his head. "How can I do that? Mom and Dad told me to study hard, to go to university, and to study for a master's degree in the future! How could they ask me to be a singer." There was regret in his tone. "It's called the Fool's Policy. They want to control your life and prevent the owner of your life from controlling your own life." "Who is the master of life?" Jiadong asked puzzled. "You, you are the master of life." Liu Weizu pointed to Jiadong. "Me? The master of life?" Jiadong pointed to the tip of his nose suspiciously. "Naturally! Isn't this the obvious truth? The reason why a person is a person is because he has the ability to think and will, and he can decide which way he should go and what to do? The so-called: 'Hold life in your hands If you can't even do what you want, if you can't do anything you want, then you are still called a human? Isn't that a puppet?" Liu Weizu sucked heavily on the cigarette that had only a small stub left, angrily He exhaled a big mouthful of smoke. "Jiadong, this is a tragedy, this is a shameful tragedy." "What is tragedy?" Jiadong scratched his thick black hair with a blank expression. "Life is a tragedy. The vast majority of people in the world live as puppets and are manipulated by others all their lives. It is hard for a person to live like this one hundred and one times, and let some stupid fools mess up. This life is worthless." It's over. Tell me, isn't this a tragedy?" Liu Weizu said sadly. "Uncle Liu, everyone thinks differently. What you said today is the first time I've heard it in my life. It's so novel." Jiadong sighed. "Think Uncle Liu's remarks are scary?" Liu Weizu laughed. "It's not scary, I just think it's different and makes sense. Uncle Liu, I admire you. It's a holiday now, and I don't go to school for two weeks. I want to come to play with you every day and listen to you talk." Jiadong shy said. "Come on! I'm very welcome. But I'm afraid you won't count again." "This time it will count." Jiadong said with certainty. As expected, Jiadong kept his word, he really came every day, and the two chatted when he came, which made Liu Weizu's life much easier, and even painting with a brush dipped in lacquer seemed less boring. Jiadong often unconsciously talks about life at home, how his mother is and what he said, and how his father is and what he said.This subject matter was what Liu Weizu wanted to hear most.In Jiadong's unintentional narration, he has a certain discovery: Zhuang Jing and Tan Yunliang don't want Jiadong to get close to him.This discovery made him more dissatisfied with Zhuang Jing, and increased his determination to fight her. Easter is here. Easter means nothing to Chinese people, but it means a lot to Westerners.The shops are closed, the offices and primary and secondary schools are on holiday, and the university has not yet started. Heidelberg is a student city. When the school is on holiday, there are fewer people on the streets and in the taverns. It seems that the whole city is quiet and deserted. Even Wang Hongjun's family went to took a vacation in the mountains. Liu Weizu's life was very sad, he had nowhere to go, he was thinking wildly all day long, the more he thought about it, the more depressed he became, and the more he felt that there was no hope in life. Zhuang Jing's family went to Paris three days ago.It is said that Tan Yunliang's cousin has been there recently and invited them to a meeting.Before leaving, Zhuang Jing said as if nothing happened: "Mr. Liu should also take a vacation and go to Switzerland or Austria to have fun." "I'm good at arranging myself, don't bother Mrs. Tan." He pushed her back ungratefully. He became more and more disgusted with Zhuang Jing's attitude, the more he could not forgive her past, the more he hated her hypocrisy. She was obviously avoiding him, intentionally distanced her from him, and called him "Mr. Liu" in front of others, with an unsmiling and indifferent expression on his face, as if nothing had ever happened between the two of them. anything.Did she really write off everything before?Or is it deliberately covering up?He has seen, dated, and played enough love games with women, but he has never seen someone as unpredictable and difficult to understand as her.She was considerate and obedient to Tan Yunliang, but he noticed that when she glanced at Tan Yunliang inadvertently, her eyes were also indifferent.He really wanted to find out about this, and wanted to know if she really loved Tan Yunliang?Is it true that Liu Weizu was completely negated?The annoying thing is that she never gave him a chance to ask this question, and she always expressed her love for Tan Yunliang in front of him, which made her even more determined to give up the idea of ​​revenge several times, and felt that she could not be easily spared. He wanted to take revenge on her, but he didn't know where to start?What could be done to give back to her the pain and hurt she had given him plus Benjali's?There was nothing clear about the matter; if he had weight in her heart, it would be effortless to hurt her, and if he meant nothing to her, then it would be futile to do anything to hurt her.Just when he didn't know what to do, Jiadong's initiative to approach him gave him new enlightenment and inspiration: to hurt her, you don't have to hurt her, you can hurt the person she loves the most, as she said : "The family building is all our hope." "Is Jiadong your all hope? I have a way to make him the biggest disappointment." Liu Weizu couldn't help but secretly smiled smugly as he thought about it. These days, Jiadong often comes to him, helps him paint, plays the guitar and sings to him, and accepts his "teaching". From Jiadong's trusting eyes and his immature conversation, he could see that Jiadong had genuine trust and admiration for him.His theories that ordinary people are afraid of are regarded as golden rules and jade rules by everyone in the family. Not only are they regarded as golden rules and jade rules, they are also accepted as they are, and become his own thoughts, and even put them into action. Significant changes in Jiadong: he seems to pay less attention to schoolwork, he is tired of the control of his parents and teachers, and complains that they interfere with his freedom, prevent him from being the master of his own life, and force him to do what they like That type of person.Once Jiadong said: "They are them, and I am me. What they think is right may not necessarily be what I think is right. Uncle Liu, do you think I think right?" His tone was absolute trust, without any doubt. "That's right, Jiadong, your ideas are amazing. You are no longer a child, you are a big man. Because your ideas are more breakthrough than children of your age." He praised Chao Jiadong thumbs up. Jiadong put on a face full of foolishness, flushed with excitement and shyness, and then described how he had conflicts with his parents at home. "I told my parents that I don't want to study anymore. I want to find some friends to organize a band and become a singer. My father was frightened and said no. My father has always been a temperless person. He just sighed and said: You can do whatever you want, but you have to graduate from middle school first. Mom? She always puts her eyes on me and interferes with me the most. She turned pale with anger when she heard what I said , said: What is this argument? Where did you hear it? This child has changed, it has never been like this before. I said: Mom, I will grow up too, and I will not be your doll forever. Why can’t I have my own ideas? But then I was so sad because I made my mother cry.” Jiadong first smiled complacently, and then lowered his face in despair. "She is my mother, and I don't feel good seeing her sad." Jiadong said as if he couldn't bear it.But he quickly changed his tone, with a flattering tone: "Uncle Liu, I didn't mention you from the beginning to the end. Mom and Dad don't know that we are often together." "Jiadong, never tell. This is the secret between the two of us, the tacit understanding between two men, a wandering painter and a wandering singer, the most pure and holy union of two free souls. Ordinary people would not I understand, so it's best not to tell them. Do you understand?" He said a lot of mysterious truths, and seeing Jiadong listening so intently and worshiping, he smiled triumphantly. He was very happy, feeling that he had finally found a weapon against Zhuang Jing. "She can't resist this weapon!" He thought very relieved.At that moment, he almost wanted to sing loudly for the success of the scheme. But this kind of complacency and happiness did not last long. When he was sleeping late at night, smoking on the pillow, thinking about what happened, what he talked about, and the people he met, he couldn't help but ask himself: "Would you like me?" To fool a child like this, to use the child as a tool for revenge, have I really become so cruel?" When he asked himself, he was almost ashamed and contemptuous of himself, which of course made him very contradictory ,it's painful.However, this kind of self-blaming emotion does not often appear in his temperament, it appears occasionally, and disappears quickly. If he really feels uneasy because of this, he will think back on everything others have done to him. Apart from Zhuang Jing's betrayal of him, what he can't forget and forgive is his grandmother and his parents , how did they cheat and ruin his life?If others can do that to him, why can't he fight back?What he thinks about the most these days is the disillusionment of his last period of life. At that time, he was in Heidelberg...