Chapter 26 Chapter Twenty Six

"You are lying!" Meng Feiyang quit, turned over and pushed Dai Xi down, and yelled at her: "If I say no, I won't! I have been a monk for three years, do you believe it? Do you believe it?" "I do not believe!" "Damn girl, you slandered me, show me the evidence!" Meng Feiyang thought to himself: You should calm down now, you little lunatic! Dai Xi broke out from under Meng Feiyang's palm, and smiled at him: "If you take the evidence, take the evidence, I have the evidence!" "what?!" Dai Xi leaned in front of Meng Feiyang, her face was as delicate as a rose in full bloom in spring, she stared at him and said, "I've made a mark with you!"

"Where?...Wow!" Meng Feiyang's eyes turned dark, his chest felt tight, and he was spinning, "What did you say?!" Dai Xi tilted her head, and combed her long black waterfall-like hair with her fingers: "Take a good look for yourself, there are my teeth marks on it." Meng Feiyang was about to tear off his pants, but fortunately he came to his senses immediately. He gasped and said, "Okay, you damn Daixi! You are a liar, okay, you will leave teeth marks, right? You now Just leave it to me!" He hugged Dai Xi tightly and rolled on the bed, she was trembling with laughter in his arms, while pushing him desperately: "I'm telling you, I'm serious... I have a theory... The man, the real age of the man It is reflected through sex and sex organs..."

"...What real age?! What sexual organs?!" Meng Feiyang felt that having a girlfriend who studies psychology is simply a miracle—help me, Amitabha, Jade Emperor, Virgin Mary... "Really!" Dai Xi finally escaped from Meng Feiyang's embrace. She sat beside him with a smile and said solemnly, "Studies have proved that the function and state of sexual organs can most truly reflect a man's biological age. For example People like Kangxi and Qianlong can still have children in their 70s and 80s, which shows that their sexual organs have always been in good condition, so their biological age is much younger than their actual age. Others Well, impotence at a young age actually means that they are much older than their actual age, because their sexual organs are the first to age!"

"Oh, what about the eunuchs? Where did their biological age go?" Dai Xi rolled her eyes: "Eunuchs, they only have the age to be human, not the age to be male!" "Really academic!" Meng Feiyang raised a pair of thumbs at Dai Xi, "But what does this have to do with me?" Dai Xi still looked at him with a smile: "Of course it's related. Didn't you ask me for evidence? I don't have evidence, but I have reasoning!" "Push your head!" "Listen to me. When I left China three years ago, according to my appraisal, the male biological age reflected by your sexual organs can only be regarded as the embryonic baby stage. But this time I came back Later, I discovered that your sexual organs had grown to puberty, probably at the stage of junior high school. Since such a rapid development obviously did not conform to the law of time, my conclusion is that in these three years, your sexual organs have accepted a certain degree of extracurricular tutoring!"

Meng Feiyang was so dumbfounded, it took him a long time to recover, and he grinned and shouted: "Can't I be self-taught?" "Okay, okay!" Dai Xi giggled and rolled on the bed, Meng Feiyang hugged her hard, feeling that his heart was about to melt from her laughter. She managed to stop laughing, but her face turned even redder, as if all the blood in her body was burning there, and she said: "Actually, I don't really care how your male age grows. A person to verify, your male age has reached a hundred years old..." Dai Xi's next words were blocked by Meng Feiyang's kiss. While kissing her with all his strength, he was thinking wanderingly: Why are you so cute, cuter than everything in this world, so cute that it makes my heart palpitate...

Meng Feiyang fell asleep, and his male age has made great progress tonight, almost reaching its peak state.Dai Xi couldn't fall asleep anyway, she opened her eyes wide and listened to Meng Feiyang's gentle snoring for a while, then quietly got up and came to the computer. She was inexplicably nervous when she turned on the computer, but the strange attraction that had been haunting her these days was so strong and unstoppable tugging at her fingers and her thoughts.Dai Xi found the subject that Professor Higgins assigned to him, and it was stored under the directory named "Consultant x".

Move the mouse, click on the document... a short blank space, like the kind of pause that all mysterious, important, and fate-determining things always have before they are revealed.It was as if someone said to her in the dark: "You need to clear the space in your heart and let me enter." Dai Xi took a deep breath, and the document was finally spread out on the screen, leading her to explore that deep and difficult place again. And the spiritual world that made her unable to restrain herself. At the beginning of the case, Professor Higgins wrote a short introduction, which is part of his research on "sex addiction".The professor wrote: Sex addiction, alcohol addiction, drug addiction, etc., belong to family diseases in psychology, that is to say, the causes of this kind of addictive mental illness can usually be traced back to the patient's initial family experience.This kind of experience is often tragic, which means a painful childhood, but children neither have the corresponding language ability to effectively express the hurt they have suffered and seek help; nor do they have the mature thinking ability to understand the situation they are in. environment, and analyze the reasons for their suffering.This depressive state has existed for a long time and accompanied them throughout their growth process, so that when they grow up to the age where they can confide, they have lost the ability to express and entered the so-called "aphasia" state.

The pain that cannot be confided further deepens the psychological trauma of the patients, and their illnesses - various addictions in turn affect their families, making it difficult for them to hope for the understanding and love of their loved ones.Professor Higgins wrote: For example, people with "sex addiction" are often regarded as erotic maniacs with a perverted and strong demand for sex. and the contempt of friends.These relatives and friends should not be blamed, because they are also victims, especially for those who suffer from "sex addiction", the pressure and injuries their lovers have endured are indeed too harsh, and any harsh criticism is inappropriate. realistic.As a result, the patient's "aphasia" state became stronger. Out of fear, guilt, and desire to protect, they tried their best to hide their true situation from their relatives, thus losing the last chance to confide.Writing here, Professor Higgins lamented that according to his research, what patients with "sex addiction" seek in unrestrained sexual behavior is actually a kind of unreserved care, and they hope to experience being loved and being loved. The feeling of need, but what they did made it completely impossible for them to win true love.

It was these analyzes that made Dai Xi determined to torture Meng Feiyang tonight. In fact, what she really wanted to torture was herself.She really wants to experience whether she can agree with the cheating behavior of the person she loves the most. No, it's not about agreeing, but understanding under certain circumstances.Dai Xi felt that in order to analyze the case of the consultant x, she must have an understanding of her true views on this issue, and not just a cold and objective attitude.However, the experiment did not achieve what she wanted, and she was still ambiguous about herself. After all, he is not him, and Meng Feiyang is not a consultant x.

So, what kind of person is the consultant x? In Professor Higgins' records, there is only this simple description: male, forty-five years old, Chinese.According to his own request, Professor Higgins concealed all relevant content that might reveal his true identity, but for Dai Xi, reading his consultation records repeatedly these days has already vividly drawn in her heart Although his image was hidden in the darkness, Dai Xi felt that he was gradually deepening into his heart, and he could already truly feel the overflowing pain under the weight of "aphasia".The more times she reads, the more anxious she feels. This consultant Mr. X, his pain is so vivid and full. If he doesn't release it, he will probably never be able to get rid of it.

Professor Higgins thinks so too.It is a pity that the consultant x has given up the follow-up treatment. He disappeared into the ocean of the mind and decided to bear everything alone.Dai Xi thought, maybe he was really too tired.Courage and trust, these two things are necessary conditions in psychotherapy, and he can no longer absorb these from his exhausted body and mind, so he has no choice but to sink down. But, you know what?In the dark room, Dai Xi is staring at the gleaming monitor, as if staring at a soul wandering in the dark—you know?Someone is willing to help you.From the folder she had read many times, she seemed to be able to smell the mysterious and distant sadness, which drifted out from the long past and gradually permeated her heart... Professor Higgins: How are you feeling these days? x: Not so good, in fact, I feel worse... Professor Higgins: Oh, why do you say that? x: I think I'm about to become a real pervert, no, I should say I already am. Professor Higgins: Don't draw such conclusions lightly for yourself. The conclusions should be left to professionals like me.Moreover, in our professional field, the word pervert is not often used...Mr. X, I think the first thing you need to learn is to be tolerant to yourself. x: how tolerant?Shall I indulge myself further? …I have become more and more unable to control my behavior, but I feel less and less satisfaction from it. It is as thin as the air on a high mountain, and it is almost not enough to breathe.Every time, I can feel my heart being pulled away from my body, leaving only an empty shell, as light as dust.But at the same time, the fear grew, and I felt that I was becoming more and more a monster, who would one day be spurned by everyone. Professor Higgins: Looks like we shouldn't be talking about that today, let's talk about something else... How about we talk about memories?Can make you really happy memories? x: I don't know... What other memories can make me happy? Professor Higgins: For example...how did you learn such a wonderful English? Mr. X, I am amazed by your language skills. There are many people who can speak foreign languages ​​fluently and accurately, but few can convey deep emotions and elegant charm like you. I think you must be proud of it .Come on, tell me about how you learned English, I guess, it must have started when you were a toddler... x: ...Yes, indeed from early childhood.Actually, my mother always spoke English at home, although, she didn't talk to me very often. Professor Higgins: Oh?your mother is... x: My maternal grandfather is Chinese and my maternal grandmother is French. My mother was born in Paris and moved to England with her parents when she was four or five years old, and spent her childhood in London.Therefore, English, French and Chinese are her mother tongues, among which she is most proficient in English.But when I was born and grew up, there was no environment for speaking foreign languages ​​around me.In my childhood memory, my mother has always been very busy, and her life was full of hardships in order to raise my brother, sister and me, but when she came home, behind closed doors, she must have spoken English to us, as if it was She resisted the crazy world at that time, a way to prove her existence. Professor Higgins: So your brother and sister must also be able to speak excellent English? x: Yes, and my mother taught them from a young age, but she never taught me. Professor Higgins: Why? x: Because she hates me.It may also be because, in the era after I was born, she probably felt that teaching me English was inappropriate and might not bring me benefits.But whenever I see her talking to her brothers and sisters and I can't join in, I get really frustrated.Sometimes, I beg my brothers and sisters to teach me something, but of course it is not enough.At that time, I firmly believed that the reason why my mother hated me and refused to talk to me was because my English was not good enough, so I tried harder to learn it.I searched all over the house, but I couldn't find any books about English. Later, my mother finally understood what I thought, so she gave me a set of English books.Professor, can you guess what kind of book set that is? Professor Higgins: Ah, let me guess... Is it Grimm's Fairy Tales, or The Adventures of Tom Sawyer? x: Neither.The books you mentioned, Professor, were not allowed to be read when I was a child. Professor Higgins: Haha, then I won't be able to figure it out. It's up to you to figure it out. x: That is a set of four English editions of Mao Zedong's Selected Works. Professor Higgins: Oh!What a surprising answer, very interesting.I get it, your mother gave you this book because it was probably one of the few English books that could be found in China at that time. x: You're half right.The other half of the reason is that I only found out later-my father used to be an important member of the translation team for this book. Prof. Higgins: So it seems... You seem to be referring to your father for the first time? x: yes.In my childhood memory, the image of my father is very vague, and I don't seem to have seen him a few times in total.It was only after I was in elementary school that I heard from my mother that my father was sent to Wuwei, Gansu in the year I was born. Oh, it was a very remote place in Northwest China, close to the desert.My mother stayed in Shanghai with her three children.She had to rely on her own strength to support us, because her father could not provide her with any help, and she could only send a letter every half a year, and only returned home a few times in more than ten years... Professor Higgins: Well, with that set of books, you can learn English as much as you want, right? x: Still no one to teach me, but at least I have something to read.Fortunately, at that time, every household had several sets of Mao Xuan in Chinese, so that I could learn by myself comparing Chinese and English.Because this set of "Selected Works of Mao Zedong" was given to me by my mother, I wishfully believed that as long as I learned this set of books, my mother would be happy and would not hate me anymore.Professor, maybe you don’t know yet, the translation level of this set of books was unique in China at that time. The members of the translation team included the most famous Sinology experts from Cambridge and Oxford, as well as Chinese scholars who graduated from these two schools, so the book The choice of words, sentence patterns, and charm in both Chinese and English are classics.The Times once evaluated this set of English translations as "faithfully expressing the thinking of the red Chinese rulers in brilliant English".My mother gave me this set of books as a textbook, which means a very high starting point. Professor Higgins: I have no doubt that your starting point is indeed very high. x: But my goal was not realized in the end.I studied hard for several years, and in the end I was able to recite all the main chapters and colorful passages in the whole set of books. I thought I could finally get my mother's appreciation and win her favor.But she just left me at this time. Professor Higgins: What happened? x: The "Cultural Revolution" is over, my father went through all kinds of hardships, and finally he was able to return to Shanghai.His mother immediately went to Hong Kong with him and his brothers and sisters.Before I could find a chance to show my mother what I had learned, she left and just abandoned me.Sadly, the content of this set of books has been deeply engraved in my mind since then, and I can't forget it even if I want to.To this day, occasionally when I think of the words and phrases in it, I still feel heartbroken.Professor, is there a kind of surgery that can erase unwanted memories by removing part of the white matter of the brain?I would love to cut this set out of my head. Professor Higgins: But... This will erase your memory of your mother together. x: Oh, forget it, let's stay... Dai Xi's heart trembles every time she sees this.The tiny sound of that lonely little bird flapping its wings, came from the other end of the long and silent corridor, and echoed in Dai Xi's chest. She really wanted to reach out her hands to catch that random bird Delicate feathers blown by the wind. x: However, although my mother left me, my English study did not end there. Professor Higgins: Really?Have you found yourself a new teacher yet?