Chapter 15 Chapter fifteen

What a refreshing and gorgeous autumn night. The sky is high and the clouds are light, the stars are sparse and the moon is round.The leaves of sycamore trees all over the street are as green as before, and the red maple has shown its beauty. People traveling in costumes flock and shuttle under the neon lights, dyeing the autumn night from tranquility to splendor. Only "Yiyuan" is still sleeping in a dream of being isolated from the world, ignorant of the fiery world that is close at hand.In the colorful autumn night, "she" is the darkest and brightest place. But tonight, how could there be a shadow sneaking into the lonely dream where "her" is almost never visited by anyone?Moreover, how could there be another shadow quietly waiting on the lawn where the fragrance was floating?It seems that they have been waiting for many, many years for the reunion tonight...

"Tonight, I am back in front of you - 'Yi Yuan'. "My former homeland, you are more beautiful than any moment in my memory, radiant like a woman nourished by true love, and shy with refusal. Who is it? Who is it, with his life The fountain that waters you and kindles you with the fire of Beloved. "You must not recognize me anymore. I have lost my original appearance long ago. What I lost along with it is youth and love. These three most fragile things in the world, I can't keep any of them, let alone you. . "'Yiyuan', you and I, we have both been burned, and we have both been reborn. Your peerless brilliance today makes me feel ashamed and gratified. I should say goodbye to you with confidence, But why, why does my heart tremble again in the pain of parting?"

"Is it you? Are you finally back? I have been looking for and waiting for the person for twenty years. Twenty years is not too long, but it has been half my life. After countless times of searching, failure and disappointment, I I believe that only by waiting, relying on waiting can we meet again. "Have you seen her?——'Yi Yuan', have you seen her appearance today? Do you like her elegance and luxury today? Of course she is no longer young, and her beauty today has gone through many vicissitudes. But just now Because her body is carved with the scars of grief, remorse, and missed time and time again, I will do my best to take her back, dress her up, cherish her, stay by her side, remember the past in her arms, and remember the never-ending Time to come again."

"Ah, I understand, it's you, a very smart guy, who is doing the tricks. But think about it, who else in this world can do all this except you? Who else has such wisdom, determination, and courage ...and madness. But when it comes to the first scene I remember of you, it was just a little boy standing stupidly beside his mother. At that moment, my little girl was completely dazzled by her light Eye—I heard my mother-in-law call her Miss Ruth, but she made me call her Aunt Rose." "Rose, rose...my mother." "Yes, your mother—the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life. At that time, Fenglin Bridge, my house was surrounded by crooked dilapidated houses, and it seemed to be painted with a thick layer from the sky to the ground. The gray paint, the occasional red but bloody slogans add not joy, but a murderous look in the desolation. From the eyes of my little girl, all the faces are frowning, every figure They are all hunched under the heavy load. So when I saw Aunt Rose that day, it was like seeing a colorful glow rising from the dark world.

"In fact, the style of her clothes is as ugly as everyone else's, and her natural curly brown hair has to be combed into a dense bun to lock up the alluring fragrance. Even so, her eyes are brighter than lightning. Her smile was captivating, and there was something in her manner that I had never seen before. "However, in that era, even the goddess-like Aunt Rose was sad. My mother-in-law pulled her to sit down at the table and asked me to pour water. I used my brain to find out the only one at home from the drawer drawer. I poured a full cup of hot water into four jacquard glasses and held them. She stroked my hair and said thank you with a smile, but her eye circles were red and her cheeks were still wet. I was taken aback, how could such a beautiful aunt cry?

"Remember? She was crying because of you that day!" "I remember, of course I remember. In fact, that was not the first time we met. My mother-in-law said that since I was born, my mother often sent me to your house. It wasn't until you had a 'brother' a few years later that you didn't go there less It's just that the memories of infancy have long since sunk in the deepest part of the ocean of your and my life, and they can't be found... Oh, let's talk about your first clear impression of me. I think it was about my day The embarrassment made your memory fresh: the head and face were bruised and purple, the right hand was wrapped with thick gauze, and the blood seeped all the way to the outermost layer. Hehe, it was actually to compete for a watermelon knife. I competed with him at home My brother, who is eight years older, fought violently. My mother rarely brought home a watermelon, but my brother refused to share it with me. At that time, he was holding the handle of the knife, and I was too weak to grab it, so I jumped on it and grabbed it desperately. My mother screamed and rushed to separate us, the blood flowed down my arm and dripped all over the floor, my brother had to let go, and finally I grabbed the knife."

"Well, my mother-in-law wants to have a private conversation with Aunt Rose, so she sends me outside to play with my new 'brother' and 'brother'. But I'm very embarrassed, why does this little brother always have a sad face? Hua Bin is still young, so he will only circle around you curiously. I asked you if the injury on your hand hurts, but you ignored me. I had to sit beside you, pick up the chopsticks with my left hand, and talk to myself To comfort you—it doesn’t matter if your right hand is broken, you can learn to use your left hand like me, eating and writing will be fine!”

"You are a gentle left-handed little girl, you are smart and kind, and you have the kindest and most amiable mother-in-law who brought me back from the cold depression to the warm sunshine. When my mother left that day, she left me with my mother-in-law, The endless disputes between me and my brothers and sisters made her exhausted. She begged her mother-in-law to take care of me, the most disobedient young son. When the sun went down, I watched my mother go away. Among the layers of gray broken houses, her golden back Slowly disappearing into the aisle, as if it took my heart away—it was obviously my brother’s fault, but the cruel punishment fell on my head! I didn’t cry, the pain like tearing my heart made me completely forget Hand injury.

"Since then, my mother has continued to abandon me... Well, maybe using the word abandonment is too serious, but at least it is an escape. She seems to have exhausted her mother's love on her brothers and sisters, and there is no more to share I. Fortunately, I found another home in Fenglinqiao. "But on the first day in the 'new home', you had an accident! Do you remember what happened? You proud little boy, taught me the first lesson of a man's life. Just because there are me and my mother-in-law at home , you refuse to stay at home for convenience, you must go to the public toilet at the entrance of the alley. Really God knows, what a terrible place it is, flies and mosquitoes are like a black cloud covering it, and the stench can even be smelled in my house three corners away Be clear. But you are so stubborn that you won't listen to my mother-in-law's advice at all, so I held your nose and led you to the toilet, and ran away home.

"Not long after you came back, your face was as white as paper. The mother-in-law greeted everyone for dinner, and you sat on the small stool without even looking at the food on the table. I thought your right hand must be hurting, and you couldn't hold the chopsticks. I took a spoon and stuffed it into your left hand, but you still didn’t eat anything.” "I was terrified by the rats and cockroaches in that public toilet, and the dirty water and dirt all over the floor. I had to keep waving my hands to drive away the flies that rushed to my face. I was so disgusted that I couldn't eat that night. , there is also a kind of desolation that I experienced for the first time in my life, which filled my small chest. In the sunset, my mother's back was getting farther and farther, and finally turned into a golden halo. She walked all the way without even turning her head. Could it be that she Abandoned me cruelly, forever abandoned in the stinking and miserable reality? I felt the taste of despair... The desperate seven-year-old boy even thought of death with a childish heart, hehe, isn't it a bit exaggerated? However Which child is not born vulnerable and emotional? Maybe this is the most original and true me.

"Fortunately, I didn't toss and turn in Hamlet's confusion for a long time, and a refreshing fragrance brought me back to my innocent childhood - it was gardenia! How could you guess that I was stinking from the dirty smell of the toilet Is it broken? In short, you picked a small gardenia from the gardenia planted by your mother-in-law, and held the delicate and white petals in front of me with both hands. The cute smiling face immediately helped me forget all the sorrows. It is from that From that moment on, I truly regarded Fenglin Bridge as my home." "My mother-in-law grows gardenias and sells them, so she earns some money every summer. Originally, my house was nestled among a lot of dilapidated houses. It was damp, moldy and dark all year round, and there was no sun in summer. But gardenias can’t grow well without sunlight, so my mother-in-law had to take me to move the gardenias in pots to Nongkou, where I would watch them and move them back when the sun was about to go down. But since you came home, we You don’t need to move in and out anymore. You are like a nimble little monkey, you can climb up to the roof in a few strokes, and you can also run around on the continuous broken tiles and tarpaulin roofs, and put the gardenia pots along the roof. The eaves are arranged in a row, so that they can enjoy the sunshine and the breeze on the roof. You danced on the roof, and I hugged Huabin and screamed, laughed and danced under the roof. Even thinking about it now, that scene will make me happy I shed tears. This is the best memory... the innocent childhood that belonged to the three of us..." "The innocence of childhood...ever since that person appeared, there is no more." "That man!...Actually, I have a longer memory of him than you. Maybe it's because he's arrogant and frivolous every time he appears, or maybe it's more because I'm afraid that one day he will take my dearest My younger brother, for this person, the hatred in my heart has never stopped since I can remember. I know that my mother-in-law doesn’t like him, but I look forward to him coming. After all, only he can bring some money to subsidize the family, and that Foods such as milk powder, malted milk, and even ham and sausages were scarce in the era. I always remember listening to my mother-in-law saying: "The three little girls in my family are all born to be miserable, so I don't want to try to get some It would be too sinful to give them something delicious.' "But that time when he came, he ran into Aunt Rose who came to pick you up!" "... not long after, my mother sent me to Fenglin Bridge again. What a coincidence, that person also came to visit my son, and in the past few years, it is said that he only appeared once a season at most. We were kicked out after they entered the door When I came out, I had no choice but to play the game of rolling hoops boringly. You two followed and watched, just rolling from the mouth to the tail and then from the tail to the mouth. A whole afternoon passed. A week later, my mother came Picking me up, that person appeared again. The same situation repeated itself. At dinner time, the rare smell of meat wafted from my mother-in-law’s briquette stove, but the three of us were taken outside the house by my mother-in-law, and another small wooden board was set up to eat. For dinner, there are slices of meat that are rare throughout the year in the stir-fry, but I can't swallow it at all. "After that, my mother sent me to Fenglin Bridge more and more often, and sometimes she simply left me with my mother-in-law for a few weeks, but she changed to visit me every other week. It’s similar to Zhang Huabin who was in foster care. But she came and went in a hurry every time, and left after giving something to her mother-in-law. Often she couldn’t even talk to me. The food she brought was very good, including fish and meat. This way we have an opportunity to improve our meals almost every week. "Later, I thought, maybe my mother-in-law reminded my mother that she avoided me when she met that person. When I got home, I found that even my brothers and sisters shared those rare delicacies. At that time, I didn't understand What happened, I just instinctively felt that it was because of the appearance of that person that my mother ignored me even more and took away the little care my mother had for me—I hate him from the bottom of my heart!" "I know... Gradually you changed, and your changes made me palpitate and sad——After your brother appeared, Hua Bin liked to stay by your side more than me, and you treated him very well , a little farther away, I was the one who hugged him in the past, but you have been the one who carried him on your back since you came. Alas, even these things have changed, you don’t want to take Hua Bin to play boys’ games anymore , the ignorant he pestered you a few more times, and you actually beat him." "I can't remember how he annoyed me. Maybe it's just the eyes that look exactly like his father's. I'm helping my mother-in-law to light the coal stove, holding a hot iron braze in my hand. I swung at him without even thinking about it——I committed a crime that I regret for the rest of my life! It was you who stood between us without hesitation, and white smoke came out of the red iron rod in your hand. I You were stunned, and you burst into tears immediately because of the pain. Even so, you still tried your best to protect your younger brother, and shouted at me with every word: "What kind of a man is a big bully who bullies a small one!" "Do you know the power of your words? It is this sentence that has established the relationship between me and Zhang Huabin since then, until today!" "I know, I know that you don't hate Hua Bin, but that person. But I can't let you take your anger out on your innocent brother. This is not only for Hua Bin, but also for you, for the three of us. You and Hua Bin They are all the most important people to me, and my wish is just like my mother-in-law's last wish: Even if I am gone, I want you to be well and be together happily forever." "Mother-in-law! Her white hair, her wrinkles, her rough and generous hands, her slightly puckered smile... Without her, my childhood would have been bleaker. It is my mother-in-law who made up for the lack of family affection with her love." , It was she and you who gave me a warm home. So when she left, my whole world seemed to collapse." "When my mother-in-law left, there were only the three of us. Aunt Rose was about to leave Shanghai. At that time, my mother-in-law was already seriously ill. She asked Aunt Rose to help her and got in touch with my grandfather who was still in the labor camp. Entrusted to him. At that time, the official notice to allow grandpa to return to the city had not yet been issued. He hurried back to Shanghai and was forced to return to the farm after seeing his mother-in-law for the last time. Her mother-in-law was soon bedridden, and Aunt Rose had been with your father, Brother and sister went to Hong Kong, and you who stayed in Shanghai alone moved to my house, and I took care of my mother-in-law and Hua Bin every day. Two 12-year-old children jointly shouldered the responsibility of a family. Since Aunt Rose After leaving, that person never appeared again, his favor disappeared in an instant, and he didn't care about his son or mother-in-law. "My mother-in-law really loves us. Knowing that she is already dead, she is afraid of dragging us children down. She insists on refusing to see a doctor or take medicine. Soon, she can't even have water and rice. When she was dying, she took the three of us to death. One called to the bedside and grabbed us in turns with hands as thin as thin sheets of paper. It was a cold winter where dripping water turned into ice, and my dilapidated house with no sunlight was like an ice cave, and the mother-in-law exuded a strong breath of dying It turned this ice cave into a gloomy tomb. "The final moment is coming soon, the mother-in-law raised her arm that she had been unable to lift for a long time, her fingers like dead branches slid across our young faces, and the fine hissing sound broke the frozen air. The youngest and most beloved Hua Bin stands in front, then you, and finally... me. "'My little daughters...are so beautiful and smart...you must always be...together...' The mother-in-law's voice became weaker and weaker, but her hands were still raised high, and her white eyes There was a gleam of radiance persistently shining in it, and it refused to go out for a long time. The dead branch finally touched my face, over and over again, my mother-in-law wanted to pour out endless pity and love to me...Suddenly, the kindness on her face Solidified and formed, the last breeze of life broke through the old lips, and she swallowed. "My mother-in-law just left us forever. After staying for a while, Hua Bin burst into tears first, and his crying also awakened my grief. The two of us threw ourselves on my mother-in-law's ice-like body and wailed endlessly. Only you , I never shed a single tear. I spent the next few days in a daze, except for crying and crying, and I fell asleep when I was tired from crying. It was you who found a few kind neighbors to help, and finally sent my mother-in-law to the crematorium. Three children The funeral mother-in-law walked so bleakly, but she also had a moving and different kind of decency. "Back to the home where I can no longer hear my mother-in-law's kind call, but it is not as cold as I imagined. It was you who built the coal stove early and put the kettle on. Hua Bin was so hungry that he could still eat the neighbors. You also heated the food for him on the coal stove. That night, when I slept until midnight, I woke up from my dream crying. I couldn’t see my fingers, and my ears were breathing softly. It was my nine-year-old little brother who was Sleep soundly. I felt better in my heart, and just about to wipe away the tears streaming down my cheeks, I suddenly caught a glimpse of a faint light under the door leading to the outer room. "I climbed out of bed and opened the door silently. On the small bed made of two chairs in the middle of the outer room, you curled up into a ball, trembling with your eyes closed, and a small flashlight rolled by the pillow. I couldn't emit much light. I thought you were sick, so I hurried to hold your hand, but it was cold, and you didn't have a fever. You opened your eyes, but they were all red. "'William, Willian, what's the matter with you?' I panicked."