Chapter 46 Part Three, Verse 47: Cicadas on the Eighth Day (47)

"What are your plans? Do you want to stay? Or, do you want to go home?" asked the woman who tied her long gray hair behind her. "If I can stay, I want to stay." "Why? Is there any reason why you can't go home?" Eremia asked immediately. "I'd like to learn a little more," I said, all I could do was make a faint sound that worried the other person's hearing.Four women stared fixedly at me.I looked down under the table and saw four pairs of white canvas shoes.Speaking of this, I suddenly remembered an unimportant thing: Wen Dai also wore snow-white canvas shoes.I haven't seen her since then, where is Wen Dai now?

The four of them stared at me without saying a word, so I had to speak first.I've given it all up.Just like what Jiumei said, please try to please them as much as you can.If I still get chased away, I have no choice but to give up, and I can only try to find a place where I can live with Kaoru. "Study-" "It's study." Eremia corrected me as soon as I opened my mouth. "On the last day of the study, you said that the values ​​you single-mindedly identified may all be unnecessary burdens. I think this may be true. But I haven't reached the point where I fully agree. If you ask me if I am a man or a woman, I will probably still answer me It's a woman. I want to know more. I want to learn how to let go of my troubles and unnecessary burdens. If possible, I don't want to burden this fatherless child with unnecessary burdens. I want her life To be free from pain and trouble."

I finished in one breath.Whether I really think so, or say so to please them, even I am no longer sure.The four of them looked at me without moving.After I closed my mouth, after a moment of silence, the woman with tied hair still stared at me and said: "Have you ever had an abortion before?" I fixed my eyes on her, this woman with unpainted hair and tightly tied hair.Yes, they all know.These women know that Kaoru is not my child.speak.It doesn't matter what you want, as long as you can stay here, it doesn't matter what you want me to do, so please speak up. The heartbeat was so fast that it almost jumped out of the mouth, the hands and knees kept shaking, and the mouth was terribly dry, but in an instant, a certain point in the brain seemed to suddenly wake up and become extraordinarily quiet.I maintained the posture of holding Kaoru, slid off the chair and knelt on the ground, bowing my head deeply as if I was going to kowtow for mercy.

"What I said in sutdy is a lie. That is my wish. I really want to have a child. This child is my ex-boyfriend entrusted me to take care of the child. I want to have a child for him, but I can't. My heart Thinking how good it would be if this baby was mine, sometimes I get unsure. Sometimes I think this baby is mine." The calmer part of my head, listening to myself scream.Tears welled up in my eyes.Whether I was sad, or crying on purpose to show them, even I didn't understand.Tears dripped down the floor.