Chapter 23 Part II, Verse 24: Cicadas on the Eighth Day (24)

Kaoru reached out her little hand to the newspaper I was concentrating on reading, sometimes patting it and sometimes trying to hold it.The newspaper rustled and tore in half.Kaoru smiled happily. fire?That house is on fire? How could there be a fire?How is this going?I tried to remember.I remember the electric heater was on.The fiery red heating wire is still in sight.But how could it catch fire? No, that's not the thing to think about now, the incident has finally been made public.This means that the power to pursue Kaoru is imminent. But the more I reread what was printed in the newspaper, the more I feel that it happened far away.It's like the feeling I had when I read the "poisoning incident is at risk"④ report in the newspaper last year.That has nothing to do with me and Kaoru who are here.Because this child is Kaoru, not some "eri dish".Is it because I aspire to think so?Or is it because I'm missing something?

But then again, what happened to the fire?This bugs me.Terrible thoughts came to mind. Could it be that I did it?Could it be that I deliberately stuffed the blanket into the electric heater?Could it be that I was kicked down?Or I picked up the lighter on the ground, set fire to the bedding spread on the ground, and after confirming the smell of smoke from the flames, I ran away? No, I didn't do that.Before anything else, I have no reason to do that in the first place—no reason?really?Didn't I always keep the matter of being scolded by that woman in my heart?Am I still cursing in my heart that it would be best if she died? —No, but, no.Thinking it would be best for her to die and actually taking action are two completely different things.I didn't light any fire at all.I just saved Kaoru from the fire.Yes, at that time, if I hadn't taken Xun away, the child would have been buried in the fire pit long ago.Only this idea kept spinning in my head.

I stood up, crumpled up the newspaper and threw it away, as if I had never read it in the first place. I was worried that it would not be enough to just eat bottled food and instant weaning food, so I went to the supermarket to buy vegetables and borrowed the woman's kitchen without permission to cook dinner.I use the electric cooker with trepidation, although it is old, fortunately it is not broken.I cooked spinach porridge and anchovies omelette for Kaoru.The leftover spinach is used to make miso soup, as well as stir-fried mixed vegetables and larvae with mashed radish.I wrapped the overcooked food in plastic wrap and put it on the table. When I came out of the shower, the woman probably ate it, and I saw empty plates stacked on the dressing table.

Had a happy discovery today.I found that Kaoru would sit up as long as he put his hands forward on the ground.She sat on the tatami and looked at me obediently.From a distance, I tried to call her over.She couldn't crawl yet, and wanted to move, but fell forward with a thud.But Kaoru didn't cry because of it. The woman told me that if someone came, I would deal with it, but so far no one has come.Even though I knew I shouldn't, I couldn't resist opening the kitchen drawer again.I reopened the mother and child handbook that I had read several times, and read it word by word.At the age of three months, the baby had grown to four kilograms and was already fifty-four centimeters long.In the next month, it will grow to 5.5 kilograms, with a body length of 60 centimeters.After six months of age, I don't know if it has not been measured again, and it is a blank column.There are also a few thin vaccination certificates.I don't know anything about women yet, but looking at this little manual, I seem to understand something.The woman never speaks unless necessary, and has always been expressionless. It is hard to imagine her gesture of giving birth to a premature baby, but thinking that she has indeed done so, there is an incredible sense of peace of mind.