Chapter 22 Chapter 21

Lucy watched the hazy, damp morning with displeasure. Although there was no class scheduled before breakfast on the morning of the results release day, the wake-up bell still rang at 5:30 as usual.The curriculum may be compromised, but the living habits of the campus must not be changed.She tried to fall asleep again, but the day had awakened reality, and the frenzied theories of last night had become cold facts before her eyes.In an hour or two, she was going to hit the detonation button and change the life settings of many people, all of whom she didn't even know were affected.Her heart began to pound again.

Oh my God! Why did she come to this place in the first place? As she got dressed and had some bobby pins in her hair that didn't spoil the look, she realized that she couldn't do it without going to Innes first. Couldn't go to Handa with the rosette.She wasn't sure herself if she was doing it to keep a childish notion of "fair game" in her heart, or if she was just trying to find a way to make her personal responsibility for handling the matter less decisive. She walked to the door of Innes' room and knocked on the door before the impulse died away.She heard the voice of Innes coming back from the bathroom, calculated the time, she should be getting dressed at this time.

Innes who came to open the door looked tired and had heavy eyelids, but he was calm and composed.After meeting her face to face, Lucy found it difficult to see the person in front of her as the same person as Innes who tossed and turned last night. "Could you please come to my room?" Lucy asked. Innes hesitated for a moment. For a second or two, she seemed unsure, and then immediately regained her composure. "Of course." After she finished speaking, she followed behind Lucy. "It rained a lot last night," she said happily. Chatting about the weather is not Innes' usual style.So pleasant and less like Innes.

Lucy took the little silver rosette out of the drawer and showed it to Innes on the palm of her hand. "Do you know what this is?" she asked. The happy expression disappeared in an instant, and Innes' face was heavy and worried. "Where did you get it?" she snapped. At this moment, Lucy realized how different the reality was from what she expected to see Innes in her heart.Unconsciously, she wished that Innes could say, "It's like a decoration on dancing shoes. Many of us have these shoes." Her heart stopped beating, and it sank straight into her stomach.

"I picked it up early yesterday morning on the gym floor," she said. The expression of heavy worry turned into a touch of despair. "Why did you show it to me?" Innes asked feebly. "Because I know you're the only one in school with those old-fashioned loafers." There was silence, and Lucy put the little floral ornament on the table and waited. "Am I wrong?" she finally said. "No." It was quiet again. "You don't understand, Miss Ping," she burst out, "that it wasn't meant to be—I know you must think I'm whitewashing, but it wasn't meant to be—in the first place. Because I couldn't accept I didn't get the Allingo job myself—I was out of my mind for a while—I acted like an idiot. I had no other thoughts in my mind except Allinga. It was just a way—a way to get I have a method of second chances. Never expected it to turn out this way. You gotta believe it. You gotta—"

' "Of course I do. If I didn't, I wouldn't be showing you this now." She was referring to the rosette. After a while, Innes said, "What are you going to do now?" "Oh, God, I don't know." Poor Lucy, helpless in the face of reality.The crimes she knew came from popular detective novels: all the protagonists in the books, no matter how suspicious, were always innocent; Totally remove everything.The relatives and friends of the protagonists of these case records must have felt the same way as she does now, but this thought did not make her feel any better or get any direction from it.This kind of thing seems to happen only to other people - if what is written in the newspaper is completely true, these things will happen every day - but it will never happen to me.

What does it take for a person to believe that the person they talked, laughed, loved, and shared their life with is responsible for another person's death? She found herself telling Innes about the sleepless night about her The theory of "determination" and how reluctant I am to ruin the lives of a bunch of people because of the crime of one person.She was too absorbed in her own problems to ignore the hope gradually emerging in Innes' eyes.When she heard herself say, "Of course, you have nothing to gain from Ruth's death," she realized that she had gone on a path she hadn't intended to take, and had been for a long time.

But Innes caught on to this. "Oh, I won't, Miss Ping. And it has nothing to do with you picking up this little flower ornament.When I heard the news of her death last night, I knew I couldn't go to Alinga.I was going to talk to Miss He Ju about this this morning.I didn't sleep last night either. There are so many things to face.It wasn't just my responsibility for Ruth's death—I couldn't accept failure.But there's also—oh, some other stuff you won't be interested in knowing. "She paused for a moment, looking at Lucy. 'Look, Miss Ping, if I spent my whole life confessing what happened yesterday morning, would you-would you-'" After his opinion, Innes was still unable to complete such a presumptuous suggestion with words.

"Accomplice to a crime?" The cold but legal sentence made Innes flinch. "No. I don't think anyone can be forced to do such a thing. But, you know, I'm willing to atone, and with absolute sincerity. My life for—hers. I'm willing to do it with all my heart." "Of course I believe you, but how do you plan to atone?" "I thought a lot about it last night. I was thinking of starting out with service in a leprosy area, or something like that, but it really doesn't have much to do with Lai's training. I had a better idea and decided to help my father.

I didn't want to go into medical work before, but I'm pretty good at it, and there is no better orthopedic clinic than my hometown. " "Sounds good," said Lucy, "but what's the point of the confession?" "I have always had an ambition since I was a little girl, to leave that small city and attend classes at Lai's Academy, which is my passport to a free world." "I understand." "Believe me, Miss Ping, this is definitely redemption, but this is not a monotonous and meaningless act, not an act of self-flagellation. I will use my life to do something meaningful, a kind of—in exchange for something of real value .”

"Yes, I understand." Another long period of silence. The preparation bell rang, but for the first time since Lucy entered Lai's Academy, she was not aware of the bell. "Of course there's no guarantee other than what I say—" "I am willing to accept your verbal pledge." "Thank you." Lucy thought, this should be the easiest solution.If you want to punish Innes and make her life boring, it seems that it is not harsh enough to just give meaning.Of course, she lost the chance to go to Alingo, which is part of the price she paid, but are these prices enough to pay for the death penalty? However, what can pay for life? Only life for life. Innes's proposal was obviously to allow himself to live in death.Maybe, it wasn't such a bad quid pro quo after all. What she, Lucy, is facing at this moment is her own deliberation, and the struggle of various inner voices, all fused into one simple question: is she going to sentence the girl standing in front of her to death? Simple.If she had brought the little rosette to Handa this morning, Innes would have been dead before the first students of the new term at Lai's Academy returned in the fall.If she hadn't died, she would have spent her youth in situations where life was worse than death. Let her be imprisoned in the prison of her choice, where she may be a useful person to the folk. Of course, she, Lucy Ping, was not up to the task of sentencing. That's all. "I trust you completely," she said slowly to Innes, "for I cannot send anyone to the gallows. I know what my duty is, but I cannot do it." How strange, she thought Well, she should be the one expressing awe at me, not the other way around! Innes stared at her suspiciously. "You mean—" her tongue slid over dry lips, "you won't tell about the rosette?" "Yeah, I'll never tell." Innes' face turned pale suddenly. Lucy found that she had only read about such paleness in books, but had never witnessed it with her own eyes.This is what people say: "dead white like a bed sheet".Ugh, maybe not like bleached sheets, but definitely "a dead white". Innes stretched out his hand to support the chair next to the dressing table, and sat down abruptly.Seeing Lucy's anxious expression, she said: "It's okay, I'm not going to pass out. I've never passed out in my life. I'll be fine in a minute." Lucy, struggling between self-control and compromise—and Innes, she thought, was very clever at seeing this—feeled something like a conscience. It seems to be a cliché that emotions overcome, but there will always be retribution. "Would you like some water?" Lucy said, walking to the sink. "No, thanks, I'm fine. It's just that I've been terrified for the past twenty-four hours, and seeing that silver trinket was the final blow. And then, all of a sudden, it's over and you gave me Probation, and—and—” She choked up and couldn't speak.Choked deeply, but not a single tear.She put her hand over her mouth, trying to stop the whimpering, but it couldn't stop, so she covered her face, trying to stay calm.Useless. She put her hands on the table, buried her head in them, and sobbed out her heart mournfully. Lucy looked at her and thought: If it were any other girl, it would probably be like this at the beginning.They will use this as a weapon to beg for my sympathy.But Innes will not.Innes is reserved, indifferent, and proposes an exchange. If it weren't for the current breakdown, no one would know she was suffering.Her present frenzy mirrored her previous torment. The first ringing of the bell gradually intensified from a low hum. Innes heard it and struggled to stand up. "Excuse me," she said, "I'm going to take some cold water to stop myself." Lucy thought it was admirable that this girl could still prescribe her prescriptions like a bystander in such a state of extreme tension and choking, as if she were not the same person as the hysterical girl, but calm and calm deal with yourself. "Okay, let's go," said Lucy. Innes put his hand on the doorknob. "One day, I will be able to thank you properly." She said and went out. Lucy pocketed the little rosette and went downstairs to breakfast.