Chapter 10 chapter Ten

A voice said, "Drink this." Norma was shaking.Her eyes were blank.She retracted her body a little in the chair, and repeated the order for her: "Drink this." This time she obediently drank it and coughed a few times. "Too—too strong," she said. "You'll feel better after drinking it, and you'll be much better in a few minutes. Sit quietly and wait a while." The discomfort and dizziness that confused her earlier gradually disappeared.Her cheeks began to regain their original color, and the trembling stopped.She looked around for the first time, noticing her surroundings.She had been bewitched by fear and terror for a while, and now she seemed to have returned to normal.This is not a very big room, and the furnishings in the room are vaguely familiar.A desk, a couch, an armchair, an ordinary chair, and on another table a stethoscope and other instruments, which she believed to be used for eye problems.Afterwards, her attention shifted from the general situation to the specific target: the man who asked her to drink.

She saw a man in his thirties, red-haired, ugly and beautiful. It was a wrinkled but meaningful face. He nodded to her reassuringly. "Is your head starting to clear up now?" "I—I think so. I—are you—what the hell happened?" "You don't remember?" "Lots of traffic. Heading toward me—I—" She looked at him and said, "I got run over." "Oh, no, you didn't get run over." He shook his head and said, "I pulled you back." "you?" "Well, you were in the middle of the road, and a car was coming towards you, and I pulled you out. What are you doing in the driveway?"

"I can't remember. I—oh, yes, I think I must have been thinking." "A Jaguar sports car is coming fast toward you, and another bus goes by on the other side. That sports car is trying to run you over, isn't it?" "I—no, no, I don't think so. I mean, I—" "Oh, I'm wondering—maybe there's another reason, isn't it?" "What do you mean?" "It was, you know, probably intentional." "Intentionally? What do you mean?" "Frankly, I wondered if you were looking for death on purpose?" He added lightly, "Really?"

"I—no—er—no, of course not." "If you really mean that, you'd be too stupid." His tone changed slightly: "Tell me the truth, you will always remember something." She started shaking again. "I was thinking—I thought that would be the end of it. I thought—" "So you want to die, don't you? What's the matter? You can tell me. Boyfriend? That's unbearable. Besides, some people often hope that if they kill themselves, they will You're going to regret it - but it's best not to think about it. Most people don't like to regret, or feel that something is their fault. The most your boyfriend can say is: 'I always thought she It's not right, it's actually the best way." Next time you want to hit a jaguar, you better remember what I said, in fact, even jaguars have feelings. Is this your trouble? Boyfriend Dumped you?"

"No," said Norma, "it's not. On the contrary, she said suddenly, "He's going to marry me. " "That's not enough to make you hit a Jaguar." "Yes, of course. I'm because—" She broke off again. "You'd better tell me the truth, are you?" "How did I get here?" Norma asked. "I hired a taxi to take you here. You probably weren't injured, I think there were a few scrapes at most. You were just shocked and dumbfounded, and I asked for your address and you just looked at me like you didn't understand What am I talking about. The crowd is getting more and more crowded, so I called a taxi to take you here."

"Is this—is the doctor's office?" "This is the doctor's office. I'm a doctor. My name is Stilling Freed." "I don't want to see a doctor! I don't want to talk to a doctor! I don't want to—" "Calm down, come on. You've been talking to a doctor for ten minutes. What's wrong with the doctor? Tell me." "I'm afraid. I'm afraid the doctor will say—" "Don't do this. My dear, you didn't pay me to see a doctor. Just treat me as a nosy outsider and save your life, so that you don't have a broken arm, a broken leg, or even a serious head injury. It cripples you for life. There are other troubles. Before, if you committed suicide intentionally, you had to go to court. Even now, if it is proved that you committed suicide, it is the same. So, you can't say that I am not sincere enough. In order to thank me, you should at least confess to me and tell me why you are afraid of doctors. How did doctors treat you before?"

"No. They didn't do anything to me. But I'm afraid they might—" "What will happen?" "Shut me up." Dr. Stelling Fried looked at her with raised sandy eyebrows. "Oh, well," he said, "you seem to have a very peculiar opinion of doctors. Why should I lock you up? Would you like a cup of tea?" And he said, "Or a pill Purple Heart Pills or Tranquilizers or something. Isn't that sort of thing a favorite thing for people your age to play with? You take it yourself a lot, don't you?" She shook her head. "No—not really."

"I don't believe it. Let's not talk about it, but why are you so frightened and depressed? Are you mentally ill? Are you? I shouldn't have said that.In fact, doctors don't want to lock up all the patients. The mental hospital is already overcrowded, and they can't even squeeze in.In fact, they've released quite a few people recently—those who should continue to be well locked up.Everywhere in this country is crowded as hell. " "Well," he went on, "how do you like it? Do you want something from my medicine cabinet, or a really good strong English tea?"

"I—I'd like some tea," said Norma. "Indian tea or Chinese tea? That's the way to ask customers, isn't it? By the way, I don't know if I have Chinese tea here." "I prefer Indian tea." "it is good." He walked to the door, opened it and shouted, "Annie, here's a pot of tea for the two of us." He came back and sat down and said, "Now, miss, you listen carefully. By the way, what's your name?" "Norma Rae—" She stopped. "Norma what?" "Norma West." "Well, Miss West, we'd better get things straight. I'm not treating you, and you're not seeing me. You're a victim of an accident in the street—it's up to us, and I'm sure you'd like to It would certainly be unfair to the driver of the Jaguar to make such a determination."

"I wanted to jump off the bridge at first." "Really? You'll know it's not easy. Bridge builders are very careful these days. I mean you have to climb the railing, and it's not easy, and someone's going to stop you. Well, go on with me. In my opinion, I brought you back because you were too frightened to give me your address. For what reason?" "I don't have an address. I—I don't live anywhere." "Interesting," said Dr. Stelling Friedman, "you are one of those people who are called 'dwellers.' So what do you do - sit on the bank all night? "

She looked at him puzzled. "I could report the accident to the police, but I'm not obliged. I'd rather think that you crossed the road without looking left first, in a girlish reverie." "You're not at all the doctor I had in mind," Norma said. "Really? I'm growing tired of my business here in this country. In fact, I've decided to close my practice here and open it in Australia two weeks later. So you should have nothing to worry about. If you want, tell me you saw pink elephants come out of the walls, big trees reached out and grabbed you and tried to strangle you, or you know when monsters poke out of people's eyes Such wonderful fantasies, and I don't care about anything! If you don't mind, I think you are very sane." "I don't think so myself." "Well, perhaps you're right," said Dr. Stilling Fried generously, "so tell me your reasons." "I don't remember anything about me... I tell people what I do, but I don't remember telling them..." "You seem to have a bad memory." "You don't understand me. Those things are—evil things." "Religious mania? That's famous." "Not religious. Just—just hate." After a knock on the door, an old woman came in with a tea tray, she put the tea tray on the table and went out. "With sugar?" said Dr. Sterling Friedman. "Okay, thank you." "You've got brains. It's good to have some sugar after a fright." He poured two cups of tea and put one on her side with the sugar bowl beside it. "Okay," he said, sitting down, "where are we talking about? Oh, yes, hate." "It's possible, isn't it? When one hates another to the extreme, one wants to kill them?" "Well, yes," said Dr. Stelling Freed, still lightly, "very possible. In fact, quite normal. But even if you really wanted to do it, you usually don't have the courage to do it, you know." There is a brake system in the human body, and it will stop for you when the time is right and necessary." "It's very common for you to say it," Norma said, with obvious annoyance in her tone. "It's natural. A child feels this almost every day, and when he loses his temper, he says to his mother or father, 'You're so bad, I hate you, you might as well die.' Most mothers compare Sensible, usually don't make much fuss. When you grow up, you will hate people, but then you won't go to so much trouble to kill. If you still kill-then, you will go to jail. That is to say , you really hate doing such a bad and difficult thing. Seriously, you're not kidding me, are you?" He asked casually. "Of course not." Norma sat up straight.Anger flickered in his eyes. "Of course not. Do you think I'd tell you such terrible things if it wasn't true?" "Well," said Dr. Stilling Fried, "people do that too. They tell horrible things about themselves, and it makes them happy." He took the empty glass from her hand. "Now, then," he said: "You'd better tell me everything you have on your mind. Whom do you hate, why do you hate them, and what are you going to do with them?" "Love breeds hate." "It's like the words in a popular love song. But don't forget that hate can also make love. This is a two-line thing. You still said it's not about your boyfriend. He is your lover but betrayed you. Not this time thing, eh?" "No, no. It's not that kind of thing. It's—it's my stepmother." "Motives like a vicious stepmother. But how ridiculous, you are old enough to get rid of your stepmother. Besides marrying your father, what did she do to be sorry? Do you hate him too? Or are you too old?" Love him, don't share it with others?" "Not at all, not at all. I loved him before, very much. He was—I think he was wonderful." "Now," said Dr. Sterling Freed, "listen to me. I have an idea. Do you see the door over there?" Norma turned her head and looked at the door with a full face. "An ordinary door, isn't it? It has no lock, and it can be opened and closed like an ordinary door. Go, try it yourself. You saw my butler come in and go out there, didn't you? Not a hallucination. Come on." , stand up, and do as I tell you." Norma stood up from the chair, walked to the door rather hesitantly and opened it. She stood between the cracks of the door, turning her head to look at him suspiciously. "Right. What did you see? A very ordinary hallway, which was supposed to be refurbished, and then thought it was going to Australia anyway, so it wasn't worth it. Now go to the front door and open it, it's also uninhibited. Walk out to the sidewalk Go up, and you'll know that I have absolutely no intention of locking you up. Then, when you're satisfied that you can walk out of this place at any time, come back, sit in that comfy chair, and get your affairs in order. Tell me carefully. After that, I will give you valuable advice. Of course, you don't have to take it," he reassured her. "People rarely take advice, but you might as well take it. Understand? Agree?" Norma walked out of the house slowly and somewhat staggeringly, walked to—what the doctor described—a very ordinary corridor, opened the front door lightly, walked down four stone steps, and stood on the side of the street. On the pavement, the houses here are quite elegant, but not distinctive.She stood there for a while, unaware that Dr. Stelling Fried was watching her through the shutters.She stood for two minutes, then turned with some more will, went up the stone steps again, closed the front door, and came back into the room. "Nothing?" said Dr. Stanley Freed. "Don't worry, I'm not playing any tricks with you, are I? It's all clear and above board." The girl nodded. "That's right. Sit down and take it easy. Do you smoke?" "Uh, I—" "Only pot—what kind? Never mind, you don't have to tell me." "Of course I don't smoke that stuff." "I'm not going to say 'of course,' but I should take what the patient tells me. Well, now tell me about yourself." "I—I don't know. There's really nothing to talk about. Won't you tell me to lie down on the couch?" "Oh, are you talking about those dreams you remember or something? No, you don't have to. You know, I just want to know a little bit about your background. Where did you come from, did you grow up in the country or did you grow up in the city? Brothers and sisters, or an only child, etc. Were you devastated when your own biological mother passed away? " "Of course I'm sad." Norma said angrily. "You're too fond of taking things for granted, Miss West. Seriously, West isn't your real last name, is it? Heck, never mind, I don't really want to know anyway. You say the surname is Xi, Dong or Bei, it's up to you.What happened after your mother died? " "Before she passed away, she was disabled and often went to a nursing home. I lived with an aunt in Daiwangzhou. She was very old, and she was not my real aunt, but my mother's cousin. Later, I Father came back, just six months ago. At that time—it was so beautiful." Her face suddenly brightened.She was unaware of the quick, keen glance that the easy-going young doctor gave her. "I hardly remember him, you know. He left home when I was about five years old, and I didn't expect to see him again. Mother didn't mention him much when she was alive. At first, I think, she expected him to Will put down that woman and come back." "That woman?" "Yes. He ran off with another woman. She was a bad woman, my mother said. My mother gnashed her teeth when she talked about her, and she hated about her father, too, but I used to think maybe— —Maybe father is not as bad as she said, it should be because of that woman." "Are they married?" "No. Mother said never to divorce my father. She's—is that called the Episcopalian?—a very strict church, you know. Like Catholicism, she doesn't do divorce." "Did they live together? What's the woman's name, maybe it's a secret too?" "I can't remember her last name," said Norma, shaking her head. "No, I don't think they lived together very long, but I don't know much about these things. They went to South Africa, and I think they fell out. They parted soon after; because that's when Ma said she hoped maybe Father would come back, but he didn't, he didn't even write a letter. Not even to me. He only sent me something at Christmas, There are always gifts." "He likes you very much?" "I don't know, how should I know? No one ever talks about him. Only Uncle Simon—his brother, you know. He's a businessman in town, and he's angry because his father left everything. He Said that his father has always been like this, he can't settle down to do anything, but he also said that he is not a bad person, but his personality is too weak. I don't often see Uncle Simon. I always stay with my mother's friends , probably boring as hell. I've been bored all my life... "Ah, my father is really coming back, I'm thinking how great this is.I try to think of him in good ways: like the things he said, the games I played.He used to be good at making me laugh.I tried to find some photos of his life or solo photos, but they seemed to be thrown away, and I guess my mother must have ripped them all out. " "Then she's always holding a grudge." "I think it's Louise she really hates." "Louis?" He noticed that the girl suddenly seemed a little reserved. "I don't remember—I told you—I don't remember the name." "Never mind. You're talking about the woman who ran off with your father. Was it her?" "Yes. Mom says she's drinking and doing drugs and it's not going to end well." "But you don't know if something is wrong with her?" "I don't know anything." ... Her emotions were agitated again. "I hope you don't ask me these questions! I don't know anything about her! I've never heard of her since! I'd have forgotten her if you didn't tell me. I tell you, I don't know anything." .” "Yes, yes," said Dr. Stelling Freed, "you don't have to be so angry. There's no need to worry about the past. Let's think about the future. What will you do in the future?" Norma sighed deeply. "I don't know. I have nowhere to go, I can't—I think it's best—I know I'm best—dead—just—" "Just can't try again, can you? You'd be too foolish to do that again, and that will tell you, my dear lady. Well, suppose you have nowhere to go. There's no one to turn to; then, Do you have money?" "Yes, I have an account in the bank. My father deposits a lot of money for me every month, but I don't know...I think, maybe, they are looking for me now, and I don't want them to find me." "You don't have to let them find it. I'll arrange it for you. There's a place called Kenway Park, which isn't as good as the name. It's a nursing home for people to recuperate. There's no doctor or psychoanalysis, and I don't Guaranteed you will not be locked up there, you are free to leave whenever you want. You can have breakfast in bed, sleep all day without getting up and no one will disturb you. You rest there, I will visit you, and then we will Let's solve your problems together. How do you like this? Are you willing?" Norma looked at him.She sat blankly, staring at him; slowly, she nodded. Later that day, Dr. Stelling Fried made a phone call. "It was a good kidnapping," he said, "and she's in Kenwell Park now, and she came with me like a lamb. I can't report to you in detail just yet.This girl is on too many drugs.From what I can see, she has taken purple hearts, dream bombs, and maybe hallucinogens... She may have been addicted for a long time.She said she didn't eat it, but I didn't quite believe her. " He listened to the other party for a while. "Don't ask me! Be cautious about such things. She gets angry easily... Indeed, she seems to be afraid of something, maybe pretending to be afraid of something..." I don't know yet, it's hard to say.Don't forget, people who take this drug are very slippery, and you can't always listen to what they say.I didn't push her too much, and I didn't want to scare her..." When she was a child, she had complicated emotions attached to her father. I don't think she really liked her mother, because her mother was a gloomy woman in every way, a self-righteous woman. She is a kind of chaste daughter. Her father seems to be a very optimistic person, and he may not be able to bear that kind of lifeless married life——Do you know a woman named Louise?... This name seems to scare her—— In my opinion she was the first person this girl hated. She snatched the father away when the boy was five years old. Children of that age, although not very sensible, quickly developed a hatred for people who caused trouble.Apparently, she hadn't seen her father again until a few months ago.I see her dreaming all the time—she is her father's companion and the apple of his eye. Of course she was disappointed.Father has brought a new wife, not to mention a young and beautiful one, her name is Louise, is she not? ...nothing, I'm just asking.I'm just giving you an outline, a general situation. " The other party on the phone said loudly: "What are you talking about? Say it again." "I said I only gave you a general situation." The two sides paused for a while. "Oh, by the way, there's a little festival that might interest you. This girl tried to kill herself, but she did it clumsily. Are you surprised by this? ..." "Oh, you're not surprised... No, she didn't swallow a big bottle of aspirin and stick her head in a gas oven. She ran into the fast lane and was going to hit a jaguar that was going too fast Go up, and I'll tell you that it's fortunate that I pulled her at the right time... Yes, I think it was a spur of the moment... She admitted it herself. It's the same old saying-she's going to 'get it done'." After listening to the other party's continuous speech, he said again: "I don't know. At this stage, I can't be sure--according to what I know so far, the facts are obvious. She is a nervous girl, neurotic, plus eating There are too many kinds of drugs, and it seems to be over-stressed. No, I can’t tell you which one. At present, there are more than a dozen kinds of drugs of this kind, and each has slightly different effects. It may cause Confusion, loss of memory, temper tantrums, confusion, or turning into a dummy! The difficulty was distinguishing her own real reactions from those caused by the drugs. Thus, there are two possibilities.Or, the girl is delusional, sees herself as neurotic, mentally ill, and claims to be suicidal.This is actually very possible.Otherwise, she is a lie.I don't rule out the possibility that, for some ambiguous reason, she may deliberately give others the impression of a complete disguise.If so, she has done a very good job.Occasionally, there will always be some traces of what she said that cannot be justified. Is she a good actress?Or is it simply a semi-imbecile, suicidal patient?Both are possible... what did you say? ...Oh, that Jaguar! ...Indeed, it was going too fast.What, you think it might not necessarily be a suicide attempt?Maybe the jaguar was going to kill her on purpose? " He thought for a moment. "It's hard for me to say," he said slowly, "but maybe. Yes, maybe, it's just that I never thought of it. The trouble is that anything is possible, isn't it? Anyway, I would Get some more out of her mouth now. I can make her trust me at least halfway now, as long as I am careful not to push her too far, too fast, so as to arouse her suspicion. She will slowly understand I am more confident that if she is really mentally ill, she will tell me what is in her heart—in the end, I won’t listen to it. At present, she still has some kind of fear in her heart... "Of course, if she is playing tricks and leading us astray, then we can only find out why she wants to do this.She is currently in Kenwell Park, and I think she will stay.I suggest that you send someone to keep an eye on her for a day or two, and if she tries to slip away, then the person she doesn't know and who is in charge of guarding her had better follow her.