Chapter 2 CHAPTER ONE YOUNG ADVENTURERS LIMITED

"Tommy, old friend!" "Tuppence, old friend!" The two young men greeted each other affectionately and for a moment blocked the exit of the Dover Street Underground.The adjective "old" is misleading.Their combined ages were doubtless less than forty-five. "Long time no see you," the young man went on, "where have you been? Come eat buns with me.It's a bit of a nuisance that we're standing here—blocking the passage.Let's get out of here. " The girl agreed, and they proceeded down Dover Street towards Piccadilly. "Where are we going, then?" said Tommy.

The slightly anxious tone of his speech did not escape the keen ears of Miss Prudence Cowley.For some mysterious reason her closest friends called her "Tuppence."Hearing Tommy's question, she jumped up. "Tommy, you have a heart of stone!" "Not at all," said Tommy incredulously, "I'm rich." "You have always been a bad liar," said Tuppence sternly, "though you did once convince Matron Greenbank that the doctor gave you beer as a tonic, but forgot to write the order in the On the registration form. Do you remember?" Tommy smiled softly.

"I may think I did! Wasn't the old wretch very angry when she found out? Leaving aside that she's a real badass, old Mother Greenbank: what a good old hospital--like all the rest Both are dismissed, right?" Tuppence sighed. "Yes. Do you think so too?" Tommy nodded. "Two months ago." "Retirement bonus?" suggested Tuppence. "Spent." "Oh, Tommy!" "No, old friend, it's not that you're wasting money, and you haven't had that kind of luck! Cost of living—the ordinary, ordinary cost of living these days. I tell you, if you don't understand..."

"My dear boy," interrupted Tuppence, "I know all about the cost of living. We went to the Leon's and paid our separate bills. That's it." Tuppence led the way upstairs. go. The restaurant was full, and they walked up and down looking for an empty table, overhearing sporadic conversations. "Well, you know, when I told her I couldn't get an apartment, she sat down and cried." "Gee, it's just a bargain. Like the one Mabel Lewis bought from Paris..." "People do overhear funny bits and pieces," Tommy murmured. "I passed two fellows on the street today, and they were talking about a Jane Finn. You hear Ever had a name like that?"

Just then, however, the two older ladies got up to pack their parcels, and Tuppence sat deftly in one of the vacant seats. Tommy ordered tea and buns.Tuppence ordered tea and buttered toast. "Be careful to use two teapots when serving tea," she added harshly. Tommy sat across from her, his bald head showing a bunch of red hair carefully brushed back.His face was ugly but tolerable--it was hard to put his face into any category, but it was undeniably a gentleman's and a sportsman's.The brown suit he had on was well cut, but very worn. There they sat, a total posh couple.Tuppence was far from beautiful, with the pixie lines of her small face, the firm jaw, and the large, well-set gray eyes, which looked dreamily from under straight black brows. Go, show personality and charisma.She wore a small emerald-green toque over her cropped black hair, and her skirt, which was too short and shabby, revealed a pair of unusually beautiful feet.Her appearance reveals a spirit of daring, shrewd and capable.

Tea came at last, and Tuppence, aroused from a moment of thought, poured it into a cup. Tommy took a big bite out of the bread and said, "Well, let's start with the latest. Remember, I haven't seen you since 1916, when you were in the hospital." "Very well," said Tuppence, eating casually the buttered toast, "a brief biography of Miss Prudence Cowley, fifth daughter of Little Sandell Archie Deacon Cowley. Cow Miss Leigh left the joys of her home life (and the drudgery of her job) early in the war to come to London, where she was admitted to an officers' hospital. First month: six hundred and forty-eight dishes a day. Second Month: Ascension to dry the said plate.Third month: Ascension to peel potatoes.

Fourth Month: Elevate cut bread and butter.Fifth month: Ascension to the first floor, with a mop and bucket to do the ward maid's work.Sixth month: Elevate to table service. Seventh month: Lovely appearance and good manners are so striking that she is promoted to attend the matron.Eighth month: Career is slightly hindered.Nurse Bond ate Nurse Westhaven's eggs!An argument!Clearly the ward orderly is to blame!It cannot be too much to blame for being careless in such an important matter.Get your mop and bucket back!How heavy was the fall!Ninth month: Promoted to clean the ward, where I ran into Lieutenant Thomas Beresford, a childhood friend (bows, Tommy!) whom I hadn't seen in five years.What a touching meeting: Tenth month: Scolded by the head nurse for going to the cinema with a patient, the aforementioned Lieutenant Thomas Beresford.Eleventh and Twelfth Months: Parlor maid, regain full success.

At the end of the year, he left the hospital in a burst of glory.Then the talented Miss Cowley drove vans, trucks, and a general in succession.This last job is the most enjoyable.He is a very young general! " "What kind of a fellow is that?" asked Tommy. "Those big guys drive from the Ministry of Defense to the Savoy, and from the Savoy to the Ministry of Defense. It's disgusting!" "I forget his name at the moment," admitted Tuppence, "and then, in a way, it was the pinnacle of my career. Then I went into a government service. We had some very pleasant tea parties. I was going to round out my career by being a girl doing ground jobs like postman, bus conductor - but the truce came in. I did my job for months but, woohoo, I ended up getting ticked Come out. I've been looking for a job since then. Now, it's your turn."

"I haven't had so much advancement in my career," Tommy regretted, "nor so much variety. As you know, I went to France again.Then they sent me to Mesopotamia, where I was wounded a second time and ended up in the hospital.Then I was stuck in Egypt until the armistice, and I stayed in Egypt for some time.As I told you, it was finally dismissed.For ten months, long and weary, I have been looking for work: there is no work: and, if there is, they will not give it to me.What use am I?What do I know about business?Know nothing. " Tuppence nodded sadly. "How about the colony?" asked Tuppence indirectly.

Tommy shook his head. "I don't like the colonies—I'm fully convinced they don't like me either:" "Rich relatives?" Tommy shook his head again. "Oh, Tommy, isn't there even an aunt?" "I have an old uncle who has some money, but he's useless." "Why didn't it work?" "He tried to adopt me once, and I said no." "I think I remember hearing it," said Tuppence, "that you refused on account of your mother." Tommy blushed. "Yeah, maybe a little too much for my old lady. You know, I'm all she has. The old guy hates her—want to take me away from her. Just a little resentment."

"Your mother's dead, isn't she?" said Tuppence gently. Tommy nodded. Tuppence's large gray eyes were moist. "You're a nice guy, Tommy. I've always thought so." "Nonsense!" said Tommy in a bad mood. "Well, that's where I am. I'm almost desperate." "Me too: I try to hang on. I ask around. My school advertises for jobs. I try all kinds of really nasty things. I try and save as much as I can, but it doesn't work. I have to go home." Tommy asked, "Don't you want to go home?" "Indeed I don't. What's the use of being sentimental? My father was a sweet and lovely man - I liked him very much - but you can't imagine how much I worry about him! He held the early Victorian view that short skirts and smoking were immoral As you can imagine, I was a thorn in his side and a thorn in his flesh! He just let out a sigh of relief when the war made me leave the house. You see, there were seven people in the family. It was horrible! All the housework and Mother's religious gathering! I was always the ugly and stupid weird kid.I don't want to go back home, but—oh, Tommy, what else can I do? " Tommy shook his head sadly. After a silence, Tuppence said suddenly: "Money, money, money! Money makes me dream! I dare say I work for money, that's all!" "It's the same here," Tommy agreed affectionately. "I've been trying, too, to think of various ways of getting money," went on Tuppence. "There are only three ways: inherit a sum, marry with it, or earn it. The first is out of my mind, I haven't." Any rich elderly relative. Any of my relatives are old wretched old ladies: I always help them through. Pick up packages for old gentlemen if they're millionaires with eccentricities. But none of them ever asked my name—many didn't even say 'Thank you.'” There was a pause. "Of course," continued Tuppence, "marriage is my best chance. I made up my mind to marry money when I was very young. Any thinking girl would do that. I don't feel sentimental, you know." She After a pause, "Listen, you can't call me sentimental," she added sharply. "Of course not," Tommy agreed hastily. "Nobody thinks of being sentimental about you." "That's not very polite," replied Tuppence, "but I dare say you mean well. Well, that's it! I'm ready and willing—but I've never met any rich man! All the young men I've known People are about as poor as I am." "What about the general?" Tommy asked. "I imagine him opening a bicycle shop in peacetime," Tuppence explained. "No, that's it! Now you can marry a rich girl." "Like you, I don't know any rich girls." "Never mind. You can always get to know one. Second, if I see a man in a fur coat coming out of the Ritz, I can't run after him and say, 'Look, you're rich and I want to know you.' " "Are you suggesting I should do that to a lady in a similar attire?" "Don't be a fool. You step on her foot, or pick up her handkerchief, or something like that. If she thinks you want to make her acquaintance, she's flattered, and will try to arrange it for you somehow. " "You overestimate my manly charm," murmured Tommy. "On the other hand," continued Tuppence, "my millionaire is likely to pursue his own life: no—marriage is full of difficulties. All that remains is to make money!" "We tried, but it didn't work," Tommy reminded her. "We've tried all the orthodox ways, yes. But what if we tried all the orthodox ways. Tommy, let's be adventurers!" replied Tommy cheerfully, "Of course, but how do we get started?" "It's difficult. If we make ourselves known, people might hire us to do crime for them." "It's delightful," went on Tommy, "especially from a priest's daughter!" Tuppence pointed out: "The moral guilt is theirs—not mine. You must admit that there is a difference between stealing a diamond necklace for yourself and being hired to steal it." "If you get caught, it makes no difference!" "Probably not. I won't get caught. I'm smart." "Humility is always a sin that haunts you," said Tommy. "No kidding. Look, Tommy, what do we really want to do? Shall we be business partners?" "Start a company that steals diamond necklaces?" "That's just an illusion. Let's have a—what's your name when you keep your books?" "Don't know. Never did." "I kept accounts - but I kept mixing things up and used to debit deposits, or vice versa - so they fired me. Oh, I know one-one partnerships!Among the musty numbers, I suddenly thought of such a romantic phrase. It has an Elizabethan taste - reminiscent of galleons and Spanish gold coins.Partnership! " "Doing business under the name Young Adventurers Ltd., is that your idea, Tuppence?" "Funny. But I think there might be something in it." "How are you going to get in touch with your potential employer?" "Advertisement," replied Tuppence quickly, "have you got paper and pencil? It seems that men usually carry paper and pencil with them, just as we women carry bobby pins and powder puffs." Tommy handed over a rather battered green notebook, and Tuppence began to write briskly. "We could start like this: 'Young officer, wounded twice in the war' Of course not. " "Oh, very well, dear. But I can assure you, that sort of thing might strike a spinster's heart, and she might adopt you, and then you'd have no need at all to be a young adventurer." "I don't want to be adopted." "I forgot you were biased about it. I was only kidding you! The papers are full of that kind of thing. Listen, how about writing this?" Two young adventurers for hire. Willing to do anything, go anywhere. The pay should be good.' (We might as well make that clear from the outset.) Then we could add: 'No fair offers - like apartments and furniture - are not turned down.'" "I think that any offer we get for this It should be quite unreasonable price!" "Tommy! You're a genius! That's so chic. 'Don't turn down unreasonable offers—if they're paid well.' How about that?" "I don't want to mention the pay anymore. That seems like a lot to ask for." "It can't look as rushed as I feel. Maybe you're right, though. Now, I'll read it all the way through." Two young adventurers on offer. Willing to do anything, go anywhere , the remuneration should be generous, and the bid beyond reason should not be rejected. 'If you read it, what is your impression?" "It gave me the impression that it was either a hoax or written by a lunatic." "I read an ad this morning that started with 'Petunias' and signed 'The Most Desirable Boy.' Our ad isn't half as crazy." She tore off the written page and It was handed to Tommy. "Here you are. The Times, I think. Reply to so-and-so. I estimate the advertisement at about five shillings. Here's a half-crown, two and a half shillings, for my share." Tommy held the paper thoughtfully, his face red as a liver. "Are we really going to try it?" he said at last. "Tuppence, are we going to do this? Or is it just for fun?" "Tommy, you're such a gentleman! I knew you would! Let's toast to success." She poured some cold tea dregs into two teacups. "Here's to our partnership and may it prosper in business: " "Young Adventurers Ltd!" Tommy responded. They put down their teacups and laughed uncertainly. Tuppence got up: "It's time for me to get back to my splendid room in the guest house." It might be time for me to wander over to the Ritz. Tommy grinned in agreement. "Where do we meet?"What time? " "Twelve o'clock tomorrow. Piccadilly tube station. Will you?" "I have plenty of time," replied Mr. Beresford grandly. "Goodbye, then." "Goodbye, old friend." The two young men each walked in opposite directions.Tuppence's Guest House is located in the town compassionately known as South Belgravia.For reasons of economy, she did not take the bus. She was walking along St James's Street when a man's voice behind her startled her. "I'm sorry," the man said, "may I speak to you for a moment?"