Chapter 40 Section five

In the early morning, Bimogan Pasurpin was lying on the leopard-skin bed with his upper body bare. The woman's gentle hands pressed his back, and thinly applied the oil on his brown back. Penetrate slowly. Bimogan closed his eyes and listened to the wind outside the tent. The first fine snow of this winter fell last night, and the wind howled like a ghost crying.No one is allowed to move around Da Yan's tent, except for the occasional sound of a horse snorting. The world was silent, as if there was only him, this tent, and this woman with gentle hands. The woman patted his shoulder lightly, and Bi Mogan sat up obediently.The woman puts on him an inner garment made of Donglu silk, and then a close-fitting sheep felt vest.Bimogan stood up, and the woman put her arms around his back and put the armored breast pocket on him.Bimogan lowered his head and stroked the leopard totem on his chest, and couldn't help but think of his father. This is his father's armor, which fits so well on his body, as if it was tailor-made for him.

Thinking of the eagle-like old man, there seemed to be a familiar old atmosphere in the cold armor.He remembered that many years ago, his father and his brothers sat around the fire and roasted a whole otter in the first snow in early winter.The father asked about the legend of King Xun, and those who answered correctly could drink a sip of strong Gurqin liquor. The children hadn't drunk much alcohol yet, but they envied the burly men in the tribe, envious of them drinking the liquor and shouting loudly. He seemed to be singing a pastoral song, so he competed to answer his father's questions. The loser had to run around the golden tent ten times in the snow with his upper body bare, while the winner held his own Gurqin liquor. Xiaodi took a sip, resisting the burnt charcoal in his throat and not coughing, for fear that other brothers would think he was a coward.

Father will show a rare smile at this time, traces of which seem to be carved on his thin face. The woman fastened the belt of the chest pocket behind her back, and supported his arms, motioning for him to straighten his arms, and Bi Mogan raised his arms obediently.The woman turned to Bimogan, and straightened the long crimson tassels on both sides of the breastplate for him.She lowered her head, combing the pair of long tassels with her thin white hands again and again, Bi Mogan looked down at her long eyelashes flickering slightly. "Suma, would you like to listen to me?" Bimogan said suddenly.

Suma didn't answer, but nodded her head lightly, wrapped the cowhide armguard tightly around his upper arm, tied the belt on the other side, her hands were brisk and nimble. Bi Mogan was silent for a while, and licked his lips: "I don't know how to start...I just want to say, I'm really happy that you agreed to marry me, and I'm grateful that you treated me very well." "But there are some things I never told you, because I didn't dare, I was afraid that if those old scars were exposed, my appearance in your heart would change, and I would become the sinner who wiped out my true face..." He said this I managed to finally say it, and since then I have no more taboos, "But the more I don't say it, the more scared I feel. I dare not look into your eyes. Sometimes I think it would be great if you could talk, so that you can talk." You can scold me, so that I can know that you hate me and how much you hate me."

"What should I do? I can't escape. I am the sinner who wiped out your homeland. That was the only battle in my life." His voice trembled slightly. Suma still lowered her head, her hands trembling slightly. "At that time, I was very young. It was the first time I went to the battlefield with the Nine Kings. I just wanted to make a great contribution and let my father know that I was his bravest son. The True Face Department is nothing to me. I just want to Know that the 'Lion King' Beruha Kusar, your Abba, is a terrible enemy. But a good man on the prairie wants to cut off the hardest head, occupy the enemy's women, and listen to them cry... ..." Bimogan felt his own powerlessness, stepped back silently, and sat on the leopard skin bed, "I think you don't want to mention how much you hate me when you hear me say that, but I really thought so at the time, I Just to let you know, to tell you how stupid I was."

Suma silently took a step closer to him, but was stopped by Bimogan who stretched out his hand. "Don't comfort me," Bimogan looked into her clear eyes, such beautiful eyes, but in his eyes, they were always elusive, "I am determined to tell you this, and I didn't come to you to comfort me. I know what I have done, I am the eldest prince of Qingyang, I could have prevented the nine kings from issuing the order to massacre the city, but I didn't..." "Standing on the other side of the river and watching other people's tents being set on fire, the fire seemed to burn the sky, illuminating the night sky, and the samurai riding horses galloped by like the wind in the fire, cutting down those fleeing crying one by one ...It's actually very beautiful, with a sense of grandeur." He said softly, "Yes, I won't lie to you, that's how I felt at that time. Because I don't know those people, and their life and death have nothing to do with me. The life and death of them has nothing to do with you, as long as you don't know how they lived."

"I know it's embarrassing to say it, but the first time I know how people in the True Face Department live is because I saw your sister Uyangma. Longgeqin Uyangma Kusar, I I can’t forget this name. For a long time after that, I often dreamed that she was covered in blood, wearing her own blood-stained dress. In her dreams, she always told me, “The daughter of our Zhenyan Department, whoever’s slave is Don’t do it!’ I’ll tell you the truth, the first time I saw your sister, I just thought she was a woman, a beautiful woman, and I wanted to have her. I thought about her like crazy, thinking about her waist, thinking about her. Her chest, thinking of her lips... But you know how stupid that is, it's not a man thinking of a woman, it's a stallion in heat." Bi Mogan's eyes were calm and sad, "But in an instant I was Killed her. Until her blood flowed on my hand, I didn't know that I killed a living person, so beautiful, so warm, dead. Like the most beautiful porcelain, broken, I can't fight back..."

"There is a voice in my heart that says Bimogan what have you done? You are killing people! You have killed a lot of people! There are old people, children, and women among them, and many of them are Like this girl Uyangma Kusar... so beautiful, so stubborn, so brave. Those are real people! It hurts when the knife cuts on them and the fire burns on them... They don't They are all the enemy you want to defeat, Beluha Kusar, they are all real people! That voice asked me, Bimogan, what did you do?" Bimogan stared blankly at Su Ma's eyes seemed to reflect herself from those mirror-like pupils.

Suma stood two steps in front of Bimogan, within reach, but so far away. "I was born as the eldest son of Qingyang, and I was given everything I wanted. On my birthday, my father had someone travel thousands of miles for me to catch a dragon blood horse I wanted from Shangzhou. When Kuafu attacked, hundreds of people died. I don’t care what hundreds of people are. I have the BMW I want, and that’s enough. But the moment your sister died, I was really sad. My whole life I've never been so sad in my life, there's a voice, it's in my heart, it says Bimogan you're an idiot, you know now, some things you want but never get, some people you can kill Don’t think that they will obey you even if you let them down, some things can’t be undone for the rest of your life if you do something wrong.”

Bi Mogan's smile was a little bleak: "Actually, I said this not to ask you to forgive me. Because I have to make a decision today, to fight Shuobei, or to bow to Menglehuo'er Uerhan and let me in Qingyang The people of the tribe have lived under the wolf's kiss since then. Have you heard of the dispute between the several Patriarchs and Mu Li?" Suma nodded silently. "Actually, I made a decision that day in the golden tent, but I didn't tell them. I want to come back and tell you, I want to be the first to tell you that I have made a decision. I decided to raise my sword and hold Shuobei Wolf Lord Block outside Beidu City!" Bi Mogan said every word, "I did something wrong...I regret it...I don't want the same thing to happen to Qingyang people!"

"God Pantar, I can pay everything!" Bimogan Pasur pointed to the sky, "I am the master of Qingyang, and I will not let my people become the prey of the Shuobei wolves! " Bimogan looked at Suma, but Suma didn't move.Her eyes are clear, like a deep pool under a waterfall. Bi Mogan felt that the surging blood was gradually cooling down. After a whole year of marriage, he got the wife he dreamed of, but he didn't get her heart.What can't be overcome is hatred, besides, there is another person who is always in her heart, and she knows better than Mogan.Even if he tried his best to tell her the regret that was entangled in the deepest part of his heart, it would be in vain.Bi Mogan himself said that some things are wrong and cannot be undone for a lifetime. Bimogan stood up, silently hung the epee on his belt, turned around and walked out of the tent.The Kui drum has already sounded, and the nobles are gathering towards the golden tent, and soon he will have to face the masters of those big families. A pair of gentle hands hugged him from behind, and the woman's warm body pressed against his back tightly from behind.Bimogan stood still, feeling his heart beating wildly, and then he felt a woman pressing her face against his cold armor.He didn't dare to look back, his tears flowed down silently, and for the first time after a year of marriage, he felt in his heart that he had this woman, his wife. The two of them just hugged each other in silence, listening to the wind whistling past the tent. When the nobles and generals stepped into the golden tent, the maharaja of the northern capital was already sitting on his throne.Everyone was surprised when they saw Bi Mogan today. He was wearing a leopard totem armor and holding an epee.At the first glance, everyone was surprised and thought that the old man was not dead, but when he looked carefully, he found that it was Bi Mogan wearing the old man's armor and equipped with the old man's sword. Bimogan had no expression on his face, and looked ahead silently. None of the nobles dared to speak, and stood quietly. When Kui's drum sounded, Dahesa was the last to step into the golden tent. "My lord, have you made up your mind?" he asked. Bimogan didn't speak, got up in full view of the crowd, walked slowly to Mu Li, untied his epee, and handed it over flat. He looked into Mu Li's eyes, "General Mu Li, this is my father's sword. It was this sword that together with you killed the wolves in Shuobei and returned them to the north for thirty years. Today I take this sword The sword is given to you, so that the wolves in Shuobei will never have to come back this time, right? Let them bury their bones under the walls of Beidu City!"