Chapter 19 Section 13

Three days after being discharged from the hospital, I decided to go to work.I wanted to rest for a few more days, but I had nothing to do at home.In addition, calls from the media always come unexpectedly, on TV, in seminars, and some people even ask me if I want to publish a book.I really want to roar "I am not a display".I had to hold back my emotions and say no, which exhausted me. So I wanted to go to work early, but this morning I woke up in pain and had that dream of my head being pierced again.Now the memory is no longer blurred, but when I first woke up, I was still top-heavy for a while.What hasn't changed since the accident is that I always feel nervous when I look in the mirror in the morning, thinking that what I see in the mirror is a stranger.

I washed my face at the sink, nodded in the mirror, and said to myself, "This is my face." But something was wrong, and it was disturbing. I remembered what happened last night.For a split second—not even a split second—I thought Ah Hui's freckles were ugly.Shouldn't have thought that way. What she said inadvertently is also lingering in my mind - "What if you change your brain? Would you still be you?" No, that would not be me.I don't understand the complicated truth, but I think, now I think that I am my own heart, which is dominated by the brain.If the brain is replaced with something else, my heart will disappear with it.

So, what happens when a part changes like this surgery?Now, the brain inside my brain is definitely not the same as the brain before I was shot. Can the heart dominated by such a brain be the same as my original heart? I can't figure it out and my head hurts a bit. I washed my face with water and looked in the mirror again.Forget about this question, it just deserves to be put in the weird Pandora's box.There must be a way to make it clear.I know better than anyone else that I am still the original me, and the feeling of holding Ah Hui is the same as before. Forget about the freckles.

After work, I first went to the monitor to say hello, and then went to the workshop director and manufacturing minister with him.Seeing me, the supervisors reacted in the same way—surprised at first, then narrowed their eyes in nostalgia, and then started talking, sounding like they were worried about me all the time, but they didn’t do it during my hospitalization. Send a greeting. After a greeting, the monitor and I came to the workshop.Pulling open a soundproof door, all kinds of noise flew in: the motor of the rotary table and the ball, the sound of the elevator going up and down, and the smell: the gas from the welding machine, the stench of metal and engine oil.

Workers in this workshop assemble and debug various industrial machinery according to customer requirements.There are hundreds of people working in the workshop, and the manufacturing service team I belong to has twelve people including the team leader. When we arrived at our workshop, the squad leader called everyone over.They seemed to have noticed me right away, and trotted over. When the squad leader was talking, I looked at everyone's faces one by one.It's just that I haven't seen him for more than three months, and it looks like a lot has changed.Every face was lifeless and devoid of vitality.Those old employees who often sarcasm me, I simply wonder if they are sick somewhere.

I apologize to everyone for taking such a long vacation, and said that my body has fully recovered, so please don't worry.I think everyone knows about brain transplants, so I didn't mention that my task in the morning was to help Kasai, repair and adjust the new fusion splicing machine, and the purpose was to recall the main points of work.I was a little confused at first, but immediately remembered the sequence. Kasai and I went to the staff cafeteria during lunch break.After sitting down, Kasai asked, "What do you think of the atmosphere in the workshop?" "Not bad, but a little disappointed."

"Disappointed? What do you mean?" "The workers' desire to work is worse than imagined. It may be because they are far away that they can see clearly. Most people are lazy. People who get paid like this have no right to be angry at the bad behavior of their superiors." "You're so merciless." Kasai looked unhappy, "Don't say that in front of other people in the class." "I didn't mean to say it. It doesn't matter if others hear it. It's what it is." Kasai's hand holding the fork stopped in mid-air, with an expression as if he saw something disgusting.

After my first day at work, I stopped by the bookstore on my way home.Ah Hui was waiting for me in the house wearing an apron.The house smells of bolognese.She was a little surprised to hear that I was at work. "I'm worried that you're not at home. Didn't you say you're going to work tomorrow?" "It's better to go to work early." I didn't elaborate, I didn't know what to say. "What book did you buy, can I have a look at it?" Ah Hui looked at the bag on the desk and asked, and opened it before I could answer, "What is this? It's not a painting book. "Mechanical Construction" and " The latest design thinking"? It's really rare to buy this kind of book."

"Anyway, I'm also a technician, so I need to add professional knowledge frequently." I said so, but I went to the bookstore to buy drawing books, but I stopped in front of engineering-related books.There are a lot of professional books and materials. Looking at them, my heart sank.There is so much information, but I never thought of using it.When I came back to my senses, I found myself standing in front of the cashier with two books.It's a shame to say that this is the first time I've ever bought a book on self-development at work. When queuing up to pay, I caught a glimpse of the books in the hands of the student-looking boy in front of me. One was about how not to be annoying to girls, and the other was titled "How to cheat money from your parents." On the covers of the two books All with big 'Comic Illustration'. When will this student realize that he is wasting his precious time?

"Probably there will never be that day." When I mentioned that student, Ah Hui said seriously with a smile, "I think that kind of person will always be like that in his future life." "That way there will always be some confusion." "Well, but he won't understand why he stumbled, so he won't think it's because he wasted his precious student time." "This kind of guy should not come into this world." I don't know if what I said was too extreme, Ah Hui seemed a little confused. After eating the pasta she made, I started to paint.It's been a long time since I got an easel.

Ah Hui, who was a model, asked, "How can I do it?" "Uh...yeah..." I looked at her face and body from every angle.This should give you instant inspiration. "What's the matter? Do you want to be silly?" Ah Hui put his elbows on the window frame and smiled strangely, because I didn't say anything and just stood there blankly.There is no inspiration in my head.It was not like this in the past, as long as Ah Hui moved his body, inspiration would rush to me like a tide. "Hey, what's the matter?" She seemed to feel uneasy, and the smile disappeared from her eyes. "Oh, it's okay, you can do this." I started sketching on the white canvas.Looking at Ah Hui's expression from the front obliquely - this is what I'm used to drawing. But after only drawing for about ten minutes, I stopped: "Let's stop here today." "Didn't you just start drawing... No emotions?" "It's nothing like that. I really want to paint and I'm very inspired. But today, how should I put it... I'm a little tired. I haven't been to the factory for a long time, probably because of mental fatigue." My teeth were itchy, and I said this to myself It sounds like nonsense, and the more embellished it is, the more it seems to be self-evident. "Oh...that's right." Ah Hui probably also noticed my unnaturalness, but didn't delve into it. "Do you want coffee?" "Okay." I put away the easel. I drank the coffee Ah Hui made and listened to her gossip about customers and friends.I laughed and agreed, but in my heart I said, what's the fun in this--I couldn't help being surprised when I realized this thought.Such inner activities must not be noticed by her. After joking for a while, I sent Ah Hui back to her apartment.When I said goodbye in front of the door, I said that I will not draw for the time being. "Why?" she asked uneasily. "I want to make up for the work left behind in the factory, so I want to work overtime starting tomorrow, and I may be late when I go home." "Oh." She nodded, but her eyes were still puzzled. "It's not that I don't want to paint." "Yeah. I know." "Good night then." "Good night." On the way home I kept thinking about my day with her.She loves me and I love her too.No matter what happens, I can't forget that she is the only woman I have in this world. When I got home, I read "Mechanical Structural Science" and "Latest Design Ideas" until two o'clock in the morning, but I couldn't concentrate because I could hear the sound of Usui playing computer games next door.He seemed to have friends at his place tonight, with drunken talking and laughter.I grabbed the coffee cup next to me and threw it towards the wall. The cup shattered, but the neighbors did not calm down.The next morning I was picking up the broken glass and thinking, why did I do something stupid?