Chapter 16 scene eight

It was a week after the party was over that I was called to talk to the personnel department of Vitec company.I went to the company in Akasaka in the same suit I wore at the party.Although it was already September, the heat was still unbearable, and halfway through the walk, I took off my top and draped it over my shoulders.When I walked to the platform, I suddenly found that there was a man who was wearing the same clothes as me and slightly younger than me standing next to me.It turns out that there are still many people looking for jobs. I can't help but think of myself a few years ago.

After arriving at the company, I first reported to the head of the personnel department. After the bald head of the section asked my name, his eyes narrowed into slits in his glasses. "It's Tsuruga-kun, I have good news for you." Hearing what he said, he was naturally in a good mood. "What's the good news?" I asked with a relaxed expression. "Announce this matter and get another room. Turn left in the corridor and there is a meeting room 201. You wait there for a while, I will come right away" "I see" It's really a trick, I muttered in my heart, but I followed his instructions.When I arrived at the room with the number 201 written on it, I pushed in without knocking on the door, thinking that there was no one inside.Unexpectedly, there was already an earlier guest inside. He was wearing a dark blue suit and was sitting facing the conference table. His back looked very thin. I was about to make a humble speech immediately. However, when he turned his head, I swallowed hard. Go down, that person is Chihiko.

"Hey" he said, "you're late" I stared at Zhiyan's outfit intently. After this suit was put on by the skinny Zhiyan, it looked like it was hanging on a hanger. "Chihiko was also called?" "Well, they sent an email to the research office yesterday, and Chongshi did the same, right?" "Well." I nodded my chin and asked him, "You heard that I'm coming too?" "Although they didn't say it was you, I know that another person was also named, so I guess it's probably Chongshi" "Then do you know what happened to us?"

"Well, I generally know" "what is it then?" Zhiyan immediately showed a look of embarrassment, looked away, pushed up the glasses with his index finger, and said, "Didn't the head of the personnel department tell you anything?" "Just tell me it's good news" Zhiyan nodded and said with a smile, "That's right, it's good news." "Then what's the matter? Don't make me worry, tell me quickly" "This is not suitable for me, anyway, you will know soon" "Cut, it's disgusting." I frowned and scratched my temples with my fingers. Chihiko was still smiling. Seeing him like this, I almost forgot that our friendship was already in crisis, just like returning home. It's the same as in the past.

I immediately remembered that I still had something to ask him. Although this question may completely change the current harmonious atmosphere, I am not sure that I am not at ease. "By the way, what happened after Shinozaki's incident?" Sure enough, Chihiko's face changed drastically when he heard my question, and his smile disappeared in a blink of an eye. "What's the matter?" "After last week's party, he looked like something was wrong. Didn't you take him out?" "Oh, you said that." The smile reappeared on Zhiyan's face, but it was completely different from the previous one, "He's drunk, too much. Although he wants to have fun, it's not like that. Later, Sudou scolded him severely."

"I don't see it that way" After listening to me, Zhiyan's eyes became alert, "What do you mean?" "It's nothing special." After a pause, I continued, "I suddenly thought, could it be the influence of the experiment? Didn't you say before that Shinozaki was used as an experimental product?" Zhiyan's face suddenly lost expression, and his eyes shifted to behind me, obviously looking for excuses for himself, and after a while he seemed to think of something to open his mouth, but before he made a sound, I said, "You still say, through In that experiment, memory tampering became possible."

These words made Chihiko regain his expression, blinked more frequently, and his forehead became red. This expression is the so-called bewilderment, I know very well. "Well..." he finally said, "It has nothing to do with that, Shinozaki was really drunk that day." "Really? I haven't seen him since. I thought it was an accident." "It wasn't an accident, really, nothing happened" "That's good," I said, nodded, and looked away from Chihiko. I didn't expect to hear the truth from him, but judging from his reaction just now, it made me more convinced that my speculation was correct.Shinozaki's strange behavior at the regular party was indeed influenced by the experiment.Could it be that Shinozaki's memory has been tampered with and cannot return to its original state?I was thinking back to the scene where the Hiroshima-born man tried his best to claim that he was from Tokyo.

but-- I still really want to deny this reasoning in my heart. The modification of memory is by no means so easy to achieve.This is the ultimate topic for Reality researchers. When there was about to be an embarrassing silence between Tomohiko and me, the door opened in good time, and the head of the personnel department walked in.Behind him was a man in a well-made gray suit who looked less than forty years old.I saw this person at the party last week. He just came back from the US head office. His surname is Qingdi. The head of the personnel department sat down towards us, and said quietly, "There is no other reason for the two of you to come here, I just want to confirm where you will be assigned next spring."

I looked directly into the face of the head of the personnel department, and he stared at me and Tomohiko for a while. "Perhaps you two also know that every year the company will select one or two researchers from MAC and send them to the Los Angeles headquarters. Of course, the premise is that they are good enough. And next year's candidates are the two of you." I glanced at Zhiyan, who also glanced at me briefly, and then looked back immediately. "It's decided so early," I said, "I thought it would have to wait until next year." "It used to be like this, but this year is different." The head of the personnel department continued, "Although I don't know what the job content will be after I go there, I will probably continue your current research. The deadline for getting there is now It’s not decided, the shortest is three years, and the longest is until retirement.”

"Generally, five to ten years," Aochi added in a metallic voice. "So, what are your opinions?" The head of the personnel department said to us again, "Are you interested in going to Los Angeles? Well, of course, I don't want you to answer me right now, but there is not as much time as you think." "If possible, I hope you can reply within three days," Qing said, "because if you refuse, we have to find someone else." "But there has never been a rejection," the head of the personnel department interjected. With my current mood, I can't wait to agree immediately, and I don't need three days to think about it.When I joined Vitec, my biggest dream was to be assigned to the head office in the United States.

"I will contact you again in three days. You can reply to me at that time. Do you have any questions?" Tomohiko and I gave the same answer to the question from the head of the personnel department, no. "Then we'll see you next week. Oh, by the way, you can't tell others about this, not even the instructors of MAC. Pay attention to this." I see, we said in unison. Tomohiko and I sat side by side on the tram back to MAC.At this time, my blood was boiling, so my voice was unconsciously raised an octave higher than usual. "It really surprised me, I didn't expect them to ask us for advice so quickly" "Because the receiving party also needs time to think about it, so let's clarify the matter as soon as possible." "Maybe, but to be honest, I can finally feel at ease. I didn't have any confidence in whether I could be selected." "Chongshi's failure to be elected has become a joke" "No such thing, although I don't know the specific reason, but I think there is an element of luck in it" "Of course it's not luck." Chihiko crossed his arms and stared diagonally downward. I turned my body to Chihiko, "Tomohiko, you guys know that this talk is about going to Los Angeles, right?" "Vaintly guessed" "why?" "When I was chatting with Qingdi before, he hinted at me" "That's why you're so calm?" "Rather than being calm, it's better to say I'm relieved. Although I feel a little vaguely, I still can't feel at ease until I actually hear it. It's just that if I want to go to the United States, there are many problems that need to be solved." I also said Wondering what the problem was, he sighed and continued, "For example, what should she do?" "Ah..." Of course I didn't forget about this, "What are you going to do?" "It's really nerve-wracking." Chihiko sighed softly. It is impossible for Zhiyan to refuse to go to the United States, and I am the same. After all, this is the greatest wish we have.But if that was the case, he would have to live in two places with Mayuko.Although the United States is not very far away, it is not possible to have a date every week. I'm afraid Zhiyan's thoughts at this moment must be intricate and complicated. I guessed, and I couldn't help feeling an evil pleasure, at least making him distressed. On the other hand, I also feel that this may be a good opportunity to sort out my feelings for Mayuko.For as long as she is near me I cannot renounce my longing for her.In the land on the other side of the ocean, maybe there is something that can make me forget her. "Can she?" After a while, Zhiyan next to him said to himself, "Come with me." I couldn't help but twitched my eyebrows, "Going to Los Angeles?" "Well, is it possible?" "It's not a question of possibility, she also has a job." "Then let her resign." "Resign from your job at Vitec?" "Ok……" I was speechless, staring at Zhiyan's delicate side face, his clear eyes, looking straight ahead. "You mean get married?" I asked with a stiff face, an indescribable reluctance to say the word 'marry'. "I really want to do this," Chihiko replied, "otherwise her parents wouldn't accept it" "But—" I swallowed the words again, what I was going to talk about was when Chihiko came to my room after getting drunk a few days ago.At that time, Tomohiko told me that after he mentioned the future to Mayuko, the answer he got was that it took time to think about it. "This may be a fork in the road," said Tomohiko. "What fork in the road?" "The two of us. Maybe everything in the future depends on this" Zhiyan's tone is calm, but it seems to contain his deep thinking.Sure enough, he has always had a certain sense of crisis about his relationship with Mayuko. "So that's how it is," I replied briefly, not even knowing what the 'so' meant. If Tomohiko asked Mayuko to come with me, how would she respond, I thought about it.She has always been proud of being a researcher, and I feel that she is unlikely to choose the traditional women's way of quitting her job and running around with men.However, I don't know to what extent the love between the two of them has been stabilized. If it exceeds my imagination, she may also accept Zhiyan's request.Mayuko's feelings for Tomohiko, while self-sacrificing, must also contain elements of narcissism, which also aggravated my anxiety. If Mayuko agrees— Thinking of this, my whole body felt hot, and I couldn't calm down.If I went to Los Angeles under these circumstances, I would have to witness Tomohiko and Mayuko's newlywed life. "When are you going to tell him?" I asked Zhiyan. "Hmm...maybe tonight" "That's it." I nodded and closed my eyes. This matter should be put in the past. Maybe I would add "Come on" unintentionally, but I didn't do it because it would make me hate myself even more. That night, I didn't fall asleep for a long time.What did Chihiko say to Mayuko?And what attitude does she express about this, will the two get married?After getting married, should I go to Los Angeles with them?Do you still want to hide your feelings for Mayuko and pretend to be Chihiko's friend? I wanted to pick up the cordless handset several times to call Mayuko, but in the end I didn't because I didn't have the courage. I tossed and turned in bed, headaches and stomach bloating made me sleepless. My dizzy mind is filled with all kinds of things, although they are all boundless fantasies and there is no solution at all, but one thing is clear. That is, I can never give up on Mayuko. I thought that I could forget her when I went to the United States, but that was just a beautiful wish, just keep it in my heart. If I had made up my mind to give up her, I should have been fully prepared for the combination of Zhiyan and her, but in fact I was afraid of it, and it was this kind of fear that made me sleepless all night. I don't want to give up Mayuko to others, no matter what way I want to get her love. In order to achieve his goal, he would not hesitate to make Chihiko sad.From the moment I gave her the brooch as a birthday present, our friendship had faded into thin air. The next day, I went to MAC to find Chihiko and Mayuko. Of course, I couldn't directly break into their research room to ask about the results. I could only wait for the chance to meet them in the corridor and cafeteria. But in the end I didn't see either of them. I left my work aside, found various reasons to leave the research room, and walked aimlessly up and down the corridor. "You seem to be restless today." Koyamauchi noticed this after a while, and began to accuse me of being absent-minded in my report. That night, after I left MAC, I went to Koenji Station instead of going back to my place.Then I walked into the coffee shop that gave Mayuko the sapphire brooch, which happened to be very few people.I found a seat with a view of the station through the window and sat down, ordering a cup of coffee.The price was 350 yen including consumption tax. I stared intently at the station, took out my wallet, took out three hundred-yen coins and five ten-yen coins and put them on the table. The first cup of coffee was finished in 15 minutes, and in the next 15 minutes, there was an empty coffee cup left on the table. Because I saw the waiter, I refilled a cup.I took out a five-hundred-dollar coin from my wallet, and took back a hundred-dollar coin and five ten-dollar coins from the table. When I was halfway through my third cup of coffee, Mayuko appeared, wearing a dark yellow waist dress. From a distance, she could clearly see that she was slightly tired. I took the payment slip and 1,500 yen from the table and stood up.The cashier in front of the counter was busy at this time, I said "put it here", put the money on the counter, waited impatiently for the automatic door to open, and walked out. At this moment, Mayuko was turning onto a small road. I knew very well that the roads here were intricate and complicated. Once I let her out of my sight, I would never find her again, so I took small steps to catch up. As she got closer, she seemed to sense the footsteps and turned around before I could speak.Perhaps because of the dim light, I couldn't be recognized for a while, after a doubtful expression flashed in the corner of her eyes, she immediately opened her eyes wide and stopped at the same time. "What's the matter?" Mayuko's expression was filled with surprise. "I've been waiting for you in front of the station, there are some things I want to confirm today" "What's the matter?" "It's about going to the United States." I looked directly into her face, "Did Zhiyan tell you?" Oh, Mayuko nodded, smiling broadly, "I heard that you, Tsuruga-kun, were also selected. That's great, congratulations." "Before I thank you, I have to ask you something." I took a few more steps toward her.Although she still had a smile on her face, there was already a bit of vigilance.I continued, "How did you answer Chihiko?" "Ah?..." Mayuko's eyes faltered. "Please go to America with me, isn't that what Zhiyan told you?" She twitched her eyebrows, then looked around, trying to force a smile. "Do you like to stand on the side of the road and talk?" To her, it was probably the best possible joke.I tried my best to soften my expression, and my shoulders relaxed. "Then I'll take you home, it should be very close." "About five minutes" said, Mayuko took a step, and I walked side by side with her. After walking for a while, she said, "Yesterday, he told me" "Going to America?" "Ok" "Would you like to go with him?" "Well, she said she would marry me." I was silent, I should have asked her, how did you answer, but I couldn't say it, because I was afraid of knowing the answer.Silently, I stepped out alternately, not knowing where I was going.My heart was in a panic, and my armpits were sweating. Since I didn't ask any questions, Mayuko didn't say anything.I suddenly had a feeling that she didn't want to tell me how she answered Chihiko. Mayuko stopped suddenly, I was taken aback and looked at her face.After a little uneasiness appeared in her eyes, she smiled. "It's here." The voice was a little shy. In front of us is a building with white tiles. There is a glass door in the entrance, and you can see the mailboxes of each family lined up inside. "What's the house number?" She hesitated a little to my question, and then replied, "Room 302" "Then I'll send it to the door of your room." However, she shook her head, "Sending it here is enough" "Oh" I put my hands in my pockets and looked up at the building unconsciously. "I" Mayuko said, sounding like she had thought it through, "I won't go to America" I looked into her eyes in surprise, the slender and delicate eyes no longer had the smile just now, replaced by a light that represented a firm will. "Aren't you going to go with Chihiko?" She looked at me and nodded her jaw. "Why?" I asked. "I don't think we've reached this stage yet. If you do something irreversible with unresolved feelings, you will regret it. In the end, neither of us will be happy. It will take some time between us." " "But the two of you will spend this time in different places." "As long as the hearts are connected, the distance in space is nothing. If the connection in the heart fades after two people separate, then in the end they are still no different from ordinary lovers." "You said that to that guy too?" "Ok" "Did he understand?" "It didn't seem to understand, but he said to me, that's okay, because I also have a job, so it's better to look at it rationally" These words are really like his style, I think, a man who can't take away the woman he loves by force.Maybe now, like a few days ago, he is drinking alone. "Is that all you want to ask?" She asked with a relaxed expression. "yes" "Then it's enough for me to answer these," she said, and she was heading towards the entrance to step up the stairs.But after walking one frame, she turned around again, "You have to work hard in the United States, Tsuruga-kun will definitely do a great job." "It will take more than half a year to go" "But after you go, you don't know when we will meet again, so make mental preparations now." After she finished speaking, she immediately extended her right hand to me, wanting to shake hands with me very naturally. "I really have to work hard, I'm looking forward to it" I looked at her hand for a few seconds, then reached out my right hand from my pocket and took it.In retrospect, this was the first time I shook hands with Mayuko. Her hands were delicate and soft, but the bones were surprisingly hard, and my palms were constantly sweating. Suddenly, there was an urge to pull her over, and my fingers tightened.Mayuko's eyes immediately widened bigger than almonds, as if she had seen through my thoughts, she whispered "This is not okay", her tone was like warning a child. "Are you really not going to America?" I asked Mayuko while shaking her hand.She nodded.After confirming this, I let go and said, "I see" Mayuko withdrew her right hand and put it behind her back, holding the bag, said, "Then good night, thank you for taking me back" "Good night" She walked up the stairs, opened the glass door in the hallway, and entered the building.After her figure disappeared from my sight, I turned and left.Maybe it's because my whole body is hot, but the wind blowing in the warm September feels so cool. Two days later, I visited Vitec again, with the purpose of answering the assignment to the United States.After I went, they still asked me to wait in the meeting room last time. This time Chihiko didn't arrive first.Great, I'm secretly glad. The man named Qingdi I met a few days ago knocked on the door and walked in, but he didn't see the head of the personnel department. Maybe he didn't think it was necessary to listen to my answer. "Have you made up your mind?" "yes" "Very good, Miwa-kun also replied to us yesterday. Then we will contact the head office immediately." As he said, Aochi wanted to take out documents and other things from the briefcase under his arm. I quickly said, "Well, that's not what it means..." "Isn't that what you mean?" Qingdi turned her face away. "Assignment to the United States... please allow me to give up" Qingdi didn't seem to understand the meaning of my words right away, he gave me a dull look, then slowly opened his mouth and said, "What did you say?" He barely made a sound, "Give up?...You are saying that Are you serious?" "Absolutely serious, I thought twice before making this decision" "Hey, do you really want to understand? This matter is very important. If you miss this opportunity, you may never be able to go to the head office in the future." "I am aware of this and my decision was made after considering this factor" Qingdi let out a long sigh, scratched his head, and messed up his neatly combed hairstyle, "What's the reason?" "Because of a personal matter" "Do your parents object?" "Isn't it...do I have to say the reason?" "No, not really." Qingdi put both hands on the conference table, crossing and loosening his ten fingers from time to time.It was obvious that I would say no, which was a big surprise to him. Qingdi raised her face, "I think you will definitely regret it" I didn't answer, I looked at him and knew I was doing something stupid.However, this is the final conclusion I have reached after asking myself what is most important to me. "No way, we can only find another substitute candidate." He seemed to realize that I was determined, and his words were mixed with regret, "It's a pity, I think it's a pity." "It's a matter of different values," I said, Qingdi's expression was slightly surprised. That night, I was sitting in my room waiting for a call from Tomohiko, who was sure to hear about my refusal to go to America.After he hears it, he will definitely come to find out what I mean. How should I explain it to him? I racked my brains to think about it, but I couldn't think of a reason not to make Chihiko suspicious.There have been times when I've been caught lying by underestimating his keen insight. Time is passing, and I still can't think of a reasonable excuse.As a result, the call did not come that night, and the stone in my heart fell to the ground temporarily.Did he want to ask me after the MAC meeting?Either way, it's only a matter of time. Unexpectedly, Zhiyan and I did not see each other the next day, and there was no call from the residence.Could it be that they didn't tell Zhiyan about my refusal?If so, luckily. However, on the third day—— While I was writing a report in my research room, the phone on my desk rang.Mayuko's voice came from the receiver, it was an internal call, and she seemed to be at the MAC.Fortunately, there is no one around me, so I don't need to worry about being overheard. "Can you come out for a while? I have something to tell you," she said. "Okay, where are you?" "Reference room, but it's not convenient to talk here, let's go to the rooftop." "I see, I'll be right there" I took the elevator to the top floor, and Mayuko offered to say something. This kind of thing is not so rare, it's better to say it has never happened. What is the important thing?I guessed all kinds of possibilities.Could it be that she changed her mind and was willing to go to America again?Thinking of this, I suddenly felt an ups and downs, and the elevator seemed to be working very slowly. I walked up to the rooftop from the stairs on the top floor, and I saw Mayuko standing with her back to the guardrail, wearing a light blue short-sleeved jacket, and two slender legs protruding from under the skirt pants of the same color.I'm curious why she doesn't wear the white coat she used to wear. When I got closer, I found that Mayuko seemed to be glaring at me. I was about to open my mouth to ask, what's the matter with you, but she spoke first. "Why did you refuse?" The tone seemed to be blaming, her words were enough to make me realize what she was going to talk to me next, and at the same time I was deeply surprised, why would Mayuko know? "I went to Vitec once this morning, and I was called by the personnel department" "You?" An ominous premonition surged in my chest, like ink dripping into clear water. "They asked me if I was interested in going to LA" "What..." My ears rang suddenly, "How is this possible... You obviously just joined MAC this year." "I told them that too, and they said this is a special case" "special case?" "A place to go to the United States has been decided, but I still need an assistant to assist that person. In fact, there is already a candidate for this place, but he gave up. They told me so. So they made an exception and came to talk to me." I couldn't speak for a moment, and all kinds of things suddenly rushed into my head, and they were spinning like laundry in a washing machine.Assisted assistant?Is my character just Tomohiko's assistant?No, now is not the time to think about it. "The person who has been confirmed should be Zhiyan. In this case, the one who gave up the quota is Tsuruga... I don't believe it, and I don't want to believe it. Is this true?" I covered my forehead with my right hand and approached the guardrail.However, the scenery downstairs did not catch my eyes at all, "I don't believe it, and I don't want to believe it"?For me, these are what Mayuko said just now. "It's me..." I moaned, "I'm the one who gave up" "Sure enough" Mayuko shook her head beside me, "Why? Why did you do this..." "For personal reasons" "But this is a once-in-a-century opportunity." I tightly grasped the barbed wire of the guardrail with both hands, and tried my best to resist the urge to scream. "Really, it turned out to be like this, I talked to you after I gave up..." There was a surge in my chest, "It's so stupid, it's so ridiculous, what the hell am I doing?" I tried to laugh out, making fun of the ridiculous Own.It might just look like an ugly contortion of the face though. "By the way, Tsuruga-kun" Mayuko said, "Could it be related to what I said that day? I don't plan to go with him to those words..." I bowed my head and said nothing, my fingers got stuck in the barbed wire, but I didn't relax. "Is that so? A chance was passed up because of this?" she asked again, a question I couldn't answer. I lowered my head and pressed my head against the barbed wire. "I want to be by your side," I replied, "if things go on like this, maybe I can win your heart. Maybe I have already planned to win love from Zhiyan. Although you said that the distance in space doesn't matter, I don't think so , and most importantly—" I took a deep breath, "I don't want to leave you" "You actually..." "But this kind of nasty thing is unimaginable, and you will be punished immediately, right? I didn't go and replaced you. It's too dramatic." "Just ask them to cancel, there should be time" "It's impossible, and I don't want to go either." I shook my head, "This is my own fault." "Don't say such stupid things, this is a major event that will affect your life. But you...for someone like me, you even changed your way of life. Don't you think it's too stupid?" "I'm just being true to myself" "However, this has gone too far..." Realizing that Mayuko's voice was trembling, I turned my head to look at her, two lines of tears in her eyes flowed down her cheeks.The eye sockets were also red, and my lips were tightly closed, as if I was suppressing my sadness. I was immediately at a loss. "It's so nerve-wracking, don't cry, there's nothing to be sad about. It's just that I fell in love with you as I said to myself, and I ended up reaping the consequences, that's all. You don't need to take it seriously at all." "But I can't turn a blind eye" “It really doesn't matter” I raised my right hand and slowly stretched it towards Mayuko's left cheek. She looked at me with sincere eyes that were bloodshot, motionless.I immediately touched her cheek, but she still didn't move.I wiped away the tears under her eyes with my thumb. It was like being electrocuted, and a burning pain ignited inside my body.The whole body stiffened and became hot. Mayuko held my fingers with her left hand and asked, "Why, is it me?" "I don't know either," I replied. There was a commotion on the other side of the stairs, probably because it was lunch break.Because we were afraid that someone would come up, we both let go. "When do you need an answer about going to America?" I asked. "They said tomorrow at the latest" "Really... did you tell Chihiko?" Mayuko shook her head, "Not yet." "It's better to tell him as soon as possible, he will be overjoyed." I forced a cheerful tone, "See you later" After I finished speaking, I turned and walked towards the stairs.I happened to meet two men walking up with golf clubs, as if they were going to practice their swing.Hopefully these guys won't notice Mayuko's tears, I pray silently. With such a mental state, it is impossible to continue to work at the desk in the afternoon. Koyamauchi and I asked for leave on the grounds of physical discomfort. In a sense, this is not pretending to be sick. I am really in pain Unable to stand.Standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, he found himself disheartened, and immediately understood why Koyamauchi immediately approved him to take a vacation. I was craving a drink, trying to get drunk enough to pass out, but I went straight home anyway.On the one hand, I don't know the bars that are open during the day, mainly because I don't want to appear in front of everyone, and I want to be alone as soon as possible. There was also a half-drunk bottle of Chivas Regal in the room, and two unopened pheasants.If you pour all of this into your stomach, you should be so drunk that you lose consciousness.But I just lay down on the bed and didn't bother to move at all.Not only did he not have the strength to drink, but he also had no energy to do anything. Time passed by every minute and every second, but I didn't eat or sleep. I just lay on the bed and writhed in pain.I don't know whether I am regretting the loss of a good opportunity, or mourning the complete loss of Mayuko.I even thought in my mind that I would be relieved to die. So at night, I stood up slowly and began to drink some steaming whiskey.I don't want to eat anything, just drink alcohol blindly.At dawn, on the way to the toilet, I threw up at the door, and it was just some yellow stomach juice.And the bitterness that I can't vomit is still rolling in my body, and even the sunlight coming in from the window is so disgusting at this moment. As a result, I also asked for leave from MAC on this day, and it doesn't matter whether the experiment or the report is worth mentioning. After noon, the phone rang.Even on the lowest setting, the ringing still made my headache worse.I twisted my body like a caterpillar and climbed out of the bed, grabbed the telephone set on the ground, and said "Hello, I'm Tsuruga" like a cow with a cold. After a pause, "It's me" came Mayuko's voice.For a moment, I forgot about the headache. "Ah..." I couldn't remember what I was going to say. "are you sick?" "I feel a little uncomfortable, but nothing serious" "That's good." She seemed to hesitate for a while, then continued, "Just now, I went to Vitec" "Ooh" Suddenly, all kinds of distracting thoughts swirled in my head, why did you call me specially?Could it be an ultimatum?At this time, Chihiko must be dancing with joy, everything is over—— "I declined," Mayuko said. "Ok?……" The head is temporarily in a vacuum. "What refused?" "I just gave up and went to the United States." With the phone in my hand, I was speechless.She also didn't say a word, only the sound of disordered breathing came from the receiver. "Why?" I asked her. "Because... I don't see a reason for me to go," she said. I wanted to continue to ask why, but I didn't ask. After the two sides were silent for a while, I asked, "Does Zhiyan know about this?" "I don't know, they asked me about my intention to go to the United States, and I didn't tell him." "Is that okay?" "it does not matter" "Really?" I swallowed a mouthful of saliva, bitter in my mouth, "Keep this matter a secret from Zhiyan?" "yes" "I want to meet and talk with you" After hesitating, Mayuko replied, "Let's talk about it later." I didn't get discouraged by it, "I see, let's talk about it later" "take care" "thanks" We hung up the phone. The next day, I went to MAC. I still can't calm down at the moment, and made several low-level mistakes because I was out of my mind.Others are absent-minded when talking to me. "What's the matter with you, you've been a little abnormal during this time, is it easy to get tired in summer?" Koyamachi finally couldn't help but make accusations. With continuous leave and such a working state, it is understandable to blame a few words. I replied nothing and returned to my seat.When I started working, I thought of something else.You cheer up!What is there to be thankful for?I scold myself. Fortunately, this word can't be more appropriate to describe my mood at the moment.我简直高兴得手舞足蹈，麻由子不去美国了，而且一想到原因是为了我，心里就洋溢起一股喜悦之情。这种心情，就像一直处于黑暗中的人发现顶上突然射入了光芒一样。 当然，我无法确定麻由子是否从此就会爱上我，但她非常尊重我对她的一片痴情这点是不会错的，这对我而言是个很大的飞跃。 不可否认，对于智彦我是深表歉意的，然而我尽量做到无视这种心情。我根本没资格来考虑这种事，我告诫自己。 我现在最希望的，是尽快见到麻由子，看着她的脸，听她说话，并且想尽可能准确地掌握她的心意。然后思忖着是否存在这种机会的时候，就无法集中注意力工作了。不过说实话，心情并不算坏。 “记忆加工组的那些家伙，现在干吗呢？”坐在我边上的柳濑，用唠家常似的随意口吻说道。“这段时间几乎看不到他们的身影呢” 柳濑研究完小山内布置的模拟程序，脸上一副疲惫的表情，冲我歪起了脑袋。 “最近一直如此啊，有传闻说，须藤和三轮都住在了实验室呢” “住在实验室？真厉害啊” “依我看，他们一定是加急赶着什么。可是又没有当面发表会，要真有什么紧急的研究，Vitec公司应该会给予支援才对啊” 我突然想到了一种可能。 “那个叫筱崎的，最近你见到过吗？” “筱崎吗？不，完全没见到。那家伙难道不是和三轮他们在一块儿吗？” “我最后一次见到他，嗯，应该是派对的时候” 听我一说，柳濑直点头。 “我也是啊，那次的印象还挺深。不知道后来是不是还那么贪杯”说着，偷笑了起来。 这天晚上，我打了个电话到麻由子住处，到七点家里还是没有人。我边看着美式足球的录像边吃完了再简单不过的晚饭，之后又打了一次电话，但依然没有人接。过了八点总算打通了，此时电视里正出现达拉斯小牛打进制胜一球的画面。 听到我的声音，麻由子并未感觉意外，“晚上好”声音依然如同往常一样沉着。 “昨天不好意思”我说道，技巧比较拙劣，声音略显激动。 "Ok" “你好象还是很忙啊” “今天倒还好，下班比平时早很多，因为顺便去了几个地方回家才晚了” “这样啊” 早知道如此就来等你下班了，本想随口说句俏皮话，还是忍住了。我不想让她感觉从昨天到今天我的心情转换得如此之快。 “也没什么特别的事”我说，“说句俗话，想听听你的声音” 然后，她呵呵地乐了，“还真是很俗的话呢” “你对智彦说什么了吗？” “今天几乎没有，他一直把自己关在实验室里，而我在座位上做数据分析” “听说他晚上还住在实验室呢” “嗯，他有点急事” “是筱崎的事吧？” 这话正中靶心，麻由子在回答前停顿了一会儿。 “……他对你说什么了？” “他巧妙地避开了这个话题，不过我心里清楚” “是么，你说的是派对上发生的事吧？” “算是吧” “发生了异常情况呢” “筱崎的记忆发生混乱，是因为实验的影响吧？” 唉，麻由子一声叹息，似乎没有打算继续隐瞒。 “是有点小麻烦，不过已经没问题了。你不用担心，正因为如此我今天才能早回来呢” “你是说已经解决了？” "Ok" “那就太好了，这样智彦的研究就完成百分之90了吧？” “怎么说呢，应该算百分之80吧，只是还差一口气” “真了不起”我说，调整一下呼吸后继续问道，“能够做到对记忆修改了吗？” 麻由子没吭声。过了几秒钟，这点时间用来下决心已经足够了。 她终于开口了，“能够做到” "Really" 我的心头涌起五味杂陈，挫败感、憧憬、惊叹、当然还有嫉妒。 “智彦真是个天才”我说，说这话能使我得到自虐式的快感。 “我也这么认为”麻由子也同意。 “你难道不想跟着这样的天才吗？” 这句话当然是针对去美国一事而说的，但我立刻后悔了，表达方式实在有些令人不悦。果然，麻由子回答道： “你要这么说，我的决定就变得没有意义了” 她说的一点都没错，我不知如何来回应。 “智彦今天晚上也住在那里吗？” “今天应该不会，这事告一段落之后，可以久违地回到公寓去睡了” “那说不定已经到家了咯？” “是啊，你要打电话给他？” “我想打一下试试” “应该没问题，不过……” “放心好了，我不会说多余的话的，只是想关于研究的事问问他” 拜托你了，麻由子说道。她依旧竭力守护我们俩的友情。 挂断电话后，我立刻拨通了智彦家的电话。不过他貌似还没到家，铃声响了七下之后，我放下了电话。 第二次拎起电话，是在夜晚十一点刚过的时候，我倒上了一杯威士忌，不过电话依然没有接通。 过了十二点，我又打了一次，还是没人接。 他应该还在MAC吧，虽然麻由子说麻烦圆满解决，难道又发生了什么意外么？还是说解决这个小麻烦需要费一番功夫呢？ 换上睡衣钻进了被窝，可心里还是一直想个不停。到了凌晨一点，又拿起子机按下了重拨键。然而从电话里传来的，依然只是单调的铃声。 我站起身换上了牛仔裤和棉衬衫，穿上运动鞋，走出了房间。然后从公寓的停车场取出自行车，向MAC骑去。 MAC研究大楼的窗户基本都已经暗了下来，我向睡眼惺忪的门卫出示了自己的工作证。 “我有东西忘在里面了，明天出差一定要用到的” 门卫不耐烦地点头应允。 我走上楼梯，快步来到智彦的研究室。门关得严严的，我侧耳倾听，但里面没有传来任何声响。不过这里的研究室都做过特殊的隔音处理。 虽然心存犹豫，但还是敲响了门，如果被人怀疑起来，只要说打了无数电话没人接所以不放心来看看就行了，毕竟这是事实。 但没有反应，我又敲了几下，同样如此。我果断地转动了把手，可是上了锁，门打不开。 也就是说，他不在这里。 正纳闷的时候，外面传来一阵汽车引擎启动的声音，有人把车停在了大楼边。我通过走廊上的窗户向外张望，一辆灰色的大篷卡车停在了网球场边，火也没熄。驾驶座的门开了，走下一个男人。他穿着工作服，但由于光线太暗，看不清脸，似乎是个不认识的男人。 我把脸贴近了窗户，那个男人打开了卡车后方的升降口。 两个男人向那里走了过去，我不由得瞪大了眼睛，尽管离得很远，但还是意识到了那是须藤教官和智彦。 接下来出现的物体，比他们的身影更引起了我的注意，那是一只横放在两辆推车上的长型的大箱子。从形状上看，像刚好可以装入一个冰箱的瓦楞纸盒。 卡车司机和须藤教官一前一后把箱子抱了起来，而智彦为了不妨碍到他们，走到了推车的一边。司机和须藤教官慢慢地把箱子搬到了卡车的载货台上，这幅场景简直就像葬礼上的出殡一样。 箱子稳稳地放上载货台后，司机关上了升降口。他和须藤教官交谈了几句后，坐进了驾驶座。大篷卡车就这样驶向了出口。 须藤教官和智彦目送着卡车奔驰而去，等它消失不见后，两人推着手推车迈开了脚步。 为了不和他们碰上，我往走廊另一边走去。不一会儿便加快了脚步，飞奔起来。 一种莫名的恐惧开始在心里蔓延。