Chapter 12 scene six

On the night of July 10th, I spent it with mixed feelings, and ordered a set meal at the cafeteria I often go to.Maybe Mayuko and Tomohiko are toasting white wine while tasting Italian food, I imagined while sipping my beer.Where do they go after they leave the restaurant?Still go for a drink?If there is a hotel in this restaurant, they can go directly to the bar with a night view.After a few cocktails, it's time to head to your reserved room. Wasn't this already expected?It's useless to be anxious now, the two of them are lovers, there's nothing strange about it, it's better to wish Zhiyan to be accompanied by happiness forever.I kept saying this to myself, but I just couldn't calm the chaotic thoughts.I went to the bar and bought a turkey, went back to my room, and started drinking whiskey.The reason why I don't go out to drink is because I don't know how drunk I will be.

As much as I tried to think about other happy things, my mind was full of the two of them.Where are those two people now and what are they doing?Did she accept Zhiyan's gift readily, and besides, did she decide to commit herself to him tonight?Thinking of this, Mayuko's naked body came to mind like a conditioned reflex, which is a scene that will be pictured in the mind every time she masturbates.It's a pity that I don't have this kind of mood today, I can't even get an erection, but my body becomes hot due to the strong anxiety.Although the TV was turned on, the eyes did not reflect the picture on the screen at all.What happened to the corruption at the big complex, whether the Giants won or not, what the weather will be like tomorrow, just fell on deaf ears.Staring at the serious face of the announcer, what appeared in my mind was a double bed on which Chihiko and Mayuko were lying.

What does this have to do with me, I suddenly thought, they are lovers now, there is nothing wrong with having physical contact.I myself had an affair with a woman, and to Mayuko, it was just a relationship with a man, and I can't continue to entangle with this kind of thing.However, just after I felt that I had made up my mind, I suddenly felt that I couldn't let go. I don't want this kind of thing to happen, and I don't want her to be taken away.On the other hand, in a certain corner of my mind, I was worried about whether Chihiko, who was still a virgin, would finally get what he wanted, and I was constantly conflicted in my heart.

After waking up, I sat up and seemed to have just fallen asleep for a while.A black and white western was playing on the TV, but my mind was still blank. Dong dong dong, there was a knock on the door, very rough.I stood up unsteadily, and asked before opening the door, "Who is it?" There was no response, so I became vigilant, stood quietly at the door, and observed the movement outside the door through the hole. Zhiyan was squatting there, and I opened the door in surprise. "What's wrong with you?" I grabbed Zhiyan's arm and helped him stand up.Zhiyan frowned, his face turned blue, and he exhaled a strong smell of alcohol.

"I want a drink of water," he yelled. "You go in first." I grabbed Zhiyan's arm, maybe the movement was too big and hurt him, his face was distorted in pain.It was the first time I saw Zhiyan drunk like this, and my drunkenness disappeared in a blink of an eye. After letting him drink water, he was just about to help him lie down, "I'm dizzy," he said, and then vomited on the spot.Chihiko offered to clean it for me, and I ordered him to stay still, and turned to get the cleaning tools.I can't help but think of the fellowship I had in college. After a while of scrambling, Zhiyan sat on my bed, and his mood stabilized, but his face was still surprisingly ugly.

"What happened?" I sat cross-legged on the ground, looked up at Chihiko and asked.But Zhiyan didn't answer, he put his head in his hands and kept silent.I had no choice but to switch the TV channel, but it was always some vulgar programs, and finally I had to switch back to the western drama again. At this time, Zhiyan muttered, "What?" I asked him. "She rejected me" His voice was louder than before. "Rejected? What's the matter?" "When we got into the room, she said to me, that's not okay" He folded his arms in his knees and rested his head on them.

I finally understood that Zhiyan had indeed booked a room at the hotel tonight. "Maybe it's inconvenient today," I said, "Women, all kinds of things will happen, you know." But Zhiyan shook his head, "It's not a physical problem, she said it herself." What is the reason for "then", I couldn't say this sentence, after all, I have no right to break the casserole here and ask the bottom line. Zhiyan said, "Let's go back today, she told me so" "Hey" I stared at the dirty walls of the room, not knowing what to say for a moment.

"In the end, we are nothing more than this kind of relationship, and it's my wishful thinking from the beginning to the end." "It's not like that" "That's the way it is, I know it myself" Zhiyan inserted his fingers into his hair and scratched it back and forth, making it messy. "She rejected me, and that's not the only thing" I looked up, "What does that mean?" "There are still things in the future. I told her that I want to get married as soon as possible." "and then?" "She said it would take some time to think about it"

"This is not rejecting you." "No, I understand in my heart that she is very difficult, it is a kind of tactful rejection." He shook his head more and more violently, "Today she has been acting strangely, and she has been absent-minded when she talks. All kinds of topics ended up being futile. She may feel unhappy with me, alas, it ended up like this in the end." He began to speak a little unclearly. Since I don't know what kind of conversation the two had, I can't judge whether Tomohiko's guess is correct or not.From what he said, it may not be as bad as he imagined, but I can completely understand his mood.He has no confidence in love at all, but now he has such an outstanding woman as Mayuko, and he has unnecessary worries, lest she will leave him.Therefore, his mood at the moment may be equivalent to the low ebb of ordinary people when they are in love.

Then again, what was Mayuko's plan in mind?Was she affected by what I did last night?This possibility should be the highest. Maybe Mayuko finally chose me instead of Chihiko? how is this possible!I immediately dismissed the feeble hope that came to me. Afterwards, Chihiko babbled nonchalantly with dull eyes, maybe Mayuko felt sympathy for him, and she really was no different from other women.Knowing him for so long, this is the first time I know that he will be drunk in such a slimy way.However, tonight is indeed a special day for him. For the whole night, I tried all kinds of comforting words, "Don't take it to heart, Chihiko. This kind of thing happens often, and she has to think carefully, but she hasn't made up her mind yet, she I like you, I promise"——

Alternating bouts of self-loathing, restlessness, and jealousy hit me.It is undeniable that after learning that Mayuko is still not owned by Tomohiko, I was indeed relieved and took pleasure in his misfortune. Not long after, Chihiko was snoring in bed, and I covered him with a blanket. I turned off the light and was about to lie down on the ground when I heard Chihiko call "Chongshi" "What's wrong?" I asked, but he didn't answer immediately, thinking he was still asleep, he spoke up. "Mayuko is such an outstanding woman." "yes" "No matter which man, he will be attracted by her. It is impossible not to be attracted" "……Maybe" "But other men can find other women, there are many options, and it doesn't have to be Mayuko" I hesitated for a moment and didn't answer. "But I only have Mayuko, there will never be another woman like her" I remain silent. "I don't want to lose her, and I don't want her to be taken away by anyone" I remained silent, knowing that Tomohiko was waiting for my answer in the dark, but there was nothing I could do. After dawn, Zhiyan disappeared, and he left a note on the bed: "I'm sorry for your inconvenience, Zhiyan" Monday-- After the experiment was over, I went to the vending machine to buy iced coffee.When the vending machine spit out paper cups, put crushed ice cubes on them, added espresso and a proper amount of water, I looked out of the window, and was surprised to find that on this hot summer day when the scenery in the distance seemed to be steamed, There were still people on the tennis court.What's even more surprising is that they are all instructors when playing. Although MAC has many instructors known for their physical strength, I never thought there were so many instructors. When I took out the paper cup from the vending machine, I noticed a man in jeans standing next to me. My eyes slowly moved up, and I found that Mayuko was smiling at me. The smile was complicated and slightly stiff. "Heh," I said, "I feel like I haven't seen you for a long time, it's only two days" "Yes." She put the change into the vending machine, pressed the button for iced green tea, and immediately heard the sound of the paper cup falling and putting ice cubes, "Didn't you come to the cafeteria to eat today?" "I went out to eat, haven't had mixed pancakes in years" "Miscellaneous pancakes? Oh?" ​​I want to eat it too. Seeing the situation, she seemed to want to say that, but she didn't say it in the end, but continued to ask, "Why don't you eat it in the cafeteria?" "Why do you want to talk about it?" I took a big sip of iced coffee, and the taste was as bad as usual, "Didn't I say that at that time, I have returned to eating together like before." The 'at that time' referred to was to send her time for gifts. "Didn't I say that too, I don't want this, so I don't want to accept your gift" "I don't want to act in front of you" Mayuko sighed, "It's really troublesome, why did it happen like this?" "I didn't mean to embarrass you" "But in fact, I am really embarrassed" "Sorry, I should apologize to you" "Don't you regret it?" "To be honest, I don't know myself. I don't deny that it's a joy to talk about things, but at the same time I also find myself doing a little too much" "You are really too much, I hope you are fully aware of this" Mayuko used a joking tone, and I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. "That guy came to my house" Mayuko was a little confused about what I said, maybe she didn't know what I was talking about, so I took another sip of coffee and continued, "It was your birthday, he was livid, his mouth was full of alcohol, and he stumbled." Mayuko held the paper cup to her chest, lowered her gaze, her eyelashes fluttered, "And then?" she urged me to continue. "He told me everything about his relationship with you. Although he was very drunk, I still understood the general content." "Really?" She drank the iced green tea in one gulp and let out a long sigh.Although the expression was very calm, I could tell that it was forced by her. "After hearing what he said, I'm very sad" I said to Mayuko. She squeezed the paper cup, turned around and threw it into the wastebasket, and said without looking back, "Don't get me wrong, I didn't agree to his request that day, not because I knew what you wanted, but because I wanted to re-examine myself It’s just my feelings for Chihiko. To be honest, I’m still very conflicted. I’m not sure whether it’s right or wrong to combine with Chihiko like this. Of course, it’s Tsuruga-kun who makes me waver. But if If my feelings for Zhiyan are sincere, I would not be shaken like this. I am shocked and disappointed by myself. At the same time, I am very glad that I realized this.” "That means my actions are not all bad for you?" "It seems so." She turned her head and tilted her head. "It's not kind of you to tell that guy," I said. "what?" "That's what I did to you" "How can this be said?" Mayuko looked at me with some anger, and then said sadly, "If I said it, wouldn't the relationship between the two of you be irretrievable?" Of course the two people here refer to me and Chihiko. "That's something that can't be helped. I betrayed him first. If that's the case, I don't expect my friendship with him to remain the same." "The friendship between the two doesn't just belong to Tsuruga, it's also a precious thing to him." "But I don't want to lie to him" I said to her profile, "There was a problem with the woman I love the most, and after getting drunk, Chihiko still came to me. That guy is still the most trusted, The one who relies on me the most. But I really want to tell him that I don’t deserve what he does to me” "He will go to Tsuruga's house to talk to you, which means you are worthy of trust." "But I'm the culprit who annoyed him so much. Don't you think it's strange that I concealed this and tried to comfort him hypocritically?" "But you still comfort me?" "I said a lot of things against my will, and I clearly hoped that he would break up in love." "It's okay to lie, if it works, it's good. You should do the same in the future, because you are good friends." "Don't say useless words" "What you said is useless. It took more than ten years to build a friendship carefully. Do you want to tear it down like a building block?" While we were looking at each other, three researchers in lab uniforms walked over, two of whom had a good relationship with me, so I forced a smile on my face and said hello to them. After the three of them walked over, I threw my own paper cup into the wastebasket. "How is Chihiko's mood today? Was he very depressed back then?" "Hmm...how should I put it?" Mayuko stroked her hair, "Although it doesn't look too different from usual, it's true that she's still a little unhappy." "Shouldn't you have lunch together as usual?" Mayuko closed her lips tightly, tilted her mouth, and replied, "I didn't eat together today." "Not together? Why?" "It is said that there is an experiment that I can't get away from, and I eat in rotation." "This kind of thing is really rare" "yes" "I think I'll do it according to my plan." When I said this, Mayuko raised her eyes uncomfortably. I looked at her and continued, "Even if there is a little crack in your relationship." She did get mad and glared at me, but I kept going, "that's the kind of man I am" Unexpectedly, her angry expression disappeared, and she raised her lowered head again, saying, "You have to promise me not to tell him" and then stretched out the little finger of her right hand. Her nails are very short, which is rare among young women See, it may be because it got in the way while doing the experiment. I stretched out my little finger and hooked it with hers, "He will find out one day, no, maybe he has already found out, and it's possible." I recalled the situation when Zhiyan came to my room after being drunk, I didn't want to lose her, and I didn't want her to be taken away by anyone—— "You must never let him find out, for the three of us" "In other words, you won't have an answer to my confession, will you?" Mayuko glanced at me, then lowered her head, "That's true." Her voice was quiet but firm.