Chapter 5 Chapter 2 Anxiety

When he came back to his senses, he found that there was a gray wall beside him, and he was leaning against it. It was a dark, narrow room surrounded on all sides. Tsuruga Takashi stood up, not knowing where he was and what he was doing for a moment.However, seeing his own appearance, he smiled wryly.His trousers were pulled up to his knees and he was sitting on a toilet bowl with his lower body completely exposed. He remembered, halfway through the work he had a slight urge to defecate, so he got up and went to the toilet.After taking off his pants and sitting on the toilet, he suddenly felt drowsy and fell asleep without knowing it.Although he couldn't remember if he finished urinating, the desire to defecate had disappeared, and he lifted his pants after urinating.

When he walked out of the single room, Chongshi immediately felt that he had seen a similar small room, as if he had dreamed that he was in the elevator, but he couldn't remember the details.But I immediately realized that this was due to sleeping in a narrow space. He glanced at his watch.It's only been ten minutes since he entered the toilet, and he breathed a sigh of relief because it was shorter than when he fell asleep.In fact, it's almost time to let the work come to an end. Chongshi returned to the laboratory, waiting at the door for a young employee from the equipment department who just graduated from high school this year, with a trolley beside him.

"Do you still want to do the experiment today?" He asked Chongshi. "No, it's finished, you can take it back." Chongshi opened the door and let him into the room.There was no sign of Sudou in the room, and another group was meeting at the side of the baffle. The young clerk nodded in agreement and lifted the cage containing Joey and Whoopi to the cart. The management of experimental animals is the responsibility of the equipment department.The department where the animals are borrowed can carry out general feeding, but they must be returned to the breeding department of the equipment department from Thursday evening to Monday morning.The health of the animals is checked during this time, and if there is a problem, that department has to improve its experimental methods.

"Woopi still looks weird, is there anything unusual?" Chong Shi asked, pointing to the shrinking female chimpanzee in the cage. The staff of the young equipment department also expressed puzzlement, "I'm not sure, it's hard to say anything without a health check...but if there is any abnormality, I should contact you." "That's what it says." Chongshi looked at Wupi, trying to dispel the growing anxiety in his heart.During the recent experiment, this little guy often showed a blank expression, and he has been very worried. "I want to go to the breeding room to have a look," said Chongshi when the young man was pushing the cart away. "Can you show me the way?"

"Huh?" The young man showed a troubled expression, looked at the cage in a panic, and then at Chongshi.Finally, he choked out a sentence, "Well, I don't think it's appropriate." "Inappropriate? Why?" "Well, I'm not very clear about it. Nobody is allowed to enter there now, and they will be scolded if they find out." He scratched his head, speaking incoherently. "Ah, yes, that can't be helped." "Sorry" the boy bowed and walked out of the room. He couldn't help being puzzled that the staff in the equipment department had such a big reaction to what he said casually.That employee probably didn't know anything about it, it's just that the leader told him that no one else should be allowed to enter the breeding room.Chongshi thought about why he needed to be so vigilant, but he couldn't think of a reasonable answer at all.

After leaving the company, I took a long detour to Shinjuku.In fact, there is no purpose, just a sudden desire to go to that street.This feeling is like looking for something worth remembering. After wandering the streets for a while, I walked into the Kinokuniya Bookstore.Standing at the counter of professional books for a while, someone suddenly patted him on the shoulder from behind.Chongshi turned his head, and after realizing who the other party was, he burst into a happy smile, and it turned out to be a classmate named Okabe University. "Long time no see, how are you?" Chong Shi asked.

"Well, it's not bad, I haven't been expelled yet." The loud voice has not changed from the time in college. Walking out of the bookstore, the two of them entered a coffee bar.Okabe graduated from the same school as Takashi with a major in model control, and is now working in a sports equipment manufacturer.His skin was still wheat-colored and rough, but the gray suit looked like it, which proved that he was much calmer than before.Chongshi thought that he had just stepped into society this spring, and was curious about what he would look like. After reminiscing about their school days for a while, the two talked about the employment of their classmates: some were married and had children, and some were assigned to factories in other places that were not acclimatized.

"I also heard a little about you. It is said that you have lived together?" Okabe, who has been very straightforward since his student days, asked straightforwardly.So be it, Chongshi replied briefly. "I really envy you," Okabe said, shaking his head. "I hardly have any relationship with women, but you have always been very popular with girls before, and you also work for Vitec?" "Yeah." Chongshi nodded, and gave him a general introduction to Mayuko's background. She just joined the company last year and worked with MAC for a year. "Oh, so you paid attention to that girl after she came in?" Okabe said with a smile.

"No, to be precise, I should have met before joining MAC, through someone else's introduction" "Really, who introduced you? Have I heard of this person?" "You must know him, it's Sanlun." After Chongshi finished speaking, he was also taken aback.By the way, he was the one who introduced Mayuko to himself, and he completely forgot about it before.Why would you forget?Is it just because there is no chance to remember—— "Three rounds? Ah, that guy." Okabe seemed to recall, nodding sharply. "He has a good relationship with you, but it's surprising that that guy would meet that kind of woman."

"He said he met at the computer mall" "Well, did you have a girlfriend in those three rounds?" "Well, let me think about it, no, not yet" as he said, a burst of inexplicable anxiety hit Chongshi. "Well, that guy is really different." Okabe smiled wryly, "I don't have a girlfriend, but I still introduce it to you." "Well, indeed..." Chong Shi lowered his head, looking at the coffee in his cup. At that time, Tomohiko said that Mayuko was a companion he met in the computer mall, and the two were just ordinary friends.He said he wanted to introduce himself, so he went to Shinjuku that day.At least, that's how Chongshi remembered it.

No, Chongshi's chest was suddenly congested. Is it really? Sudden thoughts brought a burst of doubts, and the fire of memory began to flicker and blur.Tomohiko introduced Mayuko as his lover at the time, right?However, that woman was the object of his love at first sight—— No, no, Chongshi immediately denied this statement, it was just a dream a few days ago, not reality.He seemed confused. "So what's that guy doing now?" Ok?Chongshi raised his head again, "What are you doing?" "He entered Vitec with you, right? How is it now?" "Ah, yes." Chongshi took a sip of the cold coffee, "Well, he should be fine now." Okabe was a little surprised, opened his eyes wide and said, "Don't you see each other very often?" "Well, that guy is now at the head office in Los Angeles," Chong Shi replied. "Wow, in the United States. It must be very good to be promoted to the head office." This is what Okabe learned through other companies. "Aren't you coming back for a while?" "This." Chongshi shook his head, "I don't know too well." "Well, you two are so good at first," Okabe said with emotion, and nodded a few times.This mature behavior proves that he also knows that it is impossible to be like a student after entering the society. The two walked out of the coffee shop side by side, and after arriving at the station together, Takashi and Okabe said goodbye and walked back and forth.He needs to gather his thoughts. That was Miwa Tomohiko's business. In fact, Chongshi only recently found out about his going to Los Angeles, and he heard about it from Sudou the day after he had that strange dream.During the MAC era, Sudou was Tomohiko's direct mentor. "Because it was so sudden, maybe he didn't even have a chance to say hello. He will contact you in a few days, and it's almost time to settle down." To the surprised Takashi, Sudou gave such an explanation. But as far as Chongshi is concerned, this reason makes no sense at all.No matter how urgent it is, it is impossible for Zhiyan not to contact him at all.Like at least one phone call from the airport before departure. What's even more incredible is that I have been graduating from MAC for more than two months, but I have completely ignored the whereabouts of this friend.What have I been doing for the past two months?He thought back, he actually remembered clearly what he had done, but why he couldn't remember Chihiko at all, he couldn't find a reasonable explanation for this at all. Is it Los Angeles— I felt a dull pain in my heart. It was Chongshi's long-cherished wish to be promoted to the head office in the United States. If the achievements at MAC are recognized, then this dream is likely to come true.However, he has not waited for the nomination from the head office.But in fact, the head office chose Zhiyan, and Chongshi must admit that his jealousy still exists until now. Zhiyan might have gone to the United States silently because he didn't want to hurt his friend, Chongshi thought about it, but he immediately denied himself: This kind of problem will not affect our relationship. Chongshi walked with a tangled heart, and when he passed the gate of Isetan, his eyes suddenly stopped on the commercial building opposite.There was a row of catering promotional signs hanging on it, and when he saw one of the shops, he stopped. What he caught in his sight was the signboard with 'Coconut Fruit' written on it. A burst of complicated thoughts flooded Chongshi's mind, so disorganized that it couldn't even be called thinking.Bear the brunt of the memory of this restaurant.A year ago, he brought Mayuko and Tomohiko here, and Tomohiko, who was drunk, chatted with Mayuko about soft tennis. After that moment, another scene vaguely appeared in his mind, which was very similar to the memory he had just emerged, only slightly different.He took a deep breath and found this difference, that is, his mood in this memory, and he felt a sense of guilt towards Zhiyan.When he realized that this guilt was due to his admiration for his best friend's lover, Chongshi turned pale in astonishment.Following the dream of the previous few days, the illusion that Mayuko was Tomohiko's lover reappeared in the brain circuit again. He tried to recall the scene in more detail: while drinking wine, he chatted with Mayuko, woke up the drunk Chihiko and left the bar, and then sent her back to the residence—— From here, the memory began to blur, and a clear scene emerged instead: Chihiko and Mayuko gradually left hand in hand. This is impossible, Chongshi shook his head, after they separated from him, they went home together?There will never be such a thing.Then, he asked himself, if it wasn't reality, where did he see this scene? Sweat dripped from his brow.Several white-collar people looked at Chong Shi in surprise and walked over.He also left there. Is it a dream again?On the bumpy tram, Chongshi thought, did I take the dream as something that actually happened?It seems that this is the only way to think.But why would I have this dream all of a sudden?Does this dream have anything to do with the recent inability to remember Tomohiko? Chong Shi couldn't find a suitable answer no matter how he thought, so Chong Shi returned to the apartment with a heavy heart.Mayuko seems to have returned, and the lights in the window are on. "What's the matter with you, you look so bad?" Mayuko said when she saw that he didn't take off his shoes when she went out to greet her, and stared blankly at her. "No, it's nothing." He took off his shoes and walked into the room. There was a box of sushi on the dining table, which Mayuko should have bought from school. Chongshi changed his clothes and returned to the table. Mayuko immediately served him a bowl of clear soup. Before reaching out his hand, Chongshi asked: "Hey, Mayuko, do you remember Tomohiko?" "Mr. Three Wheels?" The eyebrow on her right raised slightly, but otherwise there was no change in her expression, at least Chongshi couldn't tell. "I remember, of course I remember." He smiled softly, "What's the matter, you asked me so suddenly?" "Do you know how that guy is doing now?" "I don't know." She blinked her eyes, "I haven't heard anything." "Knew it" "What really?" "That guy is now in the United States, the head office in Los Angeles, I just heard about it recently" "Oh? That's amazing." Mayuko took a sip of the soup, stretched out her chopsticks and picked up a piece of sushi.Chongshi could not see any strange expression on her face. "Sanlu was well received by the instructors when he was at MAC" "Don't you think it's strange?" Chongshi said, "Why haven't we both thought of Zhiyan until now, and we have completely forgotten such an important friend?" "It can't be said that you have forgotten, but you just don't have time to think about it? You have been desperately adapting to your new life for the past two months." "Even so, it's not normal to think about it at all. I used to be so close at MAC" Mayuko originally wanted to eat prawn sushi, but put it back in the box, frowning in confusion. "That's what I said, but I can't help it if I can't remember." Chongshi nodded and stirred in the wooden bowl with chopsticks. "You're right, no matter how unbelievable it is, it's reality and there's nothing you can do about it." "What on earth are you trying to say? So what if you can't remember about Sanwa?" Mayuko looked suspiciously at Chongshi's face. "I don't know, I just can't figure it out." Chongshi didn't use chopsticks, he picked up a piece of sushi and stuffed it into his mouth. The taste of seaweed was not good at all. Mayuko was a little puzzled by his inexplicable words, so she turned to make tea.While staring at her, another wonderful image appeared in Chongshi's mind: she was standing next to Zhiyan pouring tea into his teacup.He shook his head, trying to erase the image. Of course he didn't tell her about the strange dream he had a few days ago.Because I was afraid that she would make a joke, and I was also afraid that she would be angry.But the feeling he felt after seeing the signboard of 'Coconut Fruit' today made him unable to keep silent. "May I ask you a strange question?" he said. "What you said just now is strange enough." Mayuko put the tea bowl in front of him, "Okay, you say" "You and Zhiyan, are you two, um, just ordinary friends?" Mayuko shut her mouth tightly, and her expression turned gloomy, "What do you mean?" Her voice also became low, "Are you doubting my relationship with Sanwa?" "No, that's not what I mean, I want to know—" Chongshi was at a loss for words at this point. He thought, what exactly did he want to know? To be honest, he really wanted to confirm whether he and Mayuko were real lovers last year.But he knew that this question was pure nonsense.It is precisely because the two are lovers that they started their current life. "I'm sorry, my mind is a little out of order, you forget what I just said." He clutched his forehead, a burst of chest tightness made him lose interest in the sushi in front of him.He stood up from the chair, "I want to lie down for a while, my head hurts" "Are you okay?" Mayuko immediately came to him. "Well, maybe I'm too tired" "One hundred percent yes" Mayuko gently held his wrist, showing melancholy eyes.Chongshi felt that she made such an expression because she was worried about her body. Originally playing chess after taking a shower was one of their hobbies, but this night they didn't spread out the chessboard and went to bed early.Chongshi slightly opened his right armpit, and Mayuko got in.He turned over, hugged her waist with his left hand, and stretched his fingers into her pajamas. When he was about to pull off her underwear, Mayuko said with a smile. "Aren't you tired?" "It's okay," he said, starting to caress.After taking off her lower body clothes, she also took off her own underwear, crossed her legs, and both of their feet were a little sweaty.She picks up his penis and he gets an erection. The two looked at each other and smiled, he tried to kiss her, and she closed her eyes. At this time, Chongshi had another ominous thought. When he saw Zhiyan's face, a sense of guilt welled up in his heart, and his heart was occupied by anxiety.This storm-like sense of oppression is enough to take away Chongshi's sexual desire. Mayuko opened her eyes, a little surprised, because she felt that the penis in her hand was shrinking rapidly. "What's the matter?" she asked quietly. "Nothing" he replied. But at least the night was aborted, he couldn't get an erection.Mayuko patted his chest lightly and said, "This is normal, don't worry." Chongshi didn't answer, but just stared straight into the depths of the darkness.