Chapter 6 Futaba Chapter 3

The air-conditioned room reverberated with the sound of monks chanting sutras. I thought monks were all bald, but the abbot in front of the altar had black hair. He looked even and steady, as expected of an abbot. I had made up my mind not to cry today, but when I saw my mother's picture when I was burning incense, tears still flowed out.In the past two days, my tears have not stopped. I have rarely cried since I was a child. Maybe these two days have made up for all the crying. The whole funeral was held inside the building. I didn't know what kind of funeral my mother liked, so I had to choose the most ordinary mode according to the funeral company's suggestion. Even the mourning hall for the funeral is set inside the steel frame building these days.

The events of the night before were vaguely resurfaced in my sleep-deprived head. So many things happened at once that my sense of time was numb, and I had the illusion that a week had passed. The speed at which the funeral home grasped the information was astonishing. On the night my mother passed away, they came to the hospital to discuss the follow-up with me.I obviously didn't contact them, and after asking, I found out that this funeral home has a good relationship with Guyuan Hospital, and it was the nurses who informed them. Words might be a good thing.My mother used to say to me like this: "Futaba, if you have time to cry, it's better to imagine how to go next."

"Excuse me, are there any other relatives?" The funeral staff wearing black plastic-rimmed glasses asked, and I remembered that there was a relative who had to be contacted, and that was my uncle who lived in Machida.He is my mother's elder brother, about fifty years old, with white hair and looks like a scholar. In fact, his uncle is an iron factory owner with a gentle personality. When he smiles, his eyes narrow into slits.My uncle still lives in the hometown where my mother grew up. He has a wife and three sons. Two are in high school and one is in middle school. These three sons are full of pimples. Every time I get close, I am afraid of being infected. .

The uncle and aunt were shocked when they heard the news of their mother's death, and rushed to the hospital immediately. The usually gentle uncle learned that the other party had hit and run, roaring and knocking on the walls like a beast, and wailing throughout the quiet hospital; With tears streaming down his face, he caressed the back of his husband who lost his sister. After seeing the body, my uncle and his wife immediately joined the discussion between me and the funeral home.To be honest, I have a feeling of being saved. I have no idea what price to choose for a coffin and an altar.

My uncle told me to go home and have a good rest. He said they would take care of the rest of the matter. I accepted his offer and went back to the apartment that night, but I couldn't sleep at all, and of course I cried all night again.Obviously I had been crying for a long time when I heard the news of my mother’s death, but the tears did not dry up at all. Staying at home and looking around, everything was full of my mother’s memories, and I couldn’t stop crying.As I cried, I pictured the guy who killed my mother with a car, and the hatred grew stronger and stronger. When it was almost dawn, I was probably numb from crying, and the sadness became intermittent, and the most embarrassing thing was that I was hungry.So I slowly got out of bed, poured the curry hot on the rice and ate it, my tongue couldn't tell the taste at all, but after I finished eating, I added another plate, thinking that these curries were supposed to be eaten with my mother, tears It flowed down again.

I couldn't fall asleep, but I couldn't keep my mind awake, and I lay in bed in a daze.The doorbell rang around ten o'clock in the morning. I thought it was my uncle and the others. Looking through the small window on the door, there were three policemen in uniform outside the door. One is a policeman from the Traffic Section of Shakujii Police Station, and the other two are criminal policemen from the First Search Section. Although I don't want to be seen with red and swollen eyes, I really want to hear the police's explanation, so I have to invite these three people into the narrow room. kitchen.

First, the young traffic police officer explained to me the general circumstances of the car accident. He said that my mother was hit on a residential street with little traffic.My mother was walking on the road after leaving Guyuan Hospital, and was hit by a car from behind, but the road was wide and one-way, and car accidents rarely happened in the past. "The time of the accident was around 8:50. Residents nearby heard the noise and came to check. When they found the car accident, they called an ambulance. The ambulance arrived immediately and took her to the nearest hospital, but she was in critical condition at that time. pretty fast."

"Hemorrhage in the head on the side of the skull, rupture of the spleen and liver... It's like falling from a building." I recalled how the doctor described it. "Didn't my mother notice that there was a car approaching from behind? If she had noticed, she would have swerved to the side of the road, right?" I asked. The traffic police officer thought for a while and said: "Maybe I didn't notice it, or maybe I noticed it but thought it wouldn't hit it so soon, but unfortunately the driver didn't notice the person in front of him." I really wanted to yell, "It's not like you can shirk responsibility if you don't notice it", but I reluctantly endured it.

"Excuse me... do you have any clues about the perpetrator?" This is what I care most about. "We have already found out the type of car." A middle-aged criminal policeman with his hair combed back immediately replied.His chin is sharp, which gives people a cold impression. "According to the paint flakes and tire marks on the scene, the accident was a white Toyota LITE ACE box car produced in 1990. We are filtering the owner, but we have There are a lot of people in this car." "LITE ACE..." The perpetrator was driving a van, which surprised me, although I have seen a lot of rampant commercial vans, "Are there no witnesses?"

"That's the problem." The criminal police frowned and said, "From last night to now, we have asked many people near the scene of the accident, but no one has said that they have seen the vehicle involved in the accident, but several people did I heard the car hit something." "That's it." I don't know how much the witness who just heard the car accident will help the search, but judging from the policeman's expression, there should be no need to look forward to it. "About the tire marks just mentioned..." the policeman from the Traffic Division said, "After we carefully checked the road surface, we found that there were far fewer brake marks in this case than in ordinary cases, and we didn't find that the driver saw Miss Xiaolin at the moment. There were no traces of emergency braking and no traces of stopping after the collision. We believe that the driver did not slow down at all during the collision, and drove away directly after hitting someone. Therefore, when nearby residents heard the noise and came out to check, the perpetrator had already Escaping without a trace."

"It's not surprising that you didn't step on the brakes before the collision. The driver may not be paying attention and didn't notice until the collision." The sharp-jawed criminal policeman said: "However, it's not quite right to run away without stopping at all after the collision. .” "What do you mean?" My eyebrows raised involuntarily. The criminal policeman raised his face slightly, "To put it simply, even a hit-and-run will leave brake marks after hitting someone. If you accidentally hit someone, the first reaction is usually to step on the brakes. This is the driver's instinct. .If you can drive, you should be able to understand it, right?" "I understand." I nodded.I got my driver's license last year. "The driver will get out of the car to check the condition of the injured, and a conscientious driver will call an ambulance immediately regardless of the condition of the injured, but a small number of drivers will have stupid thoughts in their hearts at this time—— "If you call the police, you will have to bear criminal responsibility. If this guy dies, my life will be ruined. I'd better run away. No one will see me anyway, so I shouldn't be caught." A selfish driver like this They’d just get back in their car and drive off.” "But the perpetrator who hit and killed my mother didn't go through these hesitation processes?" "Judging by the brake marks, it is true. The driver took action as soon as he hit Miss Xiaolin." A bitter taste spread in my mouth, and I couldn't help swallowing. "Excuse me, does this mean that the driver originally planned to kill my mother..." Halfway through my speech, the detective shook his head. "It is still impossible to say for sure, because there are not no cases of accidental accidents and then fleeing immediately, but our current search direction does not rule out the possibility of deliberate crimes." Premeditated crime, meaning, it was a murder?Someone deliberately killed Mom?how is this possible?Who wants to kill mom? "So we want to ask you, assuming this was a deliberate crime, do you have any idea of ​​who might be involved?" "No, I have no idea at all." I shook my head immediately.It's not the result of deliberation, it's just a reflex action. "Has Miss Kobayashi Zhibao been pestered by others, or has someone hated her? No, it should be said..." The sharp-chinned criminal policeman quickly added: "When I say being hated, it is often because the goodwill of the person involved has been misinterpreted, so we I still have to check with you." "Who would hate my mother...?" I tried to remember, but my mind went blank.In my impression, my mother did have a few small disputes with others, but I couldn't remember any of them for a while. "No way, I can't think of it." I cried with a sad face. "Ever get a weird phone call?" "About a year ago I was getting silent calls a lot, but recently it's gone." "I see." The middle-aged policeman winked at the young policeman beside him who was taking notes, and then said to me: "Then, is there anything unusual about Miss Kobayashi Shiho's recent behavior?" "Unusual..." This is when I finally regained my ability to think, and I remembered something that I should tell the police. "Is there? It doesn't matter how trivial it is, please tell us." "I thought of something about my going on TV." I told the dispute between me and my mother, and I told the criminal police that my mother's attitude against me being on TV was very unusual. I tried my best to explain, but the criminal police just With a disappointed face, he said "some people really hate the entertainment industry", which is completely indifferent.I told the criminal police that my mother became very depressed after I went on TV, which seemed to arouse the interest of the criminal police, but he still didn’t think the car accident had something to do with my TV, and asked me instead: “Is your mother depressed? Maybe it’s something else?” I categorically answered “Impossible”, but I really doubt how much the criminal police believed. Then the criminal police asked me: "Are there any other unusual places?" So I told about the gentleman's visit. "A university teacher who used to work with my mother came to see my mother the day before yesterday, but I didn't meet her." The criminal police asked me for their names, and I replied that I didn't know, all I knew was that they seemed to be research assistants at the same university. By the way, I told the criminal police that there was a man who was spying on me in the university. The criminal police seemed very interested and asked me the names of the friends who were interviewed. After the police left, I tried to think about the possibility of my mother being murdered, and the conversation I had with my mother before going on TV stuck to me the most. "Could something bad happen if I show my face outside?" At that time, when my mother heard my question, she answered seriously: "If I say that's the case, are you willing to give up the idea?" "No way..." I couldn't help muttering to myself.Isn't that so?Mom..., does the so-called "bad thing" mean that you will be killed?impossible? A wave of dizziness hit me, and I lay back on the bed. The vigil started in the evening, and today I have to stay in the mourning hall all night. There are many iron chairs lined up in front of the altar. I sat on one of them and my hair was stunned. My uncle said to me, "You should go to sleep." "No, I can't sleep." "Don't ruin your body." My uncle sat down beside me, but he actually looked more tired than me. We first talked about some memories about my mother, and then we talked about the car accident. It turned out that the criminal police also went to find my uncle. The uncle said that when the criminal police asked him if he thought anyone wanted to kill his sister, he said loudly that he absolutely would not. possible. "I told the criminal police that if my sister was deliberately killed by someone, there is only one possibility, and that is that the murderer has a problem with his head. It is the same for him to kill anyone. He just happened to see Zhibao so that he would take her as a victim. .” Uncle said that the murderer has a problem with his head, and I agree with both hands. I told my uncle that a man came to see my mother the night before she passed away. The man seemed to be a colleague of my mother’s when she was a research assistant at the university. After hearing this, my uncle nodded and said: "No wonder the detective asked me about Shiho's past experience, so that's what happened. After all, it was a long time ago, before Futaba and you were born. I don't think that visitor has anything to do with the car accident, Shiho is now I have no contact with anyone from that university." "What's the name of that university?" "Beidou Medical University, don't you know?" "I seem to have heard of it when I was in middle school, but at that time I didn't feel the name of the university at all, and my mother didn't like to talk about the past. It turned out to be Hokuto Medical University. Isn't that school quite famous? It's in Sapporo, right?" "No, in Asahikawa. When she said she wanted to work in medicine, I thought it was nothing. I was surprised when she said she wanted to go to a university in Asahikawa. At that time, your grandparents were still there. The three of us convinced her Give it up, but you also know her personality, and left home after completing the formalities without authorization. After Zhibao left, your grandparents died of illness one after another, she seemed very guilty, and cried like something when she came back for the funeral." "Then why did mom leave university and come back to Tokyo?" When I asked, my uncle's slack bags under his eyes trembled slightly, "Well..." Uncle tilted his head and hesitated. He is not good at lying. At this moment, an intuition flashed in my mind. "Uncle." I sat up straight and looked at him, "I'm already twenty years old, I can withstand the shock to some extent. My mother passed away, and I want to know my own life experience, so I hope you can tell me the truth. Uncle , Is my mother's return to Tokyo related to my birth?" It seems that I guessed it right. Uncle looked away from me and stared at the smooth polished oil-plastic floor. After a while, he walked to the altar, folded his hands and worshiped, and then came back. "I'll ask Shiho for permission and ask her if I can tell you the truth." "What did mom say?" "I feel like she's saying, 'There's really nothing you can do with this child.' So I think she can." The uncle narrowed his eyes, and moved his eyes to the floor again. "But, I don't know much about it." "It's okay, just tell me everything." "Okay." Uncle nodded. "I don't remember what month and date it was. It should be the end of the year. Shiho, who was supposed to stay in Asahikawa, came back suddenly and asked me if I could lend her some money. I wasn't surprised to borrow money. What was dumbfounded was that she was pregnant at the time, so I kept asking her who the object was and what happened on behalf of the deceased grandparents, but she refused to reveal the name of the father of the child, only saying that she would She stayed at a friend’s house until the baby was born, and told me that I must never tell anyone about it. I asked her why, but she refused to tell. Later, just like her plan, she disappeared the next day.” "Who is that friend?" "Her friend in girls' high school used to be called Chang... Changjiang." "I know this person." I remembered the New Year's card that I would receive from her every year. "I really wanted to know the truth, so I called Shiho several times, but she always told me not to ask too many questions. Of course I was worried about her, and I could only do as she said. Then one day, a professor at Hokuto Medical University Come and find me." "Professor...? What's your name?" "Sorry, I don't remember the name." Uncle's two eyebrows drooped at an angle of 8:20, "Because I only met him once, and it's not a very common surname in my impression. I just remember that he is quite old. Yes, very thin." "It's no wonder that uncle doesn't have any impression. After all, it's only a one-time relationship. But why did that professor come to you?" "He said he wanted to see Zhibao. I guess he wanted to take Zhibao back. When I thought that Zhibao might be hiding from these people, of course he refused to tell her whereabouts. I didn't say a word from the beginning to the end. That The professor knew that I couldn’t persuade me, so I left. Later, when Zhibao came home, I still remember her expression was very cheerful, as if she had let go of the burden in her heart. I asked her if the matter was resolved, and she said That's right, I heard from her later that the professor actually found her place, but she drove him away, and then Zhibao stayed at home, and gave birth to a baby girl safely in May." That baby girl was me. "You know what happened next. Zhibao has a nurse's license, so I worked as a nurse to earn living expenses to raise you. I told her that I could also help take care of the children, but she refused to say anything and insisted on being alone. Bring you up. I borrowed her money at the beginning, and she paid it back in a short time. " I know this part very well, how my mother worked so hard to grow me up, I understand better than anyone. "So who is my father..." Uncle shook his head, "Only this point, she still didn't tell me in the end. I guess it should be someone from the university, but Zhibao said no." "Could it be that professor from Beidou Medical University?" "I thought about it too, but Zhibao laughed out loud after hearing this, and said that I guessed wrong, and I heard that her laughter must not be faked." "Oh……" "So I guess your father might have died around that time." "You mean when Mom stayed in Asahikawa?" "Yeah." The uncle nodded, "Zhibao may have a private life with that person, but that person passed away suddenly and couldn't get married, and Zhibao had a child in his belly, so the man's parents wanted to take the child away, but Zhibao refused. So Shiho fled back to Tokyo overnight. I think that’s probably what happened, the professor from Hokuto Medical University might be their matchmaker.” "It's amazing." I stared blankly at my uncle, and couldn't help admiring his imagination. "It's like filming a series." "Otherwise, how do you explain this situation? If your father was still alive, he would definitely come to see you. Even if he doesn't want to see Shiho, he still wants to see you. Parents have the same heart." "Perhaps." These words from the uncle's mouth were particularly convincing. Even though the three sons' faces were covered with pimples and looked terribly dirty, the uncle still felt extremely painful. "That's all I know." Uncle couldn't hide his loneliness. "Only Zhibao knows the truth. But I think it's okay. Although I can understand your desire to know who your father is, knowing the truth Not necessarily a good thing." "I didn't expect anything good either." I said with a slight smile, "But there is one thing I've always been very concerned about, and it's related to my appearance on TV last week." I told my uncle about my mother's objection to my going on TV. The uncle looked suspicious, "Why? She has no reason to object? It's not something deviant to be on TV." "Strange, isn't it?" "Well, children are cute in the eyes of parents. Even if they are not beautiful like Futaba, parents are very happy when their children can be on TV." The uncle said in a very serious tone, and then he walked towards the altar to face his mother. The photo said: "Hey, Zhibao, you are dead, why do you give us such a problem? I really can't stand you." "Good scolding." I said softly. Ceremonies such as exhumation, cremation, and bone collection were held one after another. Finally, the funeral came to an end after the relatives and friends had dinner together. I don’t know how many people came to express their condolences. Although most of them were people from my mother’s hospital and my uncle’s friends. I also have a lot of friends, which was beyond my expectation. I later found out that my bandmates helped me inform everyone. After the funeral, my uncle and aunt and I went back to our apartment to assemble the small Buddhist altar provided by the funeral home and put the tablets and ashes on it. Just then the doorbell rang, and the sharp-jawed criminal policeman from the Shakujii Police Station came again. "We found the white LITE ACE." The criminal police standing at the door said immediately: "There is a shopping mall about one kilometer east of the accident scene. The car was left in the parking lot of the shopping mall. The headlight on the left was damaged. The traces, it was judged that it was hit recently." When the uncle heard this, he hurried to the entrance, "Have you caught the murderer?" "That's the problem." The detective said with a sullen face, "That's a stolen car." "Stolen car..." I thought about the meaning, and an inexplicable unhappiness welled up in my heart. "We received a notice of the theft yesterday morning. The owner of the car is at the Diku Painting Company. It is him. Do you know him?" The criminal police took out a copy of the driver's license, and I have no memory of the name or face on it. "I don't know." I said.Uncle and aunt gave the same answer. "Really?" The detective seemed not surprised and put away the copybook. "Excuse me..." Uncle scratched his cheek and said, "The stolen car means that it wasn't this person who drove the car at the time?" "At least it wasn't the owner of the car." The detective immediately replied, "Miss Kobayashi Zhibao was in a party at the time of the car accident. He estimated that there would be drinking at the party, so he didn't drive when he went out." It seems that the criminal police meant that he had an alibi. "It doesn't mean you have to drive the car yourself? Maybe it's his family? No, since he runs a company, maybe the murderer is his employee." "You're right." The detective agreed with the uncle's argument, "In fact, there are such cases where the murderer deliberately left the car somewhere and then reported the theft to the police in order to cover up the crime of hit-and-run, especially such reports The case where the time of the theft occurred later than the time of the accident is particularly suspicious, but this company does not employ any employees, and the only family member who can drive is a 25-year-old eldest man." The uncle opened his eyes wide, with an expression of "so the murderer is this guy". "We have brought the older man back for questioning. He said he was watching TV at home when the incident happened, but the only witness was his mother." "The testimony of family members should not be valid, right?" the uncle dilated his nostrils. "What kind of person is he?" Hearing my question, the policeman froze for a moment. "What kind of person..., you mean...?" "Does it look like someone who can drive on a rampage?" "Oh, you're asking this..." "Futaba, in fact, even a well-behaved person will change his personality when he drives a car. Isn't that what people often say?" Aunt interjected in her unique tone.Uncle seemed a little impatient, but he still nodded frequently and said, "That's right, that's right." "This eldest man is also a serious and responsible young man at first glance." The criminal police said: "But based on years of experience, we know very well how unreliable the so-called first impression is." "Yes, I think so too." "What did the owner say about how the car was stolen?" I changed the question. "He said that he parked the car on the road behind his house. On the morning of the accident, he saw the car and suddenly disappeared in the afternoon. He thought that this kind of commercial vehicle should not be stolen, so the key was often left unplugged." "That's an old-fashioned statement." Uncle obviously didn't believe it at all. "However..." the detective went on to say, "When we found the car, there was a little smell of hairdressing agent left on the driver's seat, but no one in this painting company uses such things. The father is bald, and the son also had five haircuts. minute." "Hair conditioner...is it a plastic mousse or something?" I asked. "No, it should be a hair tonic or hair sculpting lotion, and it has a strong citrus scent." "Citrus scent..." Then the criminal police asked me if I had encountered any strange things in the past two days. I said that the funeral and the vigil made me dizzy, and even if there were, I would not be aware of them.The criminal policeman nodded frequently after hearing this, as if he could understand it very well. "About the university teacher who came to my mother the day before the accident, have you investigated it?" Seeing that the criminal police seemed to be planning to leave, I hurriedly asked. "Oh, we've questioned that man, but there's nothing suspicious about it." "How to say……?" "He works at Hokuto Medical University, and his name is Fujimura. Last Friday he came to Tokyo on a business trip. The day before he left, he stopped by to visit Ms. Kobayashi Shiho. The next morning, he took the earliest flight back to Asahikawa. He appeared in class in the afternoon." It seemed that this person also had an alibi, and the criminal policeman went on to say: "I told him about Miss Xiaolin's death, and he seemed very sad. He said that they hadn't seen each other for twenty years. I didn't expect such a thing to happen to Miss Xiaolin shortly after we met. He felt like a god of doom. Oh, yes, he asked me to say hello to you." Being greeted in such a way by someone I don't know, I didn't know how to respond, so I replied vaguely: "Oh." Three or four days have passed since the funeral, and today is already Wednesday. Since the first seven ceremonies were finished ahead of schedule on the day of the funeral, there is no need to worry about the funeral for the time being, but there are still many troublesome things such as insurance procedures, but after all, my mother bought insurance for my sake, and I should be grateful. What's more, when I think about the days to come, this insurance money may be the lifeblood of my life. When it comes to money, compensation is also an important point, but this part should not be expected. The owner of the LITE ACE that killed my mother still insisted that the car was stolen, and the police could not find evidence to overturn this claim; as for The eldest son under suspicion, the police also seem to intend to accept his alibi. Just by looking at the faces of the criminal police officers at the Shakumii Police Station, you can tell that the search has not progressed. I even wonder if they have continued to seriously investigate the case. The biggest move they have made in the past two days is probably just to erect a police station at the accident site. The notice board of witnesses, but if there were witnesses, they would have come forward a long time ago. Doing this kind of thing now is just self-consolation. The police seem to have grown to believe that this was a simple hit and run case, but I don't think so.What my mother said at the beginning became a prophecy. After I went on TV, something bad happened. I don’t think it’s just a coincidence. There must be a conspiracy behind it. In other words, my mother was murdered. While thinking about these things, I started to sort out my mother's belongings. I wanted to put my mother's clothes and other sundries into the cardboard box first.This has two meanings, first, since I have no plans to move for the time being, I should organize the living space into a state suitable for living alone; second, I want to immerse myself in the memory one last time by touching the things my mother usually uses .That is to say, tidying up relics has both rational and emotional benefits. I think this should be of great help to maintain a stable mental state, but in fact it is also true. When I tidy up my wardrobe, I have tears in my eyes. I thought "this is my mother's favorite one-piece dress", but on the other hand, I was secretly happy that I would not worry about running out of clothes in a short time. The trickiest thing is the book.In my mother's room, there are two bookshelves purchased from the mail. They look cheap, but they have a super storage capacity. Both bookshelves are full of books, many of which are medical-related books. This is not difficult to understand. My mother works as a nurse, but besides that, there are many literature books. I can’t help but feel ashamed when I read these books. My mother is more exposed to literature than I am. How can I, a student of the Chinese Department of Chinese Literature, show my face? It's a pity to throw away books, but books that I don't read just take up space at home, which is quite troublesome. If the books are in good condition, they can be sold to second-hand bookstalls or given to libraries. Every book is like a symbol of mother's hard work Eager to learn, all read in tatters. Just as I was standing in front of the bookshelf, the doorbell rang, and when I opened the door, it was my bandmate A Feng, who was carrying a plastic bag from a convenience store. "Let's see if you're doing well." A Feng said while flicking his bangs frequently. "Well, live well." I waved him in, and he said "Excuse me" politely as he took off his sneakers.This guy is kind of cute in this place. "Are you cleaning?" He glanced at the house, which was like a typhoon passing through. "Yes, this kind of thing will take longer if you don't do it sooner. Would you like some tea?" "Well... I bought chocolate puffs." A Feng handed over the plastic bag from the convenience store. "Wow, thanks, it seems that coffee is more suitable." The coffee in my house has always been instant coffee for lazy people. My mother always said that in such a hurry in the morning, there is no time to make that kind of troublesome orthodox coffee.I suddenly had an idea, after this can of instant coffee is finished, I'm going to buy real coffee powder ground from coffee beans. "Mrs. Kuan is very worried about what the orchestra will do next." A Feng took a sip of instant coffee, "You should be very busy in a short time, right?" "Yeah, I can't play in a band for the time being." To be honest, I don't feel that way now. "However, don't say you want to quit." A Feng looked at me seriously, "No matter how long it takes, we will wait for you." "I won't quit, let's practice together after I settle down." "Well, I'm relieved to hear you say that." A Feng smiled, showing his white teeth.He took a bite of the chocolate puff, took another sip of the coffee, and then looked at me hesitantly, "You will have to live alone, it must be very hard." His tone was extremely serious. "It's impossible, I'm already mentally prepared." "Well, Futaba is very strong, I believe you will be fine." A Feng smiled slightly, but I always felt that his expression was a little stiff, and I was wondering, he said: "I tell you... You must discuss with me about anything, I really want to do my best for you, it doesn’t matter if you rely on me as much as possible. For you, I am willing to do anything, really.” I was stunned by the sudden words, I looked at Ah Feng who was blushing, and immediately understood in my heart that this was a confession of love.So that's why he came to my house today. "Futaba, I have been to you from before..." He was about to say a crucial sentence. "Pause!" I suddenly stretched out my right hand and gestured to block his words, "Ah Feng, don't do this, it's not fair." A Feng looked astonished, "Why isn't it fair?" "Look at me, to be honest, I am in a state of scars and scars. I am not only tired, but also full of anxiety about the future. I can hardly stand up. But you come to sell me chairs at this time. Of course, in terms of business behavior Clever, but it's not fair to me, I just want to sit down now, I don't have the energy to check whether this chair is good or not." "But... the quality of this chair... I can guarantee..." Afeng stammered. I shook my head and said, "Since you are so confident, you should sell me the chair again when I recover." He lowered his head like a kindergarten kid who was scolded by the teacher. After a while, he raised his head and smiled shyly, "I understand, I will wait until then. Sorry." "You don't have to apologize." Then I said thank you to him, and that's how I feel now. He asked if there was anything I could do to help, so I took him to Mom's bookshelf, and he was taken aback by how many books there were. "Among the adults I know, there is no one who works as hard as my aunt." I agree. A Feng said that our school library should be willing to accept professional books, so the two of us started to pack these books, and then we just need to contact Mrs. Kuan and borrow his car to carry them. With his back to me, A Feng stuffed the book into the box silently. His back seemed to be a little smaller than usual. It seemed that what I just said still hurt him.Afeng is a very nice person, but I might not be happy when I compare the confession of love to selling chairs. If I knew it, I would have thought of a better analogy. In fact, I had been vaguely aware of his intentions before, so I was not surprised to hear his confession, but I just didn't feel moved by him, so I could only say sorry to him.And even if it’s Kanta or Tomohiro who confessed, it’s the same. For some reason, these orchestra partners are like younger brothers to me, and I always feel that I live in a different era from them. But having said that, it seems that we should pay more attention in the future, after all, we are men and women of the age of love. I stopped what I was doing and was stunned, "Huh?" Ah Feng suddenly murmured, "What is this?" "Did you find anything weird?" "Well, look at this." He turned and handed me a scrapbook with a black cover, something I'd never seen before. I opened it and saw that it was full of news clippings from newspapers and weekly magazines. I thought it was a medical report related to my mother's work, but I didn't expect the content to be completely unexpected. "What is this?" I couldn't help repeating A Feng's words, "Why do you collect such clippings?" "It's weird, isn't it?" A Feng also looked puzzled. The scrapbook was full of reports about Shunsaku Ihara.Junsaku Ihara is the leader of the Conservative Party. He was the prime minister a few years ago. Although he has withdrawn from the political arena now, the people of the whole country know that the real power of the entire political circle is still in his hands. "Futaba, your mother is interested in politics?" "It's not completely uninteresting, but it shouldn't be as fanatical as collecting newspaper clippings. And you see, these news are all weird, and they are all about Ibara Junsaku's private life." "Well, yes." The first few pages of the scrapbook mainly posted the news of the birth of Ihara Shunsaku's son. The content simply said that Ihara Junsaku finally got his son when he was fifty-three years old, and it was a boy.报纸刊载此事的篇幅很小，但杂志却以相当大的篇幅做了详尽报导，还包括一张伊原骏策抱着婴儿的照片，当时的他尚未登上领袖位置，老鹰般锐利的眼神及面容也洋溢着年轻的气息。看看日期，是距今十七年前的事了。 此外还有关于孩子母亲的新闻。她是伊原骏策的第三任妻子，当时三十岁，报导中提到她为了让自己受孕费尽苦心的过程。 继续翻下去，报导主题转到逐渐长大的孩子身上。孩子取名仁志，一则月刊的专栏文章为了报导伊原骏策的人格特质，特别描述了伊原骏策与儿子的相处互动。 “长得好像啊，一看就知道是父子。”阿丰喃喃说道：“像到这种程度反而蛮好笑的。” 正如阿丰所言，照片中的父子实在太像了，看来这个孩子绝对不是第三任妻子偷腥生下来的。 话说回来，为什么妈妈要搜集这些新闻？站在护士的立场，这些新闻或许多少有些参考价值，但再怎么说也不至于剪下来收藏，剪报中甚至包括描述伊原骏策参加儿子入学典礼时的神情之类的周刊八卦。 剪贴本后半段的新闻更是让我瞠目结舌，因为内容有了一百八十度的转变，完全不见先前的温馨气氛。 开头的新闻报导了伊原骏策的儿子住院，这个时候大家都还不知道病名，接下来的内容愈来愈灰暗，报导中出现了“先天性免疫不全”的字眼。 “我想起来了。”阿丰轻敲掌心，“伊原骏策的儿子后来死掉了，我想想……，大概是七、八年前的事吧。” “我倒是没印象。” 我继续翻阅剪贴本，出现了一张伊原仁志躺在无菌室病床上的照片，根据报导，仁志上小学之后身体开始出现免疫机能障碍，发病原因不明，目前找不到治疗方法，医生也不乐观，父亲伊原骏策则是信誓旦旦地说，他一定会网罗全世界最先进的医疗治好儿子的病。 “免疫不全……是不是类似艾滋病的症状？”我问阿丰。 “大概差不多吧。” 妈妈的剪贴本最后一篇报导就是伊原仁志的死讯，阿丰的记忆没错，那是距今七年又五个月前的新闻，上头还有一张丧礼现场的照片，场面壮观而盛大，完全不像九岁小孩的丧礼。和儿子刚出生时相比，丧子的伊原骏策看上去简直老了三十岁。 “伊原家是政治世家。”阿丰说：“主要势力范围在仙台，没记错的话，伊原骏策是第三代当家，当地人甚至相信只要伊原家香火不断，他们的生活就能长治久安，所以当伊原仁志死掉的时候，以仙台为中心的整个东北地方掀起不小的骚动呢。” “喔。”我不知道该做出什么反应，只能半敷衍地应了一声，“你觉得我妈妈为什么要搜集这些剪报？” “这我就不清楚了。”阿丰歪着头说：“会不会是特别关心这种病？或许她上班的医院里也有小孩得了相同的病呢？” “这说不通吧？我妈妈搜集剪报是从伊原骏策的小孩得病之前就开始了耶。” “说的也是。”阿丰交抱双臂沉吟了一会儿，但马上放弃思考，“不行，搞不懂，完全想不出个所以然。” “我也没听说妈妈待过仙台啊……”我一直凝视着剪贴本的黑色封面，终于受不了把它丢到一旁，“搞不懂的事再怎么想也没用，下次找机会问问看我舅舅吧。” “搞不好伯母只是崇拜伊原骏策。” “怎么可能，我妈只喜欢帅哥。” 都怪阿丰找到这本怪东西，害得装箱作业停顿许久，之后我又没什么心情继续整理了。由于不想把阿丰留到太晚，我决定今天先收拾到这里。 “我还能来找你吗？”阿丰在玄关穿上鞋子之后转头望着我说道。他的眼神和刚才告白时一模一样，我不禁犹豫了一下。 “嗯，好啊，下次把宽太和友广也一起叫来吧。” 他应该听得出我这句话的牵制意味，他说“知道了”的时候显得有些落寞。 由于没时间出门买菜，我开了个芦笋罐头做成沙拉，再拿出冰箱里硬得像石头的白饭放进微波炉加热，最后淋上真空调理包的咖喱便完成了今天的晚餐。妈妈和我都不讨厌真空调理食品与速食，因此每次轮到自己煮饭的时候，我们都喜欢用这些东西来混水摸鱼，有时两人甚至斗了起来，连续一个星期都互相让对方吃这一类玩意儿。妈妈自己身为护士，对于营养均衡却毫不在乎。 我吃着调理包咖喱，想起妈妈去世的那天晚上我也是这么吃着咖喱，就在这时，仿佛当晚的情境重现，电话突然响了起来，我吓得差点没把嘴里的芦笋喷出来。 “喂，请问是小林家吗？”电话那头传来稳重的男人声音，和石神井警察署的警察急躁的语气不同。我回答“是的”，对方也一时没接话，两人维持了几秒奇妙的沉默。 “请问你是小林小姐的千金吗？”对方郑重其事地问道。 “对，请问你是哪位？” “啊，你好，敝姓藤村。” 这姓氏相当耳熟，我登时想了起来。 “啊！您是北斗医科大学的……” “没错、没错。”藤村一下子提高了音调，但旋即恢复沉稳的语气，“令堂的事，警方已经告诉我了，请节哀顺变，我要是早点得到消息一定会去参加丧礼的。” 警方是听了我的建议才去找他，想确定他的不在场证明，但光听他这番话我无法判断他知不知道这一点。 “我们只办了简单的丧礼，没有通知太多人。”我尽量保持平常的语气。 “我想警方应该和你提过，事发前一天我曾到府上拜访，那时我是趁工作空当顺道过去看看，小林志保小姐曾在我们大学任职，当年我和她有些交情。” “是，我听说了。” “我和她已经二十年没见了，但她一点都没变，真的好令人怀念。我本来还打算以后有机会到东京要多多去府上拜访，没想到却发生这种事，我真是太震惊了，简直像是我给小林小姐带来了不幸似的。” “不，请别这么说。”我嘴里虽然这么说，心里却对这个人有戒心，毕竟这个人来访之后妈妈就变得不大对劲。 “如果有我帮得上忙的地方请尽管开口。” “不用这么客气，您的好意我心领了。” “这样啊。唉，老朋友相见本来是件值得高兴的事，没想到却是这样的结果，我真的不知道该说什么才好。”自怨自艾的情绪透过电话传了过来，这似乎是他独特的说话语气。 我很想问他妈妈的过去，他一定知道些什么，但我不知道该怎么开口。 藤村仿佛看穿了我的心思说道： “对了，令堂是否和你提过她当年在我们这里工作的事？” “没有，妈妈几乎绝口不提往事，我也不知道她为什么要离开大学回东京……” “原来如此。”藤村似乎陷入了沉思。 “呃，藤村先生？”我鼓起勇气说：“关于我妈妈的过去，能不能请你拨个时间详细告诉我？不然我心里老是有个疙瘩。” 藤村沉吟了半晌，喃喃自语道：“这么说也是。”接着他对我说：“你的心情我明白，不然这样吧，你方便过来一趟吗？” “去旭川吗？” “对。我也正想找机会和你见个面，不过我这阵子排不出时间去东京，如果你愿意过来一趟，我倒是能抽空告诉你当年的往事，而且我这边还留有你母亲当年担任研究助理的记录与报告，虽然这些东西对你来说可能没什么用，但多少能当成我话当年的辅助资料。当然，机票和饭店我都会帮你准备好。” “可是……这太麻烦您了，没关系，我自己另想办法吧。”总得先推辞一下。 “请不要客气，我很高兴能帮得上忙，而且老实说这些开销都能从研究经费里扣，我自己花不到半毛钱。” “这样吗……，好吧，那我就恭敬不如从命了。” 正是求之不得的好机会，反正我迟早得跑一趟旭川。 “那么，什么时间你比较方便呢？你还在念大学吧？” “是，不过快放暑假了，学校没什么课。”就算有课也没差，我本来就很少去学校，“我的时间很弹性。” “我这边的话，只有这星期和下星期比较有空，接下来就开始忙了……，可是要你在这两个星期之内过来旭川会不会太赶了？” “不，我没问题，我也希望愈快愈好。” “那就暂定这个星期日吧。” "OK." “安排好之后我会和你联络，如果你临时想改时间请打电话给我，我的电话号码是——”他把研究室的电话号码留给我，还说他晚上应该也会待在研究室，看来藤村是个相当认真的教授。 “不好意思，我忘了问一件最重要的事。”他说：“令堂没和我提过你的名字，方便向你请教吗？” “我叫双叶。双胞胎的双，叶子的叶。”妈妈每次介绍我的名字总是说“的双叶”，但我恨死了这个介绍方式。 “小林双叶吗？真是好名字。那么双叶小姐，我再打电话给你。”藤村说完便挂断了电话。 我放下无线电话机，大大吐了一口气，这下子多少能解开一些妈妈的秘密了，只不过事情进展得太顺利，我反而有些不安，这个藤村在妈妈过世那晚虽然有不在场证明，但毕竟不代表能完全信任这个人。 但我对于这趟旭川之行却没有丝毫犹豫，因为继续待在东京什么都不做并无法解决任何问题，若不趁起风时扬帆，船是不会前进的。