Chapter 7 Section VII

The new school sits beside a dirty canal.The cool season is fine, but when the weather turns hot and windows must be opened, the hot air in the classroom is full of oily and rancid smells, and classes cannot be held at all.However, I soon realized that even if I hadn't been in such a harsh environment, my junior high school life would not have been happy. The class guide is an old man who looks like a goat.He shouldn't actually be that old, but I couldn't sense any vitality in his attitude of giving up everything.This group of junior high school students is difficult enough, and now he has to join a different kind, he probably feels very depressed.I could even sense that he felt that it was a misfortune that fell from the sky that he was chosen to be my class teacher.My transfer student was depressed because of anxiety, but there was no thought in his head to make me relax, and he didn't care about me.

"I'm here to introduce a new classmate." Frankly speaking, when the head teacher took me to the class for the first time, he only said this sentence.The rest is very businesslike asking me to introduce myself to you guys. More than forty students looked at the transfer student who came suddenly, with all kinds of malice in their betting eyes.Such as seeing rare and exotic animals, bored eyes, critical eyes, hostile eyes and so on.In addition, there are still many people who look like they have nothing to do with themselves.While making a formal self-introduction, I thought to myself: "These are the eyes of snakes." I am surrounded by a group of snakes.

I don't have the impression that there are no bad-boned guys in that class.In a word, it was a class made up of ordinary students, extremely ordinary middle school students.No one shaves their eyebrows; no one plays cards in class while ignoring the teacher.I also never heard of anyone in the class being tutored. However, the so-called "average" means neither good nor bad.While not taking the initiative to act, such a person tends to unthinkingly participate in bad ideas presented by others. In the beginning, there was no direct "prank".Everyone is watching my every move.If someone talks to me at this time, and I can respond smoothly, maybe I can slowly integrate into this class.Unfortunately, the first action they took with me was "do nothing".In other words, turn a blind eye.

First, the first person acts indifferently, and the second person, who sees him doing so, is forced to choose how to treat the transfer student.Do you want to imitate the first person?Or take your own approach.Basically, choosing the latter requires a certain level of courage and one must be mentally prepared to go up against the first.In this way, the second person also decided that one more thing is worse than one less thing, and chose to ignore me.In this way, it goes without saying what the rest of the people will do.Starting from the third person, you can't just adopt a different attitude from everyone else, you have to follow suit.

Nearly a month after I transferred, I became a dispensable person in my class.Everyone always avoided making eye contact with me. No matter what they did, they would never think of a classmate named Kazuyuki Tajima. For example, some classes are conducted in groups, and I am the only one who is redundant at this time.When the teacher sees this, he will naturally ask me to join a certain group, but no one will talk to me in the group, and I will not be assigned any work even though the class is designed for a group to work together .The whole class I just watched everyone move. When I was playing softball in gym class, I had neither a defensive position nor my turn to hit.But I was still in the strike zone at one point, but the pitcher was throwing all the bad balls that the bat couldn't reach.However, the students who acted as referees judged that every ball was a strike.As a result, I failed to hit a pitch and was sentenced to strikeouts.In this regard, no one has an opinion, only people are snickering in private.

I often think back to that scene, but even if I want to break my head, I can't figure out why I was treated that way.I should be right.I always try to talk to my classmates as actively as possible, trying to fit in with the group.But when I came back to my senses, a thick wall had formed between me and them. According to the book, "bullying" (Bully) only began to surface after the 1980s.However, adults should all know that this is a problem that has existed for a long time, but no one specifically raised it for discussion. Educators and academics have long wondered why bullying occurs.From the standpoint of someone who has been bullied, bullying is bound to happen.It is a natural instinct to want to reject things that are not familiar to you.Just as there is pleasure in the misfortune of others, there is pleasure in seeing others in pain.In fact, by deciding on a victim, everyone can make each other feel peer-conscious by attacking that victim.Where there are groups, there is bullying, and it is hard to avoid.

Among them, transfer students are particularly vulnerable to being bullied.This avoids hurting people you already know and allows you to repeat the attractive activity of "bullying".If the transfer student is not bullied, in principle, he must meet a certain degree of conditions.For example, someone who looks good at fighting, is a kid from a rich family, has excellent grades, etc.Transfer students are sometimes spared when the leader of the class is willing to let them fit in, but he is lucky. I don't look like someone who is good at fighting, my family doesn't have money, and I'm already clumsy, and I stutter when I talk to people. It's not surprising that I would be regarded as an excellent victim by guys who are eager to bully others.

Turning a blind eye to this kind of bullying is actually not painful to the body at all, but it has caused substantial damage to my spirit.However, I don't even have a single person to talk to.My father was preoccupied with how to run the apartment properly, while the class teacher with a goat face made it clear that he didn't want anything to do with me. In a so-called off-campus teaching activity for the whole class, we were going to visit a certain newspaper office. While taking a tour bus, something happened that turned the bullying behavior that was originally ignored into violence.

The tour bus is full of double seats, and the students sit in twos. The question is, who will sit next to Tajima Kazuyuki?There are neither too many nor too few seats, and there is no way for me to sit alone. In the end, a lottery was used to determine the seats, and a male student named Kato wanted to sit next to me.The others were relieved that the seat wasn't drawn, but Kato was furious. "Why am I sitting next to that guy? What the hell." I acted like nothing happened, and sat on the sidelines listening to what he said.Although everyone sympathized with him, they still snickered.

I sat in the window seat; Kato stuck one foot out into the aisle and chatted with the people in the other seats.Most of the content is really unlucky today. After a while, Kato began to behave strangely.He twitched his nose slightly and said, "There is a strange smell." Soon, he turned his face to me, frowned directly, and pinched his nose: "What's the matter, it turns out that the smell is coming from around me." Hearing what he said, several people immediately laughed.Like him, they acted like they were sniffing, and some even said, "Really, it stinks."

I did wear a uniform that hadn't been properly laundered for days at a time, but it wasn't so smelly that I pinched my nose.I got angry and stared at Kato fiercely.Even if everyone ignored my existence, I endured it all the way, but at this time, it is really tolerable or unbearable. Kato glared back at me. "Why, do you have an opinion?" I looked away, because I didn't intend to quarrel, and Kato didn't say anything more.There was an awkward atmosphere in the car. Nothing happened during this off-campus teaching, but after school the next day, four male classmates including Kato surrounded me as I was about to go home, and took me into the sports equipment room. "You were a bad fart yesterday." Kato yelled. Just when I was about to retort, someone held me from behind, and before I could resist, Kato's pointy shoe toe kicked me in the stomach.I couldn't make a sound, fell forward, and was kicked by him two or three times. The people behind let me go, but I was so painful that I couldn't stand up, I squatted on the ground with my belly in my hands, and then kicked again and again.Besides my face, they kept kicking my stomach, waist, and buttocks.Probably because I was afraid that if I hurt my face, it would cause trouble to my upper body. I don't know if they had played enough or were tired, and finally stopped the intensive offensive.Someone didn't know what to say, and another person spoke up.I don't remember the details of the conversation. Perhaps it should be said that I was unconscious at the time, and I didn't have the energy to listen carefully to their conversation. They lifted me limp and put me in a square box.Just when I was in a daze and didn't know what they were going to do, they closed the lid and locked me in a dark and narrow space. I said earlier that I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I remembered Kato's last words.He said: "If you dare to report to your parents and teachers, I will kill you." After saying these words, their voices gradually faded away. I endured the pain all over my body, trying to figure out where I was being locked up.It didn't take long for me to realize that I was in a jumping box in the sports equipment room.So just push the top layer off and I should be able to get out.However, the lid is unusually heavy and cannot be easily lifted.I don't know how long I fought against the lid, but when I finally escaped, I was exhausted and fell to the ground and couldn't get up for a long time.Later I discovered that the jumping box was covered with gymnastic mats. I dragged my body in pain and went home.The passers-by who passed by looked at me, who was covered in dust from the sports equipment room, and looked disgusted. At that time, my father and I still lived in a rented house.Tutiancuo is just a name, except for the narrow kitchen, there are only two dirty Japanese rooms. When I got home, I saw my father was sleeping and snoring with the TV on.There were many empty bottles of Japanese sake on the dining table, and a notebook beside it.Several times I watched my father clearly write down the details of running the apartment. However, despite having land, the most important apartment has not yet started construction.I don't know the details, but in retrospect, it should be because of insufficient funds.Although the land can be mortgaged to the bank to borrow money, and my father should also plan to do so, but in this way, the rental income must be sufficient to cover the estimated repayment amount.Even if all the rooms are rented out, how much should the rent be charged at least?Considering the location and other conditions, I am afraid that it is necessary to build quite high-end buildings to be cost-effective.Relatively, this will require more funds, increase the loan amount, and the repayment amount will also increase accordingly.It turned out that my father was going around in circles in this maze with no exit every night.He got drunk with alcohol, obviously trying to escape reality. On the table were plates of cold dishes from a nearby deli.Usually, I always have that as dinner, but I really didn't have an appetite that day.I went to the next room to change clothes. I took off my clothes and saw that my whole body was bruised, swollen and hot, but there was no bleeding. I think, there is no way to go to the bathhouse to take a bath today. After that, the bullying continued.In addition to ignoring my existence, the whole class was often met with sudden violence.The people who bullied me were mainly Kato's gang, sometimes others joined in, and even for me, those who were happy to see me being bullied were considered accomplices.Even bystanders who pretend not to see are the same. But why do you go to school obediently every day knowing that you will be bullied?I can't find a clear reason for this.Like the person who bullies me has no reason.I deeply thought that as long as I was not sick, I had to go to school.All I can say is that this is the only reason I go to school.If the phrase "refusal to go to school" had been widely circulated earlier, maybe I would have chosen this method. Now there is only one thing that sustains me and allows me to endure the pain.While being bullied, I thought so. Do as you like!One day, I will kill you... Around this time, I began to think specifically about how to kill people.I imagine killing people every day; it's not just a fantasy, I have the means to kill them in my hands.I hide it in a desk drawer at home. Sheng Gong's bottle. According to the book, the official chemical name of Shenggong is mercury dichloride, a colorless crystal, which is used in medicine as a disinfectant, antiseptic and other drugs. It is highly toxic, and 0.2 to 0.4 grams is enough to kill. I hadn't decided how to use it when I stole it from my father's clinic.I was interested in poison, and when I saw the label on the bottle, I knew it was a treasure, so I secretly put it in my pocket. I've longed to use this poison since before.I often think that one day I'm going to make someone eat it.If one day there is a person I want to kill, I will definitely use this to kill him. So every night, my head is fantasizing about what would happen if I let my classmates eat Shenggong.However, I don't want to attack Kato's group of bullies right away.Because once they die, I am afraid that the police will come forward to investigate, and maybe after an autopsy, they will find that someone has used Shenggong on them.In this way, I will definitely be suspected.Everyone knows that I have a motive for killing people. As long as the police investigate, they will know that I can get the tribute. I would have no qualms about killing Kato's group.However, I will not carry out this plan unless they drive me to the point where I will die together.At the time, I wasn't that desperate. Having said that, I didn't give up the idea of ​​killing people.Instead, I want to prove that I can really kill people.Besides, I also want to confirm the effect of Sheng Gong. At this time, the figure that emerged in my mind was Shu Mochi. I think I have reason to hate warehouse holding. Not only did he lie to me, but he also took me to that cheating man in backgammon.Because of him, I spent all my pocket money and ended up stealing my wallet from my grandmother's dead body. Leaving aside this incident, there is also the previous curse letter. It must be Kuramochi who wrote my name on the curse list.Write Kazuko Tajima as Kazuko Tajima as Kazuko Tajima, who else would make such a mistake except him?Because of him, I received postcards with the word "Kill" from twenty-three people. I really thought at one point that the curse had come true.Ever since I received a postcard with the word "Kill" written on it, I have encountered misfortune again and again.I don't know what the effect of the curse is, but it is true that Cangjixiu wants me to suffer misfortune.Thinking of this, hatred immediately surged into my heart.I regret it all the more because I once believed that he was one of my few friends. I thought to myself, isn't this enough to constitute a motive for murder? There are thousands of murderers in the world.Impulsive killings for the sake of a mere few thousand yuan are also heard from time to time.However, I am not interested in such a motive for killing.The image of a murderer I am looking forward to is one that has a definite motive for killing, has the idea of ​​killing in his heart for a long time, and puts it into practice calmly.Just like the crime case of the Duchess of Brambillier that I read in the book. The act of killing is very tempting to me, but it cannot be done without a motive.My thinking is that if there is no motive to kill, it cannot be considered a real murder. Is someone cursing me and expecting misfortune from me a sufficient motive to kill someone?I always feel that this can be a reason to hate them, but not enough to make me want to kill them.I was annoyed by the inability to inflate my hatred of others, and I felt like a very weak person. Ironically, however, it was Kato and the others who eliminated the weakness in my heart.At that time, the physical education class was changed to self-study because of the rain.When I was reading mystery novels in my seat, they came over. "Hey, this guy is reading this kind of book." One of them snatched my book. "Can I read some novels during my self-study?" Kato immediately continued. You yourself are not wandering around, so why talk about me.Of course I can't say that.I put my hands on the table and tilted my head to look at the ground. "What kind of book is this? Foreign novels, shit." "Hey, bring it here and let me have a look." Kato took the book from his accomplice and began to read aloud.Whenever he encounters difficult Chinese characters, he will get stuck, and he can't read them at all.After reading two or three lines, he said: "Hmph, what is this. What to write makes people look at it inexplicably." "Detective novels? Will there be Lupine and Sherlock Holmes?" "There won't be such a thing. But it should be about how the criminal committed the crime or something. Is this book looking for the criminal?" "Probably so. The detective will find the culprit in the end." "It's amazing." Kato replied in an annoying tone.He opened the back of the book. "Hey, Tajima, guess who the prisoner is! If you guess right, I'll return the book to you." I am silent.Guess what, I've only just started reading that book, and I don't even know the characters. "What, I can't answer it. Let's do it as homework." As soon as Kato finished speaking, he took out a pen from my breast pocket.That pen was given to me by Kihara Masaki, and I panicked. Kato began to scribble on the last page with a pen.His demeanor was so rude that he almost broke the nib of the pen. "Come on!" I yelled. The person who has always been submissive actually protested, and Kato had an expression of hurt pride on his face. "What are you doing, do you have any objections?" He threw the library book to the ground.For me, it doesn't matter how the book is, the important thing is the pen. "Come again!" I tried to snatch the pen from his hand. But Kato was not so easy to let go.Ink from the pen sprayed out during our snatch, staining Kato's uniform sleeves. "Ah, you bastard!" His face was completely distorted.He grabbed my uniform collar. "What the hell are you doing! You bastard!" I was about to speak back when I was pushed to the ground.I wanted to get up, but was pinned down by Kato's accomplices and couldn't move. "Take off his pants and underwear!" Following Kato's instructions, two or three people reached out to my lower body.I kicked my feet to resist, but it was useless.They undid my belt and took off my trousers and panties, revealing a tiny, huddled bird.The female students turned their faces away; most of the male students were smiling. Kato squatted at my feet and began to disassemble the pen that Kihara gave me.He opened the part of the ink cartridge, holding the ends firmly with both hands.I also want to know what he is going to do. When he exerted force with both hands, the pen broke with a "snap", and the black ink dripped onto my lower body drop by drop, making the huddled bird black.The students who saw it burst into laughter. "Go get the eraser!" Kato ordered.Someone quickly fetched it and handed it to him. Kato slapped my lower body several times with an eraser.The little bird that was originally black and smeared now turned into a piece of snow white.Everyone who saw it burst into laughter, and some even burst into tears. At this moment, someone shouted: "The teacher is here!" Kato and the others quickly pulled up my trousers and underwear, fastened my belt neatly, threw me on the ground, and returned to their seats. When the bald physical education teacher walked into the classroom, I couldn't stand up and sat on the ground. "What are you doing?" the physical education teacher looked at me and said.Judging from the situation during the physical education class, the teacher should have also noticed that I was being bullied by my classmates, but like many teachers, he did nothing for me. I shook my head silently and slowly returned to my seat.I felt everyone around me laughing.If I complained to the teacher, Kato and the others would definitely beat me up afterwards. I secretly decided in my heart - I want to kill you, one day I will kill you guys! I just want power.I want to be sure that I am a person who can kill with a heart.I read the crime plot of the Duchess of Branbilier again and had a revelation.She even killed her elder brother who was aware of her patricide.In fact, he had performed killing experiments on human bodies.In other words, a rehearsal of murder. At this time, I began to think about Cang Chixiu again. At that time, I didn't have the motivation to kill the warehouse and practice.However, I wanted to do a rehearsal beforehand to prepare for the bigger ambitions.The so-called greater ambition naturally refers to killing the whole class.I think, as long as I affirm my ability through the rehearsal of killing, I can regain what I lost because of being bullied by my classmates. From that day on, I began to think about the method of killing Kurang Jixiu.This is the first time in my life that I have drawn up a murder plan, and it is not just pure fantasy. I decided to use Sheng Gong as the murder weapon.But how to make Kuramochi eat it?My first thought was to mix it in food and give it to him.However, after thinking about it a bit, I found that this approach is not feasible.If the source of the food is unknown, the people under him should be more vigilant.I can also give food to him in the name of Cangji's friend, but I will not get paid for it. Most people may call to confirm before eating.Of course, if it was sent in my name, it would be a different matter. However, even if Kuramo is not suspicious, I'm not sure if it's possible to kill him alone.If one is not careful, it may kill others by mistake.This is against my intent.After all, I just want to get rid of my prey. After thinking about it, I came to a conclusion. It seems that I still have to hand over the food mixed with poison to him.In this way, Kuramochi can try to eat it alone. However, I must not let anyone know that I met Kuramochi.As long as this is done, the possibility of the police suspecting me is not high.Since graduating from elementary school, I haven't been close to Kuramochi, and I haven't even contacted him once after transferring to another school.The police probably did not expect that the students transferred to other high schools would deliberately draw up revenge plans and return to their original schools to commit murder. I thought, what kind of food is suitable for mixing Shenggong?According to the book, Shenggong is only slightly soluble in water, but soluble in alcohol and acetone.In other words, soft drinks such as fruit juice cannot be used. My thoughts went back to the elementary school days spent with Kuramochi.We often go to the video game center to play pinball together. I remembered how he used to bite into taiyaki and hit marbles at the same time. -------------------------------- Note: