Chapter 6 Section VI

Maybe it was due to the exhaustion of the plane journey, and he was a little tired. After he finished speaking, he hugged me and fell asleep like holding a very precious doll. Chilling, disgusting... words can't express how I felt at the time.For so long it felt like I was living under the watchful eyes of others, and now it seems that this is not an illusion.Although he already knew that it was not done by criminals, he didn't feel relieved at all. Instead, he fell into panic, fearing that he would be caught by something even stranger.I didn't close my eyes all night, just thinking about going back to Japan tomorrow.

At dawn, I tiptoed out of bed.Xiaobo should have noticed, but he didn't stop me.I took a shower, changed into my usual clothes, and prepared a simple breakfast with the bread and eggs I bought the day before.At this time, Xiaobo got up, and did not show any abnormality. "Today I must go to work quickly. If you are bored or have anything to do, call me on the phone at any time." His tone was as bright as usual, and he kissed me before leaving the house. What happened last night may have been a dream.No, even if it was true, it must have been done after drinking too much beer. Maybe he really stole the doll because he liked it, and finally made up such a lie to excuse himself.

While convincing myself like this, I went into the bedroom to clean.The doll was waiting there quietly, with a gentle face and a red dress.There is a bed and a table in the room, and a wardrobe with the same carvings as the table.I slowly approached the closet, opened the two doors with both hands, and saw skirts of different colors and styles neatly arranged inside, and separated the ones I wore from those used by dolls. Looking at these, I shuddered again and shed tears unknowingly.However, a smile gradually filled his face.Suddenly being put on that kind of clothes in the dark, and being forced to listen to things that normal thinking can't understand, that's why I fell into terror.But seeing a wardrobe of dresses in a sunny room like a circus clown is voluptuous, yet comical.

I don't know where he is, what kind of expression he is wearing to arrange these.Didn't you just draw a good picture with colored pens?Something like the doll notes I threw away long ago. Xiao Bo must have lost something important in his childhood, and this lack was made up for by the doll in my living room that might be thrown away in a few years. If this is the case, isn't it incredible?It's just that from now on I'll be in the role for a few hours of the day, isn't it?It was he who brought me from that country town to this faraway place.In order to survive, the two people who are psychologically deficient need a comical ritual that can cover up this deficiency.

This is actually self-deception. In the evening, when Xiaobo came home from get off work, he seemed very dissatisfied when he saw that I was still wearing my usual clothes as in the morning.Before he could speak, I ran out my thoughts in one breath. "Even at night, this is the space we live in as human beings. Eat, go to the bathroom, take a shower, and then welcome the real night in that room, isn't it good?" As a doll, I still dare to speak in such a tone, is it a little ignorant?I was worried, but he smiled and asked, "What's for dinner?" Even so, on the second day, the painful doll play repeated on the third day, just listening to him in silence, but it was unbearable that he would reach into my skirt and touch my whole body, Or lick the bare parts of my body.But as the days went by, I gradually got used to it and began to want him to touch me longer, and even eagerly looked forward to the time to be treated as a doll, and did not want the dawn to come.

However, last night was different. When I woke up in the morning, I had a fever and a pain in my lower abdomen, and I couldn't even stand up at noon.I lay on the sofa in the living room, covered with a blanket, and closed my eyes.The sound of the clock disturbed me and I couldn't sleep.I tucked the clock under the couch and finally fell asleep with no relief from the pain. It was getting dark, Xiaobo came back from get off work.I went out to greet him, seeing my pale face, Xiaobo was very worried.When I apologized for not being able to prepare dinner, he said don't take it too seriously.

Maybe I shouldn't relax my nerves just because of his thoughtful words, I took advantage of the situation and said: "Today I want to sleep on the sofa alone." Xiaobo said coldly: "No." I still don't understand why I was so so Angry, but when I heard this sentence, my anger surged. "Don't ask me to play perverted games with you even on days like this!" I almost shouted.Suddenly, there was a burning pain on my face. "What did you just say?" After slapping me, Xiaobo approached with a fierce look on his face.I didn't cringe because I was so distraught that I couldn't take it anymore.

"I said pervert. Didn't you realize you were perverted?" At the same time Xiaobo roared, my face was stabbed again, and I fell to the ground.He rode on my aching lower abdomen, with both hands around my neck. "Take back what you said! Take it back now and I can forgive you. Take back what you said, kneel down and apologize to me!" Just then, I felt something sticky and hot running down between my legs.I got up to look, and I could also imagine what it was, what color it was.In an instant, everything that happened that year flashed through my mind like fast-forward images.

Friends playing ball, the man in overalls, the girl who was judged one by one, Emiri who was taken away, and what I saw in the locker room... I will be killed! I can't remember what happened after that. I am sitting at the dining table writing this letter, and across the dining table, in front of the sofa, is Xiaobo lying there.The blood on his head had solidified and was turning black and hard. The clock rolled down beside his head and was covered with blood. Even if you didn't look closely, you could tell at a glance that he was not breathing. I must have killed him. An image that crosses my mind reminds me of a key.

At that time, several of us called the criminal "uncle" in unison, but that person should not be as old as I remembered, maybe only in his thirties, and he was not responsible for the theft of the doll.Although the statute of limitations is approaching, I sincerely hope that this will be a strong lead that leads to the case being closed. I don't know if this counts as fulfilling our agreement. Next, I plan to send this letter and return to Japan.I didn't know where and what punishment I would receive if I killed my husband abroad, so I decided to go back to my country and surrender myself directly to the nearby police station.

Maybe I need to serve a sentence, but when I think that I can spend my life with ease in the future, I don't feel bitter at all.My mood is even very peaceful now, and I feel like I'm finally back to who I was before you came to town, breathing fresh air for granted. I will leave the pen here, and finally I wish you good health.goodbye. Saei Kyosuke