"Text/Unpoetic Knife Boss" Recently, I met a very scary old man. I remember it was the night when I had just returned from a meeting in Taipei and wanted to take the train back to Changhua.After buying the ticket, I still had more than an hour to drive, so I slipped into the underground street of the train station with my backpack on my back. The underground street is actually a very boring low-bottomed maze, shaking and shaking, I was suddenly stopped by a loud voice. "Promising young!" Promising young people, that must be calling me. Looking back, I saw an old man with a weird smile on his face and an even weirder red suit. He was leaning against a gray pillar, standing behind the aluminum cans of handouts, with a black tall hat on his left hand.

Being stopped by an old man like this, a normal person would not stop at all. I'm normal, and I wanted to leave, but I was very concerned about the tall hat on the old man's head.Do it, because the tall hat was moving, thumping, as if something was trying to hit the hat from inside, but it always failed, because the old man's left hand was desperately pressing down on his hat. "Promising young man, your complexion is not very good. Is everything going wrong recently?" The old man said mysteriously. Such an old-fashioned opening line, let's change some interesting lines and cheat money!

"Have you noticed this? I haven't won the jackpot for 50 lottery sessions in a row. I'm really unlucky!" My eyes were fixed on the hat on the old man's head. If it weren't for his left hand pressing and pressing, "that thing" would have popped out of the hat long ago! But... what is that thing?Damn, I really want to know! "Hey, if you want to know the reason why everything goes wrong, just feed it a hundred yuan." The old man pointed to the aluminum can on the ground. "I don't want to." I smiled, shit, the hat is still moving!

The old man was not disappointed, but smiled more mysteriously, his eyes rolled around me. "I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, this old man cheats money from time to time? Are promising young people unwilling to trust others? Can't even cheat a hundred dollars? Character determines fate, Promising young man, your character is suspicious." The old man looked at me with a "speak out" attitude. But, what a ghost!I suppressed the urge to lift the hat on the old man's head and said, "Then what should I do? Do I really want to give you a hundred yuan?"

"Promising young man, look, there is a little girl over there selling love ballpoint pens, what do you say?" The old man pointed to the far corner. A chubby girl is pestering high school students to sell love pens in a box, each for 100 yuan, with the goal of donating to sick children in Africa who have no food, no vaccines, big heads and flat stomachs. "It's better to donate the money to the dead group to help the otaku get out of the group." I shrugged and couldn't help recalling that I had spent money to buy such a bad love pen that absolutely cut off the water a few times. .

"Look at you, aren't you suspicious? If there are 100 million people in this world who don't buy love pens, then there will be a shortage of 10 billion yuan in donations. What a terrible thing this is." The old man sighed, but his face was very smug . "If that phony donation gets to Africa, my little penis will lay eggs every day," I said, shaking all over. My God, the thing in the hat keeps bumping and jumping, I seem to rush to lift it up! "Then, how about that fat beggar over there who has no hands or feet and keeps kowtowing?" The old man pointed in the air, and a weak Qi sword shot at the fat beggar in the direction of seven o'clock.

Kowtowing violently is the fat beggar's forte, boom boom boom boom, it made the broken bowl in front of his eyes ding ding ding ding ding. "Hey, that's a member of a fraud group. It was captured on TV. After he gets off work, a taxi will drive over to pick him up, and then he will be fitted with a golden prosthetic leg and go to the hotel to have a baby." I deliberately exaggerate. "Then I said, there is a rabbit in my hat, do you believe it?" the old man said seriously. Damn, what's so hard to believe!It turned out to be a rabbit! "Don't believe it? Haha! It's really a rabbit!" Haha the old man lifted his hat.

It was too late and then it was too late, a rabbit that was about to suffocate immediately jumped from the old man's head in my direction. Although I was mentally prepared, I was still shocked and yelled loudly . "..." I took a few steps back, looking at the fat "rabbit" on the ground. Bastard, this is not a rabbit, this is obviously a cat with long ears props! "According to your face, if you don't believe in the consequences of people, your luck will continue to be bad!" As if afraid of being exposed by me, the old man kicked the fat cat's ass, and the fat cat ran away immediately.

What is this!If you want to deceive people, you have to be clear about it! "Old man, don't lie to people with fortune-telling, okay? I just dragged the draft of a novel, which is about the fate of human beings that can be changed. You are a superb fortune hunter! Who is going to talk to you these days?" Bad physiognomy, huh?" I gave a thumbs up: "So, the life hunter is indeed, okay!" "Look at you, don't you trust people again? Distrust is the beginning of misfortune. This has been the same principle since ancient times." The old man shook his head violently and snickered: "After tonight, the only way you can get out of misfortune The way to get out is to believe three requests in a row that you come across."

The train time was approaching, so I fled the scene as if flying. The next morning, something super scary happened. When I woke up, I turned over lazily. Faintly hearing the sound of waves, I immediately felt a sticky strange feeling in my crotch. "Isn't it?" I pulled open my pants in a daze, as a gun master, it makes no sense to have a wet dream! As a result, I saw a broken egg bursting in grief and anger under my crotch, and the egg yolk and protein flowed all over my pants. "How is this possible!" I was so dazed, no matter how wet my dreams were, it was impossible to ejaculate an egg!

I reluctantly went to the bathroom to take a shower while studying the broken egg. 100% an egg, not a human egg (no such thing). Is my brother or brother playing a prank?Will people who are already this big still make jokes about this kind of super locomotive?Or did I sleepwalk to the refrigerator and get an egg and put it under my crotch to sleep?I was very puzzled, but after all I was a promising young man with ideals and ambitions. After washing off the sticky egg yolk on the penis with the bath milk bubbles, I immediately forgot about it and went to have a happy date with little Guo Xiang. The next morning, as you'd expect, the super-scary thing happened to my dick again. When I woke up, I found a strange sensation in my crotch again. With the lessons learned from the past, I dare not turn over casually this time.I got up cautiously, opened my pants, and there was an egg! egg! "It's terrible!" I grabbed the egg, and my whole body twitched with excitement. I remembered the words of the weird old man three days ago. When the time comes, the little penis that can lay eggs made me have to believe the old man's advice: from now on, I have to believe in three things in a row to get rid of my bad luck! In the midst of panic, Ben Wuxia and I thought about what kind of bad luck I was bound by. It was hard for me to bear the wonderful story of the world that the little penis would lay eggs. If there were other bad luck, such as my ass would be Sing or grow shiitake mushrooms in my underarms and I'm bound to crumble. As a novelist who writes everything and believes everything, I immediately adopted a scientific thinking to face this tragedy.I used Google to investigate the composition of an egg: eggshell, egg membrane, egg white, air chamber, vitelline membrane, egg yolk, and the small white egg on the egg yolk, and a band that has the function of positioning the egg yolk.If these ingredients are converted into nutrients, it is about 100 grams of egg white, 36 calories of calories, and protein: eight.2 grams; every 100 grams of egg yolk, 335 calories, protein: 16.Two grams; egg shells and so on Entering the nutrient dosage table of human flesh, estimating the nutrient energy based on my height and weight, and then using the number of times as a mother, and removing the nutrition of eggs, I found an amazing fact: as long as I lay an egg every day, after a year In eight months, I will turn into a human and die! Eight months a year! I do not want! "Be strong! Anyway, just believe in three requirements in a row, and I can definitely do it!" After washing my face, I looked in the mirror and patted my cheeks to cheer myself up. As soon as I finished taking pictures of my face, the phone rang. "Hey?" "Ohh Ohh ohh……" "...was Xiao Xia crying early in the morning?" "Daddy... woo woo woo woo... I was kidnapped and I was beaten so badly! They didn't give me anything to eat and kept beating me! Beat me! Kick me! And they said no to me The food will make me starve to death! Woooooooooo..." It's too unprofessional, don't mention where my son is from, where is this kind of line coming from a scam group with super poor acting skills!If you cheat a few dollars, you will ruin your reputation! ……No!no!In order to keep my dick from having any more eggs, I must suppress my rationality, and I must force myself to believe that I have a son I have never met (maybe it is the product of yin and yang that was lured by a female ghost one night and won the bid in the dream, and finally in The underworld called my irresponsible dad for help!). "Son, what should we do?" "The bad guys said they want to transfer one million to their account, woo woo woo woo woo!" The son loves to cry. "I only have sperm for one million yuan, one thousand yuan." I held my breath. "One hundred thousand!" My son was decisive. "Two thousand yuan." My hands shaking while grabbing the phone. "Ten thousand yuan is fine." My son turned out to be a general. "The limit of two thousand yuan is over, give me the account number." I sighed, touched my sad crotch, and picked up the pen. So I copied a set of bank account numbers and remitted two thousand yuan to my son who was beaten up badly. Hey, just one horrible thing happened, and it cost me two thousand yuan. I really don't want to know what kind of stupid things I will be forced to believe next... --to be continued