Chapter 14 Chapter Three: Mrs. Di Tishan's Words

I write here of my encounter with Anya Currel and his tragic death. I first met him at a party in a studio.I remember him standing by the window and seeing him as soon as I entered the door.I asked people who he was, and they said, "It's Currel the painter." I said right away that I wanted to know him. That time, we talked for about ten minutes or so.If you've ever had the impression I had of Anya Currell at the time, you know it's indescribable.Maybe it could be said that as soon as I saw him, other people became very small. Immediately after that meeting, I went everywhere I could to see his paintings.He was having an exhibition in Bound Street at the time, and he had another painting in Manchester, one in the Leeds, and two in the London Public Gallery.After I visited them one by one, I met him again.I said, "I've seen all your paintings, and I think they're really great."

He only showed great interest, and said: "Whoever said you can criticize paintings, I believe you don't even understand the superficial." I said, "Maybe I don't understand. But your paintings are still very good." He smiled at me and said, "Stop being an impulsive little fool." I said, "I'm not, I want you to paint my portrait." "If you've got any sense," Currell said, "I don't paint portraits of pretty women." I said, "You don't have to paint a portrait, and I'm not a pretty woman." He looked at me as if he was seeing me for the first time.He said, "Yeah, maybe you're not."

I said, "Then you want to draw me?" He tilted his head and looked at me for a while.Then say, "You're a weird kid, aren't you?" I said, "You know, I'm rich, and I can pay you handsomely," and he said, "Why are you so eager for me to do your portrait?" I said, "Because I want to." He said, "Is that a reason?" I said, "Yes, I always have what I want." He said, "Oh, poor boy, you are so young!" I said, "Would you like to paint my portrait?" He took me by the shoulders, turned me toward the light, looked at me carefully, then looked away, and I stood motionless and waited.

He said: "Sometimes I want to paint a beautifully colored macaw flying in a file above St Paul's Cathedral. If I painted you against a beautiful traditional outdoor scene, I think I would get the same effect. " I said, "Then you are willing to draw me?" He said: "You are the cutest, the most simple, the most gorgeous and the most peculiar color I have ever seen, I would like to paint you!" I said, "That's a deal." He added: "But I warn you, Aisha Gurley, that if I do your portrait I may court you." I said, "I hope so..."

I spoke very calmly and peacefully.I heard him take a breath.Also saw the look in his eyes. You know, that's how things suddenly turned out. A day or two later, we met again.He told me he wanted me to go to Devon - where he had found the background for my painting.He said, "You know, I am a married man and I love my wife very much." I said if he liked her she must be very nice. He said she was very, very nice. "Honestly, she's very cute - and I do love her. So I hope you keep that in mind, Elsa." I told him I knew very well. A week later he began to do my portrait, and Caroline Currier welcomed me with great pleasure.She doesn't like me very much - but then again, why should she like me?Anya was very cautious, and there was nothing he said to me that could not be heard by his wife. I was also very polite and polite to her, but we knew each other in private.

After about ten days, he told me that he wanted me to go back to London. I said, "Isn't it finished yet?" He said: "It's just started, but I really can't draw you, Elsa." I said, "Why?" He said: "You know why, Elsa, so you have to go. I can't think about painting - I can't think about anything but you." We were at Batley Park, and it was a hot, sunny day, with the birds and the buzzing bees, and it was supposed to feel happy and peaceful, but it wasn't.There's an air of...tragedy, like...as if it's already reflecting what's going to happen in the future.

I knew it wouldn't help even if I went back to London, but I said, "Well, if you want me to go back to London, I'll go back." He said, "Good girl." So I left without writing to him. He endured it for ten days, and finally came to me.He was so thin and gaunt and so pathetic that I was taken aback. He said, "I warned you, Elsa, don't say I didn't warn you" and I said, "I've been waiting for you, I knew you would come." He made a moaning sound and said, "There are some things that men really can't bear. Without you, I really don't think about tea, I don't want to eat, and I can't sleep well."

I said I knew, and, I knew from the moment I first met him it was going to be this way.This is God's will, and it's useless to struggle. He said, "You've struggled too long, haven't you, Elsa." I said I wasn't struggling at all. He said he wished I wasn't so young, and I said that was okay.I think I can say that we had a great time over the next few weeks.However, it is not appropriate to use the word "happiness" to describe it. In fact, it is a deeper kind.A more frightening feeling. We were meant to be, and now we've found each other - we both know we must be together forever.

But something else happened, and the unfinished painting kept lingering in Anya's mind. He said to me: "It's ridiculous. I couldn't draw you before—it was because of you. But I really Would love to paint you Elsa, I want to make your portrait the best I have ever done. I can't wait to paint you sitting under the pale chestnut tree with a wall next to it , and the traditional blue sea, the elegant English tree, and you—you sound like a triumphal scream in this harmony." He added: "I must draw you like this! When I am painting, no one can disturb me. After the painting is finished, I will tell Kai Ruolin the truth, and the matter will be completely settled."

I said, "Will Kai Ruolin refuse to divorce?" He said he didn't think so, but a woman's heart is really unpredictable. I said I was terribly sorry if he was upset, but that sort of thing happens after all. He said, "You're very nice and sensible, but Caroline is not. She has never been, and certainly never will be. You know, she loves me very much." I said I knew, but if she loved him, his happiness should come first, and if he wanted to be free, she shouldn't force him to keep him. He said: "Life is not as described in literature, don't forget, nature is very cruel."

I said: "Of course we are all civilized people now!" Anya said with a smile: "Civilization! Kai Ruolin will probably use an ax to settle accounts with you. Don't you understand, Elsa, she will be very painful ──Don’t you know what pain means?” I said, "Then don't tell her." He said: "No, sooner or later we have to break up. You must belong to me properly and openly." I said, "What if she refuses to divorce?" "I don't care about that," he said. I said, "Then what are you afraid of?" He said slowly, "I don't know..." You know, he knows Caroline and I don't. If only I had known... We are back at Oldbury.This time, life became a little more difficult.Caroline got suspicious, and I didn't like it—really didn't like it—not at all.I've always hated cheating and hiding things.I think we should tell her the truth, but Anya won't. The funny thing is, he doesn't really care.Although he likes Kai Ruolin very much and doesn't want to hurt her, he doesn't care whether he is honest or not. He paints fanatically and doesn't care about anything else.I hadn't seen him painting before, and now I realized that he was such a great genius, he was completely immersed in the painting naturally, and all the usual etiquette was put in his heart; but I am different, my The situation was dire and Caroline hated me - of course.The only way to keep me out of this embarrassing position was to tell her the truth. But Anya insisted on not being disturbed before the painting was finished, I said maybe it wouldn't be too embarrassing, Kai Ruolin was too proud and dignified, nothing would happen. I said, "I want to be honest, and we have to be honest." Anya said: "Honest ghost! I just want to paint now, don't talk about anything else." I understand his point of view, but he doesn't understand mine. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. Kai Ruolin talked about her and Anya's plans for next summer, her tone seemed to be very confident, and I suddenly felt that it was disgusting for us to do this—let her go on like this—maybe it was because I I was so angry that she expressed her displeasure to me so skillfully, but I couldn't grasp it. So I'm just telling the truth.In a way, I still think I'm right.But at the time, if I had known what the consequences would be, I wouldn't have done it. , The dispute happened immediately.Anya was very angry with me, but he had to admit that what I said was true. I don't know Caroline at all.We all went to Meredith Black's for afternoon tea, and Caroline hid it very well; talking and laughing, I was like a fool to think she had accepted the truth, and it was embarrassing that I didn't leave the Currel's, But if I leave, Anya will be furious. I think Kai Ruolin may leave. If that happens, things will be much easier. I didn't see her taking the methamphetamine, and I'm not going to lie, maybe it was true, as she said, that she was trying to kill herself with that thing. But I don't "really" think so, I think she is the kind of woman who is very jealous and possessive, absolutely unwilling to give up anything she thinks belongs to her, and Anya is her property.I think she was ready to kill him rather than let another woman have him, and I think she must have made up her mind to kill him as soon as she got the news, Meredith Black said on a whim Hematidine just provided her with a method at her fingertips to realize her long-standing determination. She is a very mean and vindictive woman. Anya knew that she was dangerous, but I didn't. The next morning, she had a final showdown with Anya.I heard most of it from the balcony outside, and he was fine - patient and calm, asking her to keep her sanity too.He said he liked her and the children very much and would always do so.He is willing to do everything possible to make them happy in the future.Then he said firmly: "But you have to understand that I must marry Elsa, and nothing can stop me. You and I have always agreed to let each other be free. You also know that this kind of thing is inevitable." Kai Ruolin said to him: "Do what you like, anyway, I have warned you." Her voice was calm, but with a strange tone. Anya said, "What do you mean? Kai Ruolin." She said, "You belong to me and I will not let you go. I will definitely kill you before you get to that girl..." Then Philip Blake came across the balcony and I got up and went to him because I didn't want him to hear what they were talking about. After a while, Anya also came out and said it was time to continue painting, so we walked towards Batley Garden together, he didn't say anything, only said that Kai Ruolin was very tough, but for God's sake, don't talk about these anymore , he must concentrate on painting.He said that with just another day or so of painting, the painting would be complete. He said: "That would be the best painting of all my work, Elsa." After a while, I went inside to get a coat because it was a bit chilly outside. Caroline was there when I got back to Batley Park.I guess she begged him for the last time, Philip and Meredith.Blake was there too. At that moment, Anya said that he was thirsty and wanted a drink, and that there was beer in the garden, but there was no ice. Kai Ruolin promised to bring him cold beer, her tone was so natural that it was almost friendly. That woman really knows how to act, she must have decided to do it at that time. About ten minutes later, she got the beer down, and Anya was drawing a picture. She poured the wine and put the glass beside him.Neither of us paid attention to her because Anya was absorbed in painting and I had to keep my posture straight. When Anya drank beer, he always drank it all in one gulp, and this time was no exception. After finishing the drink, he made a face and said that the beer smelled bad—but it was ice anyway. Even when he said that, I was not suspicious at all, I just smiled and said, "It's like a liver!" Kai Ruolin left after seeing him finish his beer. After about forty minutes, Anja began to complain of stiffness and pain in her limbs.He said he must have had some muscular rheumatism.Anya has always been intolerant of any illness, and doesn't like other people making a fuss about him.So he said lightly, "I think it's an elderly relationship. Aisha, you're going to take in a useless old man." I pretended to support his statement, but I noticed that his legs moved strangely and stiffly, And made a pained look once or twice.It never occurred to me that it wasn't rheumatism.Then he pulled the bench over and sat on it, standing up from time to time to add a stroke here and there to the canvas.When he was painting, he often sat and looked at me for a long time, and then looked at the canvas for half a day, sometimes even half an hour.So I don't find it particularly strange. We heard the lunch bell, and he said he didn't want to go up, he just stayed there, didn't want to eat anything, that was the usual thing, and it was much better for him to stay than to face Caroline at the table. The way he talks is weird, like he's complaining.However, when he is dissatisfied with the progress of the work, he will occasionally do so. Meredith Black came in to meet me, and he talked to Anya, but Anya just murmured at him. So Meredith Blake and I went to the house together and left him there.We left him there - to die alone.I hadn't seen any symptoms--didn't know anything about diseases--and I thought Anya was just having a painter's tantrum again.If I knew...if I knew...maybe the doctor could have saved him...oh my God why didn't I know--it's no use thinking about that now.I'm a blind fool, blind and stupid fool. There is nothing else to say. After lunch, Caroline and the governess went down, and Meredith followed.After a while, he came running back and told us that Anya was dead. I knew then!I mean, I know Caroline killed him. I didn't think it was poison at the time, I thought she killed him with a gun or a knife. I can't wait to catch her right away──kill her... How could she do that?how come?He was so alive and full of energy and she was numbing him and freezing him out of my reach. scary woman... Terrible, vile, cruel, vengeful woman... I hate her, I still hate her to this day... She should be hanged... In fact, even hanging her would be too cheap for her... I hate her...I hate her...I hate her...