Chapter 29 Section VIII

Shimamura walked out of the bar and saw Kazuko standing there looking at the window of the women's clothing store that was not closed yet.The bright lights in the store shone on her thin shoulders in the kimono.Although she heard Shimamura's footsteps, she still stared at the window.Shimamura stood beside her. "I'm sorry!" Ke Shouzi said still looking at the window, "I didn't expect you to go there." "I didn't expect you to go there with Shenjing Liubei either." "Aren't you sarcastic again?" "Where, there is no such meaning."

"I really want to talk to you. Do you have time now?" Shimamura said, looking at the window, "I don't know what you want to talk about, but I don't have much time." "Can't you forget about Shenjing?" "Don't talk nonsense, that kind of thing doesn't matter to me." "I beg you, can you listen to me?" "Where?" "Please come with me!" Katoshi Takimura finally left the window. "I let the car go back, I will order a taxi!" Shimamura got into the taxi after Kazuko. "Please go to the bridge."

Shimamura blames Kotoko: "What's on the bridge?" "O sea." Ke Shouzi answered briefly. The car drove for a long time, left the city center, and entered the (Tokyo) Tokyo (Chi) Ye Highway in front of Kinshicho Station. On the "toll road", a row of street lights flashed coldly from the window. "Did you come here on purpose to see the sea?" Shimamura stared out of the dark window and exhaled.Kazuko began to run her fingers over Shimamura's hand. "What do you have to say?" "I'm so impatient. We'll talk about it when we get to the beach."

Leaving the "toll road", the car entered Chuanqiao Town.From here the road suddenly deteriorated, but the car turned towards the sea soon after. "Just get here." Ke Shouzi got off the taxi. "Let's go over there!" This is a narrow estuary, not far in front of which is an artificial embankment.Only the smell of sea water wafted through the darkness.Ke Shouko cuddles with Shimamura all the time.On the dark horizon, the lights of Tokyo are like a luminous veil.It looked like there was a restaurant nearby, but the doors were closed and the lights were turned off at the moment.With no lights around, the stars looked even brighter.

"Ah, it smells so good!... It's been a long time since I smelled sea water." "You usually smell the ink all day long." "Yes . . . that's why I've been feeling desperate lately." Shimamura did not answer, but listened quietly to the sound of the waves.The fishing boat on the opposite side with the red light on was driving, making a gentle sound. "Since I met you last time," said Ke Juzi, leaving Shimamura and looking at the sea, "I feel that other people are very boring." "Stop joking!" Shimamura said, "Didn't you come with Fukai-kun tonight?"

"That man is of no use to me. The embroidered pillow is just for show..." "But you've been using him in the past. In America, in France..." "Maybe everyone said that. In fact, I might be the one who was used. His avant-garde ikebana alone can't open the situation. I may be a bit bragging when I say this, but I think that, with my paintings displayed in the At the same time, his ikebana has attracted the attention of others. Foreigners still can’t appreciate the art of ikebana. Only Americans who have been to Japan are enthusiastic about it. However, my paintings are evaluated as new art. Fukai-kun is the other way around He used this to promote himself in the Japanese press."

"But" Shimamura said, "maybe that's the truth, but living in Fukai, Japan, is more famous than you. If you say that you have the honor of the strong, it can be said that you are the one who has the honor." "You just mentioned the strong man. But I think his art is nothing more than publicity. It has no content, just ingenuity. He knows nothing about Japanese traditions. The publicity world is completely confused by his mystification gone." "I'm not interested in Shenjing's stuff, please stop talking about it." Shimamura said, "Then, you have something to do with me, what is it?"

"Shimamura-kun" But Shouzi yelled, but didn't speak immediately.On the dark waves, there are dots of bright light shaking slightly. "I..." said Ke Shouzi squatting down, "I never told anyone that I was desperate in art, I can only tell you Shimamura-kun." "..." "When I say this to others, I will be shocked immediately. When people know that I said the same, their views will change. Artists will never say that their art is cornered." "Did you tell Shenjing?" "How can I tell him! How can he understand. He still treats me as judged by the society. Even if I lose self-confidence, I must resolutely maintain my original dignity. Once my weakness is exposed, I Immediately it becomes a target... the pain is that it has to be buried deep within myself. I can't talk to anyone and I'm struggling to get out of the wall."

"Here, what do you mean by exchange of views?" "Let me ask you first, how do you understand my confession just now?" "I'm not particularly surprised. I just think that you're aware of it yourself, just as I've noticed you're cornered. The only thing that surprises me is that I didn't expect to hear these words from your mouth, because you Always winning." "I beg you," Ke Shouzi suddenly stood up and walked in front of Shimamura, holding Shimamura's hand with both hands, "help me! Only you have the strength to drag me out of this dark tunnel."

"That's an exaggeration. I don't have that power." "No, you can do it... just a word, please point me to the future direction. Now that you have seen my desperate situation, of course you know the way to get rid of it." "Can not be done." Saying that, Shimamura withdrew the hand held by Kotoshiko. "no?" ’ I mean, you can’t wrestle your way out of that hell. " "You speak terribly!" "Think about it! Kazuko Takimura is famous for her current art. Kazuko Takimura, a female painter, has completed her own personality in her works, that is to say, no matter who has an impression of you, this It cannot be changed. If you change suddenly, you will suddenly fall..."

Ke Shouko gasped in surprise and stared at Shimamura.The distant lights made her eyes sparkle. "You took too much advantage of the publicity world. Just as you sold your body to Shen Jing, you sold your art to the publicity world." "..." "It's not like you didn't do nothing to get out of the corner. But it's partial, tiny tricks. Things like that don't make sense. To change, you have to change your whole." "..." "This is impossible for you. That is to say, you are too stereotyped and not suitable for changing direction... However, the situation of your opponent Fumiko Kui is also the same. It can be said that it is half the same. Therefore, you don't need to So depressing. Fumiko Hisai has not yet realized that her art is at a loss. Therefore, on this point, I think you are wiser than her." "... Please." Saying that, Ke Shouzi suddenly fell into Shimamura's arms. "Give me strength! Please!" She put her hands on Shimamura's chest and pressed her face against it. Shimamura fell silent.Ke Shouko raised her head and stared at Shimamura.Her faintly visible lips were trembling slightly.She stretched her legs and neck, waiting for Shimamura's kiss. "What are you going to do with Shenjing Liubei?" Shimamura asked while staring at the woman's slightly parted lips. "……separate!" "Are you serious?" "It's been decided since that night with you." "But, tonight you are with him again..." "I can't help it. He is begging me for nothing, and he can't refuse. Besides, I'm not sure about my love for Shimamura-kun... Women, that's how it is. The heart I love doesn't really belong to me. It's very disturbing when you are in love. If you really love me, I'll break up with him right away." "Shimamura-kun, do you love me?" Maybe because of the night, her eyes looked a little moist.The lips trembled slightly.Feeling her rapid breathing and a special smell in her mouth, Shimamura put his hand on Kojuko's shoulder.The tactile sensation evokes Shimamura's memories of a woman's body that he has touched only once.She felt the strength of Shimamura on her shoulders, as if the dam was about to be washed away by the flood.It was Shimamura who came out to prevent the embankment from breaking. He restrained both the opponent and himself. Shimamura put his hand on Kojuko's shoulder and pushed her back. Ke Shouzi stared at him in surprise. "forget it!" "..." "I don't want to repeat the mistakes of a reporter from a certain newspaper's culture department." "Why did you say..." "You'd better break through the barriers yourself. You can do it... Better not rely on me." "Shimamura-kun, you are a coward!" Ke Shouzi glared.Her face had sharp lines, but when the faint light in the distance illuminated half of her face, it looked even more desolate and severe. "I don't want to contradict you," Shimamura replied, facing her. "However, I think it's better for you to stop playing tricks. While you are strengthening your position with this, there may be new schools and new schools of thought." Painters, they will fundamentally shake your foundations." Ke Shouzi had an uneasy look on his face. "A person who has won status with his own efforts, in order to avoid losing it, clings to it. So a trick is born. The ugly faction of the painting circle that you despise the most is ultimately to keep yourself. You clearly know this, but you still jump into this quagmire... But Shouzi, don’t be afraid of your own fall, as long as you have this awareness, you can withstand all kinds of hardships in society and return to the original unknown woman .” "Shimamura-kun!" Kejuko said in a frightening voice, "Who is it, the person you are cultivating?" Kazuko Takimura waited for Riichi Shimamura's answer. The smell of sea water wafted on the wind from the dark sea.The bulbs of the street lamps on the embankment radiated cold light, and the lights of the ships in the distance were shaking. "The people I've raised worry you so much?" Shimamura glanced back at Kojuko, the strong light from the street lamp shone on one side of her face, and the oval outline trembled. "I'm very worried." Ke Shouzi replied in a sarcastic tone, "It was raised by Mr. Shimamura. I think it's terrible." "You don't need to meddle in other people's affairs, you should be more confident. Even if newcomers emerge in large numbers, your social status will not be shaken right now. Please rest assured about this." "The social status you mentioned refers to the secular status?" Ke Shouzi said, "Isn't it more appropriate to change it to a short period of time?" "You lack confidence." "I would like to be full of confidence, but in front of you, my self-confidence begins to waver." "It's strange. I'm just an art reporter, and I'm just a layman in ink painting." "You're lying to me. Recently, you haven't mentioned ink art in the newspapers, probably because you think that we are really hopeless! Once such a person cultivates newcomers with great enthusiasm, how can I rest assured! Who is it, tell me quickly!" "The name of that person will be kept secret for the time being until he emerges, because it is still unknown whether he will have a future." "Is it someone I know?" "This one," Shimamura held the lighter flame close to the cigarette.The firelight illuminated him from the nose up.Two eyebrows give people a sense of discord.Ke Shouko stared at him blankly until Shimamura lit the cigarette and the darkness shrouded his face again. "You can think whatever you want." After saying that, Shimamura took a puff of cigarette in the darkness. "How hateful!" Ke Shouzi said, "But I know that woman." "..." "Is it Yuriko Morisawa?" "..." "I think it must be her... that girl came to me a year ago for no reason. You know, I don't take apprentices. So I'm not teaching her how to do it, just looking at the drawings she brought That's all. I thought she had great hope, but when she came to me, she always looked at me with longing eyes..." "..." A strong sea breeze suddenly blew from the darkness, temporarily interrupting Ke Shouzi's voice. "However, she has changed recently. The yearning eyes disappeared, replaced by critical eyes. I know this very well. Because I have met all kinds of people and seen all kinds of eyes..." "Makes sense." "Among them, there are the eyes of men who are not interested in my art but in me as a woman; there are sneering and sarcastic eyes; You have a disdainful look like yours...it's all there, and it's not the only thing. Until now, I can recall who looked at me with any kind of eyes. The change in that girl's eyes can't be escaped. My observation." "Where did the change come from? I can't figure it out. Besides, she has stopped showing me paintings at all recently. I am not her master, so I can't ask her to show me. But, for her I carefully looked at the things I brought in the past, and told her what I felt. For this alone, that girl should also regard me as her teacher, but now her attitude has become It's as if she's going to shoot me with a bow. What's the reason? I really can't think of it. If you, Shimamura-kun, are behind her, I think the truth will be revealed." Shimamura took two or three steps. "As for your imagination, I can't tell you now." He bowed his head and replied, "However, if that's the case, it's not just Yuriko Morisawa who shakes your foundation. The waves of the sea push the waves. You see, now Small waves are beating against the embankment as if nothing had happened. However, when the tide comes, the sea water quickly rises to the upper part of the rock wall, and when the tide falls, it recedes in a blink of an eye. If you think that only one person regards you as The target of the impact, then it is a big mistake..." "...You are cultivating such a newcomer, right?" "I don't dare to covet the sky's work for my own. Even if I don't do it, someone will do it. The only thing I want to say is that you and Fumiko Jiujing are too famous." "To be clear, you're all pretty." "What do you mean by that!" "That's how I see it. However, what I'm saying is the truth. Whether it's you or Fumiko Jiujing, if it's an ordinary-looking woman, the press won't play it up like this, and the people around won't cheer her up like this. That is to say, you are the same as the stars...Of course, I also know that the modern ink painting circle is completely corrupt. They form cliques for selfish interests and make a mess. The addition of members of the art academy is even more appalling and unbearable. You It is absolutely correct to set up the banner of criticizing such an old painting circle. However, once you establish your own position, you will start to corrupt yourself.” Shimamura looked up at the sky.The positions of the stars have moved considerably, and the constellation of Orion is nearly at its zenith. "These things are hard to describe. I'm a little cold, go back quickly, don't catch a cold." Shimamura walked alone to where the car was parked. "Shimamura-kun!" But Shouzi caught up with him in stride and grabbed his arm. "Please," she said, "speak to me again!" "Say what?" "Go away now, I feel unbearably empty. Please stay with me and say nothing until I calm down." Kotoshiko grabbed Shimamura's hand and pulled him to her side. The neon sign of the hotel in the distance flickers in the dark.The sea breeze blows, and Kotoshiko's hair touches Shimamura's forehead.The faint light made Ke Shouzi's face slightly pale.She raised her affectionate face, her eyes were closed, and her lips were slightly parted. Shimamura pushed her shoulders away. "But Shouzi, don't be like this. From now on, you are you and I am me. Please go your own way with full confidence!" Shimamura did not take the taxi.His purpose was to let Ke Shouzi go back by car alone.He walked in the direction he came from. Ke Shouzi stood there glaring at his back.