Chapter 4 I miss you even if you don't know

I miss you even if you don't know People asked the old man, why are you going?Who is that person you brought with you? The old man said cheerfully, I'm going for a stroll, that's my granddaughter. Your granddaughter?Are they all this big? Hmm, it's so big.The old man happily led his granddaughter away. I'm used to following you, I'm used to it. You've been walking so slowly, I thought I could keep up. But I never thought that you will disappear, no matter how slowly you walk, but as long as you disappear, there is nothing I can do. I opened my eyes wide and looked and looked, turned and turned, thinking it was a joke you and I were making, thinking you would come out of nowhere suddenly and startle me with a smile, I thought, I thought.But you never came out, and later I learned that you disappeared, and when you disappeared, you were gone, and you could no longer be seen, touched, or touched.

It disappeared even if I went all over the world and couldn't find it. I never want to say goodbye to you. I would like to be your child for the rest of my life. Always get fifty cents from you to buy an ice cream to eat, and then pocket the remaining four cents. I would like to sit with you in a nightclub. We still have to celebrate the New Year together, I want to grab the remote control with you, I want to slam on the door like you did. I want to see you smiling kindly and teasing the puppy. I want to appear before you, and I want to say to you, is your granddaughter okay?I want to hear you say, well, my granddaughter can do it, really can do it.

All the hard work and all the gains, all of a sudden have value. It turned out that it was only in your sentence. Know what eagerness really means. With all my heart. I knew that this kind of love would be as touching as love, even more touching than love. Grandpa, I have loved you for so many years. People say that I write good stories, because you told me so many stories when I was young.Du Kang made wine, Lan Bold... Later, when I learned to swear, you only told a story, and I stopped swearing after so many years. I have a stubborn temper. When I was a child, I loved lying on the ground and rolling, and I would rush out to roll when it snowed. Only you coaxed me over and over again, over and over again.

I'm going to play in your house.Three pears melted in a cup of hot water.I eat two, you eat one. I like to eat sorbet. When you go to the street, take me there and buy it for me. I will sit there and eat it. You eat less or not. One night when the power went out, the two of us sat together on the kang, covered our legs and feet with a quilt, and then I sang.you just listen. I sing so loudly, you don't talk about me. I kept singing and singing, and when I got tired, we chatted, and I asked this and that, and you just answered and answered: At that time, it was like this, and at that time, it was like that.Later I was sleepy, so I fell asleep.

The kang is really warm, it is really solid to sleep, and it is really solid to sleep beside you. Logically speaking, you should be the one who slept on the kang, but I have always slept.People say, I have never seen a house like yours, let the child sleep on the kang, because you dote on me.I know.I was proud, and then I still slept on the kang head heartlessly. Then I went to bed, and you slept on the kang. That winter, you cut tops for them, and I asked for it too.So the first one had to be cut for me, and none of them dared to rob me, because you were here, because you spoiled me.I don't know how to play a top, and I still don't know how to play a top, but I am happy to hold that top.

Everyone knows that I have a good relationship with you. My family moved when I was in first grade.I took a fancy to a necklace, very expensive.You buy it for me without saying anything. After I settled down there, I took a dollar and went to find you by car.It's more than a hundred miles away, anyway, I went back and found you.Just like being by your side before, eating, playing, and sleeping.You put me in the car on Monday morning and I went back to school.From now on, as long as I miss you, I will go back to see you by myself.People say why this little girl is so wild.Because I want to see you.

I remember when we were in my hometown, we went for a walk one night, and we walked more and more to the suburbs. That time we walked a long way. There are tall poplar trees on both sides. When the wind blows, the fragrance of flowers, grass and earth is everywhere. I walk with you with peace of mind, I don't feel tired, and I don't want to know where the end is. When I was in the first grade of junior high school, I fell in love with a dress, so I ran to tell you about it.Just give me the money, and I'll buy it, and put on the swagger that's everywhere on my body that night.People say you dote on me, and I am very proud to hear that.

I still remember the appearance of that skirt, and I still remember saying loudly at the small window of the supper, I fancy a skirt, and you can give it to me as much as it costs.I ran to buy skirts and fulfilled my childhood vanity dream. When I was in the first year of high school, I saw an old man picking up rags on the street. It was so hard. I couldn't help crying on the street, crying, crying, and I couldn't help it.Because I thought of you, and if I wanted to be like you, I would be so distressed, so I couldn't help crying. How to make people feel at ease, how can I be at ease.You can't even cook, you can't wash clothes, you can't do anything, how can you live alone.Maybe that world doesn't need these anymore, but won't you be alone?There is no one to talk to you as a company.

I feel relieved when I see you sitting in front of the TV in good condition. I smiled and went about my love and hatred. I like to go to your place, do nothing, just go and go. Tease the puppy and send the puppy to your arms.When Tongtong was alive, I would put Tongtong on the kang in the morning, watch it smell you, wake you up, and then I would laugh, and you would laugh too in a daze. Your temper is always so good. Whenever I have money, I like to think about what you like to eat.Every time I buy you something delicious, I feel happy. Today, I took my things and ran out, my heart was pounding, I thought it was impossible, impossible, I didn't believe it, until I ran into the room, I saw you lying there, those Needles, bottles, and tubes are all gone.You lie there well, I go, I hold your hand, I like your hand the most, I think if you were born now, you must be able to play the piano.I'm calling your name, I'm holding your hand, I'm holding your hand, I'm calling your name.

But you ignore me, ignore me, ignore me. When they give you new clothes, they have to cut off the first button. I put that button away and put it in my bag.They asked me to go back and get a piece of clothes you usually wear, I went to get it, and found a handkerchief you usually used in the pocket of the clothes, and I secretly kept it, this is yours, I want to keep it.I don't tell anyone, and if I do, they won't let me take it. The cardigan I bought for you was taken off and they said it was going to be brand new.How I wish you could wear it, that sweater is so nice, it feels soft and warm to the touch, I really wish you could take it with you.Fortunately, I bought the watch you are wearing, and I begged them to put it on for you.You like to watch the time, how can you do without a watch?And your glasses, you are so short-sighted, how can you do without glasses.How to walk, how to watch TV?

You are lying there coldly, I am afraid that you will be frozen.But there are so many people there, they won't let me cover you with anything else.I want to see you again, but they won't let you.I want to stay with you again, but they won't let me. I'm really not afraid, really not.I am not afraid no matter how late the night is, I still want to see you. I was walking around in that yard by myself, I found a place, I saw you lying there, I wanted to call you, let's go home.But you ignored me, I know your ears are bad, I don't blame you.So I say it again, let's go home, say it again, let's go home.I bought so many delicious food today, let's go home, let's go home and eat.The quilts at the top of the kang are all warmed up and warm, waiting for you to go back and eat.The soybeans are also soaked, and I will give you soy milk tomorrow morning. But you ignored me, do you think I'm not good?Well, I will be obedient in the future, and I will listen to whatever you say. Can you go home with me?Later they kept pushing me away, saying it was not good for the little girl to stay here.What's wrong with me staying here, I'm not afraid of anything, I'm willing to accompany you, I don't blame you if you don't come home with me, I can accompany you here, but they won't let you. I took a taxi and went back in the dark, and I saw that the moon in the sky was still very round.It was only the fifteenth day a few days ago, and the moon has not disappeared. I want to baby you, always baby you, give you all the good things I can find in the world. But why are you ignoring me now?Why did you leave me halfway by myself? Even if I found the whole world, who could I dedicate it to? I always like to say, the last story, the last one.Really the last one. So it never ends, you can't sleep well, and you always want to think about the last story for me in a daze. Could this last story be that you are going to disappear, and then I will live alone in this world? Then I never want this last story. I know you are worried about my aunt, but don't worry, I will take care of it for you.As long as I have a bite to eat, I won't let my aunt be hungry.As long as I can live a good life, I won't leave her alone. I will be filial to grandma and treat her better than when you were here.I know that this is better than anything else, and I am willing to do this because I miss you.I want to love all the people who love you and the people you love, and love them as I love you. As I write this, I can't help it anymore, I'm going to send you away tomorrow morning, and you're going to a place alone. I want to go with you.I didn't dare to say it out. If I did, they would call me stupid and scold me. But I really want to.I am afraid that your eyes cannot see the way, and I am afraid that you will be bullied by others.You know that I am fierce, few people can bully me, I can protect you.We are together, never apart, no matter where. How can I rest assured that you are alone? I bought the apple you like, but you don't come back to eat it, and I don't like it, what should I do? The pancakes I bought are delicious. They are thin and easy to chew, but you don’t come to eat them. What should I do? How can I find you?You didn't tell me, how can I find you? I still want to see you in my next life, and I still want to be with you.I haven't spent enough time with you in this life. But how can I find you, how can I know that person is you. I want to be your grandfather, you can be my granddaughter, let me love you too, I will work hard and live so that we can be together, stay a little longer, stay a little longer, stay a little longer a while. At noon that day, I lost one of my earrings.No matter how hard I looked, I couldn't find it. The day you go to the hospital, the TV at home doesn't work.Never again.If you like watching TV so much, if you don’t watch it, it will break down. What if I miss you?Where can I go to see you? I used to think that being apart from my lover would be incomplete and painful, but I never knew that being apart from you was more painful and incomplete than that. You have grown into my life since I was not born, if you want to take it out of me abruptly, how can my life be complete, how can it be painless. I love writing stories about having a big hole in my body, and I really know what that feels like and what it feels like now.This is a hole that can never be repaired, a hole that cannot be filled with anything.I never thought that one day you would leave me, just like growing up, I always thought that those things were too far away from me, I didn't expect it to come so soon. I want you to know, I want you to know how much I miss you, I want you to know how much I want to be good to you. There has never been a person in this world who made me want to be nice to him like this, but I didn't know until I was without you. But no matter how much I miss you, you don't know...